She Embraces Her Lover: Radiance Sutras Verses 161-162

During this session, we discuss Verses 161-163 of the Insight Verses from the 'Radiance Sutras', a translation of the Vijanana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Loche. A meditation follows our discussion.

These sessions are recorded every week, and all are welcome.

Transcript

So today we are reading from the Radiant Sutras and this is our final class in the Radiant Sutras.

We have done 160 verses of this which all can be found in a playlist here on Insight Timer called the Radiant Sutras under my profile and today we are doing our final talk which is so exciting.

Next week we're diving into the Bhagavad Gita but this is our final talk about the Radiant Sutras.

And so we've gone through this huge journey where there's a dialogue between Devi and Bhairava or the human and God or Shakti and Shiva where Shakti is sort of saying what is this life?

It's kind of like imagining like in Tantra there's this ultimate merging of Shiva-Shakti that theoretically is the oneness.

This is where we began and then to create duality Shiva-Shakti separated into two aspects.

They're still the same energy but now in different form.

Shiva remained as pure consciousness still aware of all things because Shiva is unmanifest.

It is all potential,

All everything.

Shakti became manifest reality.

In all of us we are all Shakti.

Everything is Shakti.

And so in order to do that,

In order to become manifest,

You can't still be walking around knowing everything.

Like in order for me to be Katrina,

In order for me to actually have the Katrina experience,

I can't also be having the Melissa experience and the Kirti experience and the Lady experience and the Felice experience and the Keith experience.

I can't have all these experiences at once.

That's the role of when I'm back in oneness then I will experience all things at all times.

But I'm meant to just experience Katrina.

And so that means limiting myself.

Limiting myself to this human mind that knows what this human being is meant to know.

You know in this time and space and all the time and space doesn't exist in oneness but here it does which is what allows all of us to gather at a particular time.

In this particular space from all over the world we get to be all over the world in individual places.

In oneness,

In Shiva,

We are all things at all times in all space.

There is no space or time,

Just oneness.

So you can imagine,

You know,

So let's imagine this that Shiva-Shakti split from Shiva,

Pure consciousness,

Into Shakti,

Individual consciousness.

And so here I am as Shakti going,

What is this world all about?

I don't get it.

Like there's pain and there's suffering and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing here and this is confusing and I'm having all these interactions that don't make any sense and it's almost like somewhere deep inside I am still Shiva but out in the world I'm like this is a kooky place I landed.

Like what is it all about?

And so this is a conversation between Shakti and Shiva or Devi and Bhairava,

However it doesn't matter,

Where Devi's saying can you help me?

Can you remind me?

Like what have I forgotten here?

Like how am I supposed to do this?

So the first are the banter verses where they're kind of having this back and forth conversation.

Then Shiva or Bhairava says here are 112 Dharanas and a Dharana is a contemplation,

A meditation,

A practice,

A focus.

Here are 112 concepts,

Meditations to help you remember all of who you are.

And so that is the the majority of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra which is the Radiant Sutras.

And then after the 112 they have the insight verses where we start to bring it all together.

Like okay so we've amassed all these interesting experiences and awarenesses,

Now what?

Like how do I live?

Do I share it with people?

Do I scream it from the rooftops and tell everybody?

Like what do I do?

And that's been the conversation of the last few weeks and this is the final,

The final response of Shakti,

Of Devi to Bhairava.

Okay you guys ready?

Let's close our eyes.

Let's breathe deeply.

Just come into your eternal self in your heart.

Breathing deeply.

Devi replies,

You whose drum is the pulse of creation,

You whose dance is the motion of all worlds,

You who are more intimate than my very breath,

I am suffused with satisfaction.

My questions have led to fullness.

You have sung to me of the ways of union,

Of the goddess with her god,

Time and space,

Personal and impersonal,

Energy and form.

Finite and infinite.

You have sung the song of being home in the universe.

Having said that,

The goddess radiant with delight embraces her lover.

What does it feel like to hear that?

What rises in you?

Complete.

Loved.

Timeless love.

Graduation day.

Embraces her lover,

Meeting the one after dying.

The ultimate joy from searching and trusting.

Full circle,

The Ouroboros birth and rebirth.

It feels restful.

It feels a bit unreal,

Almost fairy tale like.

Coming home.

So I'm going to read to you the literal translation of this,

As always,

Which again is quite different than what Lauren has interpreted it as.

I love Lauren's interpretation,

By the way,

But I want to read to you the original translation knowing that everything is as it is meant to be.

All right,

So here is one literal translation of it.

