I want to address separation,
Individuality,
Escapism,
Detachment,
Non-attachment.
When we are suffering because we are extremely unhappy,
Stressed,
Hurt,
Every single day by a job,
A person,
A family member,
A spouse,
A child,
A friendship,
A living situation,
A home,
All of these things can cause us stress.
And when we live in that stress,
We're trying to figure out,
Because it's our natural primal survival mode,
To get out of that stressful situation.
And the longer we're in those stressful situations,
The longer our brain will tell us that we're in danger.
When our brain interprets this as danger,
Our body goes into flight and fight,
And it starts to react through cortisol,
Adrenaline,
Testosterone,
Sometimes estrogen,
And a whole myriad of chemicals.
I'm not a medical professional,
So you can do your own due diligence and research that yourself.
When we find a solution,
Then we feel a sense of peace and a sense of ease.
Often,
We can get overburdened with the search of that solution,
And we get in what's called a loop.
We get stuck in a loop.
And our brain is trying to process problem,
Solution,
No solution,
Problem,
Problem,
Solution,
No solution,
Problem,
Problem,
Solution,
No solution,
Problem.
And this goes around and around and around,
And we start to panic.
Every day becomes more and more stressful,
More anxiety,
More adrenaline,
More cortisol,
More flight or fight.
It becomes almost unbearable.
Then you get to the point where it's all or nothing.
I got to leave my marriage.
I got to quit my job.
I got to tell my mother-in-law to get lost.
I got to stop seeing my sister.
I've got to move away from this angry neighbor.
All these different solutions start,
And that's basically just cutting the weed from the root.
Ripping the roots out because you don't want to revisit or relive the situation.
I often tell my clients to take a pause when this happens.
To take a pause.
And that is either telling the family member that I need a break.
I'm going through some stressful times.
I can't attend anything for a while.
I hope you understand.
Thank you for understanding.
I really appreciate your understanding.
That's more rather than I hope you understand.
I appreciate your understanding.
I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience for you.
I really appreciate you giving me this break.
If it's a job,
You can tell that person,
I'm about to leave this job.
I need a break.
I need stress relief.
I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision under the pressure that I'm putting myself in.
Or you can tell yourself I'm leaving this job and I'm going to go online and I'm going to start researching other jobs that are out there.
I'm going to start window shopping.
I'm going to get excited about this window shopping of the probability that I could find a job that fits me perfectly.
That makes more money.
That has options.
And you're telling the universe,
I'm open to more options.
I'm not stuck.
I'm going to get rid of my blinders.
I'm going to have a better peripheral vision.
And I'm going to start looking outside of the box.
Now,
People that are very dedicated and hardworking,
Most of the time,
You guys have a predisposition of an all or nothing.
I'm all in and I'm the hardest,
Best working wife,
Husband,
Coworker,
Employee,
Daughter-in-law there is.
And we don't give up.
But we're not asking you to give up.
We're asking you to pause.
And when we do that,
Rather than throw the baby out with the bathwater as they say,
We give ourselves a break.
Now give yourself time because your brain's going to go,
Who are you fooling?
You're not quitting that job.
You're not leaving that marriage.
You know what's going on.
I got your number.
Don't listen to that voice in your head.
Now,
If you have the agreement of a boss or a partner or a family member or a friend,
Hey,
I get it.
Yeah,
I need a break too.
I'm stuck in this loop as well.
I want us to get to a better place,
Whether it's together or not together,
Whether you're my employee or not,
Whether you're a family member or not.
I want us to get to a better place.
That's even more freedom.
Both of you have given each other permission to be who you want to be and to be who you are.
The canvas becomes empty again.
The slate is clean and there's no expectations,
Obligations or responsibility to be anything but who you are.
A lot of people will say,
I love being alone.
I just love being alone.
You know why?
Because you're not triggered when you're alone.
No one's triggering you because they're changing the television station or they're making noise in the kitchen while you're trying to rest or that they're talking to you insatiably about their day and all you want to do is think of nothing.
They're not triggering you because they left the bathroom light on.
And all of these are triggers.
It's not the bathroom light.
It's not about the noise in the kitchen.
It's not about them talking about their day.
It's that you have weaknesses.
We all do.
We're human and they can easily be interfered.
It could be a dog barking next door every single day.
And if you're not a happy camper in your life,
That dog barking gets louder and louder and seems to happen more often.
And at all crazy times of the night,
You become to hate that dog.
The neighbor isn't doing anything.
So now you don't like the neighbor either.
And the barking dog,
If under other circumstances,
Most likely would hardly bother you.
It's that simple.
So when you take a break,
When you pause,
Don't look at it forever.
Look at it as if you're in limbo.
You're in between states of the old way and the new way.
That new way may be without the job,
The partner,
The family member or the friend.
Or it may be with them in a completely different light.
I hope this helps many of you in transition.
Because life throws us curveballs.
Namaste.
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