Shine On & Off The Mat: Why You're Already Worthy

Veronique Ory – dancer, theater founder, yoga guide, and granddaughter of Holocaust survivors – shares one of the most romantic family love stories you’ll ever hear, how intergenerational trauma can become intergenerational strength, and simple daily practices that help us remember: we are already worthy, we can choose joy on purpose, and we don’t need one more thing to shine.

Transcript

Holdenus,

Welcome.

This is Josh of InnerSkills,

And today I have Veronique Ori with me.

Veronique,

What's going on with you today?

Living so wildly and free and so excited to be here.

Thank you for having me.

Ah,

It's my pleasure.

So who is Veronique and what kind of work does she do?

Mm,

Veronique is a woman of probably multiple timeframes,

Namely the 50s and the 20s and probably generations of many timelines.

I have been told that I was a dancer in many lifetimes,

And I come from a line of storytellers.

My grandfather from Hungary was a phenomenal storyteller,

A linguist who spoke five languages and immigrated to Montreal when my dad was 10,

And he was really adept at capturing the story that he wanted to tell,

Whether we were checking out at the grocery store or sitting next to a stranger at the movie theaters.

And I just really loved the energy of bringing people together and sharing a sliver of life and letting there be laughter and tears and the whole spectrum of emotions and seeing how people connected to the narrative and how very much we see ourselves in the heroine or the hero or sometimes the villain and how that's really the origin of how we gathered as humans around the fire and connected in probably one of the most simplest and profound ways.

And so that was the kernel that led me to go to theater school and started my own nonprofit theater company in LA when I was 22 and rounded the bend to New York City and felt like I could do anything because it's a pretty harsh place to live.

And really at the core of it,

It has always been about how do we gather to have thought-provoking experiences where we can shed the things that are weighty?

And a lot of that can be from the crazy families that a lot of us come from to have just social interactions and just living in the world,

Right?

There's that old adage,

If you're not anxious and depressed,

You're not paying attention.

There's a lot to be upset about,

But I aim to lead with joy and wanting to be in relationships and conversations where we elevate one another.

And that was very much what led me into the yoga practice and wanting to really awaken to how we can be really clear on what's actually happening.

And so I often say,

Like,

Can we just be our own ophthalmologist and turn the lens to how we wish to see the world or how we wish to see this person or how we wish to be interacting in this conversation or this moment and how that can really directly influence the way that we are in the energetic space and in the physical space and ultimately how we vibrate are in this frequency that can be that beautiful ripple effect of how our lives can be.

What I love to say is that shine that we can share with one another,

Like through the heartache and all the things that try to convince us that there's a lot to be upset about.

And certainly that exists as well simultaneously.

But through that,

I went through a yoga teacher training and was really compelled to share what had been so transformative in my life personally.

And a lot of us walk around with so much stress and anxiety and we're kind of like in the marathon of it.

So we're like in pace and not fully cognizant of the impact.

And it's usually when we're forced to slow down by global pandemic or an illness or an injury where we can start to really witness how that can play a role.

And so my hope is that we can connect in a way that we can find rest on purpose where we can live a life by design rather than by default.

CB.

That's beautiful.

And one of the biggest things that resonated with what you said was this right view that you talk,

I mean,

In the Buddhist teachings,

It's pretty much everything.

It's where the path starts and ends.

And just reminded of we can't really control a lot of things sometimes that happen to us,

But we can control.

I mean,

We seem to have a say at least in how we view it,

Right?

And then there's wiser views and other views and there are views that are going to be for our benefit and long-term happiness and welfare and that of others and other views that will just keep leading on to delusion and anger and greed and stuff like this that aren't going to be that so helpful.

Yeah.

And that training of the mind,

That helps with a wise view,

A skillful view,

And it can be our greatest ally.

And if we don't train it,

Then it could be our worst enemy.

So I want to do something unconventional here before we get into some of the other things you mentioned is,

Could you tell me a story that your grandfather told you?

Do you remember any?

I would figure you,

If you're in theater,

You might remember one of these.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This,

This is an old arsenal.

He,

He passed away.

Oh gosh.

Probably 20 years ago by now.

Thank you.

He,

This is,

This is actually really remarkable.

