Episode Sixty-Four: The Byte-Sascha Guinn Anderson

Sascha self describes herself as a Radical Christian-and that's after being an atheist. As a child she saw lights around others-this scared her, and after the loss of her beloved grandfather, she stopped believing. In this shorter episode hear how her path led her back to where she is supposed to be.

Transcript

I get to interview a special friend today,

Sasha Gwynn Anderson,

Who describes herself as a mother,

Goat milker,

Corn grower,

Word writer,

And radical Christian.

I first met her when I started my internship with the Faith Network for Immigrant Justice,

Which works to solve issues around immigrant detention,

Helps educate communities about immigration issues,

Tries to create just immigration laws,

Among many other social justice projects.

Sasha is a fierce advocate on many fronts,

But it was really witnessing her work with the Faith Network that really opened my eyes as to how one individual could have such a positive impact.

On her Twitter feed,

There's a quotation from Arundhati Roy that encompasses just a part of what drives Sasha.

There's really no such thing as the voiceless.

There are only the deliberately silenced or the preferably unheard.

Sasha is trying to give a voice for those who are silenced,

Who are deliberately ignored or unheard,

And she's passionate and a resolve.

I think you'll absolutely hear that in this interview.

It was such a pleasure to talk with her.

And now,

Episode 64 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

And I even,

When I was a kid,

Bought at a Bible store these things called testaments,

And they're literally mints that have like a cross on them.

And when somebody asks you for a mint,

You're supposed to hand them the mint and then give them your testimony.

But I just ate all the mints.

And I was reading the Rachel Held Evans book,

And she started talking about miracles,

And she started talking about the miracle of childbirth,

And then she starts talking about faith.

It's so funny because growing up in the Baptist church,

Everybody's,

You're called to share your testimony,

Share your testimony with people.

And I even,

When I was a kid,

Bought at a Bible store these things called testaments,

And they're literally mints that have like a cross on them.

And when somebody asks you for a mint,

You're supposed to hand them the mint and then give them your testimony.

But I just ate all the mints.

Like I didn't do anything with them.

I just ate all of them.

Because I was like,

This is crazy.

Like,

I'm not going to like start talking to people about my 12-year-old testimony or whatever.

And I certainly like would never describe what I'm going to describe to you as like a testimony.

But it is,

For me,

The kind of return to faith was really miraculous because I grew up really loving the Episcopal church.

And I'm really glad that I came of age when I did,

That I returned to it at the age of 12,

Because that was a really good time for me to kind of inquire and have a stable spiritual background because a lot of the messages I was getting then were that I was sinful or that I was going to go to hell.

And I have OCD and so a lot of that scrupulosity really sinks in where you really become very afraid of hell.

And so I then grew out of my faith and became an atheist.

And my grandfather,

Who really raised me,

I mean,

He was really the only kind of positive male influence that I had in my life.

And I lived with them off and on.

And so he died.

And he was also my confirmation sponsor.

He's also the person who sort of brought me to the Episcopal church.

And he had all these books about Anglicanism and like,

He would always get into these spiritual debates with our rector.

And he was just like a big thinker,

But he always like returned to the Episcopal church.

And so he passed.

And when he died,

I was just absolutely gutted.

It all happened really quickly.

He was 67 years old.

He was still really young and I didn't believe in God.

And so we were there in this church where I'd been baptized,

Where my parents had been married,

Where I'd been confirmed with him as my confirmation sponsor.

And I'm dressed on black and I'm mourning and I'm sitting there thinking like,

I don't believe in God.

There's nothing here.

There's no like afterlife belief.

There's no,

And I,

Not just,

I didn't believe in God,

But I didn't really believe in anything.

I didn't have a spiritual system at all.

And I was 21,

I guess at the time or like 20 about turn,

About to turn 21.

And I just didn't have anything.

And I remember feeling really sad about it.

Not that I was going to change my mind,

But just like a little,

Not a little,

But a lot sad.

And then a year later I was trying to think of something to do for the anniversary of his death.

And so I decided I would go back to St.

John's,

The church,

You know,

That had been this special place for us.

You know,

Even the smell like really reminded me of him.

And so I went back and I stood in the back.

There was a new priest there who was not the priest of my childhood.

And I was like,

Okay,

We'll give this guy a chance.

