The Curving Path Of The Goddess: Radiance Sutras Verse 154

During this session, we discuss Verse 154 of the Insight Verses from the 'Radiance Sutras', a translation of the Vijanana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Loche. A meditation follows our discussion.

These sessions are recorded every week, and all are welcome.

Transcript

So today we are reading from the Radiant Sutras. This is a beautiful book written by Lauren Roche and this is a translation of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, An ancient tantric text where the goal of tantra is remembering that we are physical but we are also divine and not in a way that you know we have a divine aspect of ourselves that we are actually the same. It's almost like you could look at us and see the physical aspect of who we are but if you could change your lens then you would only see our divinity but they're all the same. We don't have divine energy flowing through us. We are like it's almost like every cell of your body is this magical essence like it's interesting when you even think of science even you know we can sort of rest or we do rest in the idea that oh we are made of atoms and this is atomic theory and we are made of these tiny little atoms but even when you think of the atom we really don't understand that either because each atom looks like this tiny little solar system of all these little electrons and neutrons and protons and we don't really understand that either that each atom theoretically because it's only a theory is 99% nothingness and so this physical being is made up of all these atoms which are essentially nothing but charged particles well how are they charged where does the charge come from what's that we don't know and so this is atomic theory which is awesome it's a nice theory we can do a lot of interesting science with it but of course the quantum physicists have discovered who are we're not always quantum physicists they were simply scientists who realized that but it doesn't always work atomic theory isn't always right you know it doesn't actually work in all situations which makes you then say well then we have to go back to first principles and say well what if atomic theory isn't even true darn it well that's inconvenient like everything we think we understand about the universe is based on the idea that we're all made of atoms even though we still don't even understand how an atom works at least we can kind of say atom and feel good and we can do all kinds of interesting science that often is true so now suddenly you have the birth of quantum physics because people are like well what's smaller than an atom maybe it's a quanta and this is light but what's light energy we don't know and this is the journey of quantum physics like is it string theory is it this is this unified theory how how does the world really work because we just don't know so it's wild is no matter what part of quantum physics regular physics whatever it all boils down to some strange play of the light some strange play of energy some strange play of something that we don't understand and i could say something like it's magical energy you know i mean that sounds silly but it's kind of in some ways in our minds it's sort of true because it's something we don't understand so the the tantrics the ancient sages said we are divine energy incarnate we are light appearing as physical beings it doesn't mean we aren't real it doesn't mean anything like that but that's essentially all that science knows too that we are light energy appearing physical and that's all we've got and this is the foundation of tantra but we would just they would because it's a spiritual tradition they might call it god brahman shiva shakti regardless it's this all-encompassing energy that creates the universe and we are the manifestation of that energy and this is a really interesting way to live our lives you know imagine you walk down the street and you are conscious of the fact that you are this amazing embodiment something beyond our understanding and then you look at the trees and you realize they too are an embodiment of an energy that we can't understand and then you see a dog and the sky and a boat in the harbor and just everything suddenly becomes this miraculous life this miraculous experience like wow it's all unfathomable to me but it doesn't have to be uncomfortable i love to teach about the masculine and feminine in the world and one of the aspects of balance that's really joyful is the balance of structure and chaos and one of the challenges of the balance of structure and chaos is that because we've lived in a very chaotic difficult world where the structures didn't necessarily serve us we tend to experience life in a very painful chaotic way and what that means is we don't like chaos we don't like mystery we don't like the unknown and so we cling to structure even if it isn't true cling to it like nobody's business because at least it feels safe and that could be a belief system it could be a way of living it could be even if it doesn't work out we will still cling to it because we would rather have the wrong answer but trust it than allow ourselves to flow in chaos and mystery wondering what the truth is so this is a real journey in the tantric path because the reality is the more we allow ourselves to experience the more we realize this is such a wide world with infinite possibilities so we actually have to be able to be comfortable in not knowing and this is a journey this is why the tantric path isn't just oh i read this book and now i totally get it you know because we were all raised in in this world where we were taught almost to find the structure you like and stick with it then you'll have safety i like my disciplined response to chaos i am faithfully and consistently incorrect that's awesome chris oh but imagine that like joyfully allowing yourself to be wrong i actually read that i read that on a little post on facebook this morning somebody said that the speed at which you will learn something new is directly proportionate to how willing you are to be wrong and they find this a lot in people who want to learn foreign languages one of the biggest things that slow down our ability to embrace a foreign language is that we are terrified of speaking and sounding wrong but if we can just allow ourselves to speak like children and get it right get it wrong we