Good morning,
Everyone.
Good evening,
Good afternoon,
Wherever you are,
And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.
My name is Ellie Sheva,
And I'm here this morning with David,
And we have a very special guest that we will introduce momentarily.
We are continuing our conversation on relationships.
This is episode number two,
And as promised last week,
We're going to focus on the feminine aspect,
The feminine role we have in relationships.
The Weekly Energy Boost is a spiritual energy forecast,
And this month we're focusing our time and energy on discussing relationships,
Because according to Kabbalah,
That's what's going to be thrown in our face.
There is no user's manual,
They say,
For life.
However,
We beg to differ.
Kabbalah really is that user's manual,
And by understanding the opportunities and potential challenges that may come to us in the coming weeks,
We can not only navigate them in real time but also going forward in our lives,
Navigating our relationships in the best way possible,
And that's really what we're doing here this week and for the next few weeks as we discuss relationships and their relevance in our life.
For that reason,
We brought on a great person,
Obviously.
It's good that we bring on great people.
That's our standard.
We only bring on great people,
But for this particular episode,
We're bringing on Matthew Wade of My Silent Bravery,
Who I was inspired to bring onto the show.
He a couple of years ago wrote a column for an online magazine that I was obsessed with.
No,
I wasn't obsessed.
I was passionate about.
Teen Vogue.
Teen Vogue,
You know me.
We wanted to bring in Matt's perspective on living,
Trying to be the best person you can,
Whether in relationships and between relationships,
And he has been a long-time student of spirituality as well and brings that into everything he does,
Into his writing,
Into his music.
He has a beautiful program that he presents on social media,
And Matt,
We'll give you some time to share with us a little bit about that.
Before we get there,
David,
You are the person,
You are the inspiration for these episodes because all through these last few years that we've been doing Weekly Energy Boost,
You've dangled this carrot,
And you've said over and over again,
Okay,
Listeners,
Do you want an episode about female and male?
Do you want to hear what you're supposed to be doing?
You're doing wrong.
You're doing right.
What's your problem?
That's why we had to do these episodes,
And I want to both curse you and thank you.
This is a template off of some of the classes that we teach.
I think in Cabala 3,
I would say in the beginning,
And these are the highest rated classes that we teach in our courses,
And I thought,
Why aren't we doing this on our podcast?
Today's focus is going to be on feminine energy and the feminine role,
And I think we need to preface this.
I don't know if we talked about it in last week's episode,
But we need to preface it with the idea that Cabala believes that there are two energies.
There are two energies.
There's the feminine energy and a masculine energy,
And we're not thinking of this in terms of men and women.
Before certain people get all up in arms,
We're not talking about men and women.
We're talking about energies,
The way we have a plus and a minus,
The way an atom has a proton,
An electron,
Two distinct energies.
They somehow work together to create the building block of life.
Each one of us as individual people,
We have feminine energy and masculine spiritual energy.
We have these two spiritual forces inside of us,
And each one has its superpower.
Let's say you and they play a different role.
The way to just be clear about it is the feminine energy superpower is the ability to draw and to manifest.
I don't want to toot my own horn,
But yeah.
Yeah,
That's your superpower,
To draw and to manifest.
It doesn't mean that Elisheva has a superpower and I don't because I may have feminine energy and to the extent that I do,
That's my power to draw and to manifest with the female energy kabbalistically can manifest,
Bring something to fruition.
We know this from the egg that a woman carries and that's how she manifests a child.
She's responsible for manifesting the child,
Not the man.
The man's superpower is to channel energy.
That is the male role.
The male role is the channeling of the energy as denoted by the sperm.
The woman's job is to receive it to manifest.
These are two distinct superpowers and one without the other creates no manifestation.
This male-female dynamic exists in every part of our lives.
For example,
We are teaching concepts on a podcast.
What are we doing?
We're channeling energy.
This is the part of our lives where we play a male role of channeling energy and our audience,
Whether you're a man or woman,
It doesn't matter,
Our audience is playing the role of a female energy.
To the degree that you let the wisdom in,
To that degree,
You're accessing that feminine power.
That feminine power,
Right?
Every time you're receiving wisdom,
Advice,
Energy of any kind and you manifest that energy,
Meaning you hear this and you make a change in your life.
You hear this and it elevates you.
You hear this and you do some kind of action to manifest that energy.
That is the female power at its height.
So teacher-student,
The teacher is the male energy,
The student's the female.
Us and the creator,
Right?
All of humankind,
We are female relative to the creator.
Creator is male energy channeling.
So why do we bring this up?
Because Kabbalah believes that every relationship in order to reach its highest point of greatness must have the right energy,
The right balance of male and female.
So even if two men are married or two women are together or even if you don't identify as a gender and you're together with someone else who doesn't identify as a gender,
All of that's great.
