(Wk 14) Integrity Part 4 Of 5 - Unleash Your Peace

Does too much integrity create a fear of commitment? On our fourth day talking about Integrity, we explore the intricate relationship between integrity and commitment. Could you be compensating for your lack of integrity with your exceptional ability to commit? Or is your superior integrity creating a fear of commitment?

Transcript

Hello and welcome back to Unleash Your Peace.

My name is Ali Shoja.

I am your host.

I'm a positive mindset coach,

A personal transformation expert,

A deliberate creator,

And I am your peace trainer.

Now,

Unleash Your Peace is your peace training.

It's a podcast where every single week we dive into a different aspect about the internal world.

We do that over the course of five episodes published Monday through Friday.

The episodes are super short.

They're under 10 minutes each,

And that is actually intentional.

Because I don't want them to be a huge time commitment for you.

I want you to have something positive and uplifting to listen to in the morning.

And the purpose of that is to go inward so that you can start shedding all of this unwanted pain you're carrying and find lasting internal peace and happiness so you can live your best life.

Now,

That's exactly what happens when we go inward,

When we live from that place of joy and peace and connectedness to that non-physical part of us that holds all of our potential,

That beingness of us.

When we do that,

We don't just incrementally improve the quality of our lives.

We exponentially innovate every aspect of our experiences on this physical plane.

We become whole.

We become powerful creators.

We start living the lives of our dreams because we live deliberately in that state of being,

And we inspire everyone around us to do the same.

And that trickles out into society,

And next thing you know,

We're leveling up as a human race.

Now,

This week we're talking about integrity.

We've talked about the importance of integrity in the creation process,

In that manifestation process because when your word becomes law,

That's essentially what happens when you live in integrity all the time.

Your word becomes law.

Then anything you say becomes the thing.

It becomes real.

So creating from that place,

That certainty,

That trust that what you say is the law,

Is the thing that is going to happen,

Creates such security and trust and confidence within you.

It creates that vibrational stance of confidence that whatever you say is going to come to pass,

And that ultimately is going to attract to you everything that you are asking for.

So essentially by living in integrity all the time,

You are doing your part in deliberately creating your life,

And you're helping the law of attraction bring to you whatever it is you want out of life.

If you missed that episode that was Tuesday's episode,

Really short and sweet,

This thing that I'm going to talk about today,

This is very much active within a really close friend of mine,

And if one person is experiencing it,

Chances are more people are experiencing it too.

And you might actually be saying to me,

You know,

Ali,

I am in a place where I am bothered by the not-in-integrity actions of other people,

And I see that as a lack of respect,

I see that as a lack of integrity,

And it's a character issue and all this stuff,

But when I look at myself,

I am in integrity all the time.

I try to uphold integrity all the time,

Be in that space of giving my word only when I know I can stick to it and sticking to it at any cost.

And this place is actually where one of my close friends is.

She sees a lot of lack of integrity around herself,

But she is perhaps one of the most in integrity people that I know.

She never makes a commitment that she knows she's not going to be able to keep a hundred percent.

If she makes a commitment and she has to change it,

She's the first person on the phone calling every single person affected by that change and letting them know why she's changing it and offering her help in correcting any kind of mess that is created by that.

And I actually had a pretty long conversation with her about this last week,

And we discovered that one of the problems,

One of the things that she struggles with is commitment.

She has a real fear of commitment,

And last week,

The big aha moment for us was realizing that this fear of commitment was rooted in her commitment to integrity.

How does that work?

What does that even mean?

So to understand that,

We have to kind of like understand her family a little bit.

So she grew up feeling very much frustrated by the lack of integrity around herself.

So her family,

You know,

They might say something and they don't follow through with it.

They're always late and all of this stuff.

So she has a real sensitivity to people making a commitment and not keeping it.

So as a result of that,

She's extremely hard on herself when it comes to making commitments.

So anytime she makes a commitment,

It is finite.

It is the thing.

So it feels very much permanent for her.

And because of this,

She's very reluctant to make commitments.

So anytime when it comes to making a decision about a job or a person to be with and so forth,

It is a struggle for her to dive completely in.

So she has one foot in,

One foot out because she feels like if I dive completely in,

I'm completely committed to this.

Can I do this for the rest of my life?

And that's literally what she's thinking is I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.

So I should have one foot out.

So this then creates a problem.

Yes,

We want to have integrity.

We want to have integrity 100% of the time,

As close to 100% as humanly possible.