The goddess said,

O great God,

O God of all gods,

O benefactor,

I am fully satisfied.

Today I have understood with certainty the quintessence of Rudra Yamala Tantra,

And also the heart of all grades of Shakti.

Having said the above,

The goddess who was steeped in delight embraced Shiva.

I'm just going to read that again because we're going to we're going to dive into this.

The goddess said,

O great God,

O God of all gods,

O benefactor,

I am fully satisfied.

Today I have understood with certainty the quintessence of Rudra Yamala Tantra,

And also the heart of all the grades of Shakti.

Having said the above,

The goddess who was steeped in delight embraced Shiva.

So I'd like to talk about this because this is it's very interesting.

So the Rudra Yamala Tantra,

I'm just going to write this in the chat for a sec.

Rudra,

R-U-D-R-A,

Yamala Tantra.

So Rudra is another name for Shiva.

Again there's a lot of translations.

And Yamala is an ancient set of texts and Tantra is teaching.

And the Rudra Yamala Tantra is actually an ancient text that the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra comes from.

And it's a very,

Very ancient text where they focus on many,

Many things.

And it actually doesn't exist anymore.

It's been lost to antiquity.

But there are parts of it that have lived on.

Quotes,

The Vijnana Bhairava Tantra,

Things like that.

But the actual text itself is lost.

But one of the things that it teaches,

Which is very interesting to us,

Is that it actually introduces the idea of Kundalini and talks about the journey of the Kundalini from the root up to the crown.

The journey of the Kundalini Shakti all the way up to then embrace Shiva in the crown.

And what's interesting about this particular book,

They talk about six chakras,

Not seven.

Normally we talk about seven chakras.

So up the central channel,

The Sushmana Nadi,

Up through the central channel,

There are six chakras,

Or knots.

They also have knots,

They call them,

That need to be unraveled or untied.

And the first chakra is at the root,

Where we sit our abundance or scarcity,

Food,

Water,

Our attachment to security,

Safety,

All that kind of things,

First chakra.

Second chakra,

How we interact with others,

Water.

Third chakra,

Who am I,

Fire.

Fourth chakra,

The heart,

Air.

Fifth chakra,

How I express myself,

Knowledge.

And then the sixth chakra,

Knowledge,

Intuition.

These are the six chakras because these are the six chakras that must be pierced or unraveled to merge with Shiva in the top,

In the crown chakra.

The crown chakra isn't considered needing to be expanded.

It's like it's sitting there waiting for us.

Why I think this is really interesting is that in many ways,

This is the spiritual path,

The unpacking of all of our attachments in all of the chakras.

So let's take something like the first chakra.

The first chakra,

In the positive,

You might have been born into beautiful abundance and you've never had to worry about food or shelter or money or safety or anything like that.

But then maybe something happened.

Maybe,

Maybe suddenly money became scarce for some reason and suddenly you're working at a job just to pay the bills,

Just to feed the kids,

Just to whatever.

Or maybe you've lost someone,

Someone has passed and that's sort of like shaken your first chakra and suddenly you're afraid of death,

You're afraid of loss,

You're afraid of all this.

And so the first chakra becomes like tight and it almost creates an anxiety in us as our whole psyche becomes attached to all these fears.

Fears that there isn't enough,

Fears that I'm going to be wanting,

Fears that what if I die?

What if that person dies?

And you can imagine this.

And so there you can imagine why the kundalini is locked there,

Like it's just stuck.

And then you come into the second chakra and the second chakra is interaction with others loosely.

And now you all of a sudden think,

Wow,

What if you've had a lot of difficult interactions with people in your life,

Including your own family of origin?

You can imagine how locked in and then all of a sudden we have attachment to that.

Well now I need that person to like me.

This is people pleasing,

This is fear,

This is Stockholm syndrome,

This is anxiety,

This is all these things.

It's like,

Well I don't know if I even want to be around that person because what if they want me to do something and I don't want them to do it?

You know,

We have all these stresses all locked into the second chakra.

Then we go into third chakra,

It's like,

Well I don't even know who I am.

Am I even on the right path?

You know what I'm saying?

I feel like I'm making this really heavy.

But you can imagine all those locks all the way up.

Well the point of all of our teachings in the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra was to help us release those fears,

Was to help us release the attachment to all these things by very gently reminding us that we are divine beings.

It's kind of like if we're struggling to pay rent,

Finding out that we are divine beings isn't immediately helpful.

You know,

In fact,

That's kind of annoying for someone to say that to you.

