Hi,
I'm Kevin Saker,
And this is from Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling,
And today we're reading the second story,
How the Camel Got His Hump.
So get yourselves ready and all comfortable,
And maybe close your eyes,
And when you're ready,
I shall begin.
How the Camel Got His Hump.
Now this is the next tale,
And it tells how the camel got his big hump.
In the beginning of years,
When the world was so new and all,
And the animals were just beginning to work for man,
There was a camel,
And he lived in the middle of a howling desert,
Because he did not want to work,
And besides,
He was a howler himself.
So he ate sticks and thorns and tamarisks and milkweed and prickles,
Most scruciating idol,
And when anybody spoke to him,
He said,
Humpf,
Just humpf,
And no more.
Presently,
The horse came to him on Monday morning,
With a saddle on his back and a bit in his mouth,
And said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come out and trot like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel,
And the horse went away and told the man.
Presently,
The dog came to him with a stick in his mouth and said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come and fetch and carry like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel,
And the dog went away and told the man.
Presently,
The ox came to him with a yoke on his neck and said,
Camel,
Oh camel,
Come and plow like the rest of us.
Humpf,
Said the camel,
And the ox went away and told the man.
At the end of the day,
The man called the horse and the dog and the ox together,
And said,
Three,
Oh three,
I'm very sorry for you,
We're the world so new and all,
But that Humpf thing in the desert can't work,
Or he would have been here by now,
So I'm going to leave him alone,
And you must work double time to make up for it.
That made the three very angry,
With the world so new and all,
And they held a palaver,
And an indaba,
And a panchayat,
And a powwow on the edge of the desert,
And the camel came chewing on milkweed,
Most excruciating idle,
And laughed at them.
Then he said,
Humpf,
And went away again.
Presently,
There came along the djinn in charge of all deserts,
Rolling in a cloud of dust.
Djinns always travel that way because it's magic,
And he stopped the palaver and powwow with the three.
Djinn of all deserts,
Said the horse,
Is it right for anyone to be idle with a world so new and all?
Certainly not,
Said the djinn.
Well,
Said the horse,
There's a thing in the middle of your howling desert,
And he's a howler himself,
With a long neck and long legs,
And he hasn't done a stroke of work since Monday morning.
He won't trot.
Phew,
Said the djinn,
Whistling,
That's my camel.
For all the golden Arabia,
What does he say about it?
He says,
Humpf,
Said the dog,
And he won't fetch and carry.
Does he say anything else?
Only Humpf,
And he won't plow,
Said the ox.
Very good,
Said the djinn,
I'll Humpf him,
If you will kindly wait a minute.
The djinn rolled himself up in his dust cloak and took a bearing across the desert,
And found the camel most scruciatingly idle,
Looking at his own reflection in a pool of water.
My long and bubbling friend,
Said the djinn,
What's this I hear of your doing no work,
With a world so new and all?
Humpf,
Said the camel.
The djinn sat down,
With his chin in his hand,
And began to think a great magic,
While the camel looked at his own reflection in the pool of water.
You've given the three extra work ever since Monday morning,
All on account of your scruciating idleness,
Said the djinn.
And he went on thinking magics,
With his chin in his hand.
Humpf,
Said the camel.
I shouldn't say that again,
If I were you,
Said the djinn,
You might say it once too often.
Bubbles,
I want you to work.
And the camel said Humpf again,
But no sooner had he said it,
Than he saw his back,
That he was so proud of,
Puffing up,
And puffing up into a great big lolloping humpf.
Do you see that,
Said the djinn,
That's your very own humpf,
That you've brought upon your very own self by not working.
Today is Thursday,
And you've done no work since Monday,
When the work began.
Now you are going to work.
How can I,
Said the camel,
With this humpf on my back.
That's a made a purpose,
Said the djinn,
All because you missed those three days.
You will be able to work now for three days without eating,
Because you can live on your humpf,
And don't you ever say I never did anything for you.
Come out of the desert,
And go to the three,
And behave.
Humpf yourself.
And the camel humpf'd himself,
Humpf and all,
And went away to join the three.
And from that day to this,
The camel always wears a humpf.
We call it humpf now,
Not to hurt his feelings.
But he has never yet caught up with the three days that he missed at the beginning of the world,
And he has never yet learned how to behave.
The camel's humpf is an ugly lump,
Which well you may see at the zoo,
But uglier yet is the humpf we get from having too little to do.
Kiddies and grown-ups,
Too-oo-oo,
If we haven't enough to do-oo-oo,
We get the humpf,
Cameleus humpf,
The humpf that is black and blue.
We climb out of a bed,
With a frowzy head,
And a snarly,
Yarly voice.
We shiver and scowl,
And we grunt and we growl,
At our bath and our boots and our toys.
And there ought to be a corner for me,
And I know there is one for you,
When we get the humpf,
Cameleus humpf,
And the humpf that is black and blue.
The cure for this ill is not to sit still,
Or froused with a book by the fire,
But to take a large hoe and a shovel also,
And dig till you greatly perspire.
And then you will find that the sun and the wind,
And the gin of the garden,
Too,
Have lifted the humpf,
The horrible humpf,
The humpf that is black and blue.
I get it as well as you-oo-oo,
If I haven't enough to do-oo-oo.
Or we get humpf,
Cameleus humpf,
Kiddies and grown-ups,
Too.
Thank you for joining me,
And I hope you come back again soon.
