Hello,
I'm Annie Musu,
A certified EFT tapping master practitioner.
I help women build confidence,
Set boundaries,
And enjoy healthy relationships.
Welcome to my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship with yourself.
On this show,
I offer practical wisdom to help
you clear fears,
Limiting beliefs,
And trauma so that you can gracefully create a life you love.
Welcome to episode 35 of my podcast,
Hush Your Mind,
Building a better relationship
with yourself.
Setting a boundary is already a challenge.
Perhaps you spent hours mulling
over what to say,
When,
And how.
You're worried about how the person will react.
And you know
that you have to take care of yourself.
You have to speak up for yourself.
Because if you don't,
Who will?
So you finally find the courage to communicate your boundary in a kind yet firm
way.
Whew,
Done.
Your heart is pounding.
But uh-oh,
The person got defensive.
They're upset,
Angry,
Or cold.
They invalidate your experience,
Question your decision,
Or ignore your boundary
altogether.
Now what?
What do you do when someone disrespects your boundaries?
Changing others is
ineffective.
We can only control our actions.
That said,
You can reaffirm your boundary.
One
of my readers prefers to say,
Okay,
Thanks for your opinion,
But this is what's healthy for me.
State your boundary two to three times if need be.
If you'd like,
You can use one of these phrases.
No.
Let's talk about that.
That's not okay with me.
I'll get back to you.
That's not going to
work for me.
Let's revisit this another time.
Another reader of mine stays silent and lets
the other person sit with their feelings for a while.
Yes,
It's frustrating because they should
have just understood the first time around.
And no,
You don't have to reaffirm your boundary if
you don't want to.
You've already done your part.
When I get backlash from others,
I try to remember
that it's not personal.
The other person's reaction isn't our responsibility.
Boundaries
are about focusing on ourselves and what we will do in response to unhealthy behavior.
So at this
point,
You can even hang up the phone.
You can leave the room.
Leaving the room is a boundary.
You don't have to stay around and tolerate their criticism.
If they get abusive,
You may need to
protect yourself or get professional help.
Respect yourself by following through with your boundary.
Otherwise,
It'll be futile.
Actions speak louder than words.
So focus on your experience.
Your power
lies in your inner experience.
Ideally,
Our friends and family would empathize with us and thank us
for speaking up.
But if that doesn't happen,
It's essential to validate our thoughts and emotions
and give ourselves the support we're seeking.
Contemplate these questions.
What thoughts are
racing in your mind?
What stories are you telling yourself?
What are you feeling right now?
Where do
you feel that emotion in your body?
Then plug your answers into EFT tapping statements to
acknowledge your experience and immediately release any related stress.
For example,
Even though I
can't believe they disrespected my boundary,
I choose to accept myself.
Even though no one ever
listens to my needs,
I choose to accept myself.
Even though I feel hurt and angry in my chest,
I choose to accept myself.
Tap on each of these statements until you feel calmer.
If you don't
know how to tap or need a refresher,
Check out episode number three.
As you're tapping,
You'll
help your body switch from the stress response to the relaxation response,
Meaning you'll feel safe,
Grounded,
And comforted.
As a result,
Your amygdala,
The part of your brain that manages the fight or
flight response,
Won't control your actions.
You'll slow down the automatic cycle of negative
thoughts and activate your prefrontal cortex,
The part of your brain that allows clear rational
thinking and empathy.
When you show up for yourself in this way,
You're soothing parts of
yourself that may have felt disrespected for a long time.
Perhaps your inner child or inner teen
is finally receiving the support they need.
Sometimes this emotional work brings painful
memories to the surface,
Other similar moments when you felt misunderstood and abandoned.
Tap
on those memories too,
Or if you feel uncomfortable,
Unsafe,
Or overwhelmed doing so,
You can contact
me for support.
Present triggers are often opportunities to heal old wounds and reclaim
your power.
In conclusion,
It's about honoring yourself.
EFT tapping is a powerful tool to help
us feel calm and grounded as we speak our truth.
Having the best boundary strategy won't be very
helpful if our body,
Mind,
And spirit aren't aligned.
As we address the roots of people pleasing on all
levels,
It becomes much easier to stand up for ourselves and cultivate healthy relationships.
If you're struggling with people disrespecting your boundaries,
Please know that it's not your
fault.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a lifelong practice.
We're all learning how to
advocate for ourselves,
And for those who have been doing this for a while,
We deepen the lessons
and enrich our understanding of who we are.
Each time someone disrespects your boundaries,
You can
choose to reaffirm your limits,
Take care of yourself,
Validate your experience,
And ultimately
recognize your own innate value.
You deserve to be loved and respected as much as anyone else.
Thank you so much for joining me in this episode of Hush Your Mind.
If you enjoyed it,
Please feel
free to visit my about page on my InsightTimer profile for my website,
And follow me for new
content and live EFT tapping sessions.
May you have the courage to love and accept yourself,
Be well,
And take care.
