Boundaries & Inner Wisdom Meditation

Explore the natural, innate system of boundaries that lives within each of us. This teaching and guided meditation explores how our yeses and nos are not rigid rules but a flexible, invisible guidance system that moves with the present moment. Learn to distinguish between anxiety-driven thinking and the quiet wisdom of your inner knowing, and discover that boundaries were never something you had to learn, they were always within you, unbroken by trauma, ready to guide you home.

Transcript

It's so beautiful. So yes, We're in an emotional dark age where our society lacks emotional intelligence. It's not that we're bad, It's not that we're stupid, It's not that we're wrong. We've just been moving in a direction that doesn't respect, Understand, Just doesn't understand emotions, Doesn't understand boundaries, Doesn't understand. Um. . . What's natural in the human system, As simple and psychological as it is. So I was part of this discussion about around boundaries. Um, That was really helpful for me because it can get very intellectual. You can get very rigid with it. I know for me personally, It's like, Well, No, This is my boundary. So it's strict. Every single time I'm in this situation, I need to have my boundaries and I need to respect myself and I need to. You know, Do this thing. So on one level, Yes. But I think what's more important to articulate here today is that We're always only living in the present moment. So two days before, If we take our analytical, This is my boundary thing into two days after. And we have a completely different situation in the present moment. We're trying to paste on something we learned from our brain onto this situation. Might go over well, It might not. For me, It always brought about a lot of anger and a lot of things like I'm putting this thing and I'm confused and I don't know what to do and then you feel like. Closed off or too open in your mind. Um. . . But to know, This is the part I wanted to articulate, Boundaries can change. Based on the present moment. So if you're just aware of, Let me check in with myself. Right now. How do I feel about this situation right now? For example, This might be a silly example. My boyfriend's really sick right now, So I'm taking care of him. If he's on the up and up, You move past the icky phase feeling a lot better. Um. . . There was one thing that happened yesterday that was normally I would have been like, Excuse me, You don't do that with me. But based on that present moment, There was a thing in me that went. Even though he was like hearing fine and eating up and watching TV. I checked in with myself in that present moment in my inner wisdom, Which we're going to talk about in a second. Was like. Let it go. It isn't about disrespecting you. It isn't about any of that. So knowing that it's natural. That boundaries are flexible. It's an invisible yes and no. That moves with the present moment. So when someone explained it to me, When one of my teachers explained it to me like that. I was like, Oh, This is simple. It's your invisible yes and no. Now, This was also what was huge for me. We look at children. And again, We can think, Oh, I've been messed up. I had this family life because I've had all these thoughts too. I have no boundaries. I don't know what boundaries are. I have to learn about boundaries and implement boundaries. And then it gets really intellectual. But if we look at kids. We look at animals. We look at nature. It's natural to have yeses and noes. That are meant to be respected. But again, That's this whole, We don't have the emotional intelligence that when a kid says, I don't want that food, What do we do? We get into our heads and we get into fear. And we say, No, You need to, You're going to starve and you need those nutrients and whatever we might do. And the kid's turning its face and it's like, I don't want that. And mom's going, Eat that, Eat that. So then we learn. I can't make my own choices. I'm not worthy and this is the big one. Which we'll do a clearing around today. I'm not worthy and deserving of having my boundaries respected because most of us. When we were little and we had our yes. No one came and validated it and helped us facilitate our yeses, So we didn't think we were worthy and deserving of our yeses. Because we thought there was something wrong with us. And we didn't think we were worthy and deserving of our nose because they were overridden constantly. And if you look at this in the animal world, Like I have to be careful constantly with my dog. You'll probably, If any of you have cats or dogs or other animals. You'll notice that sometimes you'll be in their face or you'll go to pet them and they'll be like this. They'll move their head. That's their boundary. Not right now, Mom. Not right now, Dad. Well, What