Noticing An Urge With Compassion

This meditation focuses on relating to an urge without choosing to act on it or fight it. The goal is to better understand the part of you that has this urge with compassion. Even if the urge leads to behaviors that have caused difficulty, the intention behind our urges is protective- to keep you safe, soothed or connected. If we can pause before acting to listen to what is behind the urge, it can often reduce impulsive behaviors or intrusive thoughts. Doing this practice consistently helps your nervous system strengthen the ability to pause, reflect, and eventually act with more intention. This is not a replacement for work with a licensed professional and is best done while working with a therapist. Listen to your level of tolerance and please stop and talk to your therapist if this takes you out of the window of tolerance.

Transcript

Take a moment to settle into a comfortable position. You can close your eyes or just soften your gaze into one area of the room. And take a few deep, Grounding breaths as you begin to turn your attention inward. And see if you can access the part of you that's here today, Just aware of your own experience. The spacious, Authentic, Steady presence that is here to observe without any judgment. You don't need to force anything. And that part of you may not be the biggest part that's here today, But just notice any qualities that do naturally arise when you soften. Notice if you can access the parts that feel a bit more calm, A bit more curious, And a bit more open. And see if you can allow those qualities to expand gently. Now see if you can invite into your awareness an urge that you've been feeling lately. It could be an urge to act, To fix, Avoid, Escape, Indulge or control. Just anything that has been tugging at your attention. You may notice a few competing urges, So perhaps there's a part of you that has an urge to move towards something, While another part's here too that has an urge to avoid it. Maybe there's a part of you that has the urge to blame someone else for your suffering right now, While another part has an urge to blame yourself. As you notice multiple urges present, See if you can notice which one feels the strongest. And just gently direct your attention there. Not because we're choosing to follow that urge. Not because it holds more value than the other. Simply so that we can practice noticing it today. We're not here to obey it or fight it. We're just here to meet the part of you that carries it. So allow the urge to appear in whatever way it naturally shows up, Not forcing it. You could notice some sensations present in your body, Images that pop into your mind, Words or stories, Memories, Maybe even just a felt sense. And just see if you can approach this part of you without any judgment, Allowing yourself to just hold space, Sending the message to this part that, I see you, I'm here with you. And then just notice how this part of you responds. Perhaps it starts to build in intensity, And that's okay. If you can step back just a little bit, Just enough to observe without taking it over. And if it feels faint or shy, Just remind this part of you there's no pressure. We just want to understand it a little bit better. If it feels comfortable, You can see if you might approach this part gently and ask, What is it that you want me to know? Allowing the answer to come in its own time. Perhaps there's words, A feeling, A memory. Whatever arises, Just meet it with curiosity rather than critique. And see if you can listen to the answer with the understanding that this part of you is trying to help you in the only way that it knows how. And see if you can offer this part of you just a moment of genuine gratitude, Gratitude for how hard this part works to try to keep you safe, How hard it works to try to help. Even if the urge leads to behaviors that have been causing you difficulty, Holding the awareness that the intention is protective. This part has been working often for years, Just trying to keep you safe, Soothed or connected. So see if you can let it feel your appreciation. And just notice if anything shifts as you acknowledge the positive intent that comes with this urge. And if it feels right, You could even ask the part, What is it that you really need? Often beneath the urge is a deeper longing for comfort, Reassurance, Rest, Connection, Safety. Perhaps this part just wants to be seen. Let yourself just notice what comes up, Knowing that you don't need to do anything right now. We're just here to witness. And if it feels authentic, Imagine sending some compassion to this part, Just like a warm, Steady presence wrapping around it. Maybe the part that carries this urge can see this nonjudgmental, Observing part of you, Allowing it to know that I'm here with you. You don't have to carry this alone. And see if the part can feel your steadiness. With a few final breaths, Just notice how your whole system feels right now. Noticing doesn't require any judgment, Just awareness. We have no expectation that anything will change. We just want an increased understanding. Perhaps thank this part again for slowing down and allowing itself to be seen, Letting it know that you can return to it any time. Then gently bring your attention back to your breath, To your body, To the room around you as you open your eyes or lift your gaze. And I hope that you can carry with you the understanding that every urge is an invitation. Not to act, But to listen compassionately.