Handling Reoccuring Thoughts - LL&L With Glenn Ambrose

In this episode we discuss ruminating thoughts and the tools needed to break down what's under the surface. Once we get honest with ourselves about disempowering belief systems, we then have the ability to change perspective in order to slow down recurring thoughts.

Transcript

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host, Glenn Ambrose. Hello, Everybody. I have this recurring thought that I should be doing something right now. Bring Aubrey on. That was so suiting for today's episode. Yeah. Can you see me like in the, Like when I take you off? Yeah. Can you see me? Like faded, I was all dancing and stuff. Did you see me? Oh, No, No, I don't see that part. When I remove us from the screen, There's like a little window on the bottom for me. And like, It's like faded out. So like, It's not sharp, But I can still see you. Yeah. And I can still see me. And I was sitting there and I was like, I wonder if she can see me, Like I can see her. So the music's playing. And I was like, I'm getting no reaction from her. I don't think she can see me. And I look really foolish right now. Now you know. Now I know. No reason to dance silly if you're not gonna see it. I mean, Listen. So if I'm gonna dance silly, I'll just wait until you're on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now you know. All right. Well, We got that all handled. So, So let's talk about a topic today. Recurring thoughts. So so what do you think? You want to lead us off on this? Yeah. Yeah. So today, We're talking about reoccurring thoughts. And obviously, When I say reoccurring, We're talking about the ones that aren't fun. Right. And so, Yeah, It's, I see it pretty common, You know, With myself with others, Just if there's typically following kind of like a stressful, Big, Stressful event in life, Whether it's a breakup, Or maybe it's, You know, Leaving a job or getting fired, You know, Or getting let go or it's just something that happens. It kind of has you on the downside of life. And as you're trying to pick yourself up, You find yourself having those reoccurring thoughts of maybe it's self worthlessness, Or just replaying, You know, Rejection in your mind and how to break out of that how to how to pivot or stop those reoccurring thoughts from reoccurring. Yeah, Yeah. So it's Yeah, It is something that we all deal with. And it's, You know, One of the like, Understanding the process of energy is helpful, Because it's like, You know, A thought is a unit of energy. So then it triggers into a, An emotion. And so so really, You know, There's kind of two parts. And once sometimes we have to release some of the emotion, Sometimes that causes recurring thoughts. Sometimes it doesn't, But it's always a good thing to tune into, To check to see, You know, If there's any negative feelings that you need to feel and release. But before you before you do that, You basically have to change the way you're looking at it. Or sometimes you can do a you can release some of it beforehand, And then some of it after or vice versa. But I mean, Like, But a big thing of stopping the thoughts and stopping the emotion from being create more emotion, Negative emotion being created, Is paying attention to how you look at it. You know, This is something that people a lot of times they don't do they don't, You know, They're like, Oh, Man, Somebody screwed me over. And you know, They're a jerk. Okay. And then they go on with life. And like, As long as your outlook is that that's detrimental towards you, Which is usually a version of victim mentality, Then you're like, Every time you're reminded of it, Or your ego wants to protect you, Or you hear that person's name, Or somebody looks like them or whatever, It's going to trigger more negative emotion being built up, You know, And it might regenerate those recurring thoughts to, You know, After something reminds you of it, You might have those recurring thoughts even more. So so like, We can't, You know, Like people say, You know, Oh, Let it go, Man, Just like let it go. You can't you. If you are a victim of something, Then that means that on an unconscious level, And oftentimes on a conscious level, You are there is something wrong with the world. There's something wrong. It's not fair. It's wrong. It shouldn't have happened. It's there's a flaw basically in the universe. So you know, Unconsciously, This is this is how we look at things like on a surface level, We rationalize a bunch of stuff, Oh, No, It's not a big deal, Or blah, Blah, Blah. No, Like, If you follow that thought deep enough, What you find is that if you are a victim mentality, Basically, You are believing a false truth about the universe, About the world and how it works. You can't just let that go. Because it's, There's a flaw in the universe that there's, Like, You can't feel safe in a universe that's flawed. You can't trust in a system that is flawed and victimizes you. So there's, There's an intricate flaw, An innate flaw in how you're perceiving reality. So you can't just let that go. You know, You have that perception of that victim mentality, It will continue to reoccur is what you're saying. Right, Because it's because the like, Every time something reminds you of it, It reminds you that you're a victim. And then and it generates, You know, Really negative thinking, You can't let go of that, This is why they're recurring. Because like, You can't just Oh, I'll just not think about that. Like, Oh, Really, Like you're gonna like this, There's an innate flaw in the entire universe, And you're screwed because of it, And