Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.
My name is Lisa A.
Romano.
I am a life coach,
Bestselling author,
YouTube vlogger,
Meditation teacher,
And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.
I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.
My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.
May your heart feel blessed,
Your mind feel expanded,
And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.
So today we're going to be talking about old paradigms and new paradigms in the meantime.
And I believe it's an important understanding to walk away with because the world is dualistic,
Your mind is dualistic,
You are dualistic.
You are both conscious and subconscious at the same time.
You are both spirit and human at the same time.
You are both universal and earthly at the same time.
You are an earth being,
But you're also a star creature.
When I mean a star creature,
I mean that you have come from the stars.
That when a star imploded many,
Many millions or perhaps billions of years ago,
When a star implodes,
Everything that's within that star that is heavy and has mass to it falls to planet earth.
And those elements eventually become us,
Become starfish,
Become animals on land,
Animals in the sea,
Animals in the air.
It's really,
Really fabulous.
These elements also become what trees become,
What grass become,
And waterfalls and peacocks and hummingbirds.
And it's just fabulous to think that the same stuff that's in a star is in you.
Pretty amazing.
And so what we're trying to do is we're trying to understand this process of transformation,
This idea of an old paradigm or an old self or the Old Testament,
Who I used to think I was compared to the New Testament,
Compared to who I know I am,
Compared to the meantime experience where I was coming out of the shell and I knew that I was vulnerable and knew that I felt raw.
We all know the story about lobsters that when lobsters outgrow their shell and it gets too tight,
They need a new shell and they're becoming bigger lobsters.
They have to back out of the lobster shell that they're in.
And what they'll do is during that time,
They know that they're vulnerable.
They're so smart.
And so they hide.
That's their meantime.
And they're awaiting the new paradigm.
And so those of us who are going through awakenings and shifts,
It's sort of similar to us.
And lots of times these shifts occur after we've dated a narcissist or after some major life event,
Maybe someone that we love has passed away.
But our old paradigm just doesn't fit anymore.
Like the old lobster,
The shell doesn't fit anymore.
Something no longer makes sense.
It could be a career change.
You could wake up on Monday and think,
Yeah,
I'm supposed to do this.
And by Friday,
You can know for sure like,
Nope,
Not supposed to be doing this.
What happened?
There was a major shift.
And if we zoom out,
We ask ourselves,
In terms of universal energy,
What's happening here?
Well,
There was an old paradigm and that paradigm doesn't fit anymore for whatever reason,
It doesn't fit anymore.
And I am in my meantime,
And I am now approaching a new paradigm.
Now,
Here's the thing about a new paradigm.
You have to create it.
That's why it's not there yet.
And when do you create it?
Well,
You create it in your meantime.
But a lot of people are upset about the meantime,
Because their ego is like,
I want it now,
Like instant gratification.
Like you cell phones with text messaging and email,
You know,
FaceTime and Snapchat and Instagram.
It's like now,
Now,
Now,
Now,
Now,
Now,
Now,
We want everything now.
But when it comes to a transformation,
It's not like that.
When it comes to healing from codependency,
It's not like that.
When it comes to healing from narcissistic abuse,
It's not like that.
All of these experiences have to happen over time.
And so when we have a collapse of one reality,
We have an ego death.
You know,
I believed in this narcissist.
I was codependent and I believe that I was good because I catered and I took care of people.
I believe that I was doing the right thing for people.
And now I'm having this ego death.
I'm realizing that I was controlling people by trying to get them to like me,
By trying to get them to think I was a good person.
I was in fear that they would dislike me and ultimately abandon me.
And so I was manipulating a sense of self from them,
A sense of please tell me that I'm good enough.
And I don't like the way that feels.
That's an ego death because in that experience,
You get to change it.
You get to do something different,
Right?
As this happens to us throughout our life,
As we self-reflect and as long as we stay humble and we realize that everybody's imperfect and everyone's soul has come to evolve,
We can learn to embrace this meantime experience where I'm out of my shell.
I'm feeling really vulnerable.
I don't even like myself much because I just discovered this thing about me and it's making me implode and I'm just going to take care of myself through this time period because you will emerge stronger and better,
But it takes time.
Now,
If you think about old paradigms,
Old paradigms are what?
Old paradigms represent subconscious programming.
Well,
What's in this old paradigm?
Anything that you experienced as a child,
Anything that you experienced when you were below the veil of consciousness and you could be 50 and still be below the veil of consciousness reacting to patterns and programs because you haven't yet learned to be the observer.
You can,
But you can never give up.
You have to keep at this work.
The old paradigm represents all of your old beliefs,
All of your old triggers,
All of your old feelings.
The subconscious mind can represent your feeling space.
Your conscious mind,
What is your conscious mind?
Your conscious mind is being streamed this information from the basement,
If you will,
And it is up to you in this space when it reaches the conscious field to up your level of self-awareness to absolutely become the observer so that you can make decisions based on how your ego self feels that are in your best interest.
This is very important.
This is a very important concept to understand.
It's very important to understand that healing requires a dissolving of an old paradigm with the incorporation of a meantime experience,
Which is a paradigm in and of itself,
Paradigm of transformation,
While you manifest the life experiences that you truly wanted to experience.
So everything is a process.
When we are codependent,
We leave one paradigm and as we heal and we learn and we gain knowledge and information,
Then we are actually helping ourselves create an entirely new paradigm.
When it comes to the new paradigm,
Here's the thing.
It's not created yet.
And so this is really,
Really topsy-turvy because to create a new reality and to create a new paradigm,
You have to string it together first.
How do you string it together?
Well,
You have to wake up and focus on what you do want versus on what you don't want.
That's number one.
And then what you could do is you could write down the things that you feel or sense your mind and body wanting to experience.
And then you want to do some legwork.
You want to make sure that you a little bit every day you're acting towards those goals.
So if part of your new paradigm is a new relationship,
Part of your paradigm is a beach house or part of your paradigm is a career change,
Whatever it is,
You want to make sure that every single day you're moving towards that new reality.
When you do this,
You're actually stringing together a new paradigm.
So it's sort of like you're a train and you're conducting the train.
So you're the conductor.
But in order for you to experience a new track and maybe take you from New York to Los Angeles,
You have to create the track as you go.
The track is not there.
Your new paradigm is not there.
Your new paradigm must be created.
And this is the tough spot because a lot of people don't know how to do it.
And so becoming aware that you're in a paradigm shift,
Becoming aware that the relationship with the narcissist has broken and you're in your meantime and you have to confront the things that scared you most.
You must resolve them.
You must rise to the challenge.
And in doing this in that place,
You are in your meantime.
And as you are in your meantime,
You want to make sure that you are double timing,
Meaning you are also imagining the world you want to live in.
You imagine the bed you want to sleep in.
You imagine the relationship that you want to have.
You imagine the type of money you want to make.
You imagine everything,
Right?
And you impress your subconscious mind with this new data that helps to override the old tapes.
But this is truly a spiritual awakening is truly a paradigm shift.
It's truly the old giving way to the old,
You know,
Letting go of the old so that you can manifest the new so that you can experience an entirely new paradigm that empowers you and supports you and helps you believe that you absolutely are enough.
And so I hope that this session has allowed you to appreciate and understand what's happening on the healing path.
And you are in this weird space,
This weird meantime after being abused by someone with high narcissistic traits,
For instance,
That you are in one paradigm.
Now you're in a middle paradigm.
And in this middle paradigm,
You have to be very,
Very careful because you need to continue to think about what you do want versus what you don't want for the future.
Namaste,
Everybody.
Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for being here.
