Episode Fifty-Five: The Interview-Stephanie Alia

Stephanie has a gift-one that she's had to work hard to come to terms with. In this episode we talk ghosts, spirits and the special kind of Catholicism that New Mexicans sometimes have. We also talk tarot-Stephanie is a gorgeous creator of several tarot decks, each of which sells out almost immediately.

Transcript

When I was little,

I always felt protected.

And I would see ghosts in the old apartment we lived.

But I think it was the 1940s.

But it was weird.

They were walking and they didn't realize they were dead.

They were just still doing what they were doing.

And it's like,

That's really bizarre.

So one time late at night,

I was sleeping on the couch and I was like,

I'm scared.

And I was crying to myself and I said,

I'm scared.

And all of a sudden I felt this gentle hand like pat me.

And I knew I was safe.

So I think in the realm of human beings,

There's the part that we project of what we do.

I'm kind of tempted to ask what I am as a spirit,

Because I feel like they're two totally different things.

As a person,

I'm creative,

Fun-loving.

But I can also be like,

I'm an ambivert.

So I'm extroverted and introverted.

I like to be creating.

I feel the most secure and empowered in myself when I'm creating.

I would say as a spirit,

I'm very inquisitive.

I'm like a cat.

So if I'm like,

What is this thing?

And most people are like,

Don't mess with that.

It will burn you.

And I'm like,

But what is that experience?

So because I'm so curious,

I get into things that probably most people would not.

And I think my spirit is kind of the explorer,

Right?

The pioneer,

Like,

What is this thing?

How does it work?

And I think there is a very scientific component as to how my spirit moves through life.

And it's kind of like,

Let's learn as much as we can.

I feel like life and this experience is about being a student.

So I love creating.

I like making things for other people to enjoy.

And I really enjoy making divination tools to help people based off of experiences that I've had in my life.

But I also love learning about magic and spirituality.

And I feel like that never ends.

So there's the perseverance.

And that,

Instead of being afraid of the unknown,

I think it intrigues me.

Yeah,

The unknown to me,

It's like,

I want to know.

I don't want to live my life in ignorance,

Right?

And you can't live your life in fear.

So a lot of the work I did was like mastering fear.

And instead of it ruling me,

Feeling it as a physical sensation,

Breathing through it,

Figuring out what led me to be afraid of things,

And then realizing it's OK to be afraid of some things,

But you can't be afraid of everything.

And I think,

Like,

Culturally and socially,

We're taught to be kind of a fear-based society.

And so shedding that has been a really interesting process.

And that's what I think is the most important thing to us.

And the more I shed it,

The more I evolve as a person.

And things that I was told to be afraid of when I was younger are actually ending up being the things that are the most loving and protecting and that are getting me closer to my path and giving me the answer that I've been looking for,

Which is really interesting.

I do want to let everyone know.

Can you talk about your tarot decks?

I have the dream deck,

Which was based off of.

So when I was 15 years old,

I read Carlos Casaneda's books.

I was really curious when he was doing,

Like,

Astral projection and lucid dreaming if what he was talking about was actor fiction.

And this is what I mean about,

Like,

The very curious part of me.

I was like,

OK,

Let's practice these techniques,

Right?

I started practicing,

Like,

The hand technique,

Where you look at your hands,

You look up,

And then you look back down at your hands because your dream attention is very brief.

It's like an atrophied muscle,

Basically,

Because we're not taught to work within those realms.

We're taught that,

Oh,

Don't take these realms seriously.

People say they don't exist.

Or if you're even interested in them,

They say you're crazy.

So there's a lot of stigma about working with those kind of things.

So on my own,

When I was 15,

I started working on it by myself.

And I remember I was taken to my grandmother's house because you have to think of a place where you're safe.

I saw my grandmother's house in the distance with this New Mexico landscape,

And there was a light on in the house.

And immediately,

I was like,

Wow,

This feels very real.

And I was a little bit scared.

It was like,

If something attacks me,

It's going to feel real.

And I was like,

OK,

Let's just get to the house.

So I get to the house.

There's a light on in one of the rooms.

And I start walking to it,

And I realize,

If you go into that room,

You're going to learn something about yourself.

And are you ready for that?

And a part of me got so scared.