So my,

My grandparents and my father's side were survivors of the Holocaust and they would talk about stories of how their family moved through that and the way that they knew how to move through that.

And I don't have a strong imprint on narrative,

But I have a very strong impact on the,

And,

And,

And what's so wild about this is this is like what psychologists talk about as a way to like move through trauma.

And I feel like my grandparents just did this naturally.

Like they stated things as fact without emotion.

So there was never like a victim story.

It was never like,

I'm telling you this like hardship that we had to go through.

It was like,

This happened and this happened and this happened.

And we're so grateful that we're here.

You know,

They,

They came on a boat with the clothes on their back when my dad was only 10 for a promise of a better life.

One story I remember,

So my,

My grandfather owned a vineyard and in those days like that meant like you were rich and my grandmother was very poor.

And when my grandfather was courting her,

He kept showing up on his motorcycle and it was like very fancy.

And this is,

You know,

When he was 18 and she was 16 and,

And she would light up,

You know,

Like,

I can't believe he's interested in me.

And my grandmother's mother said to my grandfather,

What are your intentions with my daughter?

And he said,

Well,

I don't know.

I just,

I like her and I just want to keep showing up.

And she says,

Don't come back here until you can tell me what your intentions are.

And then my grandfather,

My grandfather went away.

My grandmother was just like,

Why would you say that?

He's never going to come back here.

And then a couple of days later he came back and he said,

I want to marry her.

And yeah,

They,

They lived a long life together.

They were soulmates and they just,

I think were like the epitome of just love story where their eyes lit up when they saw one another and,

And,

You know,

Even hearing that story so many times,

It was like,

You know,

You're just transported there.

Do you think that world will ever come again,

That type of world?

You know what I mean?

I was like,

We're just so far,

It feels from that,

You know,

Like the world we live in now,

It just seems,

Yeah,

So far away from that.

Not that we,

Not,

I mean,

That question really has no point right now,

But it's just,

Well,

I think,

I think like in a certain way,

Right.

Like I really believe the podcasts are the modern radio show,

Right.

Where we can just listen in and be,

You know,

Voyeurs so to speak on this conversation.

And,

And my hope is that there's this returning to using the technology as,

As a means of deeper connection versus to distract.

And I think the,

The connection to meeting organically,

To have courtship,

To have the dynamic of,

Of allowing there to be space.

Like,

I do feel like that's coming back because we've been in such a,

Almost like a cyclone of like faster,

More,

Better of,

You know,

Of course,

Like all the dating apps and like these things that have been created of like,

Oh,

Like here is every person in the world that you could possibly connect with.

And I do find that it's so romantic that you continue to show up to the places where your heart lights up.

And of course your soulmate is going to be there.

That's just fate.

You know,

You might meet them on an app,

But I love the story of,

You know,

Someone showing up on a motorcycle at your door and saying,

I'm going to marry her like that.

I mean,

Who doesn't swoon over that?

I mean,

Yeah,

You're definitely dialed into the romantic element and that is the,

I mean,

The most pervasive theme in that story.

What's striking me and,

You know,

You really make a intriguing point here about connection and space.

However,

I'm talking to a computer,

Literally.

I mean,

I'm talking to you virtually,

Right?

So however,

You know,

It makes this more possible.

It's not like I'm probably going to just,

You know,

This pod matching service,

Right,

To find guests and hosts.

You know,

If maybe it will happen where people have the resources to just go in person to do the interview,

But you know,

With our busy lives and everything involved in that,

You know,

That would be like in the rate of life now,

How fast it is,

You know,

I mean,

Let's say,

And they're actually,

There's a really big podcast now where they fly the guest in,

You know,

Person to person,

But this is a convenience.

And so it's kind of a little bit of a mind F to me in a way,

You know,

But it is also really great because who would have thought that we could talk to people all over the world almost instantaneously and have really meaningful in-depth conversations.

But the other thing that popped out of the story for me is like ethics,

You know,

To me,

That's really endearing and upright.

And then he went and reflected,

Right.

He had some like soul searching and really,

You know,

Was forced to,

Yeah,

To do what he did.

And I think that is really honorable and upright and that's,

You know,

So yeah,

What a wonderful story.