Or if we're having any issue in any of the chakras,

Imagine we're having some horrible battle with one of our parents and it's lifelong and it's just like,

Ah,

You know,

And someone says,

You know what,

You just have to remember that you're both divine beings.

That's not helpful right now.

Or the third chakra,

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

Don't worry,

You're just divine light walking around.

It's like,

It's not helpful to just someone say it.

But what if you found a practice that when you did it,

You felt differently.

It's not an intellectual thing.

You felt differently.

And that's the point of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra.

A couple months ago,

One of the lessons was just pick one.

Pick one practice and just do that.

Dive into it.

Love it.

Enjoy it.

Allow yourself to go deep into the subtleties of life.

One that's coming to me is it's a pondering of the void of darkness.

And you're meant to go outside and just gaze at the night sky and contemplate the void,

Contemplate darkness.

Now imagine you did this night after night and you allowed it to seep into your bones.

Well,

Then suddenly we would just simply change inside of us.

It's almost like we would respect the quiet.

We would respect stillness.

Maybe instead of feeling anxious,

We would just naturally allow ourselves to sit quietly.

Sometimes we can feel very anxious if people are quiet.

People are sitting in a room and nobody's talking.

And it's like there's a weird anxiety with silence.

And so someone says something or someone picks up their phone or even any of us,

Especially with the effects of having a phone on us all the time.

How easy it is,

Is it to not be okay with just sitting still?

Oh,

Well,

I'll just scroll Facebook.

It's like,

Or we could just sit still.

This is something that personally I think about a lot these days is the power of just doing nothing for a little while.

I love having a tub,

But I can get into a habit of taking my Kindle in with me or listening to a podcast while I'm in the tub or playing,

You know,

Medjong or something on my iPad.

But lately,

There's a respect inside of me that says,

No,

Dive into the void,

Trust it,

Love it.

But we won't get there intellectually.

We have to practice it.

There's another meditation in here where you recognize that you are made of earth,

Air,

Wind,

Fire,

Ether.

And so are the trees.

And so is the snow.

And so is the water.

Well,

Maybe the water is just made of water,

But there's water,

And there's fire,

And there's trees,

And there's grass,

And there's dogs,

And there's other people.

And every single thing that surrounds us is made of the exact same elements as we are.

And those elements that we are made of are divine.

We are made of divine elements.

There is only divine energy in the world.

And so all of a sudden,

Every single thing that's around us is also made of the same divine elements.

So as you walk down the street,

And you look at the trees,

And you look at the leaves,

And you look at the grass,

And you look at the water,

You realize that I am surrounded by me.

And every cell of my body is made of divine elements.

And everything around me is made of divine elements.

I swim in a sea of divinity.

And I am a part of that.

This is a powerful meditation to do.

Imagine you went out and you did this every day for a month.

Every day you went out,

And maybe you read the sutra,

You read the passage,

You made notes to yourself that this is my meditation,

This is my dharana,

This is my contemplation.

And you did it every day for a month.

Now you're having this difficult issue with your parent.

But you're different.

Something has shifted inside of you.

It's not an intellectual thing.

It's not someone saying that you're divine.

Your cells know that you're divine.

Your cells know something that your brain can't understand.

As you contemplate why you're here in the third chakra,

You realize that you are swimming in a sea of divinity.

And maybe joy rises inside of you that,

Well,

I don't know,

But I get to find out.

What a joyful journey.

What an amazing adventure that I get to,

I get to explore this world that is pure divinity.

And every person I come in contact with is also pure divinity.

It doesn't mean I have to like them.

The divine isn't all happy.

It's all the things.

It's rain and it's sunshine.

And some people are rain and some people are sunshine,

But it's okay to hang out with rain too.

So now you can imagine our journey back to wholeness.

It's this gentle journey of unpacking all of these attachments,

Fears,

Just gently.

Like I don't think it has to be extreme.

I always have this picture of when I was a kid,

There was a game called Kerplunk,

Which is maybe a strange analogy,

But it was a cylinder with all of these holes drilled in the side.

And you put all these straws through the cylinder holes.

And then you put all these balls on top and they all stay on top of all these straws.

And then the game is one person pulls out a straw and the other person pulls out a straw.

And then at some point,

And I can't remember whether you win if a ball drops or if you lose if a ball drops,

I don't know.

But that's to me what tantric practice is like.

You do the practice or it could be anything,

Whatever your spiritual practice is.

It could be simply sitting in Zen meditation.

It could be doing a Kundalini Yoga Kriya.