you're just gonna let that go. You can't, You know, So so it's, You know, I know, It sounds extreme, But like, If you understand, It's just energy. So so like, If you, You have to follow it all the way down to understand it. And like, Basically, If so, You know, I'll use myself as an example, If I'm a victim of something, Then the one thing that I know for sure is that I'm looking at it wrong, Because I'm not, I'm not a victim of anything. You know, Like, I'm not a victim of somebody else. I'm not a victim of, Like, The world didn't screw up, You know, Like, The universe didn't like create all these planets and everything and then go, Whoops, Like, My bad, You know, Like, Life has been flowing for billions of years without our help. Like, The problem is us judge judging it as bad. There's nothing wrong with the universe. Now there are things that we like and things that we don't like, And we can avoid things that we don't like and lean towards things we do like, But we are not a victim. Foundationally, We are not a victim of other people. You know, Now, What it's not that it's impossible to be a victim in certain situations, Especially as children, You know, When you have no power and stuff like this, And like, You know, There are situations, But I'm talking as in general forms as adults, Once we so like, Even if something happens to us as a child, Like, And maybe we're victimized as a child, The only way we can transcend that, As an adult is if we reframe the way we view it. You know, And say, I am a, You know, This is where the mentality of being a survivor started coming from, You know, People, It's like, Okay, I'm not a rape victim, I'm a rape survivor. You know, This is that is, Yeah, That's the pivot, Because you as long as you're a victim, You are disempowering yourself. And that goes against the laws of the universe. It's, You know, It can't, The whole point of the universe is to empower us for us to be empowered. So anything that takes our power away is incongruent with nature. That's that's why I say it, You know, It's fun. We're saying that there's something fundamentally flawed in the universe when we act like a victim. Yeah, Because it's the only way it could have happened if, If the if the universe screwed up, Right, Right, Says that we can be victims of things. And the universe like no, You, The whole point is for you to find your power. Yeah, Empowered, You know, To for you to, Yes, You might experience some negative things and other people might inflict them on you. But if you use them to grow and transcend and become more of you, You will no longer be their victim. You know, So that's the whole point of it. Like, That's the whole point of controversy is to expand you to grow from it. It's not to smash you down into a little victim, And then have you stay like that for the rest of your life. You know, That's misuse of an unfortunate situation. When you go through an unfortunate situation, Sometimes you can't control whether you go through it or whether you don't go through it. So therefore, Initially, You can be that kind of that victim, You're like, Oh, No. But at some point, If you expect to have peace within you, You have to make peace with that situation. Yeah, So you, You have to shift it into you're no longer a victim, And you are empowered and stronger because of it and better because of it. Right? Yeah. Like, Like how you were. Yeah, It's kind of like, Like, Rejection is rejection. It's not, It's just what it is not being labeled. It just is what it is. But the suffering comes in when we label it, Like it shouldn't have happened. Right. And which, You know, Which would that that word rejection, It's so heavily immersed. It shouldn't have happened is so embedded in it. Yeah, Like, It's, It's hard. So, You know, Rejection is one of the hardest things to deal with. Because of that immersion of it shouldn't have happened and the illusion that it actually even did happen. Like nobody, There is no such thing as rejection. Like somebody can't actually reject you. They don't even know you. Like how, You know, You are an infinite, Eternal being. Right. So if you are aware of what you are, Nobody can reject you. And if anybody was aware of what you were and what they are, They wouldn't want to reject you because we're all one anyway. So technically, There is no such thing as rejection. So again, It's going deep enough to get to a fundamental truth that you can anchor into instead of playing these surface games. Yeah, Yeah. But I didn't want them to do that. So therefore, Well, I understand you didn't want them to do that. And, You know, And I'm sure that there was hurtful emotions, And you'll need to process those and all that stuff. But at some point, You have to get to the place of reframing it. Yeah, Learning what you were supposed to learn from it, And then reframing it, You know, And then becoming more because of it and better because of it. Yeah, You know, And this is taught in all spiritual teachings, All religions, It's all, You know, That I think in Christianity, They say something like, All your all your bad turns to good instantly, Like when God comes in, You know, And like, I experienced that with getting sober, Because that's when I blew open. So like, In three months, I went from hopeless alcoholic on my deathbed to awakened. Yeah, And it was so like, It was and sometimes I could even feel it happen in a millisecond, Like when something came into my consciousness as as negative, Like a past experience. Like as soon as it came in, It would literally like just shift and, And I would be I'd start feeling empowered because of