Thanks for sharing that.

Yeah.

So yeah.

How do you think maybe some of these,

Some of the themes in that and some,

Maybe some other things your grandparents told you about fit into what you're doing today,

The work in yoga you're doing today,

Maybe.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I think a lot that has come through and this has certainly been talked widely about in the spiritual and wellness space of this intergenerational trauma.

It's very easy to lean into feeling like,

Oh,

And this is a big movement,

Like I'm not worthy,

I'm not enough,

Like all of that stuff.

I mean,

I probably see like a meme about that every single day.

And what's so wild about that is the notion that we're not.

It's like,

We're all born worthy.

Like we wouldn't have been born if we're not worthy of this life.

And,

And to come from survivors,

Like just the notion of that is we are resilient.

We have so much fortitude,

We have so much strength and we have protection all around us that actually ensure that we would be born in this time,

Like with all the technology,

Like sometimes I,

You know,

You know,

Just a couple of days ago,

My father was in town actually,

And we were watching this old clip from Swing Time of just like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers and just like so classy.

And I just like,

Ah,

Like I would dream to be alive during that time.

And also I'm so grateful that we're able to connect in this way.

And I like try to like presence you in my space as much as possible.

Like I have like all the elements around and like feel like if we're going to use this technology,

Like let's also,

You know,

Feel like we're in the same space.

And for everyone who's listening,

It's like,

Yeah,

We're just like all in the same room together.

And we're collapsing time and space to feel like we are in the ways that we know how to.

And so I think allowing for the strength to shine through,

And that's,

You know,

An echo of what I was talking about earlier of like,

Okay,

We could,

And you see this also too in families that have multiple kids,

How like child one tends to be like the optimist and child two is like struggling usually of,

You know,

Like addiction tends to come through.

There's like a lot of like rebellion that comes through and everyone's like,

Wait,

You had the same parents,

You went to the same school,

Like what's going on here?

And it's like,

A lot of it is just subconscious stuff,

Things that you inherited through the generations,

Like things that come through the pike that like is like your like karmic,

Like thing to metabolize somehow.

And we all are metabolizing at different rates and just like trying to figure this life school out,

You know.

But I do really love that for the lessons that my grandparents taught me and my parents did as well in their own way of just really,

Really leaning into like what is empowering.

So it's like you could walk into a room and be really intimidated by the people who are very successful and strong and have this aptitude for physical things that you think are impressive or whatever the case may be.

But the very notion that you're in the room with people who are strong and you admire all these qualities,

It means that it's close to you.

And so rather than being intimidated,

Finding,

Oh,

This is actually really inspirational and how wonderful that I'm able to be a witness to this.

And so then when that vibrates through,

It's like,

Oh,

Like who says that I can't do that?

Who says that I'm not worthy of this greatness that I'm seeing in this person?

It's actually very much a part of who I am and who they are and,

You know,

The uniqueness in each of us that we all have something so beautiful to be,

You know,

Of service with and for that.

I just really love that in terms of an orientation and that's really informed how I guide of like,

It might start with what are you physically craving,

But oftentimes it's so interwoven of an energetic craving.

And so that is guided physically,

But it's so intertwined with a person's spiritual path.

And it's so wild,

Like whatever is top of mind,

Like the thing that feels weighty in the moment,

We like move through the physical practice.

And what's so beautiful is by the end,

Nothing has changed and everything has changed,

Right?

Like the entire physiology is just like,

Different person,

Different energetic.

And it's like,

If we can just remember and remember that,

Then we realize,

Oh,

Right,

Like we're so much more powerful than we realize.

Totally.

This is a huge thing.

And I think I see with the feminine even more is this notion of worthiness,

You know,

It's a tough one.

You know,

I think men struggle with honor and respect more so,

You know,

Just as a general cliche.

And I do have some spiritual cliches here,

But they've helped me around things like this.

The turning point for me,

I think was when,

Or one of the turning points was what other people think about me is none of my business in a way too,

Right?

And then when I got intimidated about around,

You know,

Maybe being out of my league or,

Yeah,

People with impressive physical things.

You said that's a really interesting one back when I was still in the corporate world.

