Thanks for joining me in this EFT tapping meditation to release people-pleasing.
I'm Annie Musu,
A Certified EFT Tapping Master Practitioner.
People-pleasing often develops in childhood.
Think about your parents' reaction when you stood up for yourself as a child.
Did they acknowledge you?
Did they encourage you to share your opinion?
How were disagreements handled?
We'll go to great lengths to avoid being rejected or abandoned,
Because we all have an innate need to be loved and accepted.
The problem is that people-pleasing will keep you stuck in feeling resentful and inadequate,
And ultimately your needs aren't met at a deep level.
When we get reprimanded for speaking up,
And that experience gets reinforced over and over,
Our brain associates stress and pain with prioritizing ourselves.
We find ourselves in fight or flight,
Or freeze,
Which explains why we sometimes struggle with standing up for ourselves.
Left unhealed,
Our negative early experiences at home,
School,
Or elsewhere can hold our voices hostage in adulthood.
If our caretakers validated us,
This stress response would dissipate.
We'd relax and feel understood.
Our body would release endorphins that support positive emotions and well-being.
As a result,
We'd feel empowered to express our needs.
Now as adults,
It's up to us to give ourselves the love and validation we're seeking,
And to show appreciation for our value.
EFT tapping is a potent stress-relief tool that helps us release the people-pleasing habit and empower ourselves.
If you imagine a tree,
The pattern of people-pleasing and unfulfilling relationships are the leaves.
We can have the best strategies to set boundaries and say no,
But then we wonder why people keep walking all over us.
That's because we have to go down to the trunk and roots of the tree where our limiting beliefs and unhealed past wounds reside.
Once we clear the root cause,
We can more easily grow big and beautiful leaves like peace of mind,
Joy,
And nourishing relationships.
So let's use EFT to start releasing the roots of people-pleasing right now.
Take a deep breath.
Imagine a scenario where you have to say no to someone.
It could be your partner,
A friend,
Your boss,
Parent,
Or sibling.
What tension do you feel coming up?
You might feel bodily tension.
Where is it in your body?
Or is it just overall anxiety?
Take a moment to acknowledge the tension.
On a scale of 0 to 10,
10 being the highest,
What's the level of intensity of this tension?
Keep that number in mind or write it down.
It'll be a way to measure your progress.
If you're new to tapping,
Know that it's perfectly normal to yawn,
Burp,
Laugh,
Or cry during EFT.
Negative emotions and memories might surface.
You might feel the tension moving from one place to another.
You'll most likely feel relaxed.
Don't worry.
You're not going crazy.
Those are signs that stress is being released from your body and EFT is working.
Okay,
Now let's use four fingers of one hand and tap firmly on the side of the other hand.
It's the fleshy side of your hand between your pinky finger and your wrist.
As you tap,
Repeat after me in your mind or out loud,
Even though I feel this tension right now.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I feel this tension right now,
I feel anxious,
Just thinking about saying no to this person.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I feel this tension in my body right now,
I want to say no,
But it's so hard.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Then tap on the top of your head,
Right in the center,
And say,
I'm tired of being a people pleaser.
Move to the beginning of your eyebrow above your nose,
Using just two fingers for the smaller spaces.
Tap while you say,
It's hard to say no.
Tap on the side of your eye.
It's on the bone bordering the outside of your eye.
I can't speak up for some reason.
Tap under your eye on the bone,
Directly under your eye.
Why is it so hard?
Under your nose,
Between your nose and upper lip.
I just want everyone to be happy.
Chin point,
Which is under your bottom lip.
Saying no makes me feel anxious.
Collarbone point,
Right under your collarbone,
About three inches from the center.
I always need to please everyone.
Finally,
Tap under your arm on the side of the body,
About four inches below your armpit.
I'm tired of making everyone happy,
But me.
Take a deep breath.
All right,
How's the tension feeling?
What level of intensity was it before,
And what number is it now?
If your number has decreased even a little bit,
That's great.
You may still be feeling some tension,
So let's tap again.
Tap on the side of your hand and say,
Even though I still feel this tension right now,
I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I still feel this tension right now,
I'm so sick of saying yes when I want to say no.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I still feel this tension right now,
It sucks being a people pleaser.
I don't get anything I want.
I deeply and completely accept myself.
Tap on the top of your head.
I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore.
Eyebrow.
I hate all the obligations.
Side of your eye.
It makes me so uncomfortable saying no.
Under your eye.
Taking care of others gives me a sense of worth.
Under your nose.
I just want everyone to be happy.
Under your mouth.
Saying no makes me feel guilty.
Collarbone.
I don't want to upset anybody.
Under your arm.
I'm tired of making everyone happy but me.
Take a deep breath.
Let's do an affirmative round to end on a high note.
Tap on the side of your hand and say,
Even though I haven't always spoken my truth in the past,
I'm ready to let this pattern go,
And I choose to speak my truth.
Even though I always feel guilty unless I take care of everyone else first,
I'm open to the idea of saying yes to me.
Even though I learned early on to prioritize others,
I did the best I knew how.
I love and forgive myself.
Tap on the top of your head.
I'm allowed to have needs.
Eyebrow.
I'm able to support people as I take care of myself first.
Side of your eye.
It's safe for me to say no.
Under your eye.
It's safe for me to say yes to myself.
Under your nose.
I'm important.
I'm accepted.
Under your mouth.
Owning and speaking my truth.
Collarbone.
I'm lovable and supported.
Under your arm.
I love,
Honor,
And respect myself.
Take a deep breath.
What's your level of intensity now?
Compare this number with your first number.
I hope you're feeling lighter and more empowered now.
Feel free to come back and use this tapping audio whenever you're feeling anxious about saying no.
May you have the courage to love and accept yourself.
Be well and take care.
