Stop Suffering And Live From A Higher State Of Consciousness

In this episode of Breakdown to Breakthrough with Lisa A. Romano, Life Coach, and Award Winning Author, you will learn about how humans' innocent ego has no choice but to create a story and identity entirely shaped by external experiences they could not. This power is called metacognition, and Lisa strongly believes that humans suffer because they have not been taught how to activate this state of higher consciousness. Instead, many remain locked within the consequences of their traumatic childhoods, and tethered to emotional flashbacks, and a heightened survival response, unaware they are unaware of the internal mental operations at play control as a child.

Transcript

Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,

The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true,

Authentic self.

I'm Lisa A.

Romano,

Your host.

As an award-winning author and certified life coach,

I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.

I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self.

My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.

In this podcast,

I'll share insights,

Tools,

And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.

Namaste,

Everybody.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano,

And today we're going to be talking about how you can walk the path of non-resistance and learn how to experience less suffering in your life despite a painful past.

As a life coach and as someone who's been on this emotional healing journey for many years now,

I would say that I've been on the conscious journey knowing that there was something wrong with me probably for about three decades now.

That doesn't mean I always knew where to look,

But it does mean that about 30 years ago,

I began to understand something was really wrong.

That really started to happen when I began to experience tremendous anxiety in my life and when I was getting more,

I would say,

Accountable for having an eating disorder when I was a teenager and young adult well into college,

And being a mom,

A new mom,

And recognizing the level of frustration that I had,

And recognizing that something was really wrong.

I was not happy.

I was not fulfilled.

I had everything that you would think would make someone fulfilled.

I was married.

I had two healthy children at the time.

I had a business.

I had a beautiful home,

And here I was unhappy.

I was really beginning to recognize that something was really wrong.

That is how so many of our awakening journeys begin.

Something's wrong.

There was a hole in the wall.

I knew there was a hole in the wall,

But I couldn't see it.

I couldn't identify it.

I realize now I recognize that now.

That's because I was not awakened.

I was still living below the veil of consciousness,

But something was stirring in my spirit where I was beginning to understand there has to be more to life here.

As my life progressed,

I had another child.

Like so many people do who are in a toxic marriage,

You just get to a point where you think this is the best it's going to be.

I'm not going to leave him.

She's not going to leave me.

I'm not going to leave her,

Whatever.

This is probably the best it's going to be.

Who's happy anyway?

I had gotten to this place of accepting that my ex-husband and I were never going to be on the same page.

Like I said,

This is the best it's going to get.

I should just accept it.

As it turned out,

I just kept getting physically sicker and sicker and sicker,

And I couldn't ignore that until one time I had such a bad asthma attack that the doctor that I was seeing at the time,

Who I didn't like very much,

By the way,

Said,

You better listen to your body because your body is listening to you.

That was a huge,

Huge wake-up call.

I thought,

Wow,

So it isn't just a matter of me consciously accepting that this is the best it's going to get.

There's something deeper.

There's a deeper process that's stirring within me that I'm not yet aware of that I cannot ignore,

Because he told me that if I fell asleep,

I would not awaken.

I was breathing with less than 20% of one lung.

That's when my mind opened.

Something happened where my mind,

I would say a window into my mind opened,

And for the first time,

It was a very strange experience,

But for the first time,

It was like I was looking through a looking glass,

And I was observing my mind.

That fascinated me,

That I could have this observer-type experience,

That I could see the way my mind was working.

For the first time in my life,

I had some space between me and my emotions,

Where I was observing my emotions,

And there was some type of cause and effect experience happening in which emotions were stirring,

And my body was responding.

After much,

Much meditation,

And much,

Much self-inquiry,

And radical self-acceptance,

And radical accountability,

Radical authenticity,

I realized that what was happening within myself was I was having this so-called awakening,

Where I was learning to observe what was happening in the land of the subconscious mind,

And over time,

I learned to piece together my story in which,

Oh,

The reason I was the way I was was because of these childhood experiences,

Being raised by a passive-aggressive,

Highly-controlling,

Codependent mom,

Who I think,

In my own opinion,

She had high narcissistic traits,

But I wouldn't deem her as the narcissist in the relationship.