And a few things with that,

I mean,

Well,

One,

The jealousy and there's,

You know,

I heard a teacher say that that's just a preview of the good things coming your way.

And I was like,

What?

No,

That can't be.

So it's really interesting to like turn the tables and just,

Okay,

Well,

I'd be open to seeing what that's like.

Another perception I think is when I'm just,

You know,

Being judgmental or something instead of not be not judgmental,

But like,

Oh,

I shouldn't be judging,

Right?

Then instead of,

If I'm even concerned about that,

That I don't think it's being judgmental at all.

You know,

It's only judgmental if I feel better about myself for saying,

Oh,

This so-and-so,

You know,

They're that and that,

Then I feel better about myself.

That's judgmental.

But what if it's just a recognition that that's not for me right now,

You know?

What if that's not for me?

You know,

I mean,

I can see and honor and respect that and respect like their kind of divine nature,

Buddha nature or whatever.

And it's just not for me right now.

It's not saying it's,

You know,

But I think with the worthiness though,

So we usually think of conceit,

Right?

As I'm better than them,

Right?

That we all recognize as conceit,

Right?

I'm so good that they suck,

Right?

But there's also inferiority conceit,

Right?

And I think that's a lot of,

And especially in our culture when we're just,

And especially women in general,

Oh my gosh,

The beauty industry and what they're comparing themselves and comparison conceit too,

Right?

Instead of comparing ourselves to ourselves and how well we've done,

We're always stacking ourselves up against some ideal or some other role models,

Which there's really not a lot of good role models.

I wish there were more.

There are some,

Right?

And I don't want to be negative Nancy here or negative Ned.

It's just,

You know,

There's a lot of stuff going on that women have,

You know,

They comparing themselves to beating themselves up over,

Always taking care of everybody else before themselves usually.

I mean,

These are not absolutes,

But we see this run ragged and not,

Yeah.

So,

Yeah.

And then one last thing I want to say about this is what if we didn't have to be,

Do or say anything to anchor light and yeah.

So,

That's the ground kind of start from,

And then it just goes up from there,

Right?

So,

Yeah.

But this,

You know,

And I just see like people,

Oh,

That's a nice idea,

But it's not really like that,

Right?

Oh,

You know,

That's great,

But I'm crap.

I'm not good enough,

You know,

And stuff like that.

There's just not,

I don't know what it is like a doubt,

Like a doubting or yeah,

It's the perception is really strong.

So,

In another way thing I like is aspirations too,

But instead of affirmations,

Affirmations are okay,

Right?

But a lot of times they're lying to ourselves saying I'm this,

I'm that when I'm not.

So,

The alternative I say is,

Okay,

This is where I want to aspire to.

This is my aspiration.

I'm here now and I'm not lying to myself and kidding myself.

And I'm going to make an effort and,

You know,

Open up to going towards that aspiration,

Make a resolution towards going to the aspiration.

So,

There's just some things that come up and,

You know,

I think being kind,

The really tough one for me is being happy for other people's happiness.

You know,

That is an antidote to jealousy too,

Right?

It's so easy for me to say,

Oh,

Why don't I have that?

You know,

I want that or this and that,

But if I can be happy for their happiness,

Then I'm happy too.

And so,

Like vicarious joy,

It's a beautiful thing rejoicing.

It's a wonderful form of happiness.

Yeah.

What's coming through is,

So,

One of the sort of yoga practices off the mat in terms of social media that I recommend is when there's a post that is triggering,

You can mute that person,

You can unfollow them.

They don't need to know.

When someone is celebrating something and it's authentic,

I think that you're happy for them.

When someone is boasting about something,

They're like constantly like in this like presentational form,

It's grating,

It's off putting.

And it's part of that is like our perception,

Right?

Like this sort of insert of how we perceive the person.

But I think if you're attuned to how you're seeing the world,

I think like you're a pretty,

You're pretty apt to know the difference.

And so I think that that's really important.

And then in terms of like the baseline response to these things,

I really recommend the like no phone until you've centered.

So I,

You know,

Back in New York days,

I had my phone by my bed,

I would use it as an alarm like many people do.

And then I would just turn my alarm off.

And then I'm like,

Oh,

Well,

Let me just check my messages real quick.