And he preached this sermon about how Christ's death did not absolve us of doing good works,

That there was sort of this like idea of either faith or works.

Right.

And so it wasn't that he died so that we didn't have to do good works,

But rather that in dying,

He sort of freed us up to do good works.

But like we could actually now do works that weren't born out of fear because we didn't have that fear anymore,

But that we could now do works that were of acts of goodness.

And I was like,

Oh,

Okay,

That makes sense because I always wondered why we were sort of set up to fail,

Why we were sort of like made sinful and then sort of set up for like thousands of years until this guy came.

I mean,

Was it our fault that we were made this way?

I mean,

I guess if you go back to like Adam and Eve,

Okay.

It always felt like a trap to me.

And so like hearing it explained this way,

Felt a little less like a trap.

And I was like,

Okay,

I don't believe in God right now,

But this guy maybe knows what he's talking about.

And so I'm going to come back and listen to him because I find him to be interesting.

So I came back to listen and I started becoming a regular churchgoer,

But I was still an atheist.

But it was like this weird muscle that I was working on.

And so in just coming back,

This very routine,

Basic kind of monotonous sort of thing,

I just returned to faith.

And the miracle is that it wasn't like a come to Jesus moment.

It wasn't a bright flash of light,

Which I had had.

Like I have a lot of those experiences from when I was younger.

And I guess maybe those are miracles in a way,

But in a lot of ways they scared me.

But this was just like an exercise plan or something.

It was like,

I just came back every Sunday and I listened to this guy.

His name was Dwight Hel.

I listened to him and I thought like,

He's not trying to trap me.

He's not trying to trick me.

He's not trying to guilt me.

And it's the Episcopal church who knows maybe 20% of the people sitting there were also atheists.

You don't like get an ID check at the door.

The fact that I continue to be faithful or full of a belief in God.

And that's the other thing.

Belief in God is in and of itself miraculous because it doesn't make any fucking sense.

It doesn't make any sense.

It's just like having kids,

Like having kids doesn't make any sense.

You can't explain it.

I mean,

People who try to do these like logical explanations of their faith or like argue with people who are atheists over why they should believe or why they shouldn't believe.

It's like,

It's absolutely ridiculous because the miracle is that you believe in something and it doesn't,

I'm not just saying that as a Christian or even as an Abrahamic faith in any faith that anyone believes in,

Right?

It's absolutely a miracle because there's nothing logical that ties you to that faith.

But you keep coming back to it.

It's the same as with parenthood.

Like you keep coming back every day,

Even though it makes no sense.

It's all totally messed up.

You know,

Like it just is so wild.

And I would never argue with someone that me having faith isn't just absolutely whack-a-doodle because it is.

Thank you so much for listening to episode 64 of Bite Sized Blessings,

The podcast all about the magic and spirit that surrounds us,

If only we open our eyes to it.

I'm so grateful to the intentional and intelligent Sasha Gwyn Anderson for finding time in her busy schedule to give me this interview.

For more of an example of just who Sasha is in the world,

Visit her Twitter feed at Sasha Gwyn.

There you'll find sentiments that express just who she is.

Her dedicated and resolved voice is all about lifting others up.

I need to thank the artists who created the music for this episode as well.

Frank Schroeder,

Taiga Sound Productions,

Alexander Nakarada,

Music L-Files,

Klaus Appel,

And Sasha End.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to other people,

Artists,

Books,

And music I think will lift and brighten your day.

Thank you for listening,

And here's my one request.

Be like Sasha.

Be the witness for those who have no voice,

And then use your own voice to lift them up.

Yeah,

It's.

.

.

I just.

.

.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry.

You know it's going to open the door too,

So it's like I can't get away from him.

I'm sorry.

Is he singing?

He's singing.

Oh my God.

How long did it take him to learn how to open the door?

Not very long.

They kind of push open,

But if I lock it,

Then they'll just bang on the door,

And it's actually a lot louder than.

.

.

Okay.

Oh my God.

Sorry.

No,

No.

That's so fine.

That was.

.

.

I had the perfect bird's eye view to watch your dog open the door,

And I was like.

.

.

I was totally expecting one of your kids,

And then a dog walks in the door,

And I was like.

.

.

What just happened?