it. You know, Because it was just I was seeing things differently from I saw everything from a spiritual perspective then. So it was just like, Oh, My God, This was remember when that how, Oh, My God, I'm awesome. And I can help others now because of this on top of it. Oh, My God, It's so beautiful. I frickin start crying. When you know, When I had a memory of something negative happening to me, Because crying out of joy. Wow. Yeah, It's, You know, So that's what happens when we use it all the negative experiences turn into our biggest assets. Yeah, You know, It shifts the energy of it because we use it for what it was intended for. Right? You know, And that's to grow. Yeah, We're forcing it in a place where it's not supposed to go, Which is inflicting. Yeah, Usually where people get caught up is something negative happens to them, And they don't learn from it. You know, They just go, Oh, No, This happened to me. Oh, No. Oh, I shouldn't have. Oh, No. Oh, This is horrible that it happened to me. I can't believe it happened to me. And you know, Then they and this is like one of my problems with like narcissists like that. That's like a frickin catchphrase at this point. Like I mean, In 2022, Like I narcissist, I heard that word probably 100 times in my life up until 2022. Then I heard it like 1000 times a week, You know, And like, I understand that there's narcissists and I understand that we need to watch out for narcissists and be aware of their behavior. But like what what it turned into was giving all these narcissists power. Oh, My God. Do you know what they do to people? They do to people what people allow them to do, Just like everything else. Like if we're waiting for to not be victimized by curing all the narcissist, All the codependent, All the and every other frickin label, The other 400 labels that we have for dysfunctional people, If we're waiting for all them to be healed for us to be safe, We're screwed. You're never going to be safe. But if you start working on yourself and going, Okay, Why was I a victim of a narcissist? Oh, Low self esteem. Oh, Okay. I didn't stand in my truth. They started flipping things around and I actually believe them. I can't do that no more. No, Right. Now we're learning now we're growing. You don't have to like I have no fear of meeting some, You know, Woman that is going to screw with my head in any way, Shape or form. Yeah, Zero fear. I trust me not because I don't think that there's a bunch of cray cray woman out there. You know, It's the second podcast of the night. I was just thinking that I'm like, You can tell it's the second podcast because I'm doing cray cray and no mo and all this stuff. I'm just interested to see what happens next. It's just anything. Just as long as if we record a third one, You don't even want to know. It's just not, I don't want to ever know. You don't. It wouldn't be arable. Yeah, We wouldn't be able to put it out. So yeah, We have to, You know, It's so like we have to reframe the scenario and a lot of times, I mean, Especially in the beginning, You know, We can get help from other people, You know, How, How, How can I flip this so I'm not the victim of them, You know? So like a lot of times what I'll do is I'll just do, I'll look at things like the opposite way. You know, I like to flip flop things. So it's like, Okay, You know, Well, It's their fault. Okay. What if it's my fault? How can I prevent this? You know, So you just flip the script and all of a sudden you start looking at it different ways. Another way is like, You know, When we're, When we're a victim of something, There's a lot of emotion around it. So sometimes it's hard to see. So sometimes you can picture that a friend of yours comes to you and say, You know, Hey, What would I tell my friend if, If my friend came up and said, Hey, This just happened to me and I want to reframe it. What would I tell them because that just disengages the, The emotional response from it being you, You know, So you can do that or talk to a life coach, You know, Get some help with it. But, But you've got to reframe that, You know, You've got to reframe the way you're looking at it. So you're no longer a victim because otherwise you're just going to, You're not going to be able to let it go mentally and you're not going to be able to let it go energetically. You know, You're just going to be creating more negative energy inside of you, Every emotional negative energy inside of you every time something reminds you of it. Yeah. Yeah. So for someone, I guess that it's for someone that's really deep in it, You know, Like in the beginning of the state of before you're even present before, You know what would your advice be to them in that space? Like a step, A first step. It's definitely the second podcast. I'm just laughing. Uh, Yeah, I did, You know, It's, I think they're going to have to find a way to reframe it quite honestly, Because I don't think you're going to make, Make much progress until you do. But, But, Um, Like probably after you reframe it, It doesn't necessarily mean that all the thoughts are going to stop, Right. You know, So like you can try it before you reframe it, But you probably have to reframe it first. Even after you reframe it, You know, The two things is one simply understanding that it's just a old thought and just replant the empowering one. Yeah. So, You know, Like our, Like we, We, We so much think that if a thought goes through our head, That it's us and we, So like, Oh my God. Like, You know, Oh, I, I thought about that person that victimized me, Victimizing me. So I must think that I'm a victim. No, That