I would definitely deem my dad as the narcissist in that relationship.

Being raised by a codependent mom who was below the veil,

Highly reactive to whatever my father needed,

And my father being highly narcissistic,

Living below the veil,

And being reactive to his own unhealed childhood trauma,

Living in this world of grandiosity,

Thinking that he was right all the time,

Lacking empathy for just about anybody that came into his experience,

And God forbid you tried to hold him responsible for something that he said,

Or some behavior that he engaged in,

That really set the stage for you to believe he really didn't care about you as a person,

Because he was very quick to disregard you and dismiss you if you dared to confront him about anything,

Where my mother basically intimidated you to the point where you didn't dare even question what she said.

And all of this ties back to being a little girl,

In my case,

A little girl who needed both of these parents like she needed air,

And being programmed below the veil of consciousness to have a brain that is wired,

Very short-fused,

Who never felt safe,

Who never felt carefree,

And who lived externally trying to figure out how to keep them calm,

And how to keep them safe.

Why?

So to avoid the pang of abandonment.

But here's the thing,

That pang of abandonment was always there.

I was just running from it.

And that pang of abandonment,

What gave birth to generalized anxiety disorder,

It gave birth to panic attacks,

It gave birth to perfectionism,

It gave birth to focusing on things that I could not control,

Worrying about what people thought about me,

Thinking that,

Oh,

If I look this way,

Or if I look that way,

If I weighed that much,

I was more acceptable,

Right?

All of these superficial,

Truly egoic concepts and ego identities that had been brainwashed into me throughout my childhood and my adolescence that falsely had me believing that if I just had that thing,

If I just had that experience,

Then I would be good enough.

It's all a bunch of hogwash.

So here I am in my mid-30s.

Now,

I have three children,

And I'm realizing that something really is really wrong,

And it's inside of me.

Yes,

My marriage sucked.

Yes,

My marriage was toxic.

But more than that,

Something was stirring inside of me.

Something was going on below the veil that had nothing to do with him,

Or was being exaggerated through this codependent narcissistic relationship.

So it was a huge wake-up call.

When I realized that my ex and I were codependent,

I was excited.

I was over the moon.

I was like,

I know what's wrong with us.

We're codependent.

I found a therapist.

I started taking myself seriously.

It was the fifth or sixth therapist that I had tried.

This one seemed to stick.

This one seemed to know what he was talking about and told me that,

Listen,

You're not crazy.

All of what you're experiencing is valid,

But you worry way too much what other people think about you.

Essentially,

You're having this existential breakdown in which you don't know who you are.

Outside of complaining about this relationship,

Outside of focusing on what he doesn't do and what he doesn't say,

Outside of focusing on how miserable you are,

You really don't know who you are.

That really scared me.

I did not know who I was.

I remember walking out of those therapy sessions really feeling like I was in a crisis,

Like who am I?

That really rattled me to my core because when I looked in,

I found nothing.

I mean,

If you took him away,

If you took the complaining away,

There really was nothing at that time.

Of course,

Three decades later,

I'm going to be 60,

I recognized that that was my awakening,

That you cannot merge with higher self until you see the emptiness of the false self.

That was my journey.

It wasn't easy,

But that's where I was at that time.

Over the course of my life,

I learned it was my way to use meditation as a gateway to look within,

To calm down the mental chatter,

To slow down the negative subconscious faulty childhood patterns and programs that I had learned throughout my childhood.

It was a very pragmatic and practical way for me to,

Which I didn't even realize I was doing it at the time,

But what I was doing was I had awakened the observer.

I could see the patterns and the programs now were responsible for my anxiety,

That were responsible for my codependency.

I could also see that I lacked data.

I didn't know how to be a functional human being.

I didn't know how to accept how people thought about me.

I only knew that I was supposed to control it.

Why?

Because that's what I was taught as a little girl.

What do people think about you,

Lisa?

What's your teacher going to think?

What's grandma going to think?

What's your father going to think?

What's your boyfriend going to think?

What are the neighbors going to think?

Don't you dare say that outside of this house.

