Comforting Difficult Emotions

This meditation focuses on relating to uncomfortable emotions without trying to fix or distract. The goal is to spend time with the discomfort with compassion and care as opposed to trying to "feel better". Doing this practice consistently helps your nervous system relearn that emotions themselves are not a threat and that you are capable of tolerating the discomfort that may come. This is not a replacement for work with a licensed professional and is best done while working with a therapist. Listen to your level of tolerance and please stop and talk to your therapist if this takes you out of the window of tolerance.

Transcript

Find a comfortable position and allow your body to settle.

You can close your eyes or soften your gaze into one area of the room and gently bring your attention inward.

You may notice some discomfort that's already present right now or try to bring to mind a mildly distressing memory or something going on in your life right now.

And just notice where you feel this.

As you bring your attention to the sensation in your body,

See if you can name it gently,

Without judgment.

Is it anger?

Fear?

Disappointment?

Grief?

Longing?

If finding the exact right word is feeling challenging,

Perhaps a more general word resonates,

Like heaviness or uncomfortable.

Just notice the general sense of discomfort.

There's likely more than one emotion that fits,

So just see if you can name the strongest feeling taking your attention,

Allowing it to be light,

Not trapping it,

Just acknowledging it.

Now imagine creating a little more space around the emotion and softening into it.

Perhaps you imagine a gentle cushioning around the emotion,

A sense of a vibration creating space between your body and the emotion.

Or maybe you picture it floating in warm water.

You're not trying to change the emotion,

Just holding it tenderly.

You're not merging with it,

And you are not pushing it away.

And as you hold this emotion,

See if you can add some words,

Imagining how you might comfort a loved one who's in pain and offering yourself a similar message.

You might say something to yourself like,

This is really hard right now.

It makes sense I feel this way.

It's human to experience suffering.

I'm doing the best I can.

I can tolerate this moment.

Perhaps you place a gentle hand on the location where you're feeling the most tension,

Just feeling the warmth and pressure of your touch,

Allowing it to be a physical reminder that you're not alone with this feeling.

Just see if you can allow the discomfort to be here,

Without attaching the urge to make it go away.

If only for this moment,

Allow yourself to be just as you are.

Now you may notice that this emotion has shifted in some way,

Or perhaps it stayed exactly the same.

Either way is okay.

Your job is not to change it,

Just to be present with care,

And to remind yourself that you can tolerate this.

So with our last few breaths,

With each out-breath,

Imagine softening your resistance just a little,

Allowing the feeling to rise and fall in its own time.

And take one last breath,

Anchored in your body,

Anchored in compassion.

And as you are ready,

Just begin to bring your awareness back into the room.

Feel the support beneath you,

The sounds around you,

The air on your skin.

And as you open your eyes or lift your gaze,

Coming back into the room,

Send some gratitude to yourself for being willing just to be with all the parts of yourself.