Healing Boundaries | Stay Grounded Within | Meditation

In this session, we explore how to stay grounded in your own energy and sense of self when others around you are in a different space. We discuss the common pattern of "matching energies", bringing yourself down to meet others where they are and why staying in your own truth is what actually creates love, connection, and safety.

The session includes a teaching, a guided tapping-inspired practice to release the charge around weak boundaries and fear of being yourself, followed by a gentle meditation to help you embody strong boundaries, self-trust, and the knowing that you are worthy and deserving of love exactly as you are.

Jamie has many certifications which you can view on her profile. From learning so many mind body tools over 15 years, she is well versed in tapping, but does not hold a certificate in this modality.

If you enjoyed this track, Jamie's Course, Profound Healing Through Self Love would be amazing next step to go deeper.

Transcript

Beautiful. So boundaries. There's lots on this topic. I'm going to speak to one aspect of it. When we aren't taught proper boundaries when we're young. Yes, No, Sense of self, This is what I want, This is what I need, Not letting people into that space or infiltrate that space and we're taught or we grow up in trauma or anything like that, Then we are taught to people please to get our needs met. We're not taught that I can say no and still be loved. I can have my own opinions. I can have my own autonomy and still be loved. So we create all of these unhealthy, Innocent, Supportive, When we're young, Defense mechanisms. So the part of boundaries that I want to talk about now is. Learning to stay in your own space when you feel good or when you have this knowing within yourself, So sense of self. So let's just use an example. Say you're happy. This is a good COVID example. Say you're happy and you feel guilty about being happy. I know I deal with that too. You feel you're in your own space. You have this inner knowing that I feel good. I'm not hurting anybody. And there's a part of you that feels funny being there. You're talking to somebody that's going through it. And you innocently allow them to come into your space and you bring yourself down to meet them at their energy. Because you feel uncomfortable staying grounded in you. And you don't have a strong sense of boundary, So you let them come in. So what's actually more? Effective and useful is to just become super aware of this pattern. It's really common. Really common, I call it in the psychic world, I call it matching energies. Especially if you're a sensitive soul. So we're not taught, Hey, It's okay to be quiet. It's okay. You know, It's okay to Have your emotions. It's okay to have your own opinions. It's okay to be happy when others aren't. Whatever you're experiencing, It's okay. Whether it's imperfect or whatever, It's okay and it's still lovable, Your wide variety of experience. So if we're not taught that, Then what we do is we disengage from our energy, Wherever we are, And we meet energies around us. Now we can do this to the people that live in our space. We can do this to coworkers. We can do this with collective consciousness. I remember once, So I ran this retreat in Ojai last year, Actually, Right at this time. That's so weird. I just mentioned it. It was the beginning of February last year, Right before all this happened. Feeling so happy when I came home. My heart was full. My I just was vibrating in such a beautiful way. We didn't have cell phones. We were eating good food. We were meditating. We were just hanging out in the hot tub. It was just a blast. And I remember going to the grocery store when I came home. And I remember walking into the grocery store in LA. And the energy, And again, This isn't wrong or right or bad or good, People are where people are. But I just remember walking past all these people that were just kind of robotically, I could feel their energy. We're just kind of shopping and. . . And I started to notice I was coming out of where I was and I was kind of matching the energy of the grocery store. You just stand out like a sore thumb. So I decided to. . . Now, If we're not consciously aware of it, It's because I bet you do it all the time. We're so afraid of being judged, Of being different than, That we don't stay in wherever we are. And wherever we are is safe. Now, The irony of it is we're so afraid of being unloved or rejected or outcast or whatever, Or different, Or we have our own boundary. But we're unloving ourselves, We're abandoning ourselves, We're rejecting ourselves. When we come to meet other people's energy where they are. So it's just noticing, It's becoming radically aware. Being really true to yourself, How you feel inside, Trusting yourselves, And not letting people come in to wherever you are, Knowing that it's okay where you are. You're lovable where you are, You're allowed to be where you are, And they're allowed to be where they are. But you don't have to match them in order to connect. You can stay where you are and still connect. This has been a huge lesson for me. So hopefully this speaks to some of you because I know it's painful. When we try to go around and morph ourselves and control