What happens in this house stays in this house.

All of this faulty negative childhood programming that really taught me to suppress my authentic self and to live in fear of people rejecting me was running the ship.

I was able to,

From a higher state of consciousness,

Recognize that I didn't have healthy data.

I didn't have healthy parents.

I didn't know how to feel my feelings.

I didn't know how to be honest with how I felt.

I didn't even know what I felt.

I knew how you felt,

But I didn't know how I felt.

Why?

Because I wasn't allowed to feel as a child.

Whatever I felt was criticized.

I was gaslit as a child.

I was mocked.

I was made fun of.

I associated pain with authenticity and pleasure with faking it,

With pretending I was okay when I wasn't,

Which is an absolute inversion of what Source wanted me to do,

Which is tell my truth and to be in touch with who I am and to associate pleasure with authenticity and pain with being disingenuous and with not being able to be my true self.

This has been a long,

Long journey,

And I've made a lot of mistakes along the way,

But every time I fell,

I learned something.

Can we really call that a mistake or just the process of evolution?

This is the path.

I'm slowing down my mental field.

I'm recognizing that not only is what's in my mind dysfunctional,

I don't have the data I need to be functional.

I don't know how to not react to every emotion.

I didn't even understand ego at that point.

I didn't understand that ego represented my subconscious self,

My false self,

That ego doesn't argue with your emotions.

Ego is designed to basically tell you that everything you feel is a fact,

That your opinions are absolutely on point,

That everybody else is wrong,

Especially if they disagree with you.

Ego is not objective.

I didn't even understand that.

Here I was living through the ego,

Through my shadow,

And I had no clue that that's what was going on.

Learning to slow down my mind really allowed me to see all of these holes in the wall.

When I was coming through that experience,

That kind of freaked me out.

I was like,

My God,

I'm that messed up.

I don't have that data,

And that's what I'm doing.

It was a break in consciousness.

In other words,

It was a breakthrough in consciousness,

But at the same time,

I was still in ego consciousness because I was judging myself.

I was like,

No,

I can't be there.

Yes,

I am there.

Wow,

I just judged that person.

That's ego consciousness.

When you're in that level of consciousness,

You really don't understand the beauty of that is that you can see it.

The reason I know I'm not my hand is because I can look at my hand.

I can see that my hand is not me.

Once I could see a pattern and a program,

What I had to work through was not judging myself for what showed up in the mental field.

I had to train myself because it is mental training.

I had to train myself to recognize that being able to see a negative pattern filter the subconscious mind into the conscious field as a good thing.

I was on the right path.

Then self-inquiry was a huge part of the healing process in which I had to start looking within.

I had to stop living this exterior life.

I had to stop worrying about what people thought about me.

I had to stop trying to control what I thought other people thought about me.

Once that clicked,

Lisa,

You are walking through life thinking,

Falsely thinking that the way that you move,

Or the way that you look,

Or how much weight you weigh,

Or what kind of car you drive,

Or the way that you speak,

The way that you hold yourself,

You're really under the illusion,

Which is an illusion.

You really do believe that somehow doing all these things,

Checking off all these boxes that your mother taught you to focus on,

Is going to be able to control how someone else perceives,

Or feels about you,

Or thinks about you,

Or how they treat you.

It was a huge aha moment for me when I realized that was a bunch of nonsense,

That you could do everything right,

You could be the kindest person in the world,

And you still cannot control how people perceive you.

There are so many reasons why.

There's narcissism,

Where people are unable to integrate their shadow,

And then they project their rejected aspects of self onto other people,

And they accuse you of exactly what they're guilty of.

You see that?

It's rampant in society today.

You get to a point where it's almost comical when you see how many people live through this hypocritical state of consciousness,

And they're accusing,

Sometimes of narcissists,

Of what they're guilty of.

They take this high moral ground,

Where there's this subjective morality,

And almost as if,

Well,

Because I'm calling it out,

That means it's not me.

Not always.

Sometimes,

In lots of the cases actually,

When we are struggling with our shadow,

And we're unable to integrate it,

We see it in the experience of someone else.

