Hello,
I'm Annie Musu,
A certified EFT tapping master practitioner.
I help women build confidence,
Set boundaries,
And enjoy healthy relationships.
Welcome to my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship with yourself.
On this show,
I offer practical wisdom to help you clear fears,
Limiting beliefs,
And trauma so that you can gracefully create a life you love.
Hello and welcome to episode number 62 of my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship with yourself.
Years ago,
Here's how a typical day looked for me.
6 a.
M.
,
My alarm rings.
My heart is pounding.
I immediately review my to-do list.
Presentation,
Budget,
Call the technician,
Plan meals.
I devour my bowl of oatmeal and get to work.
Several hours later,
I finish my presentation,
But feel ashamed that it's not perfect.
Then,
When I update my budget,
I realize that we overdrew our account again.
My partner asks me,
What's wrong?
But I brush him off to avoid looking needy.
Self-doubt nags at me and all my energy is up in my head.
At night,
I berate myself for not getting enough done and finally shut my eyes.
The scarcity mindset is when we believe there is not enough.
Perhaps we feel like there's never enough time,
Money,
Energy,
Achievements,
Or love.
This dreadful mentality ruled my life until one day I burned out.
Our society is steeped in this scarcity mindset.
Though many people don't realize it,
They feel its soul-crushing effects.
Fear,
Guilt,
Shame,
Anxiety,
Depression,
And disconnection.
In this episode,
I'd like to explore our beliefs of lack and share a few tips to start cultivating enoughness.
So what exactly is a scarcity mindset?
A scarcity mindset is when we believe we're not enough,
We're not doing enough,
Or we don't have enough.
The lack mentality stems from fear.
More specifically,
This could be fear for physical well-being,
But it can also include fear for our emotional well-being,
Like the fear of rejection and shame.
Perceived threats can also impact us.
For example,
Perhaps we have more than enough money for our needs in this moment,
But for some reason we still feel insecure and worry about the future.
What's more,
Studies show that we're wired for social connection,
Which is key to our fulfillment.
So foregoing relationships or a sense of belonging is like foregoing food or shelter.
This often leads people to give away their power in an attempt to get others' love and approval.
Brene Brown writes that our culture's scarcity mindset leaves us feeling angry and fearful about our safety.
These feelings permeate our work,
Schools,
Families,
And communities in the form of three things.
Shame,
Comparison,
And disengagement.
Examples of shame include using fear of ridicule to manage people,
Tying self-worth to achievements,
Blaming,
Insulting,
And perfectionism.
A few examples of comparison are constantly comparing ourselves,
Stifling creativity,
Measuring people with narrow standards.
And a few examples of disengagement include avoiding taking risks and trying new things,
Keeping your ideas and experiences to yourself,
And feeling unacknowledged.
So why would we do things that squelch the connection we're all seeking?
It all comes down to the fight-or-flight response,
Our brain's reaction to threats.
This necessary and biological reaction ensures our survival.
Again,
Our bodies can react to non-life-threatening stressors,
Things like family conflicts and friends' criticism that could deny us of social connection,
Alarms our inner critic.
To keep us safe,
Our inner critic ironically shames us so that we conform to others' expectations and gain a sense of belonging.
Our limited inner critic means well,
But in the long run,
Abandoning ourselves may lead to anxiety,
Depression,
And addictions.
Distancing,
Controlling,
Achieving,
And perfecting cannot bring us joy.
On the contrary,
Acknowledging our fears and being vulnerable with the right people let us experience love and belonging.
Here's a juicy quote by Gilda Radner,
Quote,
Life is about not knowing,
Quote,
Life is about not knowing,
Having to change,
Taking the moment and making the best of it,
Without knowing what's going to happen next.
Delicious ambiguity,
End quote.
It's no surprise we still feel lack even when we have more than enough to survive.
Lynn Twist shares that we're immersed in a culture that runs on three toxic myths of scarcity.
The first one is,
There's not enough.
The second,
More is better.
And the third one is,
That's just the way it is.
No matter how much money or success we have,
We can feel disconnected to ourselves and the present moment.
Our fears can steer our thoughts and actions.
We compare ourselves to others,
Then judge ourselves when we don't line up.
We worry that if we're not being and doing as we're supposed to,
We won't be able to bear the shame.