It could be doing anything that changes you.

It's not just a stretching program.

It's something that changes you.

All of a sudden,

It's like,

It's not all of a sudden,

These little straws get pulled out.

You know,

If you were to imagine that there were these knots all the way up your spine,

You do this one practice and it just slowly pulls this one string out.

And then you adjust,

The dust settles,

And then you pull another string out,

And then another,

And then another,

And another.

And then maybe you read a book and you're like,

Whoa,

I totally get it.

And another three strings pull out.

And bit by bit,

That Shakti energy is like,

You know what,

In my first chakra,

I'm feeling like it's like I have more faith and abundance.

I have more connection to abundance,

Even if it doesn't show in my bank account.

Even if it's maybe not showing in my relationship status.

Something inside of me is changing.

I now,

I understand that the world is abundant.

Hmm.

It's also really interesting,

The visual of the Shakti energy going piercing up through the first to the second to the third.

Because very often,

Our deepest pain is actually in our first chakra.

But we must heal it.

We must return to the body.

We must feel in ourselves.

We must go back into our childhood,

Heal that stuff.

And then slowly,

As all those knots are released all the way up,

We then merge together with Shiva.

And I really think this is the whole journey.

Does anyone have any questions about that?

Before we do a meditation?

The last phrase of the literal translation,

Devi said,

And I now understand the different levels of Shakti,

The different energies of Shakti.

And what's interesting is what she's actually talking about there is what they call para,

Parapara,

And apara.

Literally p-a-r-a p-a-r-a p-a-r-a and a-p-a-r-a.

And of course,

These are beautiful Sanskrit words,

But para is transcendent oneness.

And we all have had those moments,

These moments of time.

Time stands still.

It's like we taste that oneness.

This is para.

And then apara,

A normally means not in Sanskrit.

So apara,

A-p-a-r-a,

Is our physical world,

The imminent.

This is our day-to-day life,

Our challenges,

Our joys,

All that.

So on one hand,

We have apara,

Our physical lives.

Then we have para,

The transcendent.

And parapara is this amazing in-between world where we're dancing between the tension of both.

The tension of the physical requirements,

Say,

Of our lives and this transcendent state that we can taste.

And that's what she's saying is,

I'm now understanding the purely physical experience,

The purely transcendent experience,

And this amazing dance in-between.

I feel like I clear a chakra and feel in balance,

But I always end up again dysregulated and stuck.

Do you have any tips so I can stop falling back?

The first thing that comes to me,

It's a wonderful question.

The first thing that comes to me is that let's imagine,

So on the one hand,

This teaching talks about this journey up the spine,

Right through the chakras and this sort of linear thing.

In many ways,

This is a way of pulling apart the potential challenges of being human or being incarnate so that we can look at them specifically.

But the reality is we are just light.

We are white light.

When you look at us through a prism,

And let's imagine that maybe our physical body is this magical prism that the divine light expresses itself in,

We show up like a rainbow.

And the rainbow is our chakras.

Our first chakra is red.

I don't see chakras,

But people who see them,

The first chakra is red,

The second chakra is orange,

The third chakra is yellow,

The fourth chakra is green,

The fifth chakra is blue,

The sixth chakra is indigo,

And it continues up.

So,

While we can look at individual chakras and heal and integrate those experiences,

The reality is they're all connected to each other.

We may look at our second chakra and we may realize that,

Wow,

I'm really having a hard time interacting with people.

Maybe I have a lot of anxiety,

You know,

For good reason.

And then maybe I look at that and I sort that out.

But my third chakra was also part of the reason that I was struggling with other people,

Because maybe I wasn't so sure about who I am.

If I'm really sure about who I am,

It's much easier to interact with people.

And maybe I was also having trouble in the second chakra because maybe my first chakra was because I was kind of frightened and really seeking security.

So,

Therefore,

I was seeking security in other people.

You know,

I needed security from you.

I needed to be able to depend on you.

I needed to know that you were okay or that you would always be there for me.

So,

It feels like a second chakra issue,

But it's actually a first chakra issue.

Maybe there's something amok sort of in the fifth chakra,

In the throat,

Because I'm actually having a really hard time expressing my soul's truth.

I'm having a hard time sharing my satya,

My truth.

So,

This is where every single chakra is always a part of whatever issue we're having.

As much as we can look at them individually,

And it's very helpful,

There's actually a general challenge that's going on.

It's like trying to keep your house clean.

I remember when my kids were little,

They would just leave a wake behind them.

