Let Go Of People-pleasing & Reclaim Your Energy

In this calming guided meditation, we address the weight of living under other people’s expectations. So many of us spend our whole lives trying to please others and getting caught up in their emotional narratives that the obligations surrounding us drain our energy and silence our own needs.

Through a powerful visualization, you will enter a safe space where a symbolic maypole represents the invisible cords that tie you to the expectations, pressures and judgement of others. With care, we catalogue what needs to be cut off and we let go.
As the ribbons fall away you reclaim your space, your life story, and your freedom.

This meditation helps you get closer to your authentic self as you “literally” let go of people-pleasing. It is a quick way to set healthier energetic boundaries in moments when it all seems too much.

Transcript

Let's start off by taking a deep breath in and exhale it slowly. Soften your shoulders and your face as you prepare for a moment of practice that is yours alone. Aristotle said that the only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, Say nothing and be nothing. When hearing that it hit me hard because I think that is what happens to many of us under the weight of other people's expectations. We subconsciously minimize our own needs, Our feelings and our choices and the result is a state of paralysis. When we take time for self-care and rest we feel guilty, Constantly scanning our relationships for evidence that we are disappointing others, That we are not good enough. Replaying conversations in our minds like some distorted quality assessment, We paint on our faces before meeting others in case our true feelings and true selves somehow offend them. Because there is an underlying belief that our value is tied to our performance. That people only care about us because of how we make them feel. It is hard friend, Especially for those of us with soft hearts. I know you are pulled in so many directions by other people's hold on you. I know you are letting them steal your energy because you are scared to be alone, But you also feel the loneliness in your current situation where you are not allowed to just be, Not allowed even one misstep, Not allowed peace. You and me both know that a lot of this pressure is in our own minds though, Our beliefs and stories about how others perceive us. A lot of it is not real. And so even if we cannot change people's real expectations of us, We can change the strain it puts on us. There is a visualization that I would like to share with you. I have used it countless times, Especially when the strain becomes so intense I feel like I'm losing myself. Breathe with me. Deep inhale, Following the air from your nose deep into your belly and slow, Easy exhale. Again, Deep inhale and slow, Easy exhale. You find yourself standing upon a green hilltop in the sun. Feel the soft grass beneath your bare feet, The warmth of sunshine on the top of your head. It is a calm, Beautiful summer day and this clearing, This field belongs to you. You look down at your body and you notice that there is a heavy belt around your waist. Tied to the belt is a variety of broad, Silk ribbons in red, Blue, Yellow and green. The ribbons are pulled taut in different directions, Like you are a maypole. And as you lift your eyes you notice that the end of each ribbon is being held tightly by a person. There are several circled around you. You scan the faces of people who fill important roles in your life and people who have been keeping your mind busy lately, Causing you stress. Take note of the faces but do not pause to interact with them. It is not easy to remain standing still as the tension on the ribbons challenge your balance. So you root your feet into the ground, Square your shoulders and take hold of the first ribbon on your left. And you see the face of the person who is holding the other end. The ribbon represents their expectations and the drain it has on your energy. In your other hand you notice a pair of heavy-duty scissors. Look at the person one last time, Then take the scissors and cut off the ribbon they are holding. As soon as the tension loosens you already feel lighter and you see the person floating off into the distance, Carried by the wind. You take up the next ribbon. Who is holding the other end so tightly? Without hesitating, Slice through the ribbon and watch them float away, Smiling into the horizon. You take the third ribbon. This one is thicker than the ones before. You look at the face at the other end of it, A stern face. Without engaging with them, You cut the ribbon. This one needs two cuts before it slackens and the person floats away and disappears. You feel the difference in the tension on the belt around your waist. And you root your feet deeper into the ground before taking up another ribbon. I will let you continue like this on your own for a few moments as we pause, Scan around you to see who is holding onto any other ribbons, And set them free one by one. Continue until you feel no more tension on the belt. And as the last ribbon is cut, Your body feels lighter. You soften your muscles and stand in the center of the field in a space of serenity and freedom. If you like, You can untie the entire belt now. It falls to the ground and you step away from it feeling strong and full of energy. Light as air. Your thoughts are as clear as the blue sky overhead, And you turn your face up towards the sun in gratitude for this moment. Breathe again deeply here. Inhale the fresh summer air. And exhale, Softening and relaxing. As this recording ends, You are welcome to stay in this field of peace for a few minutes longer. You are free to do whatever you feel. This is your story and your life. Thank you for joining this practice with me. May the rest of your day be filled with peace. Namaste.