5 Ways To Increase Your Self-Worth With Julie Reisler

If you struggle with feeling a lack of worthiness or 'not enough', you must tune into this talk with Julie Reisler, Insight Timer course creator and host of the You-est You podcast. Julie will share the five specific ways to help you increase your self-worth and never question it again. Reminder my friend, your self-worth has nothing to do with your achievements or financial means. Grab your pen and paper, and get ready to connect more deeply with your truest self.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Julie Riesler and I'm known as America's Life Designer and I'm an interior designer for your soul and mentor for spiritual entrepreneurs.

I am here to guide you back to your best self,

To manifest your biggest dream.

I am a master life coach,

Founder of the Life Designer Coach Academy Certification Program,

Author of Get a PhD in You,

And host of this very global podcast in over 175 countries.

For over a decade,

I've helped thousands of high achievers and empaths just like you to overcome self-doubt,

Overwhelm,

And fear so you can feel confident to be your USU.

I'm so excited,

My friend,

To share these conversations with leading experts,

Spiritual luminaries,

Celebrities,

And deep dives with yours truly.

If you're ready to design your most abundant life and help others to do the same,

Go to JulieRiesler.

Com for more resources and support.

We all have the power to intentionally design our dream lives and I am thrilled to show you how.

Let's do this.

Okay,

My friend,

Just pausing briefly to share about something that could be just what you're seeking.

If your USU is calling out to fulfill a greater purpose to help others get unstuck and actualize their greatness,

Then you got to check out my Life Designer Coach Academy.

This is a world-class,

Four-month,

Boutique,

Live virtual coach certification for aspiring and current coaches who want to learn the proven tools,

Techniques,

Practices,

And coach methodology infused with an integrative approach of mind-body science,

Positive psychology,

And the healing arts.

This certification program is taught by yours truly and is a premier global course that will most definitely help you become a powerful life coach.

I teach and share what I have learned in my decade of experience getting my master's degree in coaching,

Being on the Georgetown University faculty and their coach program,

And coaching hundreds of ambitious leaders,

Executives,

Entrepreneurs,

And influencers.

To learn more,

Go to JulieRiesler.

Com forward slash certification.

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome,

Brave dreamers,

Big thinkers,

USU community,

Soul family.

So excited to be here with you today.

I'm Julie.

I am the host.

And today we are going to be hanging you and I together with yours truly for a solo episode all about how to increase your self-worth.

I'm going to be talking about the five ways to increase your self-worth or that real sense of worthiness.

Before I get into these five ways that I think are really,

Really important that have helped me to step into my own worthiness,

Which is something that I have worked on for a long,

Long time.

And I want to thank you.

So many of you have reached out about topics that you're interested in.

This is one of them that has been high on the list.

So I'm really hoping that this is helpful to you.

And please pass and share this along with anyone you think that could have some support and use some help and some guidance around increasing self-worth and worthiness because it's so important.

And what I want to share is that these ideas,

These tools,

These tips,

They're things to be practiced on a daily basis.

And the first thing I want to say before we even dive into that is just to understand that by nature,

By default,

Inherently,

You are worthy.

Okay,

So I need to say that first off,

Like before we get into these tips and ways to increase your self-worth,

I just want to say from like my heart to yours,

From my meist-me to your USU,

Because you're alive,

Because you're on the planet,

Because you're breathing,

Because you're here,

Because you chose to make this trip to planet Earth in this lifetime,

You're worthy.

You're inherently worthy.

And I think it's important saying that before we get into ways of increasing self-worth.

And when I say increasing self-worth,

I mean you connecting to the fact that you're worthy,

You raising that worthy quotient,

You remembering,

You feeling that sense of worth.

However,

Let's just get it straight right off the bat,

You are worthy.

Self-worth is something I think that often we start out of the gate with.

We come into this world,

We're born,

We don't question it,

But then things happen,

Right?

I did a whole TED Talk about this.

I was told that I was not a great dancer and was too heavy,

And it started to chip away at my own sense of worthiness and self-worth,

Right?

