How To Be Alone & Be Happy

You are perfect the way you are! The problem only arises when you meet someone who you like but on the surface, you might think you're not at their level or you doubt yourself. Cheating you out of what could be a great relationship. SO within the next 15 minutes, I will go over how to change your outlook and open your soul to another relationship or maybe the first one. SO grab a drink and enjoy.

Transcript

Often times when I make a track,

A recording for either YouTube,

Insight Timer,

Facebook,

Or one of the mediums that I reach out to you guys and talk to you from,

A lot of times I can't think of everything that I want to say all at one time.

Then I reflect back and it's like,

You know what,

We need to say this.

This needs to be added to the conversation.

I could never make the conversation completely whole though,

Because I guess life is so vast and so expansive that we just keep growing and learning as we go and it comes to us in stages.

So I'd like to dedicate this one to one of the first videos I made about loneliness help.

And I want to title this one,

How to be alone and be happy.

So let's get into this.

So sit back,

Grab a drink,

Enjoy yourselves for the next few minutes and we'll get into a little bit of self exploration,

A little self understanding.

If you've been through a breakup recently and you find yourself being very depressed and lonely,

Then maybe this conversation might help a little bit.

But yeah,

I understand that breakups are hard.

I've been through quite a few breakups in my own life.

I'm certainly no perfect example,

But how we deal with these breakups,

How we deal with getting on with our lives,

This is the most important thing to help us get us back on our feet and realizing that God made us perfect the way we are.

Maybe the other person you were with was not meant for you at the time or maybe just things happen and it's time to end that relationship.

Everything that's beautiful has a lifespan.

Unfortunately that's just the way existence is,

Is that things happen and love happens between two people and it's beautiful while it lasts,

But when it ends,

It's just that it ends.

But every ending could be also the start of another beginning.

So you have to give yourself that much dignity in life,

That much understanding and appreciation towards the existence of love itself.

Sometimes the relationship between two people can last for a lifetime,

Maybe even several lifetimes,

Maybe even hundreds of lifetimes,

But those people have understood something about love.

They understand the preciousness of the moment,

Of being in the present moment.

I learned something at a young age from the teachings of the great master Saraha and it's the teachings of Tantra.

In Tantra,

Basically,

You guys are going to love this because I fell in love with it when I understood it and when I heard it and started following it,

Was that you should live your life like a bee.

And a bee basically goes to a flower and collects as much pollen as it can from that flower before he moves on to another flower.

And we are humans,

Some of us are flowers and some of us are bees.

It's not always a male-female thing either.

One female could be a bee and another female could be a flower or vice versa,

Or it could be one female is a flower and the other male is the bee.

The important thing to know is that you go to a flower while there's honey there,

While there's the pollen to be collected.

And you spend as much time and you have this love affair with this flower and then when the honey's all gone,

You leave and you move on to the next flower.

Like I said,

Some bees could stay with a certain flower for an entire lifetime of the bee.

The love can be that intense and that beautiful.

And then of course when something like that ends,

It's very tragic and you're like,

Oh,

I don't want that to end.

But it's okay because there are other flowers out there and it's time to move on.

It's time to explore and collect more honey and more pollen and overall be not another brick in the wall,

But basically another bee in the hive that makes it possible for the bee's population to expand and grow.

And basically that's life.

I mean,

That's just in a nutshell,

That's the tantric view of looking at life is that we're here to experience love and you should stay with love.

Now if that love dies,

You have to accept it.

And like when my second wife and I split up,

It was very tragic for me.

I was with her for 20 years and I had to do something to basically finalize the relationship when I knew it was over and she filed for divorce and everything.

Or I said we'd follow together for the divorce,

She wanted to move on.

I wasn't quite ready to move on.

I was quite happy as I was,

But I understand and my tantric philosophy has taught me to accept it,

That okay,

Things end.

That's just the way it is.

But what I did was I found a place where I was completely alone and where no one else would hear me.

And I cried and I cried and I screamed and I just yelled and not throw a tamper tantrum or anything like that,

But basically I had to let it all out.