You just need to know that for the relationship to work,
These two forces of channeling and manifestation need to be balanced,
What we call masculine and feminine energy.
And that's,
By the way,
We mentioned that last week,
That the whole existence of those two genders or energies is simply an emulation of what happened when the world began,
That creation story between the light and the vessel.
So in any given moment,
Now you go and share the show,
You then go from feminine strength to masculine strength.
And so it's a dance that takes place throughout our lives.
And that's to me as a woman,
If I may speak for a second,
That is one of the things that I think is most challenging about our time is that we're expected to be more masculine than feminine all the time.
I actually read something interesting and somebody made a comment in your class last week.
I made a guest appearance in one of David's classes last week and David made a comment about my 900 kids and I have so much free time on my hand.
And someone wrote in the chat,
I think it was to me privately even,
How do I deal with such misogynistic comments from you?
And I of course told her,
Please,
It's a run on joke between David and I,
First of all,
But second of all- I'm trying to catch up to her with kids.
I'm trying to spit them out two at a time.
Okay.
We're going to leave that right there.
The truth is,
And this is one of the,
Like I said,
It can put us in a difficult position,
Is that on one hand,
The society really expects women to perform not only at home,
But also in the workforce.
And the wisdom of Kabbalah comes and says,
Wait a second,
Women are the more spiritually elevated of the two.
There is less action required for a woman to achieve the same spiritual height as a man.
And that's one of the things I know that Matt,
You've been a student of spirituality,
A student of Kabbalah for a very long time.
When you hear that women are of a more elevated perspective,
How does that make you feel?
Where do you see your role as the male in this whole conversation?
Well,
Let me start off by saying I'm no expert when it comes to how women operate.
I try and do my best to observe and to offer insight.
But in most cases I found that a lot of the time the women is more spiritually elevated.
And something that I've sort of learned is to allow them to take the role to guide the relationship in whatever form of relationship that might be,
Whether it be a friendship,
Whether it may be a relationship.
And that's sort of their primary task.
It's their job,
From what I've learned,
To guide.
And I think especially for a lot of male,
We can always use that guidance.
Well,
That to me actually,
When I heard that as a beginning student,
I was almost insulted.
Because don't tell me it's my responsibility.
Don't tell me it's my job to manage the relationship.
Don't tell me it's up to me if the relationship succeeds or fails.
But if you heard what David said a few minutes ago,
As the female side representing that manifestation or,
I'll give you the best example.
And I've tried this personally and you've heard me say it before,
Kabbalah is so annoying.
And now you'll understand why I say Kabbalah is so annoying.
The idea is that,
Let's say,
If you're a woman,
I was going to say head of households,
We're not here to discuss that,
But you live with other people.
Test this,
It works.
If you decide in the morning,
It's going to be a great day and everybody's going to have a great day.
And that's your mindset.
I promise you at the end of the day,
If you have a conversation with all the people that you live with,
They will in fact have had a great day.
And that's so annoying because the responsibility is,
I'm that powerful.
Now you can also say,
Oh my God,
How amazing I am that powerful.
But knowing that we have the ability with our consciousness,
With our mindset to decide which way it goes.
And by the way,
A relationship succeeding might mean that it ends.
That's another huge revelation that we kind of touched very gently last week.
But the idea that success means it's best for both of us.
It's win-win for both of us in the long term.
And that's really that feminine ability to manifest.
That's really how it expresses itself.
So I want to share some Kabbalistic secrets about the female role.
And as you're listening to this,
You can apply this to any part of your life where you play the female role.
When you're going to see your parents and your parents are so excited that you're coming to see them and they want to give to you,
They want to share with you,
You're playing this female role.
As a student to any mentor,
Teacher,
Guide,
You're going to play a female role.
In a relationship,
You're going to play a female role many times when the other person needs to share with you or give to you or is deciding to be with you.
As you're dating,
You're dating someone and they're deciding,
Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person?
You're going to be playing a female role.
And of course,
As a woman as well,
The primary energy is going to be this female role.
And it's so simple when it comes down to what this concept is,
Which is I need to receive and manifest.
That means very much like this cup of coffee I have here,
For this cup of coffee to do its job well,
It has to do one thing.
It has to receive the coffee and it has to manifest it,
Meaning it has to provide for me the ability to drink it.
Maybe it means keeping the coffee warm.
Maybe it means not cracking along the way,
Not spilling.
It also means that the cup needs to hold exactly the amount of coffee that I want to give it.
If it takes on too much coffee,
I imagine the barista gives you a cup that's spilling all over the sides.
You're like,
What is this?
What?
I didn't order this.
It's all over the place.
Or they give you a cup that's only half full.
You're also angry.
It needs to know exactly how much energy it can hold and how much it can handle.
So it all comes down to being the vessel that can receive and manifest.
Now I'll give you an example.
What is the greatest gift a student can give to a teacher?
We're teachers.