And then I could spend like up to an hour just like pinballing around into that world.

And what I started to do in this recent chapter over the last coming up on five years now is I don't have my phone anywhere near my head when I sleep.

I really take care to get outside,

Walk,

Be still,

Move,

Do these things.

And it's like,

Not until do I feel like hand to the heart,

Like I'm good.

I'm like ready.

I'll even take like an extra beat,

Like,

Do I want to open up the portal to what other people may have to say right now?

And then,

And then when it feels like it's time,

Then I'll open up that portal.

But I think from that space,

The judgment,

The expectation,

The comparison,

All of that stuff,

It doesn't have a space when we're connected to source,

When we're feeling like our nervous system is regulated,

When we feel like we've tended to ourselves in a holistic way.

And that routine can look different for each person.

Certainly,

For me,

I love to have a three hour runway with that.

It doesn't,

It could be an hour if I'm teaching early.

However,

I find,

You know,

To have that amount of space to like really witness the sun come up and just get intoxicated by watching how the sun comes through the trees.

It's just like,

Okay,

Like,

Actually nothing needs to happen.

I could just be here and be still and that would be enough.

And so that's like the practice of gratitude.

That's not like,

Oh,

I'm like listing the people and I'm like,

You know,

Being like very systematic about it.

But it's just like a full sensory knowing of like,

Like,

Yes,

I have goals.

Yes,

I aspire to greatness in so many ways.

That's like wanting to feel expansive and forever growing and all of these things.

And I wish that for all of us.

And also everything is beautiful just as it is right here and now.

And I say with my retreat partner,

Every time we get on like a little puddle jumper plane,

And it like feels really unstable.

I'll say to her,

Because I know she's really fearful of flying.

I'll say,

I could die right now.

And I'd be so happy.

I don't want to just to be clear.

But I also feel so grateful.

You don't have a death wish.

Yeah.

But yeah,

Yes.

Well,

That's right.

Yeah.

We're all gonna have to die.

That's right.

You know?

I said,

I'm pretty sure it's not going to be today.

But I also feel very at peace if that if it should be,

If it should be now.

And the other piece that I thought coming through when you're talking about the aspirations is I really think about the energetics around what that aspiration holds.

So it's like,

If you have the aspiration for,

You know,

A certain job,

Or like a certain relationship,

Or,

You know,

Having a certain item that feels like the pinnacle of success for you.

I think about,

Okay,

Like,

How would I feel if I have that?

And I do like a little visualization.

And usually,

What it comes down to is I would feel free,

Or I would feel like I've left a legacy,

Or I would feel empowered,

Right?

And so tapping into that is possible without that thing actually happening.

And what happens is,

Then we get to practice non-attachment.

So it's like,

Oh,

I aspire to this.

And also,

I feel this here and now.

And so like,

This could happen in a timeline that I don't know,

You know,

It could be tomorrow,

It could be 10 years from now.

Or perhaps there's actually something greater and more magical that's been circling.

And if I attach to that thing,

Then I'm blocking the magnificence that is waiting to show up.

And so,

Yeah,

So that's a really beautiful way to be in the meditation with that.

That is really,

Yeah,

Well put.

And plus,

It helps.

A lot of times the things we aspire to or want or goals,

We just want the feeling that they're going to give us,

Right?

And so if we just tune into that,

Like you're saying,

Yeah,

We kind of get the end result right away almost,

You know?

I mean,

Because I think that's the primary driving point for whatever goal or achievement we want to get or aspire to.

Not everything.

I mean,

Like if you want to realize full awakening,

Right?

Well,

That's going to have to be realized,

Not just felt or whatever,

Right?

But it also helps,

I think,

Attract it quicker.

And like you're saying,

Not being attached to a specific outcome,

Because what did the Tibetans say?

Like great,

Many expectations,

Many disappointments,

Right?

So yeah,

Even at best when we get it,

Then it's satisfying for like how long and then it's the next thing and the next thing and that it just really never ends.

So at that best,

You know?

Yeah.

That's the buy now culture.

Yeah.

So I actually,

I was feeling that this morning.

Funny thing.

When my dad and stepmom were in town,

My stepmom didn't pack sneakers and we were heading to play table tennis.

