Nisargadatta's I Am That Session 24 - Chapter 12 Part 1

Listen to Ektaji talk about Nisargadatta Maharaj's book I Am That. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a teacher who did not propound any ideology or religion, but gently unwrapped the mystery of the self. I Am That preserves his dialogs with the followers who came from around the world seeking guidance in destroying false identities.

Trigger Warning: This practice may include references to death, dying, and the departed.

Transcript

Chapter 12 The Person Is Not Reality So before we even begin the chapter, We have to understand the meaning of the title. The title itself has a lot of meaning which was already explained in the previous chapters. So what does he mean by the person is not reality? What is the person? What are you really? You are this dream character. So the body mind is the person. Or the personality. In Marathi the word used is vyakti matva. Vyakti matva svarupa nave. That is the name of the Marathi chapter. So it's actually personality. And what is personality? This body mind. This that my parents have labeled as ekta. This that I feel is a wife, A daughter, A friend, Family member of this, Colleague of that, Belonging to this organization, That organization. Whatever picture you have built about yourself, The entire picture built by me about myself is vyakti matva. Or the personality. The person as I see. So all these roles, Titles, Names that I have given to this body mind here belong to this dream world only. The dream character has built a personality with roles and titles that belong to this dream world. This dream character is limited to this dream world. Is this dream character and this dream world the reality? Now what is the reality? The reality is that this entire dream world including this body mind of the dream character and the other body minds of other dream characters, All of it is the dreamer's mind. That is reality. Very clear? So the person is not the reality. That is the title of this chapter. So now we have all been to a movie theater. While watching a movie, Many times you have noticed that you forget that you are the audience and you get completely completely engrossed in the story, Whatever it is, Thrilling and suspense and you forget that you are this person sitting here in the audience in the chair and you start feeling that you are on the screen. You become one with the tragedy of the hero and you become one with the drama of the hero. For some time you completely lose yourself. Now if suddenly you stand up and you start advising the hero heroine, Don't do this, Listen to me, Stop doing this, What are you doing? Are you crazy? What will happen? You will be shooed out of the theater. Yes, Because you have become insane. You have started advising the hero heroine, Come on, Change, Change, You cannot do this. Exactly the same thing has happened here. You have forgotten that you are the witness of the story. You have forgotten that you cannot change the story. You have forgotten that this story has already been written, Scripted, The shooting has been completed, The actor actresses have already received their remuneration. Now what you're seeing is simply the final film. Exactly like that is your world. Your personal world is a final film and when you wake up from the deep sleep state to the waking state, You have suddenly been positioned in that seat in the theater where you can now only perceive the story. That's it. You cannot change the story and you have forgotten this truth. You have forgotten that this projection of my family, My friends, My money, My career, My job, All of it is the final film. I cannot change anything here. Now what happened in this forgetfulness is that I didn't like that I could not change, So I pretend. Every time a thought comes up, I pretend that that is my thought. Every time a decision is made, I pretend that is my decision. Every time this body-mind does an action, I pretend that this is my action. I have forgotten that I have zero free will to act, Do, Think, Or even experience. I have forgotten that I can only know the story as it reveals itself frame after frame. Frame after frame. I have completely forgotten this. Advaita Vedanta brings us to this truth that recognize that you are just that field of awareness and it's an infinite field. It's not a person. So, There is no limited I inside. Some Advaitins make this mistake. They say, Okay, I'm not this body. I'm not this thought. But there is some kind of a limited I. They start imagining that as I. No, Really look, There is no I inside. It is an infinite field of awareness. You have only forgotten that you are you have only forgotten that you are that awareness and you have assumed to be somebody, Someone and it's a pretense. So, Now that I realize that I have forgotten that I have started perceiving this image of this body as I. I have started perceiving the sensations of the body as I. I have started believing in the person or the personality. This is my strongest conditioning. And because this is my strongest conditioning, I get lost in the false expectation of getting pleasure or being able to avoid pain. I cannot grasp any pleasure or avoid pain because I cannot act. I cannot do and I have forgotten this. So, Is this very clear? Because I have forgotten, I have an attachment to this body-mind. This is the person. The thoughts, The feelings, The sensations and the perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch. This complete domain range is what I have labeled as I, The person. But in reality, When I actually have my own direct experience as proof and I discard all of pratyaksha, All of paroksha, I can very clearly see that I don't have proof of existence of any actual physical world. I don't have proof of existence of a body or a mind. The only proof I have is the projection of a thought. And I don't even know when I projected it. I only perceive the projected thought. And that thought is imagined as an image of a body and sensations. Oh, My body. This is the person and this person is related to this person. This person's house is this. This person's money is this. Then this becomes my physical world. So, The most important thing is to wake up to the reality that I have to constantly discard the pratyaksha, Which is that which is obvious through the five senses, And the paroksha, Which is simply inferences and assumptions. After discarding these two, What is left is my direct experience. That is called a paroksha. So far is clear? So, Once I recognize that it is nothing but the witness forgetting itself, Assuming itself to be the body-mind, Which is the paroksha part and believing so strongly that it is a male body or a female body. That is the creation of the person. And this forgetfulness is called the veiling power of maya. I know very clearly that this has been projected by me. I do not know how it has been projected. I only perceive it and then I know that, Oh, This is my projection. So, That which projected it is called the projecting power of maya. So, How is a person born? The idea of a person is born by these two powers of maya. The veiling power of maya, Which is responsible for the forgetfulness and the projecting power of maya that projects the thought and the thought is imagined as a physical body-mind or the physical world. Thus, The person is born out of ignorance and the only way out of this ignorance is simply the knowledge of who I truly am. So, That is where Maharaj is going to take us. Who am I truly? What is my reality? Okay. So, Let us now begin the chapter. Questioner, Kindly tell us how you realized? Maharaj says, I met my guru when I was 34 and realized by 37. Questioner asks, What happened? What was the change? Maharaj says, Pleasure and pain lost their sway over me. I was free from desire and fear. So, I will pause there. If you remember a few chapters ago, Maharaj said that desire is simply the memory of pleasure and fear is simply the memory of pain. When he dropped the thought, Thought, Desire, Fear, Aversions, Cravings are only thoughts. The moment he dropped that identification with the thought, The moment he dropped the identification that I am the mind, Both desire and fear dropped, Means both pleasure and pain dropped. It's like you got consumed in the movie, Whatever the hero and heroine were doing, You got caught up in the drama and suddenly you got pulled out of the drama. Oh, Okay, Why am I crying? Why am I getting so involved? The moment you just took that step back, Exactly that moment is what Maharaj is talking about. Pleasure and pain lost their sway over me. I was free from desire and fear. I found myself full, Needing nothing. I saw that in the ocean of pure awareness, Which is Paramakash, On the surface of the universal consciousness, Which is Chiddhakash, The numberless waves of the phenomenal worlds, Which is Bhutakash, Arise and subside beginninglessly and endlessly. Where am I getting the words from? From the Marathi book. So, In the Marathi book it is, I saw that in the ocean of Paramakash, On the surface of the Chiddhakash, Numberless waves of Bhutakash arise and subside. So, Maharaj has gone beyond the the limitation, That which limits me to identify with this body-mind to the level of I am Paramakash, To the level of I am just the primordial awareness. So, When he sees himself as the primordial awareness, He recognizes that everything is a part of this primordial awareness. All the individual sense of I am, The individual sense of I am, Of Avanti, Of Bhavani, Of Satyam, Of Sarang, Everybody's sense of I am together is the Chiddhakash. And within that, Sarang creates his own personal world, His own body-mind and world. Avanti creates her own body-mind world. Itta creates her own body-mind world. This is Bhutakash. Is this clear? So, In that infinite field of Paramakash, Which is the primordial awareness, There is individual sense of I am's, Which together form the field of Chiddhakash. Within that Chiddhakash, Everybody's projected body-mind and personal worlds are the Bhutakash. This is Bhutakash. I project my own body-mind and I project my own world. Collectively, Everybody's body-mind and projected personal worlds together are Bhutakash or also called Mahadakash, The two names in Sanskrit. So, I'll read that again. I saw that in the ocean of pure awareness, On the surface of the universal consciousness, Which is Chiddhakash, The numberless waves of the phenomenal worlds, Which is Bhutakash, Arise and subside beginninglessly and endlessly. As consciousness, They are all me. Sarang is not different from me. Avanti is not different from me. Satyan is not different from me. Hemant is not different from me. They are all me. As events, They are all mine. So, Whatever is happening there, Whatever perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste and touch, They are all mine. Why? Because I am that primordial awareness, That infinite vast field of nothingness. Yet, It is full of this life. It is full of consciousness. I am that. There is a mysterious power that looks after them. That power is awareness, Means primordial awareness. Self, Life, God, Whatever name you give it, It is the foundation, The ultimate support of all that is. Just like gold is the basis for all gold jewellery. So, Just like this bangle, The earring, The necklace is nothing but gold. If you take all these three to a jeweller, He just sees gold. He doesn't care whether it's a bangle or a necklace. He doesn't care whether you got it for your anniversary or you got it for your birthday. He doesn't care whether there is an emotion attached. For him, He says all is gold. I'll give you so much money for the gold. He does not care about it being an individual name and form. You see that? Just like that, Maharaj is like that ultimate jeweller who has recognised that everything is awareness. There is nothing outside of awareness. Within awareness, A thought got projected that said, I, And within that field of I, The remaining thought tail got attached like I am this body or I am this woman, I am this man, I am the parent, I am the child, I am a businessman, Or this is my money, This is my mansion. So, Everything got projected. The name and form got projected where? In what? In that primordial awareness. So, Recognising again and again that I know this very clearly. I recognise that emptiness, That nothingness, That nobody-ness that I am. I get a glimpse of it, But again I forget it and I latch onto this body-mind, Thinking this is who I am. So, Maharaj is taking us from this body-mind and world to that Paramakash that I am. He says within this Paramakash, A thought arises. Within this Paramakash, A sensation arises. Within this Paramakash, There are perceptions of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch arising. So, Recognise the field in which all this is arising. That is what I am. I am not these thoughts, Feelings, Sensations, Perceptions, All together that are called the person. I am this infinite field and I recognise that. So, He is talking about his enlightenment. When he got enlightened, He recognised that he is this vast infinite field. The wrong understanding of being the person that fell off, It broke off. So, The identification with thought snapped. And because that identification with thought snapped, It snapped with desire, It snapped with fear. Thus, Fear and desire both left him. Thus, Pleasure and pain both lost their sway. I hope it's clear so far. This primordial awareness can be called self or life or God, Whatever name you give it. It's like the gold which is the basis for all gold jewellery. And it is so intimately ours. He's talking about the nothingness that is not perceivable, That cannot be known. You can just be it. That is so intimately belonging to every name and form. It is so intimately ours. Abstract the name and shape from the jewellery and the gold becomes obvious. Be free of name and form and of the desires and fears they create. Then what remains? So, If you drop the name and form, Which is perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch, Touch, And you drop the thoughts, Which are desires, Fears, All the extra emotions. You drop all this. All this disappears. Then what is left? The questioner says nothingness. In the Marathi, It is spelled as shunyata, Nothingness. Bharat says, Yes, The void remains, But the void is full to the brim. It is the eternal potential as consciousness is the eternal actual. Usually people think void is nothing. It means there's nothing there. So, He's saying it is a void. That's correct. But it is not a dead void. It has consciousness, The sense of being alive that you feel right now. That is being conscious. That does not belong to the body. That does not belong to the thoughts even. So, It does not belong to the mind. Consciousness is what is the content of the void or its nature, The aliveness. So, I'll read that again. The void is full to the brim. It is the eternal potential as consciousness is the eternal actual. So, The questioner says by potential you mean the future. So, Marath says past, Present and future. They are all there and infinitely more. So, We did this self-exploration where we did, We understood that the now is what is now because of me. I impart reality to the now. And what is this me? What is this I that is imparting reality to the now? The consciousness, The aliveness. And that is all of it. The past, The future and the present and more. Now is vaster than just the present. Present is nothing but this moment and it's gone. This moment and it's gone. Now is like akin to the space of this room. In this room, People can come and go. People can come and go. Does anything happen to the space? It is just there. So, Like that only the present moment comes and it goes. The present moment comes and it goes. Now is bigger than just the present moment. So, I'll read that now. Past, Present and future. They are all there and infinitely more. This is the meaning of the word eternal potential. And eternal actual is very clear. Consciousness is eternal. It is the actual. It is the reality. Questioner, But since the void is void, It is of little use to us. Maharaj says, How can you say so? Without breach in continuity, Can there be rebirth? Can