And as we do this healing work,

And we move more towards the light,

And we grow in consciousness,

We see the value in confronting our own shadow.

And when we confront our shadow with compassion,

And grace,

And understanding,

And we all have different ways to get there.

My way to get there has been by understanding the psyche,

By understanding the psychological self,

By understanding that there are two streams of consciousness operating at all times.

There's the conscious stream,

And then there's the subconscious stream.

And in terms of science,

The default mode network is the subconscious stream.

That's where all my patterns and programs,

And habitual streams of consciousness,

My thoughts,

My behaviors,

My perceptions,

All my ego identity,

That's going to involve that stream of consciousness,

Which is subconscious.

And then there's a higher stream of consciousness,

Where I'm able to be detached,

And objective,

And rational,

And logical,

Fair-minded,

Equanimous,

Regardless of what's happening in the outer world.

And that's happening always.

So my path to get there was understanding the science behind the psychological self,

Or the unevolved self,

Or the unawakened self,

And then developing mental skills that allowed me to practice and harness living in a higher state of consciousness through self-inquiry,

And radical acceptance,

And radical accountability,

And this idea that I can move in this direction,

I can move my consciousness from that plane of consciousness deliberately and at will.

And so I wanted to really explain how I got to where I got,

And how,

In my opinion,

When you are recovering from an injury,

An emotional injury,

Childhood trauma,

And for argument's sake,

Codependency,

It's really a cover word for the potential for enlightenment.

Because when you're a codependent,

You're operating from below the veil of consciousness.

You are operating from your shadow.

You're operating from the wounded ego.

And you have learned that by having no self,

Or denying the self,

Detaching from the self,

That was safer,

Because it was not safe to operate authentically.

So somewhere in your childhood,

You recognize,

Uh-uh,

I have to abandon the self,

And I have to focus on mommy and daddy's needs.

I live to serve their needs.

That's what happens when you're a child of trauma,

And you have narcissistic parents,

Or emotionally immature parents,

Unconscious parents.

There's this idea where you're supposed to take care of them.

You're not supposed to cry,

Because if you cry,

That upsets them.

Now,

You can't cry,

So you can't be authentic.

You can't tell them that you don't want this toy,

You prefer that toy,

Because they're going to call you selfish.

You can't tell them that your belly hurts,

Because that's going to annoy them.

They want to go to work,

Or they want to watch the football game,

Or whatever.

Or they want to leave you with the neighbor,

So they can go out and have a good time.

Ah,

You can't complain.

So you get conditioned to abandon the self for their sake.

Now,

You remain in that stream of consciousness,

Which is the subconscious consciousness,

Until you are lucky enough to have an awakening.

There is a time to say,

This is what happened to me.

This is the pain that I experienced.

And this is when you're going back in time,

And you're developing the ego boundary.

When you're young,

And you're denied the ego boundary,

And the ego boundary is basically the right to say,

I feel,

I think,

I want,

I need,

I don't like,

I like.

And when you come from a narcissistic family,

Or a toxic family,

That ability to look within and operate from your authentic self,

With these boundaries,

Gets obliterated.

You're not allowed to do that.

And so many codependents,

And those adult children from alcoholic homes,

For instance,

And those of us who have come from abandonment issues,

And emotional neglect,

And worse,

We need to go back.

We need to unearth this,

What went wrong.

And what we discover is that by honoring the inner child,

We give ourselves the permission to say,

I think,

I feel,

I want,

I need,

And this is what happened to me.

And we give ourselves the space to acknowledge,

This is what happened to me.

So we are able to articulate our story.

So it's from a higher state of consciousness,

This divine parent in us is saying,

Tell me your story,

Which would have been so healing when we were three,

Four,

Five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight,

Nine,

Ten,

Or twelve,

Right?

Like somebody is our witness.

And so having that witness,

Becoming our own witness is so powerful.

And it allows us then to fill up our own holes,

Right?

It's us filling up our own holes from a higher state of consciousness.

But I can tell you,

That's not enough,

Right?

Filling up your holes isn't enough.

You have come to expand.

You've come to create.

You've come to experience true light in your life.

You've come to experience love.

You've come to experience abundance.