ourselves and match energies to love and to connect, It's, Wait a minute. No amount of doing that is going to help me be loved, To help me connect, To help me stay safe. We're relearning appropriate boundaries of, Oh, It's being myself that makes me feel loved and safe. With myself, With my source, And with those that are in alignment with authentic me. So let's do a tapping around this. Let's do a healing. And then move into the meditation. Let's take a deep breath. Place your hands on your heart if you want. Let everything go. Feel your butt on the ground. You're tiny, As I used to say when I was little. Okay. For apparently I say at 37 too. I feel like a hiney on the ground. My dad used to say, Hiney on the ceiling. He'd hold me upside down and put my butt on the ceiling. Hiney on the ceiling. Okay, So on a scale of one to ten. Where do you feel? So 10 being strongest, One being. Weakest. 10 being the strongest, One being the weakest. Where do you feel on this? There's two things here. So where do you feel about your lack of boundaries, Your inability to stay strong in your sense of self, To say no to things that don't resonate, To say yes to you? Maybe it's a different number, But to me, It's probably the same thing. Where do you feel like, Oh yeah, 10 being, I totally know what you're talking about, Jamie. I. . . I lose myself and I come and match energies to make myself and others feel comfortable and be loved and connect and all of that stuff and don't stay true where I am. So just number it. Okay, So holding that number in your mind, We're going to Trust me for a minute and see how you feel. All we're doing is releasing charges around our pain. Clearing energy and then moving into. A new energy, A healthier energy. Really common if you get emotional, Really common to yawn, Sigh, Sway. Usually not crying, But like your eyes will release tears. Totally normal, Okay? So let's tap. On the sides of the hands, This is called the karate chop point. And we're just sending. These are points. And they're sending good feelings signals to the brain saying you're safe. You can feel this and release this now. So healing. So you're just tapping on these points, Even if it looks weird, Trust me. And you're going to say out loud, We're just processing what's been stuck in us. So it's like, This might've been icy. We're melting the ice right now. So repeating after me out loud, Even though. I don't have a strong sense of self. Which makes me have weak boundaries sometimes. I don't fully trust myself, So I come down to meet other people where they are. And I don't feel fully lovable. I'm worthy and deserving of love, Which makes me lose my center and match others where they are. But I love and accept myself anyway. Even though. I match others' energies instead of staying in my own. Because they don't have a strong sense of boundaries. I love and accept myself anyway. Even though. I'm afraid that I won't be accepted and loved if I am myself. So I match other people to be able to connect. I love and accept myself anyway. Deep breaths. Following along with me on the points, Tapping on the top of the head. So we're gonna say the negative round first and then the positive round. Trust me, We're clearing energy right now, Okay? I have a really tough time with boundaries. Side of me. I wasn't taught it when I was little. Or side of the act, And it makes me feel helpless. Under the eye feel so helpless. Under the nose, It feels wrong to be myself. And it feels weird to say no to people. Feel like I will be hurting them or make them feel uncomfortable. I stay where I am. Center of the chest, Needing to match their energies. Do you feel love? To feel safe, To feel connected. Side of the body right under the armpit. All this need to match their energies, It feels awful to think about staying grounded in me. Top of the head, All this lack of self-trust. I don't trust myself. To what I need. To what's right and to what's wrong. So I place all of my authority in them. And I lose myself there. Side of the eye and that's really scary. Makes me really anxious. Really consumed with others' energies. Don't know how to get out. Underneath the eye. Wasn't taught this. That makes me angry. Underneath the nose, This need to match their energies to fit in. You need to belong. Can't stand out. I'm going to be rejected from the pack and all alone. Felt that before and I don't want to feel that again. Chest, I need to fit in. That's what I need. I need to fit in. I can't be a unique individual. I will stand out. People will judge me. They won't like me. And I don't like those feelings. I want to be loved and accepted and approved of. Deep breath. All this lack of boundaries. Underneath the arm. I don't trust myself. Never have, I trust them and their opinions of me. I don't know my needs. I'm not worthy and deserving of having them anyway. Eyebrow, I need to match their energies to fit in. Not worthy and deserving of being loved as me. With my boundaries. Being unique and autonomous, Able to say yes and no. And still be loved. So I need to morph and chameleon myself. To fit in, To be loved, Because I haven't learned another way. Deep breath. Great work, Let it go. All right, Positive round, This is fun. So let's tap the wrists together. What if. . . I've never