And so I loaned her a pair of sneakers and she's like,

These are great.

I'll take them.

And I was like,

What?

So she like,

You left with the sneakers,

Like she like put them in her suitcase.

She wasn't familiar with the term borrowing.

No.

I've never,

I was speechless.

I wasn't expecting her to just take them.

And I quite like those sneakers,

They were gold and,

You know,

They could transfer to,

You know,

Going for a walk or like put on a skirt.

Maybe she'll hear this podcast and things will change.

So anyway,

So I found myself this morning looking for the replacement,

Right?

And I spent quite a bit of time like researching like,

Okay,

Do I want to get exactly this pair?

Do I want to get something different?

Maybe I'll like look at the sneakers that I have and I can just clean slate,

Get something like one sneaker that would cover the bases for all of these purposes.

And then I just,

It was like an emotional allergic reaction.

I was like,

I am not buying anything.

Like the move is less,

The move is,

Please take it.

I like,

I honestly,

You know what I mean?

It's like,

I have what,

Like three other pairs that I can choose from.

It's not necessary.

And so I think it's so important as part of my meditation practice.

I actually,

I purge one item a day,

Which when I tell my mother this,

She's like,

Now,

How are you still,

You know,

Getting rid of things?

Some days it's like,

Oh,

I'm like using this tea or,

You know,

I was like emptying a wallet and I had like five metro cards.

I'm like,

Okay,

Like,

You know,

We're not using these anymore.

So there's like,

You know,

Things that kind of like hide in the recesses.

I challenge everyone listening one item a day.

So that's like 29 items in a lunar cycle.

And then what I love to do is like every new moon I'll either,

You know,

Gift the things to like the different people that I thought of,

Or I'll like donate them to,

Like,

There's like a women's refuge for clothes or like different,

You know,

Centers,

Because that is long lasting,

Like in the giving is the receiving.

This is like what I always talk about is what I think of is like Lakshmi energy where like,

It's like waterfall and the giving is the receiving.

And sure,

I could very easily like add to cart,

It would be at my door tomorrow.

And probably in the closet,

They would go until,

You know,

The occasion.

I mean,

Like I'm mostly in flip flops is like also like the hysterical thing about it,

You know,

Or barefoot and mostly barefoot,

Honestly,

Unless I'm leaving the house.

So but it but I think it's such an important point,

Because this is the difference of contentedness and happiness,

Right,

These things that almost scratch the itch.

And we're all addictive beings just by the very nature of how our brains are wired.

And so it's like,

What do we want to be addicted to?

And so like,

Is this the thought that we want to have?

Like,

Is this the thing we want to purchase?

Is this the thing we want to consume either,

You know,

Through like drink or food or like the media or whatever the thing is?

And the other piece that was coming through is,

Is just remembering Buddha's laws,

Like,

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

And just like pass everything through that.

And basically,

We would probably not speak or do anything.

There are a lot of noble silent retreats,

For sure.

You know,

That what you generosity is a huge one,

I'm going to come to that in a second as triggering,

Though,

You know,

You mentioned it on social media.

And I will say,

Unless I have something where I need an alarm clock,

My phone is off,

My electronics are off at night away.

But that reminds me there's another alarm clock that I can use instead of my phone.

So thank you for reminding me because I was I was in a quandary about that.

And I just realized I don't have to do that anymore.

So yeah,

It's a really good practice to get into.

Did a Zen retreat where we turned in electronics for entire month,

I had no idea how much of my sanity was tied to electronics.

It was a real eye opener.

You know,

I don't think I've done that since the start of the internet,

Probably,

You know,

It was it was it was wild.

So but not but doing really intense practice,

Too.

But that's,

That's for maybe another time.

This triggering,

Though.

So yeah,

I don't think that this doesn't apply if I wake up and I grab my phone,

And then I get triggered out that that's different.

Because I mean,

No one everybody's going to do that,

You know,

You we need this kind of container before we can be mindfully present to some,

But when something catches us off guard,

I mean,

If I may,

With with your trigger,

I know,

When I get triggered,

I welcome it in a way because that shows me what work I kind of still have left to do.

But I'm not saying there's anything wrong.

But what I'm seeing here is,

You didn't see seen,

Or heard or met or considered with what she did,

Right?

