Episode Thirty-Three: The Byte-Mickla Littlefoot

Mickla's experience as a Marine in the Middle East was life-changing. In this byte-sized episode, hear how a solitary moment under a star-kissed sky in the desert opened her eyes-and became her miracle.

Transcript

But then I have to sit with myself and say,

Why are you reacting that way to somebody else's lived experience?

That's their experience.

And I think for me,

One of the ways in which I am choosing to go forward is like,

I'm okay with your lived experience.

Don't try to take mine away as a female woman in the world.

I will fight you for it.

How did you decide to join the military?

I'm so curious.

I wanted to serve.

So originally I was going to I wanted to become a Foreign Service Officer,

You know,

Fascinated by being able to serve,

But also get to travel and go to different countries.

I mean,

There was an ulterior motive,

Let's be real.

But it was like,

Okay,

Two birds with one stone.

I can serve my country.

But then I can also,

You know,

Maybe I'll get posted to,

You know,

Spain or Paris,

You know,

France or somewhere fabulous,

Understanding that I'd also get posted to,

You know,

The backwater someday.

I might end up in Kazakhstan or something.

But you got to take what the,

You know,

The supposedly good with the bad.

Everything has its ups and downs.

At the time,

I didn't have my citizenship.

So in order for you to be a Consular Officer,

You have to be a citizen.

I talked to somebody and they were like,

My options were what do I do now?

Like,

This is what I want to do,

But I can't do it until my citizenship comes through.

And it was in the making a couple more years after after that.

So I said,

You know what,

In the meantime,

I wasn't working at the time.

I had gotten laid off.

So I finished off.

I was finishing off my degree.

Like,

You know what,

I'll join the military.

It'll give me kind of that cred of a military background to then go to the Consular Service,

But you know,

And also get a paycheck.

The Marines in their uniforms look badass.

And when I called all the different services because my brother had gone to the Air Force,

I was like,

I called his recruiter.

He never got back to me.

I wasn't even really aware of the Marines that much.

It was I was going to school or leaving my campus one day and then I ran into this dude in his fabulous uniform and took his card and got in touch with him.

So I ended up in the Marines.

In your email,

You made mention of this kind of transcendent experience that you had while you were in Afghanistan.

Iraq.

Yeah,

I'm sorry,

Iraq.

First of all,

I'd love to hear about that experience.

But did that also shift your your understanding and belief in your place in the universe?

I think it did.

And so how how that happened.

So this base was a huge base,

Like to get from one side of the base to the other.

You had to get on a vehicle like there was no walking it.

I think from where we live to where the chow hall was like a mile,

Mile long walk.

So some people were lucky to have vehicles in the middle of summer when it was one hundred and some degrees and you had to go to the chow hall in the middle of the day.

Some of us just chose not to eat lunch because we wasn't trying to go on that walk.

But one of the beautiful things about being there,

It's like people think that you're always you're kind of always on on guard,

But not to the extent everybody's not on guard the same way.

If you're not on guard duty looking out,

You're not going to be at that same level of alertness.

So at night,

You know,

You're coming from chow evening chow.

Usually there's a group of people.

Nobody ever really walked alone.

It was rare to see somebody walking like strolling alone.

It was like if they were walking alone,

They were walking at a brisk pace because they had to get back somewhere.

But if you saw like two or three or four people,

Usually they're walking a lot slower because they're finished with probably work for the day.

They're heading back to do something,

Maybe go to the gym or go back to their their birthing or whatever.

Occasionally,

Late at night,

You know,

If you can't sleep or even if you just don't want to be around people,

That was the beautiful thing.

You could just take a walk.

And,

You know,

It's always like,

Don't go too far.

You know,

There's the third country National Guard.

You don't know,

You know,

You're a girl.

Things can happen.

And it doesn't necessarily mean it's one of the third country nationals that can be doing the thing.

You walked around with an M16 all the time.

So it's not like you were just walking along arm swinging.

No,

I had a M16 slung all the time.

There was a magazine carrier on the buttstock of it.

So if I needed to,

I probably could take the magazine,

Load it in and unload some rounds.

But you were you weren't supposed to put your magazine in unless directed to.

But you had it at all times.

So there was that aspect of always being basically armed and ready to respond in a fight.

And then you're walking in the moonlight,

Looking at the different buildings in the distance.

And after a couple of times and then you'd see the sunsets.

Oh,

My God.

The sunsets and sunrises were magnificent.

And you probably experienced some of it being in the desert area.

Like those sunsets,

Like if you've never experienced it before,

It was like,

Wow,

This is,

You know,

The colors,

You know.

And then depending on if there was a sandstorm or something,

You might get like a really red sunlight sunset going into purple.

So that was,

You know,

And it was just like when you were there,

Like if you spent any time in Iraq in a firm base and a firm base is one that's just more fortified.

So it's less likely to be attacked because they got guns on the walls ready for people.

So if you spent any time in a firm base like that and you did not stop to take in the sunrise or sunset or just the twinkle into the stars.

I don't question your humanity.