Maybe you were told that you weren't the best student or that you were a bad friend or you weren't whatever enough.

So what happens is we have these experiences that happen in our life.

We have these interactions,

Whether it's with our parents or siblings or teachers or community or spiritual gatherings,

Wherever it is.

It's the media,

It's messages that you hear,

That you take in.

And often what happens is we create these stories,

These beliefs,

And all of a sudden we get to be in our adulthood and it's like somewhere along the line you forgot that you were worthy and you forgot that you lost that sense of self-worth.

So I'm speaking to you,

My friend,

If you have felt a little lack of self-worth,

A little lack of connection to feeling that you're worthy of great things and that you're enough just by being here,

You don't have to do anything.

You don't have to do anything to be worthy.

And I think that's important to say because what I'm going to share are ways and things you can do to increase your self-worth.

However,

Just know right out of the gate,

We're starting with you are worthy and you don't have to prove that or do anything to be seen as worthwhile and worthy in the eyes of the divine.

Now,

That's my feeling.

That is the way I interpret things.

Of course,

As always,

You'll hear me say,

Take what you like and leave the rest.

The other thing that I'm hoping you're going to get out of today's convo with you and me together is the idea of not needing to rely on others for your self-worth.

My tips,

My suggestions,

What I'm going to share about is about cultivating that from within.

This is a lot of what I do when I coach others,

When I teach how to coach in my coaching program.

The whole point is to have that deeper sense of self-worth,

Self-confidence,

And knowing you have what you need within.

Others can be there to support you,

Be a guide,

A mirror,

Reflect back.

Ultimately,

Though,

It's about you digging in,

Connecting to your higher self,

Your essence,

Your you-ist you,

Your authenticity,

And getting that you're worthy and that self-worth is who you are by your birthright,

Inherently.

I wanted to start out by saying that's really important to me.

My goal is for you to not just know this self-worth,

But to feel it,

To emanate it,

To be it.

We're going to dive in.

I'm going to talk about the five ways that I think are very helpful to increase your self-worth.

The first one,

Which is very much.

.

.

This has been a challenge for me and something I've been working on a lot,

Is actually,

It might be counterintuitive,

But it's learning to say no.

It's learning to say no.

It's learning to both speak up for yourself,

To speak your truth,

And to say no,

To say no to things that don't energize you,

Don't move you.

Maybe there's a date that you don't want to go on or a meeting that doesn't feel aligned or an event or a party that really doesn't feel like something you truly want to do.

This is something I teach a lot of,

But use your body wisdom.

I teach this often.

I do this often myself.

Are you leaning in or away?

Leaning in is typically our body saying,

I want to do that.

If you're leaning away or you're feeling that energy of leaning away,

Take that as a no.

No can be one of the most powerful things you can learn to say.

Learning to say no and being okay with missing out.

Other than that FOMO,

Fear of missing out,

Maybe it's that gratitude for missing out because you're saying no.

Because when you say no,

You are opening yourself to say yes to what really matters.

This might be different than what you thought.

I have found the gift and the courage to say no builds incredible sense of esteem and a sense of worthiness and self-worth and efficacy.

Number one,

Being comfortable saying no.

This is going to be maybe a challenge for my beloved people pleasers out there.

And remember with people pleasing,

When we do that,

It's actually lying.

It's lying about who we are and what we really want to be doing.

Even though we don't think that way,

We may not feel that way,

You're trying to help somebody else,

Right?

You're doing it,

You think because you want to help that person,

Go to that event,

Whatever it might be.

But if it comes from people pleasing versus a real desire to be of service,

If it's coming from people pleasing to be liked,

Then that's something to look at.

And probably under that is a no.

So number one,

Building that ability to say no.

Number two,

This is really inspired by one of my favorite,

Favorite writers.

I've actually interviewed Don Miguel Ruiz,

His sons,

Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

And Jose Ruiz,

Incredible,

Incredible men.

Don Miguel,

I love his work.