They would just play with something,

And then they would run off and go do something else,

And then they would do that,

And they would run off.

And by the end of the day,

The house was trashed.

And I really deeply wanted to say to them,

You know,

This isn't okay.

You've got to clean up after yourself.

But then I realized that I also left a wake behind me.

And what was interesting is,

It's almost like I needed to step up my awareness to kind of think,

Okay,

Wait a minute.

Why do you leave a wake behind you,

Katrina?

Oh,

We're too busy.

I don't have time to clean up after me,

Because I've got to go to the barn right away after dinner,

And now the dishes are going to pile up.

And then as soon as this happens,

I've got to run the kids to karate,

And then I've got to do this.

And then I thought to myself,

I wonder if the kids feel like that,

That they're being rushed from one thing to the next,

So I actually needed to back up and think,

I need to slow down.

I need us all to slow down.

And then as we slowed down,

Bit by bit,

Little changes happened.

And the bathroom wasn't as messy,

And the bedrooms weren't as messy.

Now,

It could be that we need to look at each individual room and say,

Okay,

What's going on in the bathroom that it's so messy all the time?

Or why is there water everywhere?

And then you look in the bedrooms,

It's like,

Okay,

We need a better system for organizing your clothes.

Do you know what I mean?

Like,

We can go room by room,

But in the end,

We actually need to fix the fundamental reasons that it was a muck to begin with.

And so it's very similar with chakras,

That they really are all connected.

So what I would do is if they suddenly go out of balance,

Look and see what happened.

Was it a sense of self?

Do you wish you'd spoken your truth?

Like,

What is it?

And then just follow the breadcrumbs.

And then slowly,

It's almost like we just slowly massage all the chakras back into oneness.

I find like it's more like an onion,

It isn't one and done fixed.

Totally.

Root cause analysis,

Every room and every intention.

All right,

Let's do a little meditation.

Our final Radiant Sutras meditation.

Close our eyes.

Let's just breathe deeply,

Expanding the belly as we inhale.

Contracting as we exhale.

And I'd like you to envision yourself sitting on a park bench.

And the Radiant Sutras book is sitting on your lap,

Because you've just been contemplating something deep and interesting.

And then you close the book and you set it down beside you,

And you take a big breath.

And a smile comes over your face.

And you stand up and you begin to walk.

And you see the blue sky above you,

The grass underneath you,

The trees,

Everything all around you.

And your whole body is breathing deeply.

Feeling this whole world made up of all the same things you're made of.

And it's like you're just wandering through divinity.

And you feel the abundance of the first chakra,

This incredible earth we were born into.

The flow of the second chakra as we get to meet new people and relationship shift and change.

The exploration of our third chakra.

Who am I really here in this place?

The love in the fourth chakra,

Whether it's love of people or the love of nachos.

Just love.

The exploration of our throat chakra,

Expressing our truth,

Sharing with others.

The intuition and knowledge of our sixth chakra.

And then allowing all of these to blend together into a beautiful whole,

Expanding into the seventh chakra,

Fully remembering who we are.

And just feel yourself wandering down the street,

One with the universe,

One with yourself.

Shri Deva Uvaka,

Deva Deva Mahadeva,

Parit Tazma Shankara,

Rudra Yamala Tantrasya,

Saram Adya Dharitam,

Sarva Shakti Prabhidhanam,

Hriddayam Nyatam Adhyaka,

Iti Uktfanatita Devi Kante Lagna Shavasya Tu.

Devi replies,

You whose drum is the pulse of creation,

You whose dance is the motion of all worlds,

You who are more intimate than my very breath,

I am suffused with satisfaction.

My questions have led to fullness.

You have sung to me of the ways of union of the goddess with her god.

Time and space,

Personal and impersonal,

Energy and form,

Finite and infinite.

You have sung the song of being at home in the universe.

Having said that,

The goddess,

Radiant with delight,

Embraces her lover.

Thanks guys,

We'll see you later.

Reviews

Helpful analogy of the rooms in the house. Thank you. Beautiful as always.

My goodness Katrina, what an ending!!! This journey through this book, all the teaching, the tantra, has been so rich. Thank you for diving into it and pulling one peg at a time until all the balls went Ka Plunk! I enjoy my every day practice, my every day embrace with God. This morning being especially orgasmic in the still air, moisture, sun of my garden of Eden here in Northern California.

It is like swimming in the loving ambrosia of creative manifestation.
Thank you infinitely.

Thank you for introducing me to the book! Lovely to read, lovely to hear your discussions. 💕🙏💕🙏💕🙏