will learn at an insane rate and maybe it's the same in tantra the more the more comfortable we are with wow i don't really know as soon as we say i don't really know now we have posed a question to the universe i would love to know and then interesting things come into our lives this is what the foundation of this tantra is all about is returning to that place of even allowing ourselves to have an infinite experience and that's kind of breaking down all the shackles and whatever we learned from the world around us and so that we can go deep inside and experience our true essence that actually has nothing to do with structure or chaos there's like this essence inside of us that is divine and that's actually a lot about what today's sutra is so today we are reading number 154 so even if you have the book it's on page 165 if you don't have the book it's all good but even if you do have the book let's just close our eyes for a moment and just breathing deeply allowing ourselves to flow in that infinite spirit to let ourselves flow in this beautiful wildness that life is and then feel your center maybe you feel it in your heart center maybe you feel it in your whole spinal column maybe you feel it where you're sitting right now whatever your center is let's just feel that close your eyes just breathe deeply breath flows in breath flows out traveling always the curving path of the goddess breath flows spontaneously of its own will thus all breathing beings continually give reverence to her be conscious of this unconscious prayer for she is the most holy place of pilgrimage she wishes for you to enter this temple where each breath is adoration of the infinite for the incarnate form what does that bring up for you what thoughts or feelings or words i appreciate all of this feminine reference holy indeed mm-hmm bliss trust trust the gift of life just breathe life flows through us the breath is the doorway our connection to the divine the power of deep gratitude of life mm-hmm the curving path of the goddess for me is ups and downs of life go to the breath that is where the knowing is all right so what i'm going to read is a direct translation of the sanskrit whereas what lauren has written is a more poetic version that we can relate to so this is a little bit heavier especially it's heavy if english is your first language it's really heavy if it's not oh hold on let's nina say she is the most holy place of pilgrimage i did a meditation when i entered a door into my heart allowing infinite to incarnate this form let go of all expectation don't think just be you are free breath is a constant connection to the divine be conscious of the unconscious prayer love that a reverent act now we will go back to that so here's a direct translation prana or the breath of exhalation goes out and the breath of inhalation enters in in a curvilinear form they do so of their own accord the great goddess prana shakti or kundalini stretches up being both transcendent and imminent she is the most excellent place of pilgrimage so i'm going to read this again and for any of you guys out there who are into yoga i'd love if there's something in there that doesn't sound right to me all right prana or the breath of exhalation goes out and the breath of inhalation enters in in a curvilinear form they do so of their own accord the great goddess prana shakti or kundalini stretches up being both transcendent and imminent she is the most excellent place of pilgrimage did anything sound funny in that phrase i'll just tell you so one of the curiosities of this particular teaching this particular tradition so we often in yoga in hatha yoga in a lot of yoga we talk about prana and apana prana being everything we take into our body and apana being everything we release or in the values they talk about prana being the energy moving up and apana being all the energy moving down nine times out of ten if you're in a yoga class we will always say that the prana comes in on the inhale and apana is what we release on the exhale this is what i have taught for 20 years and it's true it's not wrong but the crazy thing is in this teaching they're actually connecting prana with the exhale and apana with the inhale and i had to do a lot of research about this this morning this i was like wait a minute that can't be right like what am i going to say in in class now which is it so what's interesting is in this tradition what they're looking at the goal of tantra tantra is different because the goal is always the merging of the two the merging of the prana and apana the merging of the masculine feminine the merging of the inhale and exhale and when we can come to this merge state we get to experience bliss they also talk about wanting us to experience the center not the up or the down they want you to experience the center yes like nina said perhaps more cyclical or in an infinity symbol they're not talking about the breath here as much as they're taught or they are talking about the breath but what they're focusing on is the way the energy moves along the spine so just where you are right now as you inhale which direction do you feel the energy flowing up or down and then as you act down up well there goes my example and it's true like i'm with you because it's funny when you inhale like you kind of you feel this sort of up but imagine for a moment as you inhale it's kind of like imagine your diaphragm as you inhale the diaphragm actually moves down and then as you exhale your diaphragm is moving up to push the energy up so just for a moment just for the sake of because i think we're all right this is the whole thing right i can feel the air going down but the energy going up so to kind of imagine that's a great distinction thanks lady like even actually when you think of when you inhale the breath is going in from the top and going down into the body and then when you exhale the air is actually coming from the bottom up and out and this is a very it's a very subtle thing and in all fairness i just read this this morning this is an exploration now this is something i have to now i've never heard this before and so this is the joy of getting to go deeply into each sutra and so what they're talking about is almost this subtle movement of energy in the body and again my mind has had prana going up and outward and apana going downward for so many decades this is a real shift for me to even imagine