So I let go.

I completely let go.

And this is important in life because if you don't have this let go,

If you don't express your inner feelings,

Then you're going to push them into your subconscious and that's going to be unhealthy for your next relationship or for any future relationship that you wish to have.

Having harbored ill emotions can hurt a person.

I know that personal experience from my first wife,

I've been married twice,

And from my first wife she was getting over a bad relationship that she had with her ex.

And she was very emotionally insecure and couldn't trust me or anything,

But I let her know that you can trust me.

There's no reason why you can't trust me.

I'm never going to cheat on you.

I'm never going to hurt you.

But things happen in life and life goes on and we all move on.

But by letting it all out,

By finalizing the situation,

That let go is like the end of the bee leaving the flower that he's collected all the pollen from.

He has to let it go.

He can't stay and collect when there's no more pollen to collect because he wouldn't be being a bee then.

And we wouldn't have the dignity of being ourselves if we tried to hold on and pretend that there's something there that's not still there.

I know it's funny because one person still has these feelings and the other person doesn't.

But we can't force anybody to love us.

You just can't.

You cannot force love.

And that's funny when we get married and we make these vows to each other,

You promise to love each other forever.

But forever could be forever if you learn the secret of collecting the pollen,

Living in the present moment.

A lot of times what happens also is that you fall in love with somebody,

You marry them,

You move in together and you marry them and you spend time together.

What happens is the friendship thing starts coming over.

You start becoming best friends.

And a lot of times you feel like you're soul mates.

You become like soul mates because you complete the other's thoughts.

You could be thinking something and the other person would be thinking the same exact thing in a relationship.

There's a synchronicity that goes on between lovers.

Because lovers become one in a sense.

What happens also is you lose that fire in what we call a love-hate relationship.

In a love-hate relationship,

There are high highs and there's low lows.

People fight.

And when they fight,

Then they make up and then they have make up sex and then they feel the love again.

And it's like a roller coaster ride.

But a lot of times with married people,

Like I said,

They become more like friends.

And then the love-hate relationship kind of fades away and a higher form of love takes over.

But a lot of people miss the high highs and they don't miss the low lows.

But they remember the good times and how brilliant and how bright it was.

But that's what happens in life is that these relationships have a cycle they go through.

And a relationship takes work.

It takes dedication on both partners to keep feeding into it as much as you can.

But like I said,

Things happen in life and you have to learn just to move on.

And if you want to be happy in life,

If you want to be happy being alone,

Then you have to go through the cycle and you just basically realize that to life there's a little bit more than being selfish towards another person just because the relationship ends.

But anyway,

You can be happy and you can be ecstatic and you can live on your own after this period of hurt is over.

Once you let it all out and let it go and forget about it,

Then you can be healthy again.

And then you can actually start to vibrate and have a sense of beauty about you again.

You felt that beauty was lost because you were dependent on that other person.

But really the beauty is always inside of you.

Like I said,

God made you perfect.

He made you perfect as you are.

And there are other flowers and there are other bees.

And you know,

It's such a big,

Expansive,

Beautiful world that there's so much more to see and understand.

But you should understand this too,

That finding that soulmate is probably one percent out of a hundred that you're going to find a soulmate out there.

And that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

But a lot of times what happens,

Like I expressed a few minutes ago,

Is that you can develop like two people can meet together at the first chakra,

The ground root chakra,

The physical level and have some stuff in common,

But not a lot in common.

And that happens basically ninety-five percent of the time.

And then relationships,

You know,

They have a chance of growing and everything if they can get past the physical and turn that physical lust into love and into love energy.

But that happens as you grow up to the second and third chakras too.

Your chakras become in unison with each other.

They become the yin and the yang.

One is male and one is female,

Or one is female and the other is male.

And I'm not talking about physical,

I'm just talking about psychological,

These psychological terms meaning that love is love.

I truly believe that.

I think if God can evolve,

And I think God has evolved over the centuries,

And He's evolving with us,

As we grow,

God grows.