We have students.
We have all the students we take care of.
Matt,
You're a rock star.
You have millions of people like oohing and aahing over you.
Can you imagine you're looking at your audience and you're performing and someone's just kind of rolling their eyes and falling asleep.
This is an example of a bad vessel.
This is a bad vessel.
So if I'm teaching a class – It's definitely happened before.
It's definitely happened before.
It's happened to Alicia.
I don't believe that.
I don't remember teaching classes where someone just like – I had a guy who was facing the other way and just like his back was to me and I'm like,
This is not going to work.
Another guy is still sleeping and these are bad vessels.
Why are they bad vessels?
Because they're not engaged.
They're not receiving my energy.
And even the ones who are paying attention and it looks like they're receiving,
Sometimes like a week later I'd be like,
Oh,
How was last week's class?
And they're like,
I don't remember.
What was it about?
So they didn't manifest.
They received but they didn't manifest.
So receiving and manifesting is the power that makes you a great female in any relationship.
So either people have a hard time receiving the energy,
They receive too much,
They don't receive enough,
They don't know how to receive or they don't know what to do with that and to manifest.
So sometimes when I have a teacher or someone that I'm working with,
I even let them know,
You know,
I heard everything you said and I applied it this week and I saw miracles.
That's the great,
That synergy right there and then you feel that they're like so happy that they gave to you and how they want to give even more.
So you're actually opening up the channels of energy from the male role.
So we can take this into dating for example or as the role of a woman in any relationship.
Men and I would love to hear your opinion about this,
Matt.
So I wanted Matt on the woman show because I wanted Matt to share his opinion about dating women in his life and I apologize to our audience that we're just for the sake of simplicity,
We're just going to say men dating women even though we address all types of relationships and we're not trying to discriminate by focusing on one type of relationship or another just for the sake of ease,
Just be with me.
What do men look for in a relationship?
Whether conscious or unconscious,
We're looking for something when we are looking for a mate.
What I would love to know from you,
I can tell you from speaking to thousands of men regarding relationships and I want to hear what Ellie Shev has to say because Ellie Shev has thousands of male students.
Thousands of male students.
In the last 20 years accumulated.
Yes,
Okay,
Maybe.
Not at this current moment.
So I can say that the number one thing that I know men are looking for is how will this person receive and manifest my energy?
Are they bringing out the best in me?
Are they stable?
Are they stable?
So this is a big thing because if there's too much instability given,
Signs of instability in the dating phase and the friendship phase,
It makes the male feel insecure about channeling that energy.
It's kind of like I want to channel energy but the cup is broken.
It's kind of cracked.
It's kind of broken.
It's kind of or it's not clean.
I mean spiritually speaking,
It's almost like is she taking care of herself?
Does she love herself?
Does she believe in herself?
Does she believe in her power?
Does she have self-love?
These are all things unconsciously all channels of energy are looking for.
So I just want to just share that little intro for a moment and you know here,
Matt,
What's your opinion about?
I'd say the number one thing that I'd want to experience is to feel,
You know,
Supported.
You want to feel loved.
You want to feel supported as you just sort of mentioned.
If you have a vessel that's channeling the energy,
Holding the energy,
You want to make sure that it's compatible.
Not only is it compatible that it's manifesting all that energy in the best way possible and I've been in different types of relationships and I think everyone has their gifts to offer and there's been relationships,
Long-term relationships that I've been in where let's say we talked about this just sort of how a man manifests light and feeling supported in that is the number one thing.
But I want to go a little deeper there with you.
When was the last time you were dating somebody now?
It's going well.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
It's not easy for a rock star to be in a long-term relationship.
Is it true?
It's true.
Okay.
It's true.
I mean,
I can't speak for all of them.
Yes.
For myself,
It's taken some work.
I'm not,
You know,
It has.
It's work.
All right.
So it's spiritual work.
Before this relationship,
We'll get to that in a moment.
Your last long-term relationship,
How long was it?
It was about two and a half years and it was about a dozen years ago and it was very serious.
I thought,
You know,
That I was going to end up marrying this girl,
Wonderful girl.
And it ended up not working out at the end,
Basically because she wanted to change the way that I manifest my life.
Oh,
So she said,
I love that you're a musician,
A talented one,
A rock star,
But I think I want you to become a cardiothoracic heart surgeon at Mount Sinai Hospital.
I mean,
She didn't say that,
But yes,
More or less.
You're protecting the innocent.
Yes.
Have you ever considered medical school?
Yeah.
She was uncomfortable with me being a musician for a living.
And for me,
That's how I manifest my energy,
How I put light out into the world and how I share.
So how can I be with someone that's uncomfortable with that?
So she wanted to go into this partnership wanting to change me.
And I think that it's important that women know going in,
You need to be comfortable with who your partner is,
Or if it's man and man,
Or as we mentioned earlier,
Are women,
Women,
You need to be comfortable with who your partner is and how they put energy out into the world.