there be renewal without death? And pause there and read it from the Marathi book. So, The questioner had asked, But since the void is void, It is of little use to us. And Maharaj says in Marathi, Similar meaning. It's just more clearer in Marathi. He says, How can you say that the void is useless? It's not true. So, What he wants to convey is that, How do you know a thought is a thought? Because it arises, Means it is born and it dies. How do you know sensation is a sensation? Because it is born and it dies. How do you know perception is a perception? Because it is born and it dies. The gap between two thoughts, The gap between two sensations, The gap between two perceptions is what? Is nothing but the void. That void is what gives the identity to that thought. That void is what gives identity to that sensation. The void is what gives identity to a perception. It is this void that actually gives you the value of thought, Feeling, Sensation, Perception. Otherwise, It would be one continuous thought. One continuous thought without a beginning or an end. You would not have even identified it as a thought. You identify it as a thought because it has a beginning and an end. It arises and it falls away. That is the real problem why we do not recognize Brahman or the primordial awareness. Because it is one continuous thing which does not have any breach. Other than that void, Everything else has a breach in its continuity. That is why I recognize thought, I recognize sensation, I recognize perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch. But I fail to recognize the void in which everything arises and falls. Because this void or this Brahman, This primordial awareness or consciousness is continuous. Brahman is beginningless and endless. But your thoughts, Feelings, Perceptions, Sensations all have a beginning and end. So, If you understood that, I will read this again. Without breach in continuity, How can there be rebirth? Can there be renewal without death? So, You would not know something unless it went away. So, It's not that the void or the gap is useless. In fact, The gap gives the value to thought. That gap gives the value to sensation. Gap gives the value to perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch. So, Basically the gap or the So, Basically the gap or the void gives value to your entire life. Because your life is nothing else but perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch, Thought, Sensation and feeling. There is really nothing else in life other than this. So, That which gives importance or value to every little thing in your life is the void. Both is required. Thoughts, Feelings, Sensations, Perceptions and the void. So, Birth and death both are required to appreciate it in its entirety. Being and non-being, Both are required to appreciate it in its entirety. The next sentence has not been translated well. Means there's a grammatical error there. So, Please strike even and without. The sentence is actually, The darkness of deep sleep is refreshing and rejuvenating. Similar to death. And if it would not have been so, We would have been bogged down forever in eternal old age. In English, It's translated as senility but that is more like a weakness of the mental functions, Not necessarily that is what Maharaja is saying. You would forever be old. And you would have childhood, You would have teenage, You would have youth, You would come to middle age and then come to old age and if there was no death that was going to happen to you, You would be stuck forever in old age without death. So, Death is equally important so that there is renewal. Clear? He's still not talking about birth and reincarnation. We will see that in another chapter. So, The questioner asks, Is there no such thing as immortality? Maharaj says, When life and death are seen as essential to each other as two aspects of one being, That is immortality. This is very very important. When you see that both life and death together give me the complete picture. See it in every moment to moment. Thought is born, It stays and it dies. Next thought is born, It stays and it dies. Between these two thoughts, The gap is very important because that gap gave birth to the next thought. So, The birth and the death, Both are equally essential. Both together when I see, I understand oh this is immortality because I am not this thought, I am not this sensation, I'm not this feeling, I'm not this perception but I am the primordial awareness in which these arise and fall away. I am immortal. And what is the meaning of I am immortal? In me only thoughts arise and they die. They die in what? In me the void. Where are they born? In me the void. Yes, So the birth and death seen together, That is immortality. Clear? We've always had a wrong understanding of immortality that only the perception of sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch of this physical body should be continuous, Never-ending. That would be mortality. Continuity is not immortality. That's what he will tell us. When life and death are seen as essential to each other, As two aspects of one being, That is immortality. To see the end in the beginning and the beginning in the end is the intimation of eternity. Definitely, Immortality is not immortality. It is not continuity. Only the process of change continues. Nothing lasts. I hope this is clear.

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