I read the four agreements 20 plus years ago and it changed my life.

And one of the agreements is be impeccable with your word.

To me,

That's about being in integrity.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Be in integrity,

Be impeccable.

Be squeaky clean with what you're saying to yourself and to others.

And that's the little catch,

Not just with others,

My friend,

To yourself.

What are you saying to yourself?

Be impeccable with the words you're saying to yourself.

So a great little side tip,

If you would like to get a sense of what you're saying to yourself.

And I do this with clients all the time to get a really good sense of,

Okay,

What am I saying to myself in the course of the day?

Get a little notebook or your notes in your phone and just start tracking,

Right?

All the things you're saying to yourself,

Especially the things that are negative,

Right?

We want to look at those and see what is it I'm saying to myself?

You want to be impeccable with your word.

You want to be impeccable with your word.

So if you say that you can be there to help your friend move out of her apartment on Saturday,

But then all of a sudden you don't want to do that,

But you gave your word,

Then you either need to clean it up with her and be honest or be impeccable with your word and show up.

So be impeccable with your word would mean cleaning up if you're not going to go and showing up if you are.

So be impeccable with your word,

Being really,

Really careful with those words that you're saying to others,

But especially to yourself.

That's number two,

Okay?

And that in itself could be a whole podcast episode with impeccability of words and what you're saying to yourself.

Really great tip is to notice and to track what you're saying so you can start to see how you speak to yourself.

Because what we say to ourself is so important,

Right?

That's going to affect your thoughts,

Your feelings,

Your actions,

Your results.

If you've heard of the TIFAR method or the TIFAR methodology,

Right,

Thoughts,

Feelings,

Action results.

Well,

Those thoughts often start with what you're saying to yourself.

So you really,

If you want to shift how your results are,

You want to shift how you're feeling and your thoughts,

You got to look at what you're saying.

All right,

We're going to move on to three.

This is the third tip in ways to increase your sense of self-worth and efficacy and confidence.

So important.

Okay,

And I've done an episode,

I think about a year ago on this.

And that is all about forgiveness,

Forgiving yourself.

See when you and I,

When we hold on to resentments,

To shame,

To feeling regretful,

Right,

That's going to usurp your sense of worthiness,

Feeling good about yourself.

So it's really important.

Yes,

You want to forgive others,

But you've got to really,

Really do that work to forgive yourself.

And for any of my friends out there,

Any of you who've been part of a 12-step program,

For example,

There is a whole step on this.

The fourth step is all about learning to forgive.

It actually has three steps included,

Fourth,

Fifth,

And sixth.

And what do you do?

You start with a list of resentments,

The people,

The places,

The institutions that you have resentments towards.

Well,

I would encourage you to put yourself on that list.

Start with yourself.

What are you resentful about?

Where have you not forgiven yourself?

Right?

Maybe you've gotten into a relationship that was really,

Really not aligned.

Maybe you took a job that felt like you sold your soul.

Maybe you lost your temper with your spouse or your best friend.

Maybe you were really crappy to yourself,

Right,

And chose to eat over it or drink over it.

Whatever it might be,

I really recommend that you do some inner work around forgiving yourself.

It is so powerful and will help to free you and help you to see and feel your own self-worth.

So forgiveness and forgiveness of yourself,

I would put yourself first.

And then,

Sure,

You could put others there that you might have resentments toward.

But in this episode,

I really am going to encourage you to focus on you,

My friend.

All right,

That's number three.

Number four.

I love this one.

I was trained in a strength-based way of looking at life when I got my master's degree in health and wellness coaching.

I went to Maryland University of Integrative Health here in Maryland.

Amazing,

Amazing university.

And the whole program was focused on from a positive psychology-based slant,

Which is all about looking at your strengths.

We tend to look at our deficiencies.

And part of that is because of the negative bias.

You probably know this.

Like,

As human beings,

We tend to look as a way to keep ourselves safe and protected at things that we're doing that we did wrong,

That we feel like we could have done better,

Where we acted out,

Where all of those,

That negative bias is real.

