07: Miracles As Expressions Of Love With Emily Bennington

Emily Bennington on the topic of healing anxiety and depression. We each share our experiences living with fear and, finding our way home through the practice of A Course in Miracles. You’ll hear Emily speak candidly about using Course tools to cure an eating disorder and, for the first time, Emily is also speaking publicly about how the Course has helped her “consciously uncouple” from her husband of 15 years.

Transcript

This is From Anxiety to Love Radio,

The show about undoing anxiety through A Course in Miracles and other pathways of love.

Gain insights and tools to deepen your awareness of the peace that is already in you.

I'm your host Corinne Zupko.

Hello my friend.

In this episode,

We are diving into the definition of a miracle with Emily Bennington.

You might think you already know what this means according to A Course in Miracles,

But I encourage you to listen with an open mind for some rich and juicy insights because this is all key in overcoming anxiety.

What I've been learning recently through Emily's work with Robert Perry has really been profound.

Two quick announcements,

You are welcome to join the From Anxiety to Love Facebook group to talk about the episode,

Hang out with me,

Extend love.

That is at fromanxietytolove.

Com forward slash group.

In addition,

In honor of my forthcoming book From Anxiety to Love,

Which is getting published in February 2018,

I've been giving away my favorite spiritual books every month until my book gets published.

I just felt like what can I do to just keep giving and that was the answer that came.

So I've been giving away some amazing books and will keep doing so until my book comes out.

I actually gave away a few copies of Emily's book and you can catch the webinar we did together on my website.

The webinar we did is called The Career Classroom Work as a Path to Awakening.

So I hope you'll catch that.

And if you want details on the next book giveaway,

Go to fromanxietytolove.

Com forward slash giveaway.

Let's listen into my conversation with Emily.

Hey everyone,

I am here with Emily Bennington.

Emily is the author of multiple books.

Her most recent book is Miracles at Work,

Turning Inner Guidance into Outer Influence.

She's also the facilitator of the kick butt Facebook group called Course Companions.

She is leading,

Co-leading this group along with Robert Perry,

Who is the editor of the Circle of Atonement edition of A Course in Miracles called the CE.

They're leading the group through the text in a year with study guides,

With videos.

It's just phenomenal.

You have to join.

She's also a dear friend of mine.

Welcome Emily.

Thank you Corinne.

I'm so excited that you're here because your work with Robert Perry is really the inspiration behind having this episode because some of the things that Robert has been sharing with you in your videos has sort of turned what I thought I knew about A Course in Miracles on its head in the best possible way.

And the first area that I wanted to explore with you surrounds the definition of a miracle.

Like many of us in the Course community,

Somebody asks me,

Hey,

What's a miracle?

And I say,

It's a shift in perception from fear to love.

And Robert had something different to say about that.

And I'm wondering if you can share with us what the definition of a miracle is.

Yeah.

So a miracle is one of those things,

As you just mentioned,

It sort of becomes embedded in us as Course students to just regurgitate what we think the answer is because,

Again,

It's just something that we pick up from very early in our practice.

What is a miracle?

A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.

And that is true,

But it's not the full definition if you go to the text.

So in the text,

There is a primary definition of miracles and a secondary.

And the shift in perception from fear to love is the secondary definition.

But the primary definition is an expression of love.

So a miracle is an expression of love.

Now,

I guess maybe one way you can think of this is internal versus external.

So we have an internal shift in perception that leads to the expression of love.

But what's also interesting if you go to the text is that it actually says that one is not dependent upon the other.

So one of the things that I would always push back on Robert with is I would say something like,

Well,

You know,

You have to have that shift in perception in order to express the love in your mind.

So it's sort of step one,

Step two.

But that's not the case either.

You just have to be in a miracle-ready state.

And when you're in that miracle-ready state,

Then you naturally become a conduit for the expression of love.

So I just think that that primary definition of miracles as expression of love is not something that's so deeply embedded in the Course community,

But I'm hoping that with the CE it will be.

Wow,

It's so funny because I can think back and I've been working with the Course for a while,

So I've read it or thought I read it many times.

And because I had so internalized that the only,

You know,

The definition of a miracle is that shift in perception,

When I would read in like those first 50 miracle principles,

Miracles are expressions of love,

Because it says that it was almost like that definition kind of just didn't stick.

It was like,

Oh yeah,

That's nice,

But I'm going to go back to working on shifting my perception.

So it was almost like I just,

I saw what was on the page,

But just didn't internalize it.

And I was so,

It was so interesting for me to hear Robert point out how many times the Course says miracles are expressions of love and how it says it in a few different ways and how that outnumbers the shift in perception references.

I know,

And if he were here,

He can actually give you the number,

Which is one of the more sort of frustrating things about Robert is he actually has these numbers in his head and he can actually tell you which section things are in.

But in any event,

Yeah,

That's been one of the real gifts for me this year in reading the CE and having the CE as my study guide,

My book this year,

Is because I originally wanted to take the CE version of the Course,

Compare it to the Foundation for Inner Peace version and see where the differences are and just,

I just sort of felt that temptation at the beginning.

And one of the things that Robert had said to me,

Which I think is really wise,

Is you can't ride two horses at the same time.

So really,

He encouraged me to approach,

Pick one for starters,

And approach it with fresh eyes.