You've come to experience non-resistance.

You've come to be untethered to the past.

And that is possible if you don't stop growing.

So recovering from the past,

Yes,

Putting the pieces of the puzzle together,

Identifying what happened,

Pinning the tail on the donkey,

Acknowledging your anger,

All of that is important.

But it is not enough if you truly want to expand beyond.

Because here's the thing,

You are ego,

But you are also spirit.

And ego has opinions.

And ego does not forget.

Ego holds on.

And the reason ego holds on is because it has been designed to prevent this bad thing from happening to you again.

So that's why ego remembers,

Right?

But you're also spirit.

That spiritual part of you is less concerned about the story than it is with your authentic self.

So you're always going to feel this pull.

And so you could stay stuck and you could say,

Yes,

That happened to me.

I'm not going to let go.

I'm not going to forgive.

And I have a right to be angry.

And all that's true,

Right?

From your inner child's perspective and from the human perspective,

That is absolutely true.

And that is your choice.

But I'm here to tell you that as I have been on this journey for as long as I have,

It always felt like I was kind of stuck.

I was in resistance.

And I think that's because the greater part of us is much more intelligent than ego.

Because ego only has certain data where our higher self has the big picture.

Our higher self can see what happened in our mother and father's lives and our grandfather's lives and beyond.

So when you reach a certain level of consciousness where I call it the eye in the sky consciousness,

Where I'm able to see the patterns in the programs and understand the cause and effect nature of my experience,

Then I'm able to rise above the cornfield a little bit.

And I can see the patterns.

I can see the programs.

I understand why what happened,

But it's not enough.

So that's level two consciousness.

Level one consciousness is you're in the muck.

You're in the maze like I was up until I was about 33.

I'm in the muck.

I'm in the maze.

I'm thinking the same things,

Getting sicker and sicker physically,

Mentally,

And emotionally,

Spiritually every day,

Just getting sicker and sicker and sicker because I'm doing the same things over and over and over expecting a different result.

And I think many of us live in that place for a long time.

Some of us give up and go,

Oh,

It's just is what it is.

So we experience less resistance.

We're not fighting it so much,

But we're still stuck.

And then there's level two consciousness.

And level two consciousness is when,

Uh-oh,

I know that that's a pattern.

My mother was an alcoholic.

My father was an alcoholic.

My brother's a narcissist.

And my grandparents were alcoholics.

And okay,

I'm starting to see the patterns.

I don't feel good enough.

I fear authority.

I don't know how to have fun.

I'm afraid that everything's going to go to crap if I don't control everything.

I have to be aware.

I have to be hypervigilant.

I have to anticipate a problem.

I have to get out 10 feet ahead of it.

I have to worry about what people think about me.

If I made enough money,

Then I'd be happy.

If I had less kids,

Then I'd be happy.

If I had more kids,

I'd be happy.

If my husband didn't drink,

Then I'd be happy.

We put all these limitations on our right and ability to be happy.

Level two consciousness is when you can see that.

Level three consciousness is when you are in a state of nonresistance to what has been.

If we're talking spiritual language,

And I don't mean to offend anybody,

If you're watching this and you're not into that,

Just stick with me.

Think about it in terms of consciousness.

If the word spirit offends you,

Just think consciousness.

Just think a higher level of consciousness.

So at a higher level of consciousness,

What I'm able to do then is to accept that I can't change the past.

I can't.

I cannot change the past.

But what I can do is move into a state of surrender and recognize what all emotionally resilient people recognize.

One of those things is bad things happen to everybody,

That nobody escapes human suffering,

That being human and being in your ego identity,

You are guaranteed to suffer because ego is built to look for problems.

Ego is not built for happiness.

Ego is built to remember the pain.

Ego is built to judge yourself.

Ego is built to judge others.

So while in ego,

I am bound to suffer.

Ego is body.

So if I'm sick,

Like what Eckhart Tolle says,

I'm in my pain body.

Ego is tied to time.

Ego is tied to the past.

We want to recognize that when we come here and we remain in ego consciousness,

We are bound to suffer.