And it often takes quite a bit more positive experiences to overcome that negative bias.

But the great news is,

Because of neuroplasticity,

Which you probably also know about,

Which is the ability to change our wiring in our brain,

Because we know that what fires together wires together.

So if you start changing the way that you're talking to yourself,

Back to the words that you're using,

If you start changing that over time,

Like minimum 30 days,

But usually it's more like 90 to 120 days,

We know because of the neuroplasticity research in our brain that we can change that wiring.

We can change the way we're behaving and being towards ourselves.

And one of the best ways to do that is to come from a strength-based approach.

So focusing on your strengths.

This might take a little bit of work as well.

And what I would encourage is getting a journal,

And I do this,

And really look at,

First of all,

Doing an inventory.

What are my strengths?

What are your strengths?

So that might be some of those values that you're living in your life,

Like integrity.

Maybe one of your strengths is creativity.

Maybe one is entrepreneurial thinking,

Open-mindedness,

Resilience.

Maybe a strength is your ability to,

Your empathy,

Ability to relate to others.

So what I would encourage you to do is make a list of your strengths.

And if you need help,

Find some friends around you.

Ask a partner or spouse,

A dear friend,

To kind of help you.

Ask them,

What do you see in me?

Or some of my top strengths.

Start to look at those strengths.

You also,

If you're into assessments,

I'm into assessments,

I must admit.

There is the VIA Strength Assessment,

And it's free.

And you could take that,

And it does look at what you value,

What strengths you value.

There's also the Strength Finder,

The Strength Finder Assessment.

And I believe it's like a $50 assessment,

But you could take the Clifton Strength Finder Assessment,

And it will tell you those top strengths.

Right?

So I know for me,

The top one is positivity,

Which,

By the way,

There's like an underbelly to positivity,

Because sometimes looking at things,

Always from that slant of like,

How is this going to be even better for me?

How am I learning?

It's usually,

It could be a great strength.

And sometimes,

Though,

It's important to look at life and not always look at just what's positive,

Right?

Some of the things that I,

The shadow work,

Right?

So that's a way to tap into your strengths if you want to go the assessment route.

But you could sit down,

Get a journal,

And really make a list.

What are your,

What are things that you value,

And what are your strengths?

You'll know this.

Where do you get energy?

Where do you thrive?

And really be honest,

And don't be ashamed to put this out there.

This is so important.

We all have strengths,

And part of building your self-worth is knowing them,

Knowing them,

Being them,

Living them,

Breathing them,

But you got to know them.

The second piece to this is kind of like the bonus work,

Is really tapping in on a daily basis and certainly,

You know,

Every week.

Where were you tapping into those strengths today,

In this week,

In your business,

In your work,

With your family,

In your life?

Where are you tapping into those strengths?

So maybe creativity,

Right?

Creativity might be one of your strengths.

Perhaps you had to tap into creativity.

If you have kids and,

You know,

They didn't have camp because it was canceled because the weather or something happened and you had to,

On the fly,

Think of something fun to do for that week.

I've been there.

Creativity is an amazing strength.

So you leaned on creativity.

Why you do this is because what you're doing is you're telling yourself and your subconscious.

You're focusing on those strengths and what we appreciate appreciates and what we focus on expands.

The other thing is those strengths are there,

They exist,

And we want to bring them up to the surface.

So focus on your strengths.

Make that a daily practice before you go to bed.

Look and,

You know,

Do a little inventory.

How did I express those strengths today?

How did I tap into empathy,

Right?

Or entrepreneurial thinking or open-mindedness or having a big heart or generosity or authenticity or integrity.

There's so many strengths or positivity,

Right?

Or maybe it's logical thinking.

Like really make that list.

And then go into each end of the day and look at how did you tap into those strengths.

This is definitely a way I found that has helped me build my self-worth,

That has helped many of the clients I've worked with over the past decade,

And I use this all the time.

I try to use it with my kids too.

So it's something you could even do if you have children or nieces or nephews or kids that you work around or work with.