I was like,

I am not ready for that yet.

I run out of the house,

And I'm running,

And then I start flying.

And I fly over what looks like Albuquerque,

And there's a ton of people milling back and forth.

It almost looked like Albuquerque meets New York City.

And I kind of fly and fall in,

And there's this Rastafarian guy next to me.

And he pats my shoulder,

And he says,

It's OK,

Mon.

It's OK.

You're safe now.

You're safe.

And then I went into regular dreaming.

So I was hooked at that point.

So I started doing lucid dreaming,

And the deck is about experiences that I had when I was lucid dreaming.

The multitude of dream themes I would have,

Because they became symbolic kind of prophecies and warnings,

Heads up.

One was fish falling out of a sink,

And I was trying to save all of them,

And they were suffocating,

And I couldn't.

When I'd woken up,

I was at my cousin's house,

And I said,

I think something happened to my fish.

And she's like,

What?

It's like,

Yeah,

I had one of those dreams again.

She's like,

Oh,

I hate those dreams.

They always come true.

And I was like,

I know,

I know.

So I drive to my apartment,

And there was my fish.

It had jumped out of the bowl,

Wrapped itself around lint,

And suffocated,

And died.

If I had to say the foundation of my spirituality would be doing dream work,

Most definitely.

So I took all of that information and all the practices that I did,

And I started making a deck based off of it.

I love the way your mind works,

And I love that you've been able to translate all of these dream visions and messages and stories that you've had while growing up into something that is useful and a beautiful tool for others to self-discover.

That's pretty fabulous.

I'm so curious,

Did you grow up in a religious household?

I'm so intrigued by what your childhood looked like with religion and your family looked like with religion.

Oh,

I'm a total geek.

I brought you visual aids.

So this is me and my grandmother,

And the Santo Nino,

She had in her house,

And I would make velvet robes for it.

Anytime anybody got sick,

We'd pray in front of it,

And then she would leave it at their house until they were better,

And then they would return it.

And I don't know if you can see back there,

But that's it.

So it's on my altar with the same brown velvet cloak that I made when I was younger for my grandmothers.

So I have like a history of healers,

Psychics on my father's side,

And then healers on my mother's side.

This was my great-grandmother,

Ma'itha,

And she was a midwife and a healer in Galisteo,

A very powerful woman,

And I was lucky because she blessed me when I was a baby.

Yeah,

I mean,

Spirits,

Seeing spirits,

Like it's a very common thing with people in my mother's side of the family.

My father's side has a different type of psychic ability,

And they also can see stuff too.

It's just very different.

I think that what I've noticed from,

And I don't think it's particular to New Mexico,

But I'll just use that because that's my example.

Like different New Mexican families have like different abilities,

In my opinion.

My mother's like the very healing and let me help you,

I want to take care of you kind of a thing.

And then my father's is like,

They can see stuff,

But you know,

Everything.

So my mother's stuff is a lot of light work.

My father's side of the family can see,

It's kind of hard to say,

Like positive spirits versus ones that are not so positive and in between.

When I was little,

I was already seeing stuff,

But I kept it to myself because I realized like that wasn't the norm.

And then as I got older,

Both sides of the family would talk and say,

I saw this and I saw this,

And it's like,

Oh,

I really wish we would have all talked about it.

And now it's okay too,

Right?

But I think everyone was afraid.

There was a night before my cousin Loretta's birthday and I was doing ritual and I was so tired and I fell asleep and she visited me in a Fiesta dress,

Which was really big in New Mexico culture.

And she loved Fiestas and we had had a really interesting conversation one time.

Cause when I was younger,

I was as atheist,

Which is really interesting.

I was atheist,

I was like,

I don't believe in,

You know,

And I did,

But I think it was my rebellion,

Like of this stuff is so much a part of my life,

I don't want it to be.

And I remember I was like,

You know,

Kind of jaded and I was younger and you know,

She's like,

You don't believe in God?

I was like,

No,

I don't.

She's like,

You don't believe in any of it?

And I was like,

No.

And she started crying.

She's like,

That makes me really sad.

And so in this like visitation slash dream,

She said,

I just wanted to tell you that God does exist.

And then she started glowing and she was like,

I'm living in that glory that I was telling you about.

It's like,

You remember that conversation?