And if you're going into the relationship trying to change them,
It's never going to work.
Beautiful.
I mean,
He just nailed it.
But there's nothing wrong with that girl saying that I don't feel comfortable,
Right?
Because she probably didn't like your hours or the way where you were.
I can see that it would make one insecure if their significant other was on stage being oodled and oddled at constantly.
That's like,
I don't know.
I totally relate.
And at the same time,
You know- There's nothing wrong with that.
It just means that there's a lack of compatibility,
But we're trying to recognize that ahead of time.
And that's the brilliant thing about looking at this from a spiritual perspective is that if my intention,
I'm willing to be with you under the pretense that you're going to change,
People change.
That's a given.
Right.
Right.
But I'm here under the pretense that things are going to change or you're going to change.
You're setting yourself up for disaster.
This is so important,
What you just said and what Matt just said,
Because people should know that the number one thing that a man wants,
And he said the word,
He said trust.
A man needs trust and support in the way he channels energy in this world.
And if you don't give that,
What you're doing is you're creating a deal-breaking scenario.
Now,
That doesn't mean that what he does needs to be refined.
That doesn't mean that what he's doing might not need to be elevated or monetized,
Right?
Because if you were just playing your guitar at home and you're saying,
You know,
Believe in my passion and she's like,
Well,
I don't see how you're going to support our family.
There's a point there.
So what's important to know,
And this is where spirituality comes in,
Is that you can't tell someone,
You can't tell a man what to do or how to do it with his energy,
But you can do it in a way that he knows you trust him and you support him and you are partnering with him so that he can become the greatest version of himself.
And this is the same thing with children,
The same thing with anybody in our lives.
We have to be very careful not to demolish their way that they manifest or they believe they can manifest their soul's energy just because it's inconvenient for us.
Well I,
Okay.
The thing that comes to my mind,
And of course I'm the female in the room listening to two men talk,
Have this discussion right now,
That when I think about the people that I've worked with over the years that have struggled with their relationships,
Even the long-term ones,
It is often a discussion about energy,
Balancing the energy in the relationship.
And when two people are dating,
There's a bit of a game or a tango that we talk about.
And again,
This is just a mirroring of spiritual worlds more than anything,
Is that women,
And I can speak as a recovering woman,
We as females tend to want to give.
That's our nature.
It's easy to share.
And so we end up giving too much and therefore not allowing the other person to be a giver,
To be a creator,
To be a part of the circuitry in the relationship.
The example I remember reading was about if you have a handyman come to your house to fix your refrigerator and they say to you,
They get to your house and they say,
It's going to be $800 to fix the refrigerator.
I know,
It's a random number.
I forget the number.
And you hand the person $800 as they step over the threshold into your home,
Would you do that?
No,
You would wait for them to fix the broken thing and then you would give them the money.
At best,
You would give a deposit,
But you certainly wouldn't give out all the money.
And this is not about,
What's the phrase,
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
I'm not even talking about that,
Right?
That's a cliche.
Never heard that.
That's great.
You've never heard that before?
Never.
I never heard that.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Never heard that.
So that's something that older generations use to tell us to keep our legs crossed and things like that.
Got it.
That's a polite way to say it.
But the truth is we do it energetically.
That's my point that in the beginning of the relationship,
And I've talked about this person many,
Many times.
I had a student years ago who was a runaway bride.
She literally walked out of her own wedding ceremony because she realized that she was so much the doer and the giver and so actively creating her relationship that she could not commit to do that for the rest of her life and walked out during the ceremony.
So that part of what I think our listeners need to hear,
Again,
Regardless of your gender,
How you identify and if you're in a relationship or not,
Is when you do meet someone.
By the way,
This happens in business too.
If you get to work at a job,
You're so excited,
You give 150%,
And then a month or two in,
You're burned out because you can't possibly maintain that level of giving for the rest of your career.
So part of what Kabbalah teaches us about relationships is managing the energy,
Not only not giving the milk for free,
But also allowing the other person to make the effort to receive the milk.
That's beautiful.
Absolutely.
Well,
That's the big part too,
Which we sort of know.
I think it might even be more subconsciously or people that do study spirituality.
The man essentially,
Whether he knows it or not,
Needs to earn the woman's love,
Trust,
And respect.
That's a big part of the effort that the man or the male energy puts forth.
It's earning that love,
All the effort that she's putting in.
And we got so much good stuff on what the men need to do in our next episode.
So we're not just picking on the woman here.
We have so much good content.
Actually,
More things a man needs to do than even a woman,
But we're going to get to that in the next show.
So as men in relationships,
What does it feel like?
Let's put it this way.
How bad does it feel when your significant other is doing something for you because they should?
This is the next point I wanted to make.
And first,
I want to say relationships are so complicated.