But after a while,

You start you do contemplate your place in the universe because the universe actually it looks it seems closer.

I think maybe it's because of where you are in the world.

There's not that light pollution.

So it really does feel like you could reach up and touch the black velvet sky.

It really did feel like that.

And you would reach up and you can't touch it.

But it felt like that.

I just remember it was one like moonlit,

Not moonlit,

It was one new moon,

But it was still so bright because the stars were so close.

You know,

From my time there,

The sunsets,

The sunrises,

The dark,

You know,

When the moon was full to when there was no moon.

It was just like,

Are we alone here in the universe?

And when you see that,

It's like these are the stars we can see.

And this is our universe,

You know,

With the Milky or our galaxy,

The Milky Way galaxy.

But the Milky Way galaxy is part of,

You know,

A supercluster,

Which is then part of,

You know,

Another cluster in this whole big universe.

And I'm like,

We're not alone.

And I'm like,

We're not alone and whoever's out there isn't coming to greet us because we ain't ready yet.

I missed that sky and I got it.

I was so incredibly fortunate to then be on a ship in the middle of the Pacific and Indian Ocean and experience that big full moon and sitting there like,

Are we alone?

We're not alone.

It also influenced that.

So this big God of ours,

Right?

There's only one way to pray to him.

He made the moon so it could look so pretty.

And then the stars.

And then he made us all smart that we're on this big vessel in the middle of the Pacific.

But there's only one way to.

And,

You know,

It's like one of the it's like those thoughts you have,

Kind of like those one off.

You're like,

Some ways it right.

It doesn't sit right with you and you go back to observing the pretty sky and just because it's one of those thoughts that.

If you sit with it too long,

It starts disturbing your spirit in a way.

So it's just like,

You know what,

I'm going to go back to looking at the pretty moon or the pretty stars or what have you.

But once you've had it,

You can't let go of it.

And then as I went on and,

You know,

I got more into my studies and like I said,

It was one it's like it's building kind of like a little part.

You know,

You take the little Lego blocks and you put it together and you build something bigger.

So it's kind of like I feel like my journey from Jesus freak because I back in my teenage early 20s,

I was a Jesus freak.

I would have I would proudly have claimed it.

You know,

I was a holy roller,

You know,

But that was then.

Now I'm more of a I don't know.

I don't know what in terms of faith and spirituality.

I'm not sure how or what to describe myself.

I think I'm still on my journey of really deciding what I am there.

But I just know that one,

We're not alone to that.

Whatever the creator,

The creative spirit that brought us all into being.

I feel it leans are feminine because I feel like the creative spirit is definitely female leaning.

And I'm still on part of my journey,

I guess.

Think about like maybe the nomadic tribes in the desert who wander underneath a big beautiful moon.

Why would they ever want any other belief system than they would they have and the life they live?

Who are we to go in there and tell them that their perception is wrong,

That ours is the best one?

I would hope to get to a place where I am more accepting of people's differences because I don't think I'm fully there yet.

There's there's certain areas in the in just human beings where I'm just like,

I don't know.

That seemed like a little crazy.

But then I have to sit with myself and say,

Why are you reacting that way to somebody else's lived experience?

That's their experience.

And I think for me,

One of the ways in which I am choosing to go forward is like I'm OK with your lived experience.

Don't try to take mine away as a female woman in the world,

Female born woman identified as my experience in the world.

I will fight you for it.

I will also fight for you to have your own existence,

You know,

As whatever you identify or however you describe yourself.

And I think,

You know,

That's what the creator wants of us.

It's a journey.

Just to believe it's a journey and it's something that I do have to sit with sometimes that your way is not the best way.

And it's but it's also it's not the only way because I'm a Virgo and apparently Virgos tend to be very my ways the best way.

And I'm like,

I'm not like that.

And,

You know,

My therapist had to let me know that I was wrong in my head that I might want to rethink that point of view.

I know,

But Virgos get stuff done.

It's a true story.

Virgos get stuff done.

I mean,

Look at Beyonce.

She's a Virgo.

Michael Jackson was a Virgo.

This has been episode 33 of Bite Sized Blessings,

The podcast all about the magic and spirit that surrounds us.

If only we open our eyes to it.

I need to thank my charming guest today,

Mikla Littlefoot,

For sharing her story with me,

As well as the creators of the music used.

Music L.

Files,

Chilled Music,

Frank Schroeder,

Raphael Crux,

Evan McLeod,

Music Hald,

And Joel Lopez.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to authors,

Music and change makers I think will lift and inspire you.

Thank you for listening.

And usually at the end,

I make a request of you.

Some way to be like the guest I've just interviewed.

But with this episode,

I'd like to leave with a quotation that Mikla has said has changed her life.

The quotation is from the Bhagavad Gita.

Chapter two,

Verse 20.

The soul is neither born,

Nor does it ever die.

Nor having once existed,

Does it ever cease to be.

The soul is without birth,

Eternal,

Immortal and ageless.

It is not destroyed when the body is destroyed.

So I guess here's my one request.

Live with this idea that the soul is eternal and you will never cease to be.