My name is Lisa Shlossberg and I will be your guide for today.
This video is to support you in preparing to go eat out at a restaurant,
Which if you are an emotional eater,
A stress eater,
A social eater,
Or you're just trying to stabilize in your relationship with food,
This can be one of the trickiest things to navigate,
Which is very normal,
Very valid,
And very human.
The thing about going to a restaurant is that there is a lot of stimulus.
So if you are going out,
Not only are you in an environment that can be really stimulating,
But there are very often other people that we're eating with that can bring up some social components of the relationship with food.
So especially also if you identify as a people pleaser or you have some codependent tendencies,
These can show up around food,
Where if you're sitting at a table,
For example,
You might be thinking or very preoccupied with what other people are eating,
How much other people are eating,
What other people are ordering.
In terms of quantity or quality.
What other people are drinking,
If anything?
And are people taking things home?
So a lot of that is not related necessarily to food itself,
But to the environment and the company that is around food.
But more than anything,
I think what I notice with struggling in these scenarios is that because there is fear or doubt or concern about going and eating at a restaurant,
And so much anxiety some of the time,
About what to eat or how much to eat.
The thoughts itself can dysregulate the nervous system.
And what tends to happen is that because we get scared either about how we will eat or perform in this kind of scenario or what other people are going to think or how other people are going to judge us.
That fear and anxiety.
Can create a stress response in the mind-body system.
So now you're sitting at a table and you're looking at a menu,
But your animal brain feels like you are being chased by a predator.
So you might notice if you are out to dinner,
For example,
That you're having a reaction that is really similar to fight,
Flight,
Freeze,
Because it feels like it's life-threatening because you're scared,
Which again is very valid.
The only problem with that is that if that's what's happening and your system is in a stress response,
You can't listen to hunger and fullness.
You can only be in the stress response or the stress relief response at any given point.
You can either be in the sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system.
And so the sympathetic is where it is the alarm bells are ringing and an emergency is happening or perceived to be anyway.
That's how a lot of people show up who get worried about food and eating at a restaurant.
The parasympathetic nervous system.
Is also known as rest and digest.
This is the system that we want to be in when we're eating.
And so what I'm saying to you is before you go to a restaurant,
Really the most important thing for you to practice is regulation of your own system.
So that you can focus on and stay connected to hunger and fullness cues,
Rather than thinking about what everyone else is doing or how you might be judged and perceived by other people.
This is a practice of staying present with yourself in your own body.
And that is not always easy to do,
Especially,
Again,
When there's a lot of input coming in.
So before you get in there,
I want to give you a moment to practice.
Close your eyes if that feels okay for you or just drop your gaze nice and low.
Take a few deep breaths,
So fill yourself up with an inhale.
And exhale,
Sigh it out.
Let's do that again.
Inhale,
Nice and big.
And exhale,
Let it go.
And keeping your eyes closed,
Keeping the focus on your breath.
Just allowing yourself to follow the breath as it moves through you in its own natural rhythm.
You don't need to control it.
You don't need to change it.
But just staying mindful of your breathing.
Because as you do this,
Just feeling every inhale.
Following every exhale.
What you're doing is communicating to your system that you are safe.
You are safe.
You might have fears.
You might be feeling anxious about this,
And that's okay.
That's okay.
So rather than pretending that that's not true,
You can just allow that energy to be here.
And notice what comes up in your mind,
In your body.
When you really think about going into the restaurant.
And notice how it feels if it brings up some fear.
You are here,
You are breathing.
Hmm.
And notice the sensations in your body that come along with the anxiety or the worry,
The doubt.
And just allow them to be here breathing into.
Of parts of your body that might be tensing or clenching or tightening.
You're speeding up.
And just send it a nice compassionate breath.
Reminding yourself that you are here and it's okay.
This is a restaurant.
Not a predator.
And you can handle this by staying present with yourself.
And while you're here with your eyes closed and focusing on your breath,
I want to offer you a tool.
That I sometimes practice when I'm with other people.
Stay with me.
And that is the bubble.
So with your eyes closed,
Just envisioning yourself in a bubble.
And this bubble is so strong,
Nothing can get into it.
A car or a train or an airplane going at full speed will just crash into the bubble because it will protect you.
No matter what.
And in your bubble you get to bring whatever energy you like.
So the energy of peace,
Calm,
Safety,
Presence.
You can even bring some of your safety or comfort items with you.
And so while you are in your bubble,
No one else at the table needs to know.
And all the energy,
All the commotion.
And everyone else's thoughts and feelings and opinions and judgments,
They all exist outside the bubble.
And they can't get in.
And so taking a moment just to feel what it's like.
To leave all of that outside.
It's not yours.
You don't have to take it in,
You don't have to pick it up.
Right here,
Right now,
When you go to this restaurant or you eat out.
What you're going to focus on is how you feel in your body.
And keeping your breath nice and still,
Nice and slow.
Keeping yourself grounded,
Keeping yourself safe.
And from this place you can access.
Hunger and fullness.
And you can make decisions.
That feel aligned with you.
So stay here as long as you need,
As long as you like.
And whenever you feel ready,
You can just start to blink your eyes open again.
Noticing your surroundings,
Just grounding yourself back in the present moment nice and slowly.
And really remembering as you move into this experience.
Of the best way.
For you to make decisions.
And judgments that feel good and aligned for you.
Is to keep your system feeling safe.
So I hope you enjoy your meal.
And as always,
You can come back to this video anytime you need it.