Ask them,

What are some of your strengths?

I'd love to know.

And how are you using them?

Do this for yourself.

And you could do this with a friend,

With a spouse,

With a partner.

Just so important to be focusing on your strengths because otherwise what happens is we naturally look at the deficit.

We look at the negativity,

Look at where we are falling short.

And what we want to do is start to change our focus and our lens.

It doesn't mean there are not going to be areas to work on,

Right?

It just means we're going to start focusing more on those strengths,

Which I know you have.

All right,

My friend,

The last one.

And this is where I go more into that spiritual territory,

But for me,

This is just crucial and key.

This is kind of the basis of everything for me,

Right?

Of running a business,

This podcast,

Having children,

My life,

Self-worth,

All of it is connecting to a higher power.

Connecting in to the divine,

The universe,

To God,

However you call it,

Your higher self,

Whatever that is for you.

Great word for me every day,

But that higher power,

Something greater than you,

That infinite intelligence of love,

Of light,

Right?

The divine matrix,

Whatever that might be for you,

Tapping into that,

Really feeling a connection that you're not alone.

And whatever that looks like for you,

For me,

I have a practice in the morning and I can share it with you.

This is what I do and this helps me.

Number one,

When I wake up,

The first thing I like to do is sort of in that dreamy state is I like to look out the window and just notice what I'm appreciating and feel that connection to something greater than myself.

And right away,

I ask that higher power,

Please guide me today.

Help me,

Help me today to be my best self.

So right away,

When I wake up,

That's one of the first things that I do,

Try to put my hand on my heart and connect in to a higher power.

I also have a practice.

I have certain prayers and offerings and vision statements that I read and I'll read those and then ask for this higher power to help guide me to be a channel,

To be an emissary of a greater divine intelligence.

It helps me to do it right away in the morning.

I can tell you I've done a lot of research here and it's a whole different day when I don't do that.

So I like to do that right away.

And then I do,

For me,

I do practice the heart math work.

I have an inner balance and I love using that and it helps me to stay in heart coherence.

I've been practicing that twice a day,

But I like that in the morning.

And just remembering that as I'm practicing my heart coherence,

I like to think about sending love to the greater planet,

The cosmos,

The universe,

And getting that love sent back to me.

And then lastly,

I like to do,

When I have time,

It's called two-way prayer or intuitive journaling where I just literally write,

Hey,

Higher power,

What would you have me know today?

And I just,

I pause,

I listen and I write.

I write down what I write here.

And that's my routine.

That's what works for me.

Sometimes I do it in a really shortened version because I don't have time.

It's like,

You know,

A minute of each,

But it's just that taking that moment to connect in to something greater than myself before I go out into life.

So I am hoping that that is helpful for you.

And I would just say,

Make that your own.

How would you connect to the divine,

To God,

To higher power,

To the universe?

It doesn't have to be fancy.

It doesn't have to be lengthy.

What I will tell you though,

And what I've noticed both again for myself and many of the people I've worked with and just over time,

Is the more that I connect into something greater than me,

To the higher power,

To infant intelligence,

The more I feel like,

Number one,

I'm not alone.

Number two,

I'm reminded that just as I am connected to this incredible light and love,

How are you,

And that there's something greater going on here and that I can choose to come from fear,

From love,

Or from light.

And then I'm reminded I'm choosing love and light,

I'm choosing that.

I'm choosing to feel this higher power has got me.

And this is not a perfect practice.

There are times I don't always feel it.

And in the day,

You know,

In the moments when I don't,

Because sometimes during the day I might have something happen that it's upsetting or lose my patience with my child or whatever happens,

A client decides not to work with me and it's kind of sad or,

You know,

I didn't end the day the way I wanted to,

I'm not feeling 100% my best.

What I do is in those moments,

I go back to connecting to my higher power,

Hand on my heart,

Just take a breath,

You know,

Every now and then get my journal out if I have it,

Maybe make a note in my phone,

Or just take a moment to breathe.