do we do? You're not worthy and deserving of having your boundary respected. Now look, We have to come at this with so much compassion for ourselves because this isn't something we learn. We don't learn to respect our own. We don't learn to respect others, But the simplicity for me, Which is why I'm so passionate about sharing this today. That it's in you. You don't have to think about it. You don't have to figure it out. Maybe what you do want to do is be open to, Hey, I'd like to start to open my lens to be more aware of my yeses and nos. Because they're 100% safe. And custom tailored. Now what happens is the breed. Comes in and goes, Well, I can't agree with my yeses and nos, Or I will be loved. That's like our primal, Because that was what happened to us when we were little. Like, Well, If I went into the other room and didn't eat the food mom wanted me to eat or if I you know, Said, Well, I'm going with. In a dance class, Because I'm following my yes and mom was like, No, You're not allowed to leave the house. You start to create this stuff. But this is where we say to ourselves, I'm an adult now. We thank. Our mind, Our defense mechanisms for keeping us safe. Thank you for protecting me when I needed you to, Like we talk about in all the other meditations and classes. But I'm. Calling my power back. In my sovereign free will now. And I realize whether I didn't realize it or not. Innate in me from little love. I've had yeses and nos working for me all the time. Now here's the cool thing about your yeses and nos, They can't be damaged. They can't be traumatized out of you. It doesn't matter how much trauma we've had. That stuff hides the S's and O's, We can't hear them as much. But there are things innate to humanity. That are divine, That are standard, That are spiritual, That are in every human being. That when we just open our lens to okay. I'm going to start looking for what a yes feels like, What a no feels like, Sense into it, And start to test the waters of I'm an adult now. I'm not going to be eradicated from the tribe. I'm not going to be unloved. Not going to be abandoned. I remember I actually had a coach years ago. This is a cool story. She was chronically ill. She had a similar story of what I went through, But she had everything you can imagine, Lyme disease, And she had early onset amnesia and all sorts of crazy stuff. Um, And she realized hers was this fear of being left behind. So she was always this mom that was trying to like, Be the best mom and show everybody that she had it all together and her kids had everything they needed and et cetera, Et cetera. But she was really, Really, Really, Really sick. And one day she had this insight. She woke up to this truth that was inside of her. And she realized that either she could pick continuing to fight to not be left behind. Or she could let go of resisting her worst fear. Of okay. I'm afraid of being. Left behind because I'm afraid of being abandoned and unloved. So bring it on, World. Okay, I give myself permission to be abandoned and unloved. Cause then you're not doing all this stuff and resistance too. To what you're afraid of. So, Because the brain is going to protect us in all these situations. Anyway, Long story short, She healed. She healed and her body came within 10 days. Her symptoms started going away. Her body got out of fight or flight. Her nervous system could relax. Because she wasn't in resistance anymore. Now her brain. Was constantly telling her, You're going to be unloved, You're going to be abandoned. And if we can, Whatever our greatest fear is, If we go towards it, Because newsflash, It's not going to happen. Maybe some people will have it in us. Maybe some people will. Not love us. But those states of being live inside of us, No one can take the love away from us, No one can take the connection away from us to our divinity, No one can take joy away from us because it lives inside of us, But our brain thinks it lives outside of us. So we do these crazy things. That story came up just to articulate the point that. You know, It's safe for us to follow our yeses and nos. And whatever reason we're afraid to follow our boundaries, We all have them. And we all have valid reasons, You know? I grew up with alcoholism in my family. I was terrified of anger. I'm going to do the things I'm going to do and not follow my stuff to stay safe. Like, I don't want to cause it. Fight or whatever it is and your reasons are your reasons. But when you can say, Okay, Worst case scenario, Bring it on. I'm gonna go, You know. I'm going to cause a conflict. I'm not in resistance to that anymore. The opposite of what we're afraid of happens. We come alive. For years, I did not feel safe. That was my word. I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe. My friends are like, Why do you