I was like,

I almost completely forgot about it.

And she's like,

It exists.

I just wanted to tell you that.

It was beautiful and like,

Oh,

It just like hit me.

And so I had called my mom because it was so intense and my mom was like,

Okay.

And then she called Angela and it turns out Angela,

Lawrence and other family members had either had a dream or saw like something in the house that night.

And then they were like,

Guess what tomorrow,

Like the next day was,

It was her birthday.

In my family,

People see stuff like that and we've talked about it and it doesn't feel weird anymore.

So then I find it comforting.

And I used to be scared of it when I was little.

And now I'm like,

It's a whole other adventure.

So I'm like,

Okay,

I'm gonna go back to my mom.

You were talking about Santo Nino before.

So is your family Catholic?

Yeah,

So my family is Catholic,

But I also am realizing depending where in the States you live,

Where in the country,

Like what region you live like that,

You're different.

And I think the Catholicism that my family practice,

They would be like witchcraft,

It would freak people out.

They're like,

You're worshiping a small doll,

Which can be considered an idol.

And the saints,

The empowering figures are female.

So that comfort in the feminine,

Which I think for me gravitating towards like Tara,

The bodhisattva Tara,

It wasn't that big of a jump for me because I feel safe and the same with Kali,

Even though that Kali can kind of scare other people.

But to me,

It's their divine fierce mothers that protect their children.

That's how I view them.

I do have to say when I walked the Camino in 2013,

I walked this really remote kind of strange route that most pilgrims didn't take.

So it took me through some really small and very kind of isolated villages.

And of course there's some bigger cities and every once in a while I get to the church that was the main church of that town or that city and they would have a black virgin.

Instead of being appalled or scared and thinking,

Oh,

How strange this is,

Those black virgins were so powerful and so intense.

It's kind of like they embodied midnight and the void and all possibility.

They were just terrible and beautiful to look upon.

I agree with you.

And I,

From all of my experiences and I've really got into like different spiritualities and religion,

Which was,

I mean,

I went through the whole gamut and that divine mother,

Yeah,

The black Madonna,

The black Tara,

Like is so powerful and so loving and kind.

And I became so drawn to that.

And honestly I can feel it.

I'm like,

This is my fit.

This is my deity.

They're my deities I feel the closest to that I gravitated to and have alters to and tattoos to.

And I'm absolutely in love with them,

100%.

Sorry.

When I had Eats in,

I almost died.

And there was a moment of like,

Very literally as I was going under it was like a mile a minute and it was my life and then my regrets I knew I loved them.

And I would see people that I knew,

And they would do quirky things,

Like to cheer other people up.

And it was breaking my heart because I was like,

Oh my gosh,

They're never gonna know how special they are.

They're never gonna know how much I love them.

And that thing they do is so special and it makes them them.

And so it's like,

God,

All these people that I love and I hope they know how much I love them.

Like they were all important.

That broke my heart.

At the time I didn't travel a lot.

I was like,

Oh,

You don't have the money to do it.

Why would you even try?

And that's not what got me.

What got me,

It was,

You could have tried.

You could have made an effort.

You could have found a way.

You didn't try hard enough.

And that's where the regret came in.

So then after that experience,

I immediately started traveling like crazy.

And you know that about me.

I'm just like constantly like,

What new city,

What new country?

And so even if I,

Which I won't get to see at all,

But whatever I can,

I've made the effort.

And I won't have that level of regret.

But I do think the worst one is when you leave and you're like,

Oh my gosh,

I didn't tell people how much I love them.

Another one is you don't want people to worry.

Like I don't want them to worry forever.

I don't want them to be sad forever.

I want them to know that I love them.

Cause you're more worried about them than what's happening,

Like where you're gonna go.

And I think that's the interesting thing about being human.

Maybe it's different for each person,

But from my experience,

We're more worried about the people we love when we're ready to leave.

And I think it's really important that people don't have regrets in their life.

Like try to live your life to minimize your regret as much as possible because yeah,

Cause that's the thing that comes to haunt you in the end.

You're like,

Oh no,

It's like a telly of everything.

And you're like,

Ooh,

What did I not do?

And what does my heart want the most?

And that's the stuff at the end that hits you.

