Elul Meditation: Returning To Self

This meditation guides you through the Elul practices of teshuva (return) and cheshbon nefesh (soul accounting). You will be invited to reflect on where harm has occurred—toward yourself or others—and gently return to your innermost self with honesty and compassion. Through breath and awareness, you will call back the parts of yourself that feel scattered or forgotten, creating space for wholeness and resilience. This practice is an opportunity to realign with truth, return home to who you are, and prepare the heart for the season ahead.

Transcript

Welcome to this Elul meditation. Elul is a Hebrew month that takes place usually around August in the Gregorian calendar and it's the month before the high holiday season. So we have the Jewish New Year coming up and before we are ready to celebrate the new year we actually have to have this month of spiritual preparation. So it's a month where this concept of tshuva, Of return, Return to self, Return to God, Are really central. So this meditation is for this month to slow down and do what is called cheshbon nefesh, Which is soul accounting, So that we can return to ourselves, Clear whatever needs to be cleared, And reconnect to the divine essence that we are. So go ahead and find a comfortable place to sit and as you're ready you can close the eyes. And we'll start by taking a breath. So an inhale, And an exhale, And inhale, And exhale. Just we start by presencing this here and now. So whenever we want to connect to ourselves we start with where we are now. And sometimes we might want to skip over parts of us or patterns. See if you can really slow down to let yourself feel what is true for you. Who are you now? What is alive in you? How connected to yourself do you feel? You can feel the ground underneath you, So feeling where your body meets the earth. And let go a little bit more, Finding a little bit more support in this practice. And we'll slowly place our awareness into our hearts. So if you'd like you can put a hand on the heart or simply place your awareness there. And simply feel the rhythm of the beat. Is it slow? Is it fast? What pattern is it making? As we are connecting to ourselves through the breath we also remember that we are like a beating drum. So we have the inhale and the exhale as one movement pattern. And we also have our heartbeats as another. And this rhythm helps regulate our bodies, Our hearts, Our minds. And sometimes we can feel pulled in many different directions, Many different rhythms at once. Part of this practice of this month of Elul is calling all the parts of us back to our central being, Is integrating between all the various versions of you. So as we are here with the breath and the beat, See if you can call back to yourself. Whatever parts feel fragmented, Whatever parts feel in contradiction of one another. Letting them all return into one being. Knowing that all of these versions of you are necessary. They all belong. So there's nothing that's too much or too little. And see if you can allow yourself to really rest into who you are, Even in the most uncomfortable places. So whatever parts of you feel that they might need to perform or preserve a certain image, We simply let it go and relax into who we already are. And the way we can tell is if it feels like we're efforting. So when we effort, When it feels like our body is working too hard, It is a part of us that's trying to maintain a certain image or view. So part of returning to ourselves is also relaxing. Relaxing all the effort, Relaxing the nervous system, Relaxing the body, Relaxing the psyche. And feeling comfortable with a relaxed psyche. And part of this practice of chuvah, Of returning to self, Is soul accounting. The journey into self cannot be completed without the journey to the world. And we cannot connect to ourselves when there is unresolved tensions in our relational world. So in this month, Practice is to look at who we've harmed and who we've been harmed by, And make an effort to clear the tension, To resolve the conflict, And to heal the hurts. So as I'm saying this, Notice if there is someone that comes to mind that in the last year, There's been relational conflict with. And sometimes we run away from conflict because it's too hard. And when we do that, We actually also run away from ourselves. So this month is providing us with an opportunity to return to ourselves through the journey of healing and forgiveness relationally. So just take a few moments and see if there are particular people who are popping into your mind. Maybe someone you'd like to have a conversation with. Maybe some hurts that you are still carrying with you that you want to express. We're going to stay present here, Knowing that turning towards relational conflict is part of this life journey. We're incomplete without human conflict. So there's something that when we face it, Makes us stronger, Makes us more connected. It invites us into the power of transformation that we have. So we are not here as humans to be perfect. We are here to transform. We are here to grow and learn and evolve. So these hurts, These conflicts, These tensions, How can we see them as the friction necessary for fire, For creativity, For power? How can we be courageous enough to face what needs to be faced? Knowing that our heartbeats are supporting us. The heart teaches us courage. It teaches us to be unafraid of what is coming up in life. Because we do have capacity to face it, To transform it, And to become a more whole version of us as we do. So we'll take a couple breaths here. Feeling that inhale and exhale. And inhale and exhale. Allowing whatever needs to come up to come up. Giving yourself full permission to be you. Placing this intention to return to yourself and keep returning as a daily practice. And as we find the road to self, Whatever obstacles and challenges, Whatever tensions come up, Knowing that we can face it. And that it's worth it to face it. Because when we turn away from them, We are also turning away from us. So this month is teaching us to build resiliency with life as it is. To be comfortable with the mess of reality. And to sink a little bit deeper into who we are as humans. Without the images and stories and projections. But simply with this raw texture, Raw quality of being. That is here for you whenever you need. We'll take a few more breaths here again. Feeling that inhale and exhale. Calling back all the parts of us into our hearts. Feeling our strength. Our inner strength. To truly look at ourselves. To be with ourselves. And to care for who it is that we are. And who it is that we are becoming. May this month strengthen us in courage. In transformative power. And in deeper love for ourselves and each other. As you're ready, You can slowly come out of this meditation. Open the eyes. Stretch the hands. Move the body. And take a moment to be here now. I hope you enjoyed this meditation. And may you have a beautiful restorative month.

Reviews

Excellent as all your meditations. Thank you, Hadar. The direction towards effortlessness and self compassion makes spaciousness for the work of soul accounting.

Exactly what I needed to begin Elul, thank you.

Thank you so much for this wonderful, directed meditation for Elul. I have been stumbling through my efforts to prepare for the New Year, and this really helped to focus me on my way to Teshuvah. Thank you🙏