Often it's not all of us that feels a certain way,
All of self.
It is appropriate,
It is common,
And it is normal to feel multiple feelings about the same thing.
Like I can really love and respect and care for someone and also resent them.
Both can be true,
It's not either or.
And so what part of me is resentful,
What part of me is wounded,
What part of me is drawn to this dynamic,
What part of me is,
Et cetera.
We also have parts of selves that come out at work.
If you've ever experienced imposter syndrome,
And I have a whole video called imposter syndrome and gratitude shaming,
It essentially illuminates that we have this.
Disconnect in self,
You know,
There's our professional self and then our true self and if the two feel like worlds apart We often have imposter syndrome when we feel like oh my god I don't know what I'm doing if these people even if these people found out that I didn't know what I'm doing Etc and we can feel like unworthy of a job or under qualified Etc and the reality is most Most people that I've met at least have experienced imposter syndrome on some level at some point in their lives often with work sometimes with parenting,
Maybe even being in a relationship or being married,
It's this feeling of like,
Do I know what I'm doing or am I qualified for this?
And so.
There can be a part of us that has low self-worth,
And there can be a part of us that has tons of self-worth.
And that's really confusing to reconcile.
In Alcoholics Anonymous,
Often people say things like,
You know,
I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.
And that's not that uncommon,
Right?
Because a part of you may feel awesome about yourself.
Like,
Yes,
I am confident and competent and good at what I do or worthy of love.
And then there could be another part of you that feels like I'm a piece of shit.
I don't deserve anything.
Etc.
Now that part of you is often rooted in trauma,
Emotional pain,
Attachment trauma.
What are the messages that you receive from your primary caregivers?
Was there secure attachment?
Was there inconsistent or dysregulated attachment?
Um,
You know,
So it's worth,
Again,
Like in a therapeutic setting,
Really getting,
Curious about and exploring the parts of self.
The goal is not to eradicate certain parts and get rid of certain parts.
The goal is to reconcile that they all exist in you.
Notice when they're activated,
Greet them and nurture them instead of treat parts of selves the way they were treated.
Like if I have a wounded part of myself that feels like I'm not seen and I'm not heard and I'm not validated,
The worst thing I can do to that part of myself is shove it down and not see it and not nurture it and not validate it because I'm acting attachment trauma,
If that makes sense.
I mean,
I know it makes sense,
But I hope it makes sense in this video.
So.
.
.
Identifying what part of you feels a certain way is absolutely incredibly necessary and helpful in figuring out how we feel and why we feel a certain way.
And again,
It's really common and normal to feel multiple feelings and then that's confusing and sometimes instead of talking about it and exploring it more,
We can shame ourselves.
If you're in a relationship and you're questioning it,
But you feel like you shouldn't be,
We may shame ourselves.
And that part that's questioning it is going to still exist,
But you're just shoving it down further.
And that's when we'll see things like infidelity or self-sabotage or pushing someone away.
Because we can't just cut out certain emotions and say,
This doesn't exist.
We have to explore them and walk through them.
Or like my new artwork says,
Grow through what you go through,
Which I got on Etsy.
Because it's like I can't go around.
I can't go the other way.
I have to go through it,
Whatever it is,
And I can grow through it if I choose to,
And I have to be intentional about it.
And so when someone asks me,
How do I have self-esteem?
How do I have self-worth?
How do I work on that?
Self.
We have to look at all these different parts of self.
Now,
This is obviously a very brief rundown of self and parts work,
But noticing,
Well,
What parts of me are there?
Write down a list of different parts of you,
The perfectionist in you,
A chaos attractor in you.
Again,
Like you can do ages,
You can bring kind of titles or labels to different parts of you,
But just noticing.
And if we can kind of reconcile all those parts and look at what and where our ideal self is and what parts of us need healing and what parts of us are healed and how to pull on that and rather heal those,
It's incredibly beneficial,
Not just to our quality of life,
But to our quality of relationships.
And it's really awesome.
It's really empowering because far too often I hear narratives about people who feel feel like they are completely powerless over their emotions and thus their actions and their thoughts.
And it's just like an unmanageable mess.
And we have so much more power over our quality of life than we think we do.
Because as cliche as it is,
It's not about what happens to us.
It's about how we grow through it,
How we go through it,
How we choose to respond and react and grow.
And that is something that every single person is capable of doing.
And I believe it starts with self work,
Not working on all the outside stuff.
Sometimes,
I mean,
If you're in a dangerous situation,
Obviously.
But if we don't figure out our own internal shit,
And not just up in our own heads,
But through a therapeutic,
Ideally healing process,
Then we bring our toxic parts into all areas of our lives.
And then we feel hopeless because we tell ourselves things like,
Well,
This is just how I am,
Or this is who I am,
This is what I do.
And that is not true.