And what does that mean to be an integrity?

It means you are your word.

So you keep your word when you give it.

But if you can't keep it because after all,

We are human and things happen and there are situations that come up where we can't follow through with the thing that we have promised,

Then we call the person or all of the persons involved and let them know immediately that we're not going to be able to stick to our word here.

And how can we help alleviate any mess that that creates?

So that is honoring your word.

So you're either your word or you're honoring your word.

Now where we jump into a little bit of problem is in this situation,

For example,

That my friend is in where you are so afraid of that commitment,

That jumping full all the way in that you are unable to make any decisions at all.

And here I want to give this analogy of a tree.

When we commit to something,

We want to be able to commit enough so that our roots go into the soil.

So we ground ourselves into that decision that we have made.

However,

We don't want to be so rigid that we're not swaying with the wind because if we are really rigid,

That tree,

If it is not swaying with the wind,

It's going to break.

However,

If we are willing to go and do this dance with the wind,

Whatever happens,

Then we're going to create a tree that is stronger.

So what does that look like in real life?

What that looks like in real life is that yes,

When you make a commitment,

You want to gauge it.

You want to say,

Okay,

Is this something that I can and want to do?

And you make a commitment with all of the intention of following through with it.

But life throws different windstorms at you.

Life throws different curve balls at you.

You don't want to be so rigid that you're not willing to modify,

Change,

Or do that dance with the curve balls that are coming your way.

Otherwise you're just going to break under the weight of it.

To give you an example from my own life,

A few weeks ago I got an opportunity to work with a very exciting startup and I'm excited about this project.

I think what they're doing is quite remarkable.

It could be revolutionary if it works and I have done quite a bit of work on it already and given a lot of feedback on it already.

But last week I decided that it is vibrationally not aligned with where I am because there were certain red flags that I was noticing throughout the time,

Throughout the three or four weeks that I was working with these people that I had been ignoring in my excitement of the idea of the project.

So I had a moment where I could just ignore the situation and see what happens or I could be in integrity and the moment I realized that I don't actually want to quote unquote get in bed with these people professionally,

I decided to send an email and say,

You know,

I really appreciate this opportunity and I've enjoyed getting to know about the project,

But at this point I'm not interested in being a part of it and I wish them all the success.

Writing that email was not easy and I said I use this trick where I call on the integrity version of myself to come in and have these conversations.

So I called on that version of me to write this email and she did a beautiful job and she wrote a wonderful email.

I say she,

It's me,

But it's a version of me who knows how to communicate really clearly in this way and have that difficult conversation without having any kind of a yucky feeling about it.

But the thing to realize is that during the time I was there,

I didn't have one foot in and one foot out.

I was completely emerged in this project because I wanted to know all of the different aspects that I'm getting myself into if I were to make that decision to be completely involved with it.

So I didn't hold back.

I dove in and I participated and I came to the table with whatever my strengths are that I could contribute to the project.

And because of that,

I was able to see whether or not this was really something that I wanted to be involved with long term because as you know,

Business partnerships in that way can be quite involved.

They are like a marriage.

And was I willing to enter a marriage with these people?

No,

I was not at the end of the day,

But I didn't half ass the dating process of figuring that out.

I don't know if any of that makes sense.

I hope it does.

All of that to say that if you are holding back from actually making decisions because you have a fear that you may not be able to follow through with it,

I would really recommend looking at that and finding that sweet spot in the middle.

Because if you want to lead,

If you want to have a fulfilling life,

You need to make decisions.

And the only thing you can do is make those decisions from the best possible intentions of being in integrity all the time,

Going through and following through with it all the time.

And if you can't,

That's okay too.

It's not the end of the world.

You can modify the plan.

You can roll with the waves.

You can dance with the wind,

Honor your word,

And you're still in integrity in that situation.

You don't have to be so harsh on yourself.

Now until tomorrow when we come back and we conclude this topic of integrity,

I hope that you will find peace unleashed on Instagram and receive some of those love notes that I write for you.

Those are meant to uplift and inspire you.

That's their entire purpose.

And if you want to work with me at any capacity,

You can reach out to me through peace unleashed.

Com and I'm always happy to hear from you.

I love you guys so much.

Thank you for being a part of this peace unleashed journey.

I really appreciate every one of you.

And until tomorrow,

I wish you a peace-filled day.

Reviews

Thank you Ellie!

Loving these podcasts. They give me a confidence boost on the journey into work each day. Thank you. 🙏