And so I tell everyone I meet,

I'm like,

Don't squander that,

Figure out what it is.

And that way,

When you do go,

If you gave it your best,

Oh yeah,

I gave it my best.

And then you're like,

Okay,

I'm okay.

I really don't want people to have regret when they leave.

So for me,

I always tell people like,

Love everyone you can,

Be true to your heart,

Make your soul and spirit light,

Love yourself.

You know,

Nobody's perfect,

You know,

And if you're down on yourself and you don't,

The fact that you're here and you're working and you're trying,

You're an amazing being.

You're an immortal,

Infinite soul,

Just cruising around through lifetimes.

Like you are automatically a bad-ass.

And I think the miracle that I've seen is just watching people evolve and thrive and change.

And I think this life is a miracle to be honest.

And I just hope that we all maximize it.

The worker being me is like,

Go to the fullest potential,

Learn as much as you can,

But let's see.

So if I had to say miracles,

I would say dream work is an amazing miracle.

Cause you can face your fear of heights.

If you have issues of empowerment,

You can empower yourself within a dream space.

You know,

I think the biggest thing for me was dealing with fear and seeing like,

You know,

If there was like this terrifying monster,

I'd be like,

Well,

What is this?

Why is my brain creating this thing?

And what does it mean?

And stopping and being,

What are you trying to tell me?

One interesting time when I had a lesson of fear like that,

It looked like a gnome creature at the bottom of my bed.

And it was like,

What the hell is that?

And I was scared,

But I realized,

I was like,

No,

You need to control your body.

Your physiology is basically freaking out.

You're gonna wake yourself up.

This is an important lesson.

And so I like calmed my body.

I said,

Okay,

Fear is a physical feeling.

We're not being hurt.

You're just reacting.

And so as I calmed down,

I looked at this like shadow gnome thing and I looked at it even more and it became less and less threatening.

And it looks something more like a gnome dog,

Which sounds interesting,

But weird.

But it looked bored out of its mind.

It was like,

Oh,

This person,

This human I have to teach that just like never gets it.

It was working its like retail job,

Basically.

Like I was that retail job for this spiritual being.

And it's just,

Here we go again,

They're gonna freak out.

And I was looking at it and it literally was shocked,

Was taken aback and was,

Oh my God,

Did you figure it out?

It's like,

I did.

You're teaching me to not be afraid.

This is a lesson.

Fear is a lesson.

And it looked really hopeful.

And I got so excited,

I woke up.

But I think we have like a variety of spiritual teachers that are literally just like,

Please figure it out.

Why is it taking so long?

And I think Dreamwork is,

If you want the fast track,

Like if you want to Mario tunnel that and skip five levels,

You do Dreamwork and you will just,

You get through it so much faster.

So I always recommend to people like,

Dreamwork is a miracle,

Dive into it.

And especially if you're a creative person,

It's just an infinite well of creative material and you get to evolve,

So.

LEGO When I was little,

I always felt protected and I would see ghosts in the old apartment we lived,

But it was,

I think it was the 1940s.

But they,

It was weird,

They were walking and they didn't realize they were dead.

They were just still doing what they were doing.

And it's like,

That's really bizarre.

So one time,

Late at night,

I was sleeping on the couch And I was like,

I'm scared.

And,

You know,

When I was crying to myself and I said,

I'm scared.

And all of a sudden I felt this gentle hand like pat me and I knew I was safe,

Right?

And I was like,

Okay,

I'm being looked after.

So this is the positive and problematic thing.

When your energy is very positive,

You will draw in really positive spirits,

Right?

And when I was little,

I went through a really traumatic period.

And so my energetic expression was fear and everything that had happened from that.

So unfortunately that energetic signature was pulling in things that liked fear and the more unpleasant feelings.

And so when it was positive,

It'd be like angelic,

Beautiful beings,

But in fear,

It was these kind of shadow-like,

Oppressive,

Almost parasitic.

Waking up if I was scared and seeing shadows above the bed.

And so at a very early age,

I had to learn to empower myself instead of boundaries.

So if things like that came in,

I was like,

You are not allowed in my energetic space and making it very clear,

Like you're not welcome here.

I do not want things from you.

Yeah,

My family,

I think I got a lineage of just being open to all of it.