And just to connect back to ground in and say,

You know,

I am here,

I am turning my will and my self over to you.

And I'm going to trust you're going to guide me and I'm going to get quiet and know that I'm safe and that I'm protected and guided and loved.

And that has helped to build my self worth so much,

I cannot even tell you.

The truth is,

It's helped me to feel like I'm never alone.

It's helped me to feel like what I'm doing is of greater service.

And that I'm co-creating with something greater than me,

The infinite.

And here's the thing,

My friend,

Each of us,

We're all from the same creator.

We all are from the same infinite intelligence,

Divine matrix,

The universe,

The creator of all,

We're all from that.

And so I know if this can help me,

It can help you.

And I would love to hear what has helped you to increase your self worth?

What are you going to choose from this list of five?

Maybe you're like,

I'm doing all five,

Julie.

Maybe you're like,

No,

I'm taking one.

Just notice how you're,

What feels right?

What feels a good place to start?

But even if you start with one of these tips,

So we talked about today,

Just to give you a quick recap,

Saying no,

My friend,

This has been a hard,

Hard one for me.

I have taken a long time to learn how to do this.

But learning to say no,

Number two,

Be impeccable,

Be meticulous,

Be elegant with your word,

Especially with yourself,

What you're saying to yourself.

Number three,

Forgive yourself.

Please start forgiving yourself.

Yes,

Forgiving others,

But start with you.

Okay,

Number four,

Focus on your strengths.

Become someone that focuses on your strengths and that of others.

Look for the strengths in others.

The more you practice doing this with yourself,

The more you can do this with others.

I really believe this is,

All of what I'm sharing are ways that we're going to change our world.

I really do.

And lastly,

Connect in to a higher power.

Find a way to connect or to align yourself or to,

You know,

It might just be a moment of,

You could even say like,

Your will,

Not mine,

Or I'm here to co-create or just allow me to get past my human mind and allow the divine mind.

Let me see this in the divine mind.

Let me see this in divine order.

Okay,

That has helped me just beyond,

Beyond words.

And the thing I will just remind you is,

This has helped me,

Is to remember,

You know,

The world is like a mirror,

Right?

So whatever I'm seeing in somebody else really is a reflection of what's within me,

Right?

And so if there's a lack of,

If there's a judgment in somebody else,

Then it's something I need to look at within me.

And I can tell you,

The more you practice building your own self-worth,

Your own self-efficacy and confidence,

The more you're going to be able to be grounded.

It's healing for your nervous system,

Your body,

Your mind.

It's going to help you in all kinds of situations and allow you ultimately to come from a place of love and from being grounded,

Being grounded in who you are in your USTU.

So I hope this was helpful.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and your feedback.

Please do share this with anyone you think could really benefit from working on increased self-worth.

And as always,

My friend,

I'm so honored to be here,

To be on this journey with you,

All about coming back home to your USTU and remembering that you have everything you need within.

I'm so grateful for you.

I love you.

And here is to increase self-worth,

Remembering the incredible divine being you are,

And to always,

Always knowing you are enough,

Just as you are.

Here is to your USTU.

Lots of love.

I'm so honored to be a part of your journey.

Thank you for listening to this episode,

And I hope it inspires you to remember who you really are and who you chose to be in this lifetime.

If you're interested in becoming your USTU,

I would love to guide you.

Please check out my website for additional information on how we can work together.

And if you feel moved,

Please subscribe,

Rate,

And review this podcast so that more big-hearted individuals can find these inspiring conversations.

Here's to being and loving your USTU.

Reviews

Awesome information and steps to help me be myself. Thank you!

Thank you so very much! I feel and practice much of what your saying, yet still struggle. When I say what’s in my soul it gets put down as being wrong and I should take off my rose colored glasses. I too have a grand trine in water as well as grand cross. So I came here to know opposition. I know I’m devinly supported/guided loved. Thank you

Very interesting! Some good points to look at and to put into practice! Thank you!

Amazing as always. Thank you Julie. You are a light ✨️