But in third level consciousness,

We're able to acknowledge like,

Okay,

Ego is a part of my story and it's gotten me to this point,

But I'm not just ego.

I'm not just the past.

I'm the now.

I'm the future.

And with enough deliberate intention,

I can mold my future.

I think this is fascinating,

This idea that everything that the greatest spiritual teachers of all time have tried to teach us is actually can be proven through science.

The brain can actually prune itself and it does.

In other words,

Like if I could snap my fingers and I could just say to you,

Okay,

Michael,

Okay,

Susan,

Okay,

Linda,

From today moving forward,

That's it.

The past is done.

You're just going to focus on reminding yourself that you are very fortunate to be alive,

That you are in a body that is functional,

That you can breathe,

That you can think.

And you,

With a snap of my fingers,

All you're ever going to think about is how lucky you are that you're a human being that has a liver and a heart,

A set of lungs,

An esophagus,

A stomach.

You have eyes,

You can see,

You have emotions and you can feel.

You love life.

You can feel the ground.

You can breathe air from this moment on.

That's all you're going to think about.

What would happen over time is that your reticular activating system would tune itself up for only things that are much more positive.

And over time,

Your brain would then look at itself,

Which is amazing,

Would observe itself and say,

Hmm,

We're not using these old neurological pathways that we used to use to focus on what might happen that we didn't want to happen.

And so let's just mark that with a protein.

And you know what?

When this avatar goes to sleep,

Then we'll just come along with this process that sweeps these old neural pathways away.

That is your brain doing what's called synaptic pruning.

Imagine that,

Dear one.

Imagine that if you literally had past amnesia and you woke up today and you only focused on positive aspects of yourself.

Imagine if you woke up and you said,

Oh,

Bad things happen to everybody.

This isn't happening to me.

What can I learn from this?

Like what John Lennon says,

There are no problems,

There are only solutions.

What is this teaching me?

What skill can I cultivate?

What do I need to learn from this experience?

What do I need to let go of?

What do I need to accept?

What am I trying to control?

Imagine developing that guru type mentality moving forward.

Your brain would change.

That is neural plasticity.

I'm not making it up.

If you don't believe me,

Look it up.

And this is how it works.

So when we're thinking about why do we keep stuck?

Well,

Why do we stay stuck?

Excuse me.

Why can't I change my life?

When we look at it objectively and we recognize we're not doing anything to change our life,

Then how could my life change?

If my thoughts don't change,

How does my life change?

If I don't start thinking differently,

How does my life change?

When there is a shift in your mental field that is able to impregnate the subconscious field with feeling,

What is my whole intention of creating this session for you?

Hope.

Because if I can get you to hope,

That's a shift in your feeling.

If I can get you to feel hope,

Then that might inspire you to take some action.

And it might inspire you to look up what I'm talking about.

It might inspire you to meditate.

It might inspire you to question what level of consciousness am I operating from right now?

Am I operating from ego consciousness,

Which is valid?

Or am I operating from love consciousness?

Am I walking on the ego side of the street with a bunch of opinions and not being objective and thinking that because people don't think like me,

They're a threat?

Am I judging other people?

Am I expecting people to judge me?

Am I highly reactive?

Or am I living with more compassion in my heart?

Am I living with understanding?

Am I living with a spiritual detachment or emotional intelligence?

Am I looking for the big picture?

What level of consciousness am I at?

Self-inquiry,

Like wondering where we're at.

So at level three consciousness,

We're developing the skills to be able to change our patterns effectively,

Which is what I like to teach people to do.

It takes a while to get to that point where you actually can change a pattern because most people,

When they first find my work,

They're operating at almost level two consciousness where they know something's wrong and they know that their childhood has something to do with it,

But they're not really as aware or as clear as to what patterns are operational.

And so we walk them up and out of that experience into level two consciousness where it's like,

Oh,

I can see that pattern.

Level three consciousness is where we really harness the ability to be accountable,

Right?

Why?

Because we're emotional warriors.

We can see the cause and effect nature of this work.

And we know that we can live in a higher state of consciousness where in the fourth level of consciousness,

We're able to experience synchronicity.