Just because we say do this or do that doesn't mean that this is now the thing that's going to solve all your problems.
Relationships need a multifaceted approach.
We are sharing one dimension of wisdom that you can incorporate and then you'll have the next two shows about relationships to get more wisdom.
And put this in your toolbox.
But it is much more complicated.
Oftentimes when I give these classes,
People get inspired but they also get confused and they say,
Well,
How do I apply that in my own life?
And then it requires kind of like one on one work to mold it into their lives.
So I don't want you all to feel like it's black or white as we're saying it.
But we've said so far how important it is to trust and to support the person in your relationship and the way they bring their light and their gifts into the world.
On the other side of that,
How do I know I'm a giver?
How do I know what I'm doing is right?
Is when I feel my partner is happy.
And one of the things that all men unconsciously look for in a relationship,
They have this like filter in their brain is,
Is she happy?
Is she happy?
Is she sad?
If she's sad,
He automatically assumes he's not doing the right thing.
And I talked to so many men and their biggest complaint often is that they feel emasculated by the fact that she might be going through a tough time or she's sad and men always take it personally.
So there's probably something more in the men's show we're going to talk about where I have to tell the men,
It's not about you.
It's not personal.
You're not doing something wrong necessarily.
There's probably more you can do.
But this goes both ways is happiness,
Is joy that the female has.
Why is that important?
Because one of the things I tell single women is before we enter a relationship,
Let's get to the highest level of self love and the resolution of certain fears and issues you have inside yourself,
Including whatever unresolved things you have with past relationships,
Parents,
Because if you drag all that stuff into your committed relationship,
You're going to go through a rollercoaster of emotions,
A lot of ups and downs,
A lot of wounds will come out.
And what will happen is that man will think it's all his fault and you will feel and there's a point of no return.
Sometimes when the man feels like there's nothing I can do,
This relationship's already been jaded,
Broken,
Whatever it is.
So important for a single woman to go through a spiritual journey as we're learning it.
Self love,
Understanding yourself,
Loving yourself,
Being secure with yourself is the essence of a stable vessel.
Don't do this work of self love in the relationship.
Try to do as much of it as possible before the relationship.
What about to all of our listeners who are in relationships?
So if you're in a relationship,
Then to realize that it's never too late,
There's a reason why the creator put you in this scenario,
I would focus on all the things that we're learning now.
And with the women that I work with,
I tell them,
Stop looking for the man to change,
To reveal his light in a different way.
None of the focus can be on what he is or he is not doing.
Unless it's an abusive relationship,
Then we've got to leave it obviously.
But three months,
You 100% focus on yourself to become such an unbelievable vessel,
Like the best vessel that can manifest so much light and you'll see that his light will shine through,
Through the home,
Through the children,
Through your conversations.
And that's what usually gets men to become spiritual because a lot of times women come to Kabbalah first and they're all into it and the guys think like.
.
.
I think it's like a proven statistic that in any spiritual path,
Like 70% of the followers or practitioners are female and 30% of them are male.
100% and that's probably the demographic in our classes as well.
And often the male is very skeptical and rightfully so because a man is a channel of energy,
Obviously he doesn't feel like he needs the creator.
Men usually think they're the creator,
Which is fine,
But it's not.
It's very limiting.
And either a man needs to be broken,
His ego gets broken,
Which we've seen happen very often to men,
Or he's so inspired by his partner's transformation that it draws light through the man and he becomes inspired and become spiritual.
So many examples of that happening.
I think communication is important as well because the way that the male and female energy process energy a little differently,
Whereas men are doers and women are more talkers and communicators.
Women often want to talk about things and men want to just go ahead and if something's wrong like you're saying,
So the woman's upset,
The men just want to go automatically and fix the problem and make it so that the woman's happy.
So I think it's important to have good communication and be on the same page in your communication and knowing that,
Okay,
Women want to talk about it.
Men want to actually go and solve or fix whatever may be ailing.
This is a cliche I talked about last week.
Do you want to share something?
I was going to share.
I won't forget.
Go.
I gave a five-minute lesson that I shared with my closest students and it says five minutes that when I've shared it in classes,
People have said because of this,
They didn't get divorced.
This is just this five-minute concept.
I'm not going to give it five minutes,
But once you realize that the female is a vessel,
What happens to a vessel?
I think of my car in the morning when I come go into my car.
Car is kind of like a vessel for all the leaves that want to fall on it and all the other nonsense that drops on your car.
I realize my car is really taking a beating every day because it's outdoors,
So I need to clean it.
Every vessel,
What happens is that everyone else's garbage goes into that vessel,
Kind of the same way your car gets dirty.
The female energy accumulates.
Everyone else's,
Ticón,
Negativity,
Garbage,
Whatever it is.
The male energy has this ability to be like a river,
To flow,
Allow things to just not be personal,
But the female energy collects.