I know that's kind of hard to understand,

But in a way it's completely true.

So love is love,

And it could be a male and a male or a male and a female or it could be a female and another female.

I mean,

As long as you're finding the honey,

The pollen I should say,

I keep calling it honey,

But as long as you're finding the pollen and you're turning that pollen into honey,

Then you're fulfilling the purpose of life.

There's a bigger purpose to life that you don't understand,

But God wants you to be happy.

God wants you to be ecstatic.

Of course with me being a Libra,

I'm right in the middle.

And I have understand this tantric philosophy,

This tantric understanding.

That doesn't mean you can't be a Christian and still understand these things,

Or Buddhist or Hindu or Sufi or Muslim.

I mean,

Love is love,

And you should stay with love.

That's a very important thing.

If you remember this in life,

Then you're going to live a much more happier life.

Like I said,

With me being a Libra,

I'm kind of like right in the middle.

Libras are very balanced people.

I appreciate my alone time.

It's precious to me.

I spend every day,

Every morning,

I start out reading,

And I just need to read a page or two or three pages,

Just a little bit,

And it sets the tone for the whole day.

It sets a pace and it brightens me up.

Of course I'm reading spiritual work,

But it just makes life lubricated for the day when I start out that way.

And then of course lunchtime comes by and I like to read.

But a lot of times I'll be asked to sit and enjoy lunch with coworkers or friends or stuff like that,

And I love that too.

There's a certain beauty in doing that,

And there's a certain beauty of being alone too.

And finding a balance between the two makes life so perfect.

It makes life so much better,

At least for this Libra it does.

But I think that you would find it also that if you can appreciate your alone time,

Because there's so many things we can do when we're alone that you feel so much beauty of expression while you're alone that you can't feel when you're with other people.

But then again,

When you're with other people,

There are things that you feel that you can't feel when you're alone,

That you miss out when you're alone.

So find that balance in life.

Find that thread right in the middle so you're walking on a tightrope with a balancing bar and just making your way through life,

Not from one extreme to the other,

But right in the middle.

And you'll find that this balance will bring joy and happiness into your lives as well.

I mean,

If you look at me,

I mean,

I don't think I have much to look at as far as looks go.

I mean,

I've been told maybe it's a face only a mother could love.

But everybody has somebody else that it's all relative.

If you're a really big,

Large person,

And you might think that you're obese and nobody could love you,

That's not true.

Because there are other people out there who appreciate that,

That's not a problem for them.

And they may be big themselves.

So life has a way of working itself out.

Like I said,

If you remember that you're a bee or you're a flower,

One or the other,

And you just stay with love,

And you'll find yourself so much happier and so much full of appreciation for life.

But like I said,

You could spend your whole life with one flower,

As long as the honey was still coming,

As long as the pollen was still being produced by the flower.

And I mean,

That's just life sometimes.

But don't beat yourselves up about it or,

You know,

Go through very traumatic breakups and everything.

Like I said,

Finalize it.

When it's over,

It's over.

And this finalizing things will help bring you into health.

It'll make you healthy,

It'll make you more vibrant and more alive again,

So you can be happy and being alone.

Hi,

Thank you guys for joining me.

Much love and aloha and namaste to all my spiritual friends.

Take care of yourselves.

Like I said,

If you like this talk,

Then just give me a rating and hopefully a good rating.

I like good ratings.

But it helps me because I'm trying to get 4.

5 stars on Insight Timer.

And if I can get 4.

5 stars on Insight Timer,

Then I can start doing live events.

And I'm so close.

I'm like 4.

30,

You know.

I'm so close to being 4.

5.

But like I said,

Not everybody agrees with what I say.

But experiment with what I say.

Try these things and you'll find yourselves living much more beautiful lives and you'll be much more ecstatic and more happy and more vibrant.

Take care of yourselves.

Bye bye.

Reviews

“Finalize it.” Love that! So many times we dare not decide to put an end because of fear of ending and fear of unfamiliarity that follows the end. But it will unfold so many paths we never thought exist. Thank u!