it and i'm not saying to replace the other teaching these are different traditions with different goals and it's all good it's sort of like that allowing the paradox so that we can expand in all the different ways it's all good i have problems with my energy going downwards a lot of us do first second chakras are very confusing right they're very loaded you know i try to focus on the belly no end or beginning all one is scooping swaying talk about the world opening up if we consider we could be wrong a deeper measure to see it so let's just for a mat just for a moment as we inhale i love for you to feel energy flowing down into your core and as you exhale feel energy moving up and just play with that for a moment however you like maybe you imagine a elevator moving down your spine as you inhale and as you exhale feeling the elevator moving up when you or your tongue on the roof of your mouth it's a cycle the energy and the breath that's so interesting because in taoist teachings they will place the tongue on the upper channel on the upper palate of the mouth and this creates what they call the microcosmic orbit and again to be clear even the microcosmic orbit they will run in both directions so it's all good however we want to do this but just for fun so what's interesting is they actually connect this sutra with the very first sutra of the yukti verses which i'm going to read to you right now which we studied a couple years ago okay so this is the first verse of the yukti verses the one who is intimate to all beings replies so this is an answer to a question that deva has answered beloved your questions require the answers that come through direct living experience the way of experience begins with a breath such as the breath you are breathing now awakening into luminous reality may dawn in the momentary throb between any two breaths exhaling the breath is released and flows out there is a pulse as it turns to flow in in that turn you are empty enter that emptiness as the source of all life inhaling breath flows in filling nourishing just as it turns to flow out there is a flash of pure joy and life is renewed so there is a meditation that i have actually it was the very first meditation i ever uploaded to insight timer eight nine years ago and it's called it's the tantric gap meditation kathleen for sure and it is this meditation and even right now as we're listening essentially it's just feeling the inhale as you inhale noticing where the inhale ends the gap and then exhaling and then noticing the gap and just allowing this breath so why this is so important and why we're focusing on this inhale and exhale in this way is you know how they said in the book let's just look at our original sutra breath flows in breath flows out traveling always the curving path of the goddess so the way tantra works is we begin with oneness shiva shakti oneness shiva shakti becomes duality shiva remains pure consciousness and shakti is us shakti is the manifest self to fully understand that shakti is shiva in physical form and vice versa these are not separate it's only an illusion that they're separate shiva manifests as what they call prana shakti so the energy of the divine the energy of all things manifests in prana shakti which we can experience through prana and apana so if we ever want to experience our divinity if we get lost in the world lost in the dramas lost in the fears all we have to do is close your eyes and connect with the inhale and the exhale this is who we are and even better focus on the gaps in between inhaling pausing for a moment in this eternal gap exhaling and pausing for a moment in that eternal gap but this is a practice even me just saying this doesn't mean anything because our minds are still swirling in ideas now my elevator has no idea which way to go so here's the other beautiful part of that where they said breath flows spontaneously of its own will this is the beauty of it we don't have to control the elevator we don't have to know anything all we have to do is observe our breath and there is something so powerful about experiencing something in our bodies that we actually don't have to will into obedience or will into optimizing or will into taking us somewhere sometimes the absolute best yoga is allowing us to be exactly as we are because this is perfect like whoever you are right now is it's the only life path there's not some better life path that yes mika thank you what mika just wrote tantric meditation to experience oneness that's the meditation thanks mika it's so interesting like they often say that enlightenment if you want to know whether you're enlightened enlightened all you have to know is do you go to sleep when you're tired do you eat when you're hungry do you cry when you're sad do you laugh when you're happy that's all you need to know are your actions connected with your truth are you living in union with who you are right now that's what yoga is that's what tantra is really deeply understanding that exactly where you are right now is perfection but as long as we're kind of like no i should be fatter or thinner or taller or smarter or have more money or be in this other relationship as long as we're in this weird if statement that if only i was like this i would be okay we are not in reality and reality is so poignant and real and so this is a very interesting experience and so when they say the breath flows in this curvilinear path that the breath flows in shakti the feminine in all of us regardless of gender this is universal masculine feminine talk this isn't this isn't gender this can be interpreted in so many ways it can be how debu said that it's the ups and downs of life right imagine that you allow the energy within you the prana the power to flow into the happy times the challenging times the angry times the thrilling times the pain the pleasure all of it is if we aren't allowing that we aren't allowing shakti if we are living our life trying to avoid pain and gain pleasure we're in big trouble because we're trying to create a robotic existence of purely one state of being but that's not what life is that's not the the play of shakti in all of us we're meant to have a juicy existence and all that means is we don't have to go out and create weird stuff and but just whatever is actually happening in our life dive into it observe it observe the flow through your body observe in the same way