Like it was misinterpreted.

I guess she misinterpreted,

She didn't pay enough attention to you really to see your reactions on how it was,

You know,

Or what you you know,

What you meant in the situation or how,

You know,

Like she wasn't reading you properly,

Like are respecting your,

You know,

I mean,

In a way,

It's not theft.

I'm not going to say that there was just,

There was just it's,

You know,

Something was going on there,

Where,

You know,

It Yeah,

It's,

So I don't know,

These,

These things are there.

They're not pleasant,

But they are rich for spiritual activity.

And I love how you dealt with it the way you did and turn it into an opportunity for generosity,

You know,

And that's the first thing the Buddha would teach everyone before anything else is generosity,

You know,

How is it feel before I give when I'm considering giving a gift,

Right?

And then when I'm giving a gift,

And then afterwards,

And so yeah,

When we when we allow it and do this practice,

We're the one that's benefiting the most from it a lot of times,

You know,

It's really when they say all else fails,

Give a gift to,

You know,

So it's such a,

It's such a beautiful practice.

And it shifts from greed,

From what can I get out of this to what what can I give,

You know,

So it's,

Yeah,

I can't really be praised enough.

And the intentionality behind it is really important as well,

Why we're giving.

And yeah,

So it's,

It's a really good.

Yeah,

I can't say enough good things about generosity,

For sure.

So,

Yeah,

It's,

I think,

You know,

I don't know,

When people will be listening to this,

But I think it's apt around the holidays,

But really,

It's applicable all the time,

Because I feel like there's always like a holiday on the horizon where it's like,

Okay,

I have to get this gift,

Or like,

There's an event where there's food,

And it's like,

Okay,

Let me like contribute something to this.

And I don't want to show up empty handed,

And you know,

All of these things.

And so what I've tended to do,

Which,

You know,

I'd be curious to hear,

You know,

What your thoughts are,

Is I'll go into my pantry,

And I'll just create a dessert from things that I already have.

And I'll just channel my grandmother,

Who was a phenomenal baker,

And I'll just kind of sample different ingredients together of flavors that I think that the person hosting would enjoy and,

And do that instead of,

You know,

A bottle of wine,

Or,

You know,

Buying something else,

Because it'd be so easy,

Like,

Oh,

Let me just look up this recipe.

And then it's like,

Oh,

Of course,

Now I have to buy like these additional items,

Or,

Oh,

Let me like get a gift bag for the bottle of the wine,

You know,

All these things.

It's like,

Oh,

Can we just actually make something that is delicious and of real ingredients that is made of items that I already have?

No,

It's great.

It shows the sign of a really good cook too,

That,

You know,

They can,

They can make something taste delicious with whatever they have,

Right?

They can come up with something no matter what's there.

That's the sign of a really good cook too.

And you know,

It's so much more,

I think,

Heartwarming,

And there's so much good energy that can come into to cooking.

I mean,

It was one of my huge self-care practices during lockdown,

You know,

And I still really enjoy cooking and it's great.

And it's so much more fun to cook for others.

So yeah,

It's really praiseworthy,

I feel.

And it's a really special thing as well.

Now,

I will say that the flip side,

If there's some people that are run too ragged,

And they have all these high expectations,

Or I have to do all this for so many people,

And yeah,

When am I ever going to get this done and stressing out about it,

Then maybe it could be the opposite.

Like,

Okay,

Maybe you should ask somebody to help,

Or you should just go and buy some stuff so you don't have to do so much stuff,

Right?

So it really depends what the person is,

I think,

And the situation is,

What's going to be the long-term welfare and happiness,

Or even short-term in such engines like this,

For the person doing it and for everybody involved.

So yeah,

It depends on who the person is in the situation.

I think it's a lovely act of kindness and love for what you're doing,

For sure.

Yeah,

This is such an important part of the conversation of really looking at where are the energy leaks,

Where are the money leaks?

And it's like,

What do I love to do and that I'm really great at,

And how can I delegate the other things?

And I've dialed up things depending on what's going on in my life,

And it's so wild.

An example is when I moved into this home,

I thought,

Okay,

Let me hire someone to come clean once a week,

And then I don't have to worry about that.