always keep saying that? Um. . . And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. I just don't feel safe. I don't know what that is. And I came to realize through this journey of boundaries that I was never taught. It's safe, There's a thing in you that guides you, That has your back. Your higher self, Your soul, Your connection to source, God, Divinity. Quantum field of science, Whatever we want to call it. And when we know we have this like safety net to like. Rest in that we always have a yes, That we always have a no, That no matter our trauma or our brains right now before we fix this thing. There's something there keeping us safe, Giving us answers, Telling us what we need. That started going away for me because that was what I was looking for. But I was more, Okay, But no, I can't not be loved and I can't not be abandoned. So I've got to screw with my boundaries. But if you, If you look for it. Your yeses and your nos are there. So today, All we're gonna do is just open our mind. To our yeses and our noes. Allow ourselves to start to get a sense of it. We'll ask our body, What do they feel like? It's gonna kind of be an exploration meditation and we'll move into that direction. So I want to share one other little quick story because we have a little bit more time today. You know, Boundaries is something I've been really zeroing in on the last couple of weeks. And it was so hard for me, But it, But I'm sharing this because to give you permission to do something that might be hard for you, There was, And I probably only sent this. There's a lot of vulnerable information in this episode. So there's a woman that I met who's an amazing woman. Um, And she's running for office and, Um, I had been going to a bunch of her events and for some reason we were like, Let's just do some stuff together. We can team up and I can teach some meditation and do a spiritual talk. And then she can talk about activism and conscious politics and all of this. So for weeks, The schedules have been clashing. Somebody couldn't meet here. No, We can't meet in person. I know we have to change it over the phone. So yesterday I really tuned in because of this boundaries thing. And all along it felt like a no, But it was so subtle. That I overrode it for whatever reason of, I don't want her to feel rejected. When you promise somebody something, You can't say no. This is somebody in your wheelhouse. What? All that. But I'm learning to respect, Because this is how we facilitate a massive amount of peace and safety in ourself and self-trust, Is to begin to honor it no matter how scary. And so I thought, You gotta be brave, You gotta honor yourself. So I wrote her a message yesterday and I said, You know, I'm setting boundaries right now and learning to honor my yeses and nos. And I said, You are so lovely and I enjoy our friendship, But for some reason, It doesn't feel aligned with me to go forward and create something together, Even though I said that. And I wasn't even fully tuned in to that awareness yet. And now it's becoming more clear to me. I said, So I think it's because I have so much other stuff on my plate right now, That spirit is wanting me to just focus on creating these things and not put my energy in other directions. I hope you understand, Sending you love. Now, I haven't heard back from her. But I'll tell you my body was like. Didn't want to do that. You know how many times we do stuff we don't want to do? I'm not abandoned. I'm not unloved. Maybe this lady is going to be like, Ew, But. I don't have to put myself through months of planning and marketing and creating this event. That's subtle. It was just a subtle. I don't really wanna. We know our yeses and our nos, And they're safe to follow. That's the. The limbic system trauma loop and I've learned, And we'll get a reference point for your no today in the meditation, Hopefully. I just learned the difference in feeling. So anxiety, Because that was my past, Was really a lot of anxiety. Anxiety isn't. Isn't a no. I mean sometimes like you know if you're In rare situations, If you really have like an emergency situation and fears there, Yes. But we know the difference between that fear, Like if you're grabbing a person from stepping out into the middle of the street and you feel that fear, That wise fear, As opposed to just spinning anxious fear. So 99% of the time. When you feel anxiety, It's not your note. You're knowing your yes could live below the anxiety, So they're happening at the same time. But you can say, You know, Thanks anxiety, But I'm going to wait until I feel so the no and the yes don't have thinking around it. They come. I call it Claire's which I think we've talked about probably like a year ago and we can do another session on the Claire's but. We get a knowing. We get an image. We hear. Um we feel or