needed to match their energies. Come down to where people are. Instead of bring them up to where I am. And I just didn't know it. Up in the head. What if it's safe? To have my wants and needs met. Down to the eyebrow, What is? It's okay to stay grounded in me. Now people come to me. What if it's okay to be a unique? Autonomous, Individual. What if there is a safe way to say no? What if there's a safe way to say yes to me? What if I'm worthy and deserving of all of that and I just wasn't taught it? And because I wasn't taught, It doesn't mean I'm not worthy and deserving of it. Just boundaries aren't really taught that much in this world. What if I am worthy and deserving of love? In my truth. In my own energy. Following myself, Knowing, My inner knowing, My self-trust. What if that's a possibility? And because I didn't know that, I'd just been kind of living in this old program. Through the arm. I would love to be worthy and deserving of love as myself. Grounded where I am. Sometimes being rejected, Judged. Making others uncomfortable. But that's okay. I don't want to be friends with those people anyway. And not everyone's gonna disappear from my life when I'm my authentic self and I have these boundaries and I stay grounded in me. I'm going to attract those in alignment with my truth. I'm gonna find what I've been craving all along. Love. And acceptance. And peace. Fulfillment. But if it's safe to stay grounded where I am. What if others can heal? What if others are okay? When I am where I am, They are where they are. What if we could still connect there? I've seen that possibility in the world. There's examples of it in my life underneath your arm. So I'm going to choose a new way nervous system. And I'm an adult now, So. Let's test this out and maybe you can relax and we can find a new way, Nervous system. Top of the head. I choose to stay grounded in my truth. Cause that feels nice. Because that's safe. Because I'm lovable. And I'm worthy and I'm deserving as me. Even if I wasn't told it. I'm choosing to see that now. Choosing to heal anything that was in the way of that. I'm choosing to know that I'm safe in my own energy. Trusting myself. Saying no when it feels right. Saying yes to me when it feels right. And that if people leave me there, They weren't meant to be mine in the first place. I will never leave me. And I'm more than deserving of being in alignment with people. That loves me. And me isn't perfect. Me is imperfect, Because I'm a human. Mean is messy. Light, Dark. Lotional happy, Sad, All the things. That is worthy and deserving of love. It's just honest, It's just raw, It's authentic. And it's me and I am safe to be me now. There you go. I am safe. To exist in my own energy field. Not going down to others to connect. I'm choosing to stay grounded where I am. And choosing to know that strong boundaries are safe. Doesn't mean I'm keeping people out. Strong Boundaries allows me to let those that I choose in. I have this inner wisdom inside of me that guides me. Moment to moment with my boundaries. And I'm open and willing to learn. But I choose to know that I'm lovable. Could choose to know that I am worthy. Deserving. I choose to know that it's safe to stay in my own space. And I choose to know that I will be an incredible healing presence in the world. When I stay grounded in the light. I don't go down to others. I let them come to me. And I trust myself. I trust those inner knowings and nudges. To guide me to stay put. And I follow the quote. Don't let others pull you into their storm. Pull them into your piece. I like the sound of that. And if that's possible nervous system, Let's look for proof of that. All right, I'm not gonna let others pull me into their storms. I want to pull them into my piece. And I'm safe there. To do that. I'm connected there and I'm loved there. And I belong there. I love to go down to pain to belong and be loved. No amount of matching low energies will get me love. Connected, Or healed. Staying grounded in my piece. Pulling others up just by osmosis to where I am. Is the healer. Is where I am safe. And that feels good. I'm open to this. That feels good. Deep breath. Let it go. Gorgeous. I want you to close your eyes, Let the energy settle. On a scale of one to 10, Where are you feeling now? With needing to come down. To feel whatever you need to feel. Feeling afraid of having strong boundaries. Where's your number come down to 10 being strongest, Zero being, Nah, It doesn't bother me at all anymore. So you might have brought yourself down to such a low number. You've cleared this, Which is gorgeous. You might feel like you need to do this a few more times. Beautiful, Really common. If this resonates with you. Over this week, You can tap on a similar script, Stream of consciousness, Intuitive, Whatever comes out of your mouth until you feel it's gotten down to a zero, One or two. And you'll notice the energies around you. In your outside world, Start coming in to meet this new energetic vibration where you are after clearing from the tapping. Pretty cool stuff. So get comfortable in your space for the meditation. Go ahead and can sit up or lay down. Let's relax. Put your hiney on the ceiling, Whatever you want to do. Beautiful. You are in the safest space right now. You