Absorbs.
Absorbs.
Collects and absorbs because that's their job,
Right?
To receive and to manifest.
The negative side of that is they collect and manifest everything.
One of the greatest secrets I learned from my teacher is when you,
Let's say,
Come home,
It's very cliché but it's very powerful if you understand the spiritual lesson.
When you come home,
You must first allow a 10,
20 or 30-minute block of time for your partner,
The female in this case,
To remove all the accumulated energy of the day.
This is actually something you should be sharing in the male show.
Just make sure you share that.
Yeah,
We are.
We got our share.
It's so important we probably get shared in every show.
Male show,
Abundance show,
Show about dreams,
Show about reincarnation.
We got to show this.
We got to open with this concept and I changed my mind.
I said,
Well,
It's so powerful when I learned about it.
I learned about it before I got married,
But knowing it going into getting married,
I came home and I prepared my mind.
I said,
It is very important for my wife to have 30 minutes,
Maybe not 30 minutes,
It's 10,
Let's say 10 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted cleansing of the vessel.
It doesn't matter what the tone is.
It doesn't matter if it sounds like it's complaining.
It sounds like it's negative.
It doesn't matter if they're attacking you.
It's all about allowing when someone has alcohol poisoning and they're vomiting it out,
You want to vomit.
What do you do?
Do you shove a banana in their mouth as they're vomiting and say,
I heard bananas are good for nausea and take this tylenol as they're throwing up in the toilet?
No,
They got to get it all,
Get all the poison out.
David and his digestion metaphors.
You got to get all the poison out.
Here's the secret.
I want all the men to really understand this.
The secret is let everything come out.
Don't be annoyed.
Don't take it personally.
Don't check out.
Then,
When it's all done and all out,
In fact,
You may not even need to say anything,
She'll say,
Wow.
I feel so much better.
I feel better.
You helped me.
Amazing.
What men like to do is within 30 seconds of hearing a problem,
Somehow fix it,
Shove a banana in their mouth as they're vomiting and that just doesn't work.
Using the vessel to clean out is such a powerful tool men have been using now and saving their marriage literally because you change her,
She's not nagging.
She's actually removing some of your garbage that's in there and she's trying to get it all out.
Matt,
I want to go back to using the metaphor that David has brought up before.
Actually I can say he's definitely,
That episode that he shared it originally for sure saved at least one marriage that I'm aware of.
You gave the example of the performer on stage where people are not looking,
They're chatting,
They're on their phone.
How would it feel if you were on stage as the,
I think it was an example of somebody asked a question,
She said,
Imagine your husband is on stage and you could barely care less,
You're not paying attention.
Matt,
I want to get back to you on this before I give the female antidote.
One of the most powerful lessons I learned myself as a woman in relationships is that if I really want my partner,
My husband in this case,
To be the man he can be,
To reach his potential,
I have to be the best audience.
David just shared one side of that coin.
I'm sharing now the female side.
The number one thing I see that goes wrong in relationships is that the woman stops listening to the music,
Not only not coming to the concerts- Complimenting the music.
That was amazing music.
Right.
Not only not attending the shows,
But literally stops listening to the music so that it even becomes an irritant.
Ladies,
If you're in a relationship or you are looking to start a relationship,
The best advice I could give you,
And I know that the people that I work with individually are like,
We've heard this already,
Can you move on?
Because it's almost every meeting we have about their relationship this comes up,
Is if your role as the vessel is to receive that light,
Which means clapping even when it's done poorly.
Men love the clapping.
Clapping when he was out off key and out of tune and not on the beat.
Making sure- Look at him,
He's melting.
Not melting,
I'm melting.
It's so true.
You know what?
Again,
It's annoying.
It is so true.
Ladies,
If you are feeling any disservice,
Any sort of ill feelings in your relationship,
Take a week and just be mind boggled by the amazingness of your partner.
Even if it feels fake and forced,
Tell them how no one takes out the trash the way you do.
No one gets out of bed as perfectly as you do.
I have not seen cleaner teeth on a dentist,
My love.
I want to say that yesterday,
Before I left the house to go see my family,
My wife said,
You know,
Can you just organize some of the clothes here?
I said,
Usually I do when I get back.
I said,
I feel I'll organize it.
Then she's holding my son and she's like,
Your dad did an unbelievable job the way he organized those clothes.
I mean,
You should have seen him.
My two year old listening to this,
He knows even what it means,
But she's saying it in front of me.
Then I'm thinking,
You're damn right.
I was like,
I felt elated by that compliment of how well I folded those clothes.
I know I have students that are listening to this and they're like,
I can't,
I just can't.
He's not good at it.
He's not amazing.
He's really complaining and upsetting me all the time.
And I just can't pretend.
Do it.
I promise you do it.
