Meditation To Befriend Your 'Should' Part (IFS Based)

This guided meditation aims to help you connect with and understand the part of yourself driven by 'shoulds'. Through a series of mindful instructions, you are encouraged to explore and soften your relationship with this part, acknowledge its positive intentions, and foster a sense of self-compassion. The meditation invites you to reflect on the sensations and emotions associated with these thoughts, offering a path to understanding and integrating this 'should' part into your overall well-being.

Transcript

Welcome. This is a meditation to help you connect with and befriend your should part. The part of you that says you should be doing more. You should be like someone else. You should believe this or you should feel that. And as we begin remember this is just one part of you. It is not all of who you are. So let's begin now by bringing your attention to your breathing. No need to change it. No effort. Simply following the breath as it flows in and out. Allowing your breath to guide you here to this moment. Now bring your attention to your body. Where do you feel the breath most clearly? In the rise and fall of your belly? The expansion of your chest? Or the warm and cool air moving in and out of your nose? Just notice and now gently ask your busy parts, The list-makers, The planners, The doers, If they would be willing to give you some space. Let them know they can take a rest. They'll be welcome back soon. But for now you're here simply to explore. Thank them for their hard work. Thank them for this space. Now bring to mind a moment when you felt full of shoulds. Perhaps I should meditate more. I should be a better parent. I should have woken up earlier. Let one of those moments gently come forward as if it's happening right now. And as you focus on that moment, Notice your body. What do you feel in your stomach, In your chest, In your mind? Let's slow right down and experience how this should part shows up for you. Is there an image, A colour, A texture or a shape? Allow whatever comes to come. Keep focusing gently. You might hear it growing louder. You might feel it around your heart. Now gently ask, How do I feel toward this part of me? Do you notice other parts that dislike it, That wish it would go away or parts that feel you need it? Gently ask all those parts to give you a little space. Let them know you just want to get to know this should part with an open heart. Keep asking for this space gently until your heart feels a little more open. You might notice your stomach soften, Your breath slow and your mind quiet. When you feel that sense of soft curiosity, That open heart, Send it to the should part. Let it feel that you are here. Let it feel your loving presence. Let it know that it's not alone. If there is an image, Maybe send some kindness to that image. If there is a sensation, Perhaps sending some compassion to that place in your body. Now gently ask this part, What are your positive intentions for me? And simply wait for an answer. Your thinking parts can also rest now. Notice how you feel hearing about its positive intention. If there is compassion or appreciation, Send that to this should part. When you're ready, Ask the part, What is it afraid would happen if it didn't do this job for you? And again, Just wait for the answer. If it feels true and right, Let this should part know that you are on the same team, That you want the same things. When you're ready, Ask the part, How long have you been doing this for me? Wait for the answer. Perhaps this part believes that you are still very young. Perhaps it believes it must still jump into the driver's seat to keep you safe. Let it know gently that you appreciate how hard it's been working for you and that you don't want it to go away. But now you are much older, You can manage your life really well. Update this part about your current reality with kindness. Let it feel your openness, Your appreciation, Your curiosity and compassion. Now let this part know that you will be back and you want to keep getting to know this should part to understand it better. And when you feel ready, Check back with all the other parts that gave you some space and let them see what happened here. Notice, Has their perspective shifted toward the should part? Again, Just wait for an answer. Now I invite you to take a few more deeper breaths and gently return to the natural rhythm of your body. Feeling the air moving in and out of your nose, Your chest and your belly. And when you're ready, Gently let your eyes open and softly return to the space around you. Carry this sense of presence with you into whatever comes next.