Sometimes it might feel like we have our back against the wall with no choice but to conform.
The scarcity mindset can show up in many tiny ways.
For example,
Feeling jealous while scrolling a friend's travel photos.
Sucking in your belly when you try on a new dress.
Staying quiet instead of standing up for yourself.
Working until exhaustion and perfecting tasks.
And judging yourself for your child's flaws.
The common theme in these examples is,
I'm not XYZ enough.
Not successful enough,
Not pretty enough,
Not good enough.
Research shows that focusing too much on scarcity creates tunnel vision.
We do what we can to ease the immediate pain,
Even if it may hurt us in the long run.
We suffer from spiritual poverty.
So how can we break away from the scarcity mindset?
I agree with Brown when she writes that scarcity and abundance are two sides of the same coin.
Like yin and yang,
One cannot exist without the other.
What goes up must come down.
If I expect more of anything to make me happy,
I can keep chasing forever,
And I'll feel lousy in moments of lack.
So the opposite of scarcity isn't abundance,
Rather it's sufficiency.
Accepting your imperfections and failures declares to the world,
I'm enough.
Check out these following tips to cultivate more ease and joy.
First things first,
Prioritize self-care.
With so many things grabbing our attention,
It's essential to manage our energy.
We actually become more productive when we make sure to get enough sleep and take breaks.
Eating healthy meals,
Spending time with loved ones,
And exercising are basic necessities that calm anxiety and nourish joy.
Set realistic goals.
Focus on one or two realistic goals at a time.
Pair down overwhelming goals into tiny tasks so that you can easily complete them.
You'll feel less pressure and more fulfilled as you go about your tasks.
Show up as yourself.
Gently reassure your inner critic that you can handle the situation.
Acknowledge your negative thoughts.
Integrate any part of you that feels ashamed.
Then dare to show up as yourself.
When you have the courage to be vulnerable again and again,
You learn to trust that you'll be okay no matter what,
And that will inspire others to do the same.
Cultivate gratitude.
Of course there are tons of things we could be,
Do,
And have,
But what if we focus on what's here in the present?
A shift in perspective towards sufficiency lets us see there are already plenty of blessings.
Question our consumerist culture.
Like a muscle,
Gratitude builds with repetition.
Think of one blessing and let yourself enjoy the sweet feeling that arises.
I love this little poem by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Quote,
Water comes from high mountain sources.
Water runs deep in the earth.
Miraculously,
Water comes to us and sustains all life.
My gratitude is filled to the brim.
End quote.
And finally,
Relax.
If you feel too anxious,
Just stop and breathe deeply.
When our fears feed our scarcity mindset for a while,
It can keep us in a constant state of fight or flight.
That high level of adrenaline stresses the body and makes it hard to problem solve.
If we don't relax,
We might react in unhelpful ways like overworking and excessively drinking alcohol.
Instead of projecting your fears onto the future,
Find refuge in your body and the present.
Try this exercise.
Inhale through your nose while inflating your belly for four counts.
Hold your breath for one to two seconds.
Exhale through your mouth while deflating your belly for five counts.
When the exhale breath is longer than the inhale breath,
You relax more.
Wait a few seconds,
Then repeat.
Deep breathing lowers heart rate,
Relaxes muscles,
And calms you down.
So don't wait until you feel anxious to practice.
Any activity that encourages deep breathing like yoga,
Tai chi,
Or walking will do.
From that space of grounded relaxation,
You can tap into your creativity and find aligned solutions.
Let me leave you with this.
You are enough.
The scarcity mindset shows up everywhere every day.
It can feel quite overwhelming,
But working my fingers to the bone,
Perfecting and beating myself up never got me far.
It was only when I turned inwards,
Prioritized self-care,
And embraced uncertainty,
That I began to feel whole again.
This inner feeling of safety and freedom now ripples out into my external world,
Creating much peace and joy.
Let's acknowledge our scarcity mindset and show up anyway,
So that we all become ablaze with life.
Thank you so much for joining me in this episode of Hush Your Mind.
If you enjoyed it,
Please feel free to visit my about page on my InsightTimer profile for my website,
And follow me for new content and live EFT tapping sessions.
May you have the courage to love and accept yourself.
Be well and take care.