And Matt,
I know that as a performer,
Not only in your private life,
But in your,
As a public performer,
There is this feeling of needing to do your best,
To give your best,
To inspire.
And I wanted to hear from you,
You have these,
I've listened to your songs.
I've read your lyrics.
It's some of the most uplifting and inspiring stuff that's out there today.
Where do you get your inspiration from?
How do you keep that flow of not only beautiful music,
But also words coming?
Well,
Thank you for the kind words,
By the way.
Wow.
Well,
Matt,
Your music is so.
.
.
See what I did there?
The way you speak into that microphone,
It's like,
I've never seen somebody talking to a microphone like that.
I see what you did there.
That's great.
But,
Um,
Oh.
Look at that.
Look at that.
He knew,
He knew it was all part of a,
He knew it was all part of the lesson and he still is knocked off his feet.
Right.
Right.
Uh,
And I had a great answer to the window too,
With that.
Well,
What's your creative process?
That's really my question.
How do you continue to be a channel for that kind of inspiration?
Is it drugs?
Is it drugs?
I know what I was going to say.
No.
Well,
It was actually a lot of,
A lot of failed relationships that gave me inspiration to keep working and to keep pushing forward.
And,
Um,
You know,
The,
Whether you know it or not too,
The music business is actually one of the hardest businesses that there is out there.
And it's,
Uh,
It's hard to get noticed in a meaningful way in today's world.
And so I've never been one to,
You know,
Rest on my laurels.
I've wanted to just,
I always,
I put my head down and I do the work and I found that there's different ways to do that.
Um,
And for,
For years,
I kind of just went in,
You know,
Not knowing a lot about music because it was,
Wasn't something,
You know,
Some people are like born with it and some people work hard at it.
Uh,
I was always one of those that had to work really hard at it.
So I've just spent a lot of trial by fire for me.
And I've just kept at it over the years where a lot of people that,
You know,
The,
Uh,
Were doing what I was doing in the music world,
They weren't able to continue to sustain doing it,
Even though they were way more talented than I was.
But I just kept at it.
So there's something I think to say for,
Uh,
Perseverance in anything that you're doing.
And I think that's what a lot of spiritual work is about.
It's about perseverance and recognizing,
You know,
That where I'm at musically today is a whole different level than where I was at when I started.
And that that's due to,
I guess,
One from what my,
From what my teachers taught me,
It's like learning to enjoy the process.
And um,
I guess being a channel for,
You know,
In terms of where the inspiration comes from,
Being a channel for the messages that the creator sending me,
Like whatever happens throughout my day and being like,
Oh,
That would be a really good song idea.
And to try and make it as relatable to the audience as possible.
Cause at the end of the day,
I think that,
You know,
Music in particular is one of the most magical things that there is because usually you can ask a thousand people and maybe 999 out of them will love music regardless of what kind of music it is.
And I think you're trying to make an emotional connection with people through music.
And so I've always really focused on trying to make that emotional connection the strongest possible.
And I've just,
Yeah,
Like I said,
Trial by fire throughout the years and try to surround myself with some of the best people that I can and people that feel right for me and my,
And my journey and having,
You know,
Relationships in male and female energy,
Like we're talking about where there's give and take and there's,
Um,
There's a balancing too with,
With central column or,
You know,
As we call restriction in that you're putting yourself in the best position possible to try and make the best music you can.
I mean,
Some of the people that I work with are some of the best at what they do and hopefully I've absorbed and in certain circumstances,
You know,
Been the vessel so that I can take that out and channel it,
You know,
Um,
In my own way.
And it's,
I've also sort of learned too that,
You know,
You're not going to have to,
You're always,
You're always going to have different people that manifest in different ways.
So you can take a thousand musicians and every musician is going to end up manifesting the light and the way that they do.
And so I've become very comfortable,
I guess,
In myself and saying,
You know what,
This is,
This is how I want to manifest the light.
And you know,
I've done all different kinds of songs.
I just put out a rap album and,
You know,
I won't tell you that I'm the best rapper out there.
Um,
But I,
I've worked with some really good people that I've absorbed stuff and I try to put it into play.
And,
You know,
I'm writing songs with,
Um,
Like a member of the Goo Goo Dolls.
One of my,
My co-writers is Jim McGorman,
Who I think,
You know,
He's a fantastic writer and musicians played with all the best people out there.
Um,
You know,
Before the Goo Goo Dolls were playing with Gwen Stefani,
Poison,
Um,
You know,
You know,
Some of the biggest acts out there.
And so having the experience of working,
You know,
With someone like Jim,
Um,
I guess it gives me the confidence to say,
You know,
And we're writing songs together and I know that he's digging them and he's worked with some of the best people out there that it gives me more and more confidence to,
I guess,
Channel the light and say,
Okay,
Well,
Let's apply some of these things to the things that I want to speak about that I think are important that maybe not everybody else is talking about.