doesn't, That doesn't necessarily mean that it's just your brain is a computer and it spits out random thoughts that you don't ask it to spit out all the time, You know, And if you're not asking it to spit it out, Then you're not in control of it. And it can only spit out what has been put in, You know, It's, It's, It's a computer. So, You know, Once, Once you latch onto a thought it's in there and it can spit it out at any, Any time. Who was it? I think it might've been told I was talking about this many years ago. And I think he was talking about a lamp or a vase. I think it was a vase. And he was like, Yeah, Or no, It might've been Michael singer, But whatever. He's talking about a vase and he's like, Oh, Look at this vase. It's, This reminds me of my grandmother's vase. Like, You know, Except it's blue. Whose voice is that? Like you're not asking your brain to think those things. It's just this dialogue that goes on all the time and it happens. So all the time, So we don't even know we're identified with it. We think it's us. And it's just regurgitated thoughts spitting out, You know? So when these, When these thoughts come out, You know, I had to learn it when I get sober, Because you know, As an alcoholic, If you obsess about drinking for 20 years, That's pretty well embedded in there. So the first time I thought about drinking, I called my sponsor and I'm like, I'm thinking about drinking. He's like, Well, Do you want to drink? No. Okay. I like you getting in the car to drive to the liquor store? No. Okay. Then don't worry about it. It's just the thought passing through. It's like, Oh, I didn't know they did that. So it's about understanding. Attaching to fleeting thoughts when they do it. Yeah, I see what you're saying. The more energy that you're pressing into those thoughts, The more they're going to manifest versus if you just let it flow by. Yeah, Right. It's like, And then like, Once I was like, Actually sober, And anchored into it, And like, Occasionally, You know, Might be sitting there on a hot summer day, And I'm, And I'm kicking back and go, Man, No, It'd be awesome right now is a nice cold beer. And you start picturing the, The, You know, Like the frosty mug, And the sweat coming down it and you're like, The first, You know, After a while, I'd start thinking about that. I'd be like, Oh, That sounds really good. Then all of a sudden, I'd be like, Wait a minute, Am I thinking about having a beer? I'm an alcoholic, I can't have a beer. And I'd start laughing, You know, Because I didn't fear the thoughts anymore. I understood that there were just thoughts. So once I created that separation between them, And they would come in, And I knew that they didn't control me, Or they weren't me, It was just some thought coming through, They didn't have any energy unless I put energy to it. You know, It's kind of like a cloud passing by. You don't pull a cloud in front of you. You know, You just sit there and it comes into view. And if and if you don't do anything, It keeps moving, And it passes out of view. You don't push it out of view. It's the same thing with thoughts. Yeah, That's an analogy I use in my yoga. When I do Shavasana, I always tell my students to think of their thoughts like clouds passing by. Just no judgment, Like no judgment, No nothing, Just as if you're just noticing. Just noticing it, Letting it go, Waving goodbye. Because they don't really have much energy. I mean, They are units of energy, But very minimal until you attach to it. If you put your awareness or your consciousness onto it, That's your energy. So as soon as you put your energy to it, It's deriving, That thought is deriving energy from you. And that's what feeds it and blows it up into something bigger and traumatic and difficult and not able to be managed. So yeah, Once you understand that they're just thoughts, You can let them go. Especially once you take the emotional charge out of it, You reframe it. So if that negative thought starts grabbing a hold of you, You can just remind yourself, Especially in the beginning, Be like, No, No, No, That's the old way of looking at it. I look at it like this now. And then you, See, That's an opportunity to reinforce the seed that you already planted. Because you're letting go of the old way of viewing it, And you're reinforcing the new way of viewing it. So that's which kind of leads into the replacement technique. So in this particular situation, You just replace it with the thing that you reframed it with. I see. So that just. . . You take the framework first, And then you remove and replace. Right. Yeah. So it's just so whenever. . . So it's funny, Because it turns something detrimental into something positive. So because before, It's the old thought would make you feel bad about yourself. Now, You're using your brain as a technique or a like a red flag to work on yourself to reinforce something positive. So every time something negative comes up, You go, Oh, No, This is my opportunity. So instead of feeling, Oh, Crap, I feel like crap about myself, You go, Oh, Yeah, This is my opportunity to feel good about myself, To empower myself. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. So it's that because not thinking about something doesn't work, You know? Right. So. . . You probably should try it before, Trying to not. Right. Yeah. Trying to not think about something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 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Reviews

A lot of actionable insights for anyone going through a breakup or divorce

Wonderfully informative as always. Thank you so much 💓