And that felt liberating for that time.

And then it was like a switch where I was like,

I'm going to claim this back,

And I'm going to put that money in this other column,

And I'm going to regard it as a meditation.

So it was like every Thursday,

It'll be in rotation.

So I'm not spending an entire day doing it,

But I'll turn on high vibe music,

And it'll be 20 minutes go,

Vacuum the whole house,

And it's almost like a workout.

And so that feels very liberating.

And then there was a time where I love to go and get my hair done,

And I have a lot of hair,

So it would take three hours.

And I'm like,

I'm friends with my stylist,

And we would have a good time,

But I'm like,

This is a really long sit.

And so like six months ago,

I'm like,

I'm not doing this anymore.

And I had gotten a pair of shears during COVID,

And I was like,

I'm just cutting my own hair,

Like a bonsai tree,

And they're curls,

And so they're forgiving.

And so that feels very liberating,

Right?

So I don't know,

I just invite everyone to think about what are the things that actually are giving to you and to others?

Where are the ways that this is what I was talking about earlier.

It's like,

What are the things that we're doing by default?

It's like,

Oh,

Well,

I always go and do this,

Or this person always expects me to make this thing.

So it's like,

Okay,

But do I want to choose to do that today?

And like,

How does that resonate?

And usually what I think of is like,

Okay,

Do I feel like ice with this?

Meaning like,

Is there constriction?

Or do I feel like steam with this?

Does it feel expansive?

And usually it's like one or the other,

Right?

Like,

It's either a hell yes or a hell no.

And like,

Let's just like lean into the things that like,

Really are a full body yes.

And I mean,

If we just turn the dial that way,

Oh my gosh,

What would we do with this amazing life that we have?

It's a really good gauge.

Yeah.

Is this giving me energy or is it draining energy,

Right?

That's another really good gauge.

Yeah.

And then when we come up against hardship,

Like one of the things I like is what weakness is this helping me strengthen?

So turning it into kind of an opportunity as well.

So yeah,

These are all such beautiful approaches to,

And this is where the life really happens in like the everyday things like this,

And where a lot of the spiritual lessons come to.

And actually,

A lot of the mystical stuff is,

It can't be really separated out from the mundane as well,

Right?

And all these practices,

These views,

These responses,

How we hold them,

It trains the heart.

Yeah,

It's what it's about.

And I think not to make too much of it and also not to overlook it either,

This kind of dance of life that we're in.

I know I'm speaking just kind of metaphorically here and in general,

But I think what you shared today was quite lovely all around.

And I really appreciate your,

You have amazing,

Lovely energy and this kind of,

Yeah,

It's such a brightness and support.

And you talked about empowerment.

I think it's so important that we encourage and empower each other and do it authentically too,

Not trying to pull the wool over people's eyes and not a disavowing struggle either,

But what is really needed and what's skillful,

Like moment to moment even,

And then what is even more universal that crosses kind of times and places and eras even.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

The French version of Veronica,

Thank you so much.

We talked a little bit before the show how to pronounce her name,

And I've been notoriously bad at pronouncing names sometimes.

So I'm just going to say that.

Tell people how they say your name properly.

If there's a message you'd like to leave everybody with,

Please do so.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

My full name is Veronique Ori.

And yeah,

Just to expand on that a little bit.

So I was named after a Veronica.

It was a childhood friend of my mom's and she wanted the French version of it.

And the meaning of it is true image.

And I just really love that because I feel like I have that and we all have that,

Right?

Because we're all mirrors for one another.

And so I really embody that as a way of being and then also in the way that I guide and in my relationships.

And I would so love to connect with everyone.

One of my favorite parts of being able to have these conversations and being in this life school together,

Why not connect in a way that feels resonant?

It's all good.

I never say busy.

I say full.

I really love all of the offerings and it's such a joy to connect in all the ways.

And so please feel free to reach out.

I'd love to be in these conversations and in different ways.

Well,

Lovely.

That's really cool.

And I love this notion of fullness instead of busyness.

That's great.

Yeah,

Yeah.

So with that,

May we all find our most optimal space for ourselves,

For each other,

And for all beings everywhere.

May all beings everywhere realize awakening and be free.