There's not a lot of people out there maybe until,
You know,
A year ago,
COVID that were putting out all that much inspirational messages,
You know,
In their music.
And so to me,
I kind of feel that my life's purpose is to put out an inspirational message due to challenges that I faced in my own life.
And while it hasn't gone,
Maybe according to plan,
Or maybe I'm not where I want to be exactly,
I'm putting faith and trust in that process that I'm doing the work and I'm heading in the direction that I want to,
And hopefully manifesting that energy,
Um,
In a way that is significant and meaningful in other people's lives.
And hopefully continues to head in that direction where,
You know,
I'm,
I'm added to everybody's playlists.
Well,
If you go on tour,
I know that they should ever want to be on that bus.
I want to tell you something,
By the way,
Matt,
You said something so profound.
Again,
I sat in this class,
David's class last week,
And one of the students is a musician.
She's a classical musician.
And I asked the students to share with me,
What is the most profound thing you got in this course?
And she said that as a,
As a musician,
She used to worry that she would run out of music.
Her fear was that she,
At some point,
The well would run dry.
And David had shared at some point that if you're trying to channel the light,
If your goal is to be a channel and not a vessel,
Right?
Not that you're,
You can hold as much as you can hold,
And then that's it.
The moment she realized that all she's doing is taking light and manifesting it in that,
And again,
Whatever melody comes to her,
Whatever,
Whatever her creative process is,
She's just the vessel for that.
And I think that that's an important distinction to make is that when you're in the act of channeling,
When you're receiving,
Whether it's whatever form of talent,
Creativity,
Gifts you have,
And then you're tasked with bringing it to a form where it can be enjoyed by people around you,
If not the world,
That's really the act of manifestation and creation that David,
That feminine aspect that David alluded to in the beginning of the show.
We're going to wrap this up.
And before we do,
I know you're going to wrap it up,
Elisheva,
But is the last thing I want to get from you,
Matt,
Is what is a message you would like to give subliminally to your girlfriend,
Please?
I think she's doing a great job.
So that's it.
So you don't need her to do it.
What's the best way to connect with Matt in the future?
What's the best way to support and trust Matt in the future?
If she knew this,
She only knew this.
I'm talking for 10 years,
20 years.
So I want to put you on the spot.
Right.
I mean,
Like I said,
Honestly,
I think she's doing a good job and that's why the relationship's going well.
I think I've started a lot of relationships and haven't finished any.
And so I think that.
.
.
No,
You finished all of them.
Yeah,
That's the problem.
You finished all of them.
That's the problem.
Right,
Right.
Maybe.
That's the problem.
I phrased that wrong.
But in general,
I would like to have that lasting,
Meaningful relationship in my life.
And I think that that takes hard work.
And I think to her,
To anybody,
I think that it's really,
You need to be comfortable and confident in the person you are and your connection with the light.
And when you're doing that and you're worrying about other people's happiness,
Then that automatically comes back into your life.
So I think one of the biggest things that Karen used to say,
Messages that she's put forth,
Like,
Start getting busy with other people and the light will start getting busy with you,
A variation of that.
Absolutely.
Well,
If we ever see you go to law school,
We know that it's not that something happened and the relationship's not going on the right track.
So Shabbat,
You want to wrap this up?
We wanted to end this episode with a clip from a song that Matt picked out actually for this purpose.
But before we.
.
.
We want to hear from you about it and we want to close out the show.
So again,
This was supposed to be the female feminine side of relationships episode.
Next week,
We'll be talking about the masculine side.
And in the fourth episode,
We will be talking with a matrimonial lawyer about toxic relationships.
So that's another episode to look forward to.
But before we get there,
Matt,
I've listened to this song probably 20 times,
Even before you sent me the clip.
I love it.
Tell us a little bit about it and then we'll close out the show.
Thank you to all of our listeners for joining us and here's Matt.
Thank you.
This is To Give,
Ellie Sheva?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I love this song.
This is probably,
I think,
One of the more meaningful songs that I've ever written.
I've written a lot of different kinds of songs.
But I love the message in this one at its simplest form.
Yeah.
It's probably talking about the male energy and the to give.
We'll have to write one female energy to receive.
But yeah,
I just love the message in this song.
It's very simple,
But it's also hard to write songs like this where you're putting deep,
Meaningful,
Profound things into an everyday situation.
And so I like to let the music do the talking,
I guess.
I'm a typical guy in that sense in that I'm not always the best at describing it.
That's why I like to write the song so I don't have to describe it.
But to me,
Yeah,
One of my favorite songs.
I wrote this song with Matisyahu.
He wrote the rap in this,
Which made it even more meaningful.
And yeah,
I think it's one of the most meaningful songs to date that I've written.
So I hope you dig it.
We will.
Thank you again for joining us,
Matt.
And here,
My silent bravery and Matisyahu to give.
Thank you.