that we can observe our breath we can observe our tears we can observe our frustration we can observe our hopes we can observe it all and we can honestly in that inner center that divine self the eternal self observe ourselves with so much kindness and love and say wow this is hard now what do we want to do but we just it's all good so here's another lovely line from this be conscious of the unconscious prayer for she is the most holy place of pilgrimage and so what what are they talking about they're talking about this inhale and exhale inhale and exhale this unconscious prayer so the breath is unconscious we can't it's the one of the few aspects of our body that we actually can take conscious control of if we want to heal but normally it just runs unconsciously so here we have this perpetual unconscious prayer connection to the divine flowing all the time and then imagine what is it like to suddenly become conscious become aware of this prayer just to be aware of the miracle of our breath just as we're sitting here to think wow my being is just breathing my heart is just beating it is a miracle it's something we don't understand and so we sit in this beautiful central space and just love it just imagine that meditation wherever you live imagine walking outside finding a place you like maybe it's woods maybe it's a park when i used to live downtown toronto i used to find all these little parks also sometimes they were surrounded by fences and but they were just these little parks and there'd be a little tree in the park and i would just go and sit in the by the tree in this little tiny green space and you can just sit there and kind of feel this miracle becoming conscious of the unconscious prayer it's just so cool the other thing i wanted to mention there's a lot of i want to mention here and this is in the so i'm going to reread the literal translation that i wrote i read prana or the breath of exhalation goes out and the breath of inhalation enters in in a curvilinear form they do so on their own accord and the great goddess prana shakti or kundalini stretches up being both transcendent and imminent meaning in the physical world she is the most excellent place of pilgrimage so they say that the kundalini this energy lays coiled at the base of your spine in the first chakra what does it feel like to you to envision as you're inhaling and exhaling so let's imagine for a moment you inhale so the energy is going down as you inhale the energy is going down to kind of touch the goddess and as you exhale she reaches up the spine as you exhale inhaling she releases back down exhaling she reaches up the spine what does that feel like to you like is it just me that really loves that visual and i think this is what's interesting about the inhale and exhale feeling the energy go down as we inhale that nourishing energy going down all the way into the root chakra into the kundalini and as we exhale she rises up into the body into our being i don't know maybe it's just me but there is something that just gives me shivers when i imagine this kundalini goddess rolling up into us with every exhale feels sacred miraculous like again this isn't logical this is something that we tap into almost in our imagination in our childlike understanding of the world it's not something to be measured or understood it's just something that feels a certain way and then she says she wishes for you to enter this temple where each breath is adoration of the infinite for the incarnate form just imagine that every breath there is this beautiful temple this infinite space inside that we access simply through breathing because i i deeply believe that like the miracle we seek the enlightenment we seek the ecstasy that we seek is hiding in plain sight we've been taught that everything is so complicated and i believe we were taught things were complicated on purpose i do think that but what if we're not what if it's not complicated what if it's so simple what book am i reading from we're reading the radiant sutras this is the book that i was reading the literal translation is this book the vijnana bhairava by jai deva sing i'm going to do a little meditation and then if um i know some people had questions after the meditation i'll ask you to rewrite your question and then we can talk about those so let's just close our eyes for a moment wherever you are and let's just breathe deeply and don't worry about whether the energy's moving up or down or anything like that but just focus on the inhale and the exhale allow your consciousness to flow with the inhale and then flow with the exhale this is the breath in the physical form this is the prana flowing through the physical body now i'd like you to focus on the point the empty space when you inhale at the end of the inhale there's like an emptiness before the body changes and exhales and at the end of the exhale there's a place of emptiness before the body turns to inhale i'd like you to just place your awareness in those empty places you don't have to elongate your breath or anything like that just allow yourself to focus on that space this is the space where the inhale and the exhale neutralize each other where they merge back into oneness at both the end of the inhale and the end of the exhale and then i would like you to imagine allow your focus to be on the inhale but really focus at the end of your inhale there's a bit of a quickening as the inhale turns through that quiet space and then it quickens again as it goes into the exhale i always picture it like a little car driving along the inhale and then it kind of gears down as it goes through a corner through a straightaway and then turns again down into the exhale the same in the exhale just feel that little extra energy as it quickens through the space and then turns into the inhale and then i'd like you to be aware of all three parts be aware of the inhale the turning into the gap the turning into the exhale turning into the gap the turning into the inhale diva breath flows in breath flows out traveling always the curving path of the goddess breath flows spontaneously of its own will thus all breathing beings continually give reference to her be conscious of this unconscious prayer for she is the most holy place of pilgrimage she wishes for you to enter this temple where each breath is adoration of the infinite for the incarnate form thanks everybody we'll see you later