It also,

What I also am thinking is,

You know,

You have your dad's side of the family and then you have your mom's side of the family and they came together to create you,

Who's maybe potentially next level.

I think I get like a bit of both,

But I do think it was hard in the beginning because that's a lot,

You know,

One little kid and I didn't have spiritual teachers,

So I had to like get my own equilibrium by myself.

And that's a lot of why I do this too.

I'm like,

I don't want any,

Any of like little mini stuffs out there just struggling and being like,

What is this?

I'm scared.

It's like,

Don't be scared.

You're safe.

And there's other people who are experienced too and will help you develop the tools so they come into it with love and without fear because you do not want to go into anything with fear.

It just attracts too many energies that are just not good.

If I can help other people through my hard lessons and like I'm all for it.

I think one of the things that,

Because I did an interview with a classmate of mine from high school who's also does Tarot and also has had many psychic experiences and it can be a really isolating thing because people either don't understand or you're afraid of confiding in other people.

Judgment,

People are super judgy.

They're ready to be and they're not afraid of being and they're not afraid of being and they're not afraid of being and so you really have to with your gifts,

You really have to choose your friends wisely and carefully.

So I think people don't appreciate that with the power that you have,

There's of course a lot of responsibility but there could also be a lot of isolation and a lot of feeling the need to protect yourself from other people's judgment.

Yeah,

But there's that point though,

When you realize like if you're quiet,

You're not gonna be able to do it.

I think though when you realize like if you're quiet and you don't help other people,

People who are very vulnerable,

Who get scared,

I mean,

There's probably a lot of people who have committed suicide,

You know,

Or fall into major depressions or go into like drug use and it's like if you can put yourself out there and say it out loud and make other people feel safe and comfortable,

That's a huge service and I think like your series is like that,

You know,

It's like you're giving people a platform to speak and you're very respectful and others who are drawn to it or have similar experiences,

If they're afraid to be vocal about it,

They can listen to your podcasts and be like,

I'm not alone,

You know,

And I think that's really important is within these communities,

It's just not everyone has to agree on the same thing,

Not everybody has to get along but I do think as a community,

Like we still fundamentally should be supporting one another and making sure that,

You know,

We don't lose anybody,

Right?

Because there's a lot of amazing spiritual healers out there that are very much needed in the world right now.

Thank you for joining me for episode 55 of Bite-Sized Blessings,

Where I got to interview a very good friend,

Stephanie Alia.

I'm so grateful to her for sharing her wit,

Her wisdom and all things seen and unseen in this world.

She has two seriously groovy tarot decks you should check out,

Her Gothmancy deck,

As well as her Altringa deck.

You can find either of them online or at her Instagram page,

It's hiimproductions and that's spelled E-T-Z-C-H-A-I-M followed by productions.

Her Instagram account is pretty wonderful and wise.

It's filled with art,

Amazing tarot decks from other creators and inspirational urgings that'll make you want to rush out your front door and create a better world for us all to live in.

I need to thank the creators of the music used for this episode,

Chilled Music,

Music L.

Files,

Raphael Crux and Sasha End.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite-Sized Blessings website at bite-sizedblessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to other episodes,

Art,

Change makers and people who are trying to make this world a groovier place.

And as usual,

I have one request.

Be like Stephanie.

What are you afraid of?

What haunts you in the dark recesses of your mind?

Go to sleep and in your dreams,

Confront that fear.

It's really a friend trying to make you better,

Trying to create your best self.

Engage that fear,

Make friends with it,

And then you'll be one step closer to becoming who you're meant to be.

Some people might be like,

Oh,

That's really weird that they're doing that.

But at the end of the day,

They'll see why.

They'll know why.

They'll be like,

Damn,

At the end of our lives,

Like our relationships and connections with one another are the most valuable.

That's the goal in our human experience and our emotions.

That's so funny because lately I've made a practice of,

You know,

When I say goodbye to people like to Elizabeth,

I'm like,

I love you.

Or to various other people,

I'm like,

I love you.

I love you.

And I can tell some of them are like,

Uh,

Am I supposed to say I love you?

Wait,

What?

And it's not meant to make people feel uncomfortable.

It's I want people to know how precious they are in my life.

And I think it's important to let people know how precious they are.