In my work with clients who wish to pursue the steps to forgive,
We need a place from which to begin.
As you take the steps towards forgiving yourself,
It's helpful to examine the situations and life events in which you spoke and acted in a way that was not indicative of your true kind and loving nature.
If you are on a path of self-forgiveness,
This is how you can begin.
The space for complete self-forgiveness begins with the situations,
Events,
And people in which you feel remorse,
And in many cases where you have already made amends and where you no longer act and react in a way that would be hurtful and wrongful.
As you create a list of those moments of your past that you have in the present corrected and are now ready to forgive,
First acknowledge the wrongdoing,
The hurtful words,
And actions.
Use the power of this present moment to elicit a reminder of the new course and how you have chosen to be.
Often we experience the same and similar situations as patterns.
How we choose to respond in the future must be well thought out.
For example,
If you lose patience easily,
That behavior will continue to show up because it lives within you.
It is a behavior to which you first need to change.
When you have in place a decision for how you will be different,
For how you will and currently practice patience,
Even if it is not 100% effective at all times,
Your commitment to be patient for yourself now has a far-reaching effect as it is a behavior that you will have many opportunities to practice.
Forgiveness needs to live within you.
Forgiveness occurs out of a positive change.
If you continue in the behaviors that cause your suffering and the suffering of others,
And if you are not dedicated to changing your actions,
You are also not going to be able to forgive.
Forgiveness is activated out of a sincere remorse and the thoughtful new behaviors that you have put in place.
Even when we make mistakes and fall back into our well-ingrained patterns,
Such as losing your patience easily,
Your commitment and your new practice,
Well-identified,
Will help you to make the corrections easily and quickly,
Therefore practicing the new behavior of patience in the very next moment and out of the awareness that you were not patient.
Beginning a path of forgiveness helps you take new positive actions.
It reminds you that you can change the present by how you decide to be now.
And into the future.
If you're doing this on your own,
Write the situation,
The memory,
The experience you forgive yourself for.
Together and because of your commitment to be different,
Write the new behavior that will replace the unwanted old pattern of being.
As you remain attentive to all of the moments in which you can practice this new way of being,
It will also help reinforce the true forgiveness you feel.
For forgiveness is possible out of a true desire and effort to be different,
Better,
Kind,
Honest,
Respectful,
Patient,
Whatever your new practice shall be.
And if you would like my help as you work towards and adopt the new behaviors you seek,
Please reach out to me.
Let me help.
Thank you so much.
This is Dorothy Sonori Juno.
Namaste.