We're able to experience serendipity where it's just like,

I'm good.

You don't have to like me.

And I don't have to particularly like you.

And I'm not in resistance to me not wanting to hang out with you.

I kind of accept it.

We're not on the same frequency.

And I accept that you don't want to hang out with me.

And that from your perspective,

You're feeling like we're not on the same frequency.

We're not equally yoked.

And that's okay.

You do you,

Boo,

And I do me,

Right?

There's just this non-resistance.

And this level of living,

Like this level of consciousness is so freeing because that enables you to be the spouse of someone who might be really dysfunctional.

And you can observe them from a state of non-resistance,

Knowing that you can't change them,

That they're entitled to their perception of self.

They're entitled to their perception of the world.

They're on their timeline.

They've come to learn what they need to learn,

And you can't control that.

And you can get to a place in your life where you can be loving anyway,

Where you're non-resistant,

Even to your resistance towards them.

And you can become a parent who might be unhappy with your child's choice as a spouse,

People that they hang out with or their career choice,

Right?

So you can recognize these two streams of consciousness,

Subconscious and conscious.

And you can recognize that there are two sides of the street.

There's the ego side of the street and the love and compassion side of the street.

And you could recognize that within yourself,

The ego in you might not be happy with this.

That's your opinion.

But when you go to the other side of the street,

You recognize that this is your son's journey and he's on his own path.

And he's going to have to attract and manifest situations in which teach him the lessons that he needs to learn in his own time.

And you can love your child anyway.

I went through this with my oldest child when he married,

Who I think was a very narcissistic woman,

And there was nothing I could do about it.

And my son said to me,

Mom,

Don't make me choose.

And I thought,

Okay,

I have to become non-resistant to his choice.

And I have to love him anyway.

And I have to be kind to his partner because if I'm unkind to his partner,

I'm living and walking on the ego side of the street.

And that's just going to create distance between me and my son.

And that's going to give his wife at the time,

Every excuse in the world to not be a part of our lives.

So I didn't want to give her that excuse.

So it was me staying at level three consciousness,

Recognizing,

Lisa,

You got to be really careful here how you navigate this.

You want to be accepting.

You want to be non-attached.

You want to be non-resistant.

You want to accept how you feel.

You want to observe what's happening around you,

But you don't want to get caught up in it.

You don't want to follow your son or his wife at the time down any rabbit holes.

You don't even want to follow your ego down any rabbit holes,

Keep everything under check.

And in that experience,

I chose what I refer to as love consciousness.

There was nothing that my son could have done that would cause me to not flow love towards him.

And that does not mean that if my son crossed a line where he started biting the hand that fed him,

Which he never did,

He started to react in a very negative way towards me.

He never did.

What it does mean is that I watched my son literally walk into the mouth of a lion.

And there was nothing that I could do about it because the more I tried to warn him,

The more he fought back,

The more he dug his heels in.

And it was then that I realized,

Mom,

You've got to let go,

Right?

You've got to let go.

You've got to let your baby figure this out.

And he did.

And living in that state of consciousness is really,

It's a daily spiritual challenge.

It's a daily consciousness challenge.

It's a daily challenge to go up against the ego that wants to try to control everything.

What was really happening?

I was having anxiety over my son being in this relationship.

It triggered me.

I didn't want him to have to go through what I went through,

But that's the ego in me wanting to control everything.

But the higher self said,

Let go.

Higher self said,

Give him an opportunity to learn and be there for him when and if this all falls apart,

Which is what happened.

And my son is remarried to a wonderful girl.

They're very happy.

I love her.

We all love her and they're very happy.

So it all turned out okay.

But I can tell you that while he was in that relationship,

It really was teaching me to let go,

Let go,

Let go,

Be non-resistant.

You can't control this.

He's on his own timeline.

Even she's on her own timeline.

Try not to be resistant to her.

Whatever happened to her in her childhood is why she is the way she is.

This is probably not going to last.

If you keep holding this frequency for the two of them,

Which was love,

Then love would prevail.

Light would prevail.

And ultimately that is what happened.

I really just want to make it clear that we're not supposed to get stuck.