do not need to think about work. For the next 15 minutes of your life. Give yourself permission. To unhinge, To unravel. To let go, To be, To heal. We are. Falling out. That's what we're doing. We've been going and a direction for a really long time. In all innocence, It's the safety mechanisms in our brain that do it. But when we wake up from them and we see, Ah, I wonder if there's another way. We see examples of it in the world. So we were like, Well, I guess there is another way. And then bit by bit we fall out. And so you go slow and you go gently as always. Not needing to time or pressure yourself. Like an ice cube that isn't in a hurry to melt, She melts. He calls out eventually. Feel into that. Body connected to the ground. A gentle breeze moving through. You hear the birds outside and the sun coming through the curtains. And ease in your heart. I am not the pain of that which came before me. I am the light. I am the observer of the pain, The healer of the pain. The experiencer of the pain. Today here. In this moment. I am the light. I feel the density of my body melt down below me. Let the physical body soften as if An elixir of golden softening light moves in above the head. Travels through the face, The jaw. The throat. The chest, The belly. Nothing to force, It's almost like you're wiggling from one reality to the other, Bouncing around. Nothing to push away or force into or stop, It's just. I'm leaning away from you. And then leaning into the new, Testing it out. A gentleness about you. Nothing to get right. Grand exploration of your soul. The elixir of softening light moves down. All the way through the legs and the feet, Pouring into the earth, Taking with it that which you are ready to release today. I want you just to notice if there is an area of your body carrying a little bit more tension. And with non-judgment. Just going to see to it. It's okay to soften little one. Just a little bit. And soften a little bit, Little one. At the speed of water melting from ice. That part of the body just wide open and exposed to the sun. Letting it melt with your healing presence. Nice soft body. I didn't go out meeting to control the mind. As for right now, During our time together, We let it be. A radio playing in the background. I needn't stop this. Just learning to have a new relationship to it. I need value it if it tells me something mean. There is a deeper feeling inside. That I'm seeking, Not an emotion. But a feeling of truth, That, That is what I value. That is what runs my life. Not the programs. Observe those. To let them go. I turn the volume down and I. . . I wiggle a little bit deeper. I unravel with every breath. I soften. I will send. And I settle within myself right now. The quietness. Of the sun making shapes on the curtain. The birds and the bugs outside and the dog asleep on the sofa. Just this moment of pure life potential. Chance to start all over when we leave the past behind. I am not that which came before me, I am the light. And I'm setting the intention today. To create strong boundaries. Cultivate a sense of self-trust. To know when to say yes and no. And to knowing that I can do that. Through a space of love. Intending to find a deep sense of self. Knowing that it is safe and normal to be unique. Authentic. Vulnerable. And really feeling energetically now. You in your own space. Not needing to go to meet others in pain to match energies. But simply to be in your truth, In your knowing, In your inner trust. In your authentic expression in the moment. And you are radiance. And allow that to be enough. Allowing that to be healing. Feeling in. You. I will not allow others to pull me into their storms. I pull them into my piece. Maybe it helps you to say that sentence. Maybe it helps you to feel the energy of that. You have this strong fortress of light. Right in your belly, Expanding out around your whole body. Your boundary. That is flexible, Your worth and deservedness because you are alive. This is what I know. This is what I trust. There is an inner teacher that will guide me to when to say no and yes if I open my mind to seeing it, Feeling it. From this expanded place of light, This boundary, This fortress, This safety. I stand grounded in this sense of self. Deeply embodying. I will not let them get this. Pull me into its storm. That is not where love is. Connection. Safety. And worthiness lives. It lives in staying grounded in this life. And drawing them into my piece. Not by doing. But by being. And as you feel ready, Knowing that you can always come back to these inner explorations at any time. You can bring this world with you to your outer world. As you gradually begin to become aware of your body on the ground. I am connected to my furniture. And I'm right behind my eyes. And I'm planted inside in my body. I feel that I'm inside of the top of my head, To the base of my spine, To my fingertips, To my toes. Right in there. Nice and soft on the ground. In the realm. On the urn. Breathing into the body. Expanding the lungs and the belly. As you release. Whatever you came to let go of today, One more deep inhale and exhale as you gradually bring your awareness and energy back. So right here. And starting to stretch, Wiggle, Move your way back. Opening your eyes whenever you're ready.