we sense so those are our psychic intuitive deeper yeses and nos so like a yes usually feels. Like we have a forward motion to it, An expansiveness, A hopefulness. It feels almost like a common sense, Like, Yeah, Like there's nothing on it. It's just like a clear duh wise here. Same with the no, It's just like, Nah. Not, Oh my God, If I don't do this, I won't be respected and people are gonna think I'm rude and whatever else is going on. So you just start to get to know the difference and inner wisdom is never anxiety, Which for me, When I heard that, Cause I used to think my anxiety was trying to tell me something and then I was scared to let it go cause I thought it was serving me until I realized that's the part that's just a really, Really, Really bad habit. Because we live in an emotional, Intelligent, Dark age, And we don't know we have the no, So our brain's going, Well, I need to take care of her, Because she doesn't know she has the yes and the no, So we got to go on this computer program and make sure that she's safe. It's cool our bodies intelligently working for us that way. Sometimes anxiety presents itself as intuition, But it's not totally. And the intuition is always underneath of it. Um. . . And that's a thing that we learn over time to really get a feel for those feelings. And decipher it. These things that I'm speaking about too, Like my teachers would say this to me for years, It's a felt sense. Like I can speak to it, I'm pointing to something that I saw and I'm saying like saw as in with a capital S with my spiritual eyes, With my inner eyes. It's one of those insights inside where you're like, Oh, That's that. It's like it dawns on you. So we, As much as we have these intellectual conversations, Our brain can't comprehend what I'm speaking of. But spirit to spirit, Your energy field to mind wakes up to it and you get a sense of it and you start to like it. Experiment in your life and you're like, Oh my God. These are my no's and these are my yes's. And every time I trust them, Nothing bad happens. So it's an experiential experience, If that is such a thing. Aha moment, Insight. Wisdom, Common sense, Which is they're like, Yeah, We have them all day. Learning. You know, Learning, But not from the brain where we remember something where we're like, Oh yeah. That's how our boundaries reveal. Our movable boundaries to keep us safe. All right, Let's do a 15-minute meditation. This is perfect timing. This is exactly as I was envisioning. Can just. Close your eyes and. Lay down or sit up and get comfortable in your space. Okay, So just get your wiggles out. Eyes are closed, You're comfortable. You know, We're taught to. I've been on this journey too in the past, Try really hard. To figure things out, To do stuff. And sometimes that has its time and place, But what's been so healing for me is to start to wake up. To what's natural in human beings. Part of our design. What are the gifts that we come equipped with, All of us, Regardless of our unique gifts which we all have, But what are just human gifts we all get? Oh, We get the gift of boundaries. How does that two-year-old know? How to say yes and no without mom and dad teaching it yet. That's in that child, That's in us, That's innate. Like peace is innate, Joy is innate, Wisdom, This stuff we're talking about, This yeses and nos, Innate. Desire, Wanting, Creation. Innate. We might not see it all the time because we respect our thinking over our innate gifts. But if we look for it, We start to see it and we're like, Oh, Okay, I can relax into this. This is here to catch me, To hold me. Use this system. I can use this manual to my benefit. So see if you can. Allow yourself to relax a little bit into this. System that is holding you. A lot of times we don't feel held. Because we're running in our brain and we don't realize that When we fall back, There's this net to catch us. There's this. Comfort, These pillows. And holding on so tight, And of course we are, Because we're scared to let go. But when we let go just a little bit and we open our minds to, I wonder what's here to hold me. You don't have to be stupid or. . . Radical. We can just look. And just. Open our minds and be curious and so we're safely doing that today. Opening your mind. Opening our perception to. I wonder if I've had these yeses and nos that are keeping me joyful and safe and not drained my whole life. Just didn't know to trust them, So I've been in my head. Trying to decipher. How to be a good person and do the right things and all this stuff society taught that is actually draining me, So it isn't actually helping. So I'm gonna learn today. To begin to be the observer. Of the. Anxious thinking that comes. It's trying to control everything. Keep me safe from that level. And I say to it, Thank you. Because you did keep me