That even though I talk a lot about narcissists,

I talk about narcissists from the perspective of they're going to cause you to follow them down rabbit holes.

And if you're not aware of the mind game,

If you're not aware of how your ego might follow that other ego down the rabbit hole,

You're stuck.

And you can get stuck on that Ferris wheel for years,

For decades,

And for a lifetime.

And so even though I talk a lot about narcissists per se and being raised by a narcissistic parent and codependency,

It's from the perspective of trying to infuse you with this idea that the power is within you.

And being raised by a narcissist,

Being married to a narcissist,

Being engaged to a narcissist,

And going back and forth with the narcissist keeps you stuck at their level of consciousness,

At ego consciousness.

And once you get that,

Then you understand why it doesn't make any sense to argue with a narcissist,

Why it doesn't make any sense to complain about a narcissist,

Why narcissists need to be who they are.

And your job is to recognize who they are and to figure out how to not follow their train of thought and not to allow them to brainwash you into their operation or their data operation.

One of the things that my son's ex-wife did was she told him what a negative person he was all the time.

So she was brainwashing him.

She would put him down all the time.

So she made him feel not good enough.

So he was drinking that Kool-Aid.

And yet,

As my son started to come up through the veil and he started to challenge what she was thinking,

He was coming out of her state of consciousness,

Her ego consciousness,

Her need to control him.

He was coming out of it.

And as he began to resonate with a higher state of consciousness,

He was able to push that voice back.

And ultimately,

He found his true voice.

He was enough.

And anybody who loves you,

Really,

Really loves you wouldn't speak to you that way.

And so he was able to reach the third level of consciousness where he was able to break the patterns and break the spell.

So yes,

We do talk a lot about narcissism.

We do talk a lot about narcissistic abuse.

But from the perspective of dear one,

It is like living in the matrix.

When you've been raised by a narcissistic parent,

They have brainwashed you to believe that you are not good enough.

They have brainwashed you out of being in touch and in contact with your authentic self.

And I hope that what you hear from me is that there is a pathway to the higher self,

And that pathway is a conscious healing path.

It is through the elevation of consciousness.

It is through mental skills like self-inquiry and meditation and self-observation and going within and developing a quiet heart and going shutty-shutty,

Meaning looking within,

Saying nothing,

And observing your mind from a higher state of consciousness and operating with the intention to break free of the patterns that keep you tethered to the past and detached from your true self.

I so hope that you recognize that you have the potential to live a truly powerful,

Conscious life,

Free from worrying about what other people think about you and unencumbered by the faulty beliefs of the past.

I really hope that that's what you are receiving when you come here and you listen to this information.

Dear one,

You are enough,

And everyone on the planet is a facet of you,

Just in a different state of consciousness.

And that's why the biblical story that is so popular,

You,

The one who has never sinned,

The one who has never been critical,

The one who has never been judgmental,

The one who has never been unkind,

You throw the first stone.

When you develop humility and you develop the ability to live with integrity,

And you really are impeccable with your word,

As they say,

Right?

When you develop that ability and that desire,

You look within and you realize you are not blameless.

No one is completely ever blameless.

That doesn't mean that you haven't been wounded by other people.

It just means that we're all human.

And when we can push past this need to punish other people and to remember,

And when we recognize that trauma keeps us stuck,

And trauma is even a state of consciousness.

And when we recognize that trauma will cause us to isolate,

It will cause us to distrust ourselves,

It will cause us to distrust others,

And we really look at trauma as a state of consciousness,

Then we can develop the mental skills to help us elevate our consciousness,

Learn how to get in touch with our true self,

And we can learn to trust the self.

And in time,

We get to learn how to trust our intuition.

So we always feel safe.

So I'm free to let people in and let people go.

So I have nothing to fear.

So thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much for being you.

And thank you so much for choosing to heal your life in this lifetime.

Namaste,

Everybody,

As a bow to the love and light that is absolutely in you.

Until next time.

Reviews

Lisa talks so much sense and she speaks from the heart. Thank you Lisa. I'm looking forward to your next words of wisdom..Namaste 🙏🏼🕊️🌷🤍🌞❤️‍🩹