safe. Because I didn't learn this stuff. It wasn't passed down to me. But there is an adult in the room now. And I want to open to this because I sense there is a peace in it. And the way I feel. A resonance of truth here. And so I allow myself to begin to become more aware of the connection between my body and what's underneath of me. And my belly loosens its grip because I can breathe a little easier right now. And my eyes relax and my face softens because I needn't look a certain way right now. And my breath moves down into my belly. In and out. Because I give my intellect a chance to settle and take a back seat. Today I needn't stare at it in the face. It's okay to experience it and let it come and go and allow my humanity to grow. Energetically. Move through me. But just for today, I needn't stare at it in the face. I needn't figure it all out. So could you just let go of needing to analyze right now? Just right now here with me. To let go of needing to figure it all out. Could you let go of needing to know? To have all the answers. Just all that mind stuff. Could you just feel yourself softening away? From all the programs, Thoughts, And beliefs. Whoops. And have so much compassion for your humanity as we all have that brain. It's just a kaleidoscope that. Looks different for all of us. And you feel yourself settling deeper, More into your being, More into your body, More into this moment here right now. The hum of the fans. The birds outside. Quiet voices outside of your door perhaps. And you allow your body just to relax with these belly breaths. Into the air. Held by this system of play behind the scenes. You just didn't know it was there. Settling into this truth. That you have boundaries, You have yeses and nos. That are movable based on the present moment. Setting the intention to open your mind right now. I choose to be aware of my innate boundaries. My innate yeses and nos. I choose to know that I can trust these more than my mind. Anything that comes as simplicity. Information. Common sense wisdom with nothing on it. That's where I begin to experiment. Worth trusting. That part of me will never hurt me. Will only serve me and others around me. And I'll just begin to get curious and see for myself. And offer myself forgiveness. Understanding and compassion right now. For not knowing how to access it. Or read its language. As I wasn't taught that. And I'm learning. Your body relaxes and let's go a little bit more. Held by the earth, Held by these innate boundaries within you. Unbroken by your human breed. Just taking a few breaths and settling a little bit deeper within. And as we settle in here, We We just ask ourselves with a curiosity, Not necessarily needing the answer to be revealed. Just gonna ask our inner wisdom. A couple of questions, See what dawns on us. We're going to say, Show me an example. Of a time in my life, It could be as simple as grabbing something from the fridge. Choosing to go to one store instead of another. Of a recent intuitive yes in my life. Of an aligned. Action. That made sense to my own heart, That made sense to my own yeses within my boundaries. What was a simple or profound yes in my life? That was safe and reliable, What was that? What did that feel like? How was I aware of that yes in my life? Maybe a friend I knew to be friends with? Anything. See what pops into your mind. So what does my yes feel like to me? Just asking your body, When I have a yes. Audie, What does it feel like? Is it a simple? Knowing, Is it a warmth? Is it an obvious? What is that yes feel like? Just tuning into our body. Could be a more stern feeling, Could be a gentle feeling. Just curious. And then just taking that into account, We're just going to ask our body. What does no feel like? Can you show me an example of a recent, Just something I, Not from my brain or anxiety, But I just didn't want maybe a certain food or to eat more. Or I was hungry and didn't eat at all. I was tired and didn't want to go do this thing, Or I knew I needed to get help, And I didn't. I pummeled through. What was a subtle. . . Because no can feel loving, Just kind of like a. Yeah, Feeling of simple, Deeper no. So how does that reveal itself to me? Just keeping our minds open to getting to know these innate yeses and no's and trusting and experimenting as we feel held and safe within as we get to know. Ourselves and the safety that's available to us. As you bring breath back into the belly, Into the body. Aware of the connection between your body and what's underneath of you. Your awareness behind your eyes. You are planted in your body. Soft presence. On the surface. Back in this time and space. Open mind. Taking a couple more deep breaths into the belly. As you slowly transition out into stretching and moving. And opening up your eyes to the morning whenever you're ready.