And by that,

He meant just take in what the text itself is trying to tell you.

So every day as you're reading the book,

Really get what the words are trying to say to you and not,

To your point earlier,

Overlay it with what you think you already know.

And so that has been a really powerful thing for me this year.

Because the CE is new,

I actually am reading it for the first time,

But there's so much that's familiar in it because the language is similar to the FIP.

It just has more language,

It has 45,

000 more words in the CE version than the FIP.

But I have been really trying to take that advice to heart and reading it every day with fresh eyes and really trying to absorb what the text is trying to tell me.

And that has been just a wonderful practice each morning.

It's so wonderful and it's so refreshing and surprising because a few times now,

Based on some of the things that Robert has said,

I've gone to the text and it's in all the books,

Whatever edition it is that you have,

I've had this experience of seeing it through fresh eyes like,

Wow,

Robert was actually right.

And just,

I don't want to go too far in this direction,

But I do just want to mention this,

That one of the things that Robert has shared is that the Sons of God and sons being a gender neutral use of the term,

Which is all of us,

Is a pre-separation thing that God created many sons.

It's not just that we fragmented after the separation into all of these sons.

And with him highlighting that and me going back to a couple of quotes that referenced that that he had mentioned,

It was like,

Wow,

I have been seeing through a veil.

And I had this experience happen with this definition of miracles and a few other things where it's amazing to just see how our perception is faulty when we're coming at it with our preconceived notions.

Yeah.

And that's what we were talking about earlier about the importance of having a good learning community and a good teacher that really understands what the book is saying.

Because if you get confused about it,

Then it results in what the Course calls learning failure.

And if you don't understand what it's saying,

Then it can affect your relationship with the divine.

And I don't mean that in any sort of nefarious way.

I just mean that it can't be as full as it's intended to be.

And I'll just share an example,

Also what we were talking about earlier,

Which is the idea that God is a symbol.

And for a few years,

I had accepted this as truth based on the path of the Course and what I had learned from some previous teachers.

And when I'm reading the CE this year with fresh eyes,

What I have learned is that that's actually not what it says.

That it's not that God is a symbol or that Jesus is a symbol.

The name is a symbol for love beyond this world.

But they are beings,

And they're beings who are trying desperately to have a relationship with us,

Not because they need a relationship with us,

But because we need it.

And we're so blocked by our own perceptions and perhaps even previous teachings that dilute that when if you just go to the text of the Course,

You'll see how much richer our lives could be when we are in relationship with God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

And so that to me has just been a massive gift this year.

And I'm just so I'm sure you can just hear it in my voice.

I'm just so thankful for this new relationship with God.

And so it's not even just that I'm looking at a book with fresh eyes.

I'm looking at my whole relationship with God with fresh eyes.

And yeah,

I'm just thrilled as a result of it.

I share that gratitude with you.

And as you've been speaking,

I've been getting goosebumps because I just so relate to feeling a much deepened personal connection with God that I didn't have before because I had thought of God as just symbolic.

So that has been a true gift for me as well.

I would love to come back to the definition of miracle as an expression of love because I have a question.

So if miracles are expressions of love,

Is it safe to say because you know,

Corinne can be loving.

It seems like I in my ego identity can do loving things.

But is it safe to say that it's really Spirit expressing love through me that that love comes through me when I get out of the way because I think of a course quote that it says that the ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst.

So it's not loving.

So any love that does come through me is coming through from Spirit.

Is that is that safe to say?

I think that's true.

I think that Spirit is always trying to express love through us.

And the problem is that it gets blocked by our own faulty separate perceptions.

So yeah,

I mean,

Of course we can be loving in the ego.

But I think the Course would ask us,

Why are we being loving?

Are we being loving to manipulate someone to doing what it is that we want them to do?

So in that case,

Maybe our behavior is loving,

But it's coming from a place of ego.

And so that's another thing that the Course will ask you to do is always to come back to what's your purpose and what is it that you're treasuring.

And if you're treasuring a relationship and you need that relationship to be a certain way in order for you to be happy,

Well,

Then you can be expressing loving behaviors,

But it's still the result of the ego.

And so I think the real benefit of studying the Course as a spiritual path is that you learn to recognize what those egoic behaviors are and get them out of the way so that you can see the truth of who you are and the truth of who the other person is and then recognize that there is no difference between those two things,

And that's when you really start to have the spiritual development and the growth and the relationship that God that we were talking about before.

So you're touching on something now that I want to dive into a little bit.

In my experience,

Because I'm coming from having a significant history with anxiety,

I was wholly focused on those internal miracles,

Those shifts in perception,

Because my inner world was so painful,

All I wanted was relief.

Expressions of love I could probably have cared less about at that time.

So it was really this focus on these internal miracles that brought me to really finding a lot of peace.

And yet what I've found now,

Even very recently with these reminders from Robert to actually look at what it says on the page,

In my experience,

It's almost like these external miracles,

These expressions of love almost feel like the next sort of step,

The next sort of phase.

And what is making sense to me is that as we express that love and join with the love,

The truth in the other,

We then learn who we truly are,

Which brings about more peace than just this inner shift that I was focused on that I felt like I had to protect.

Like,

Oh,

You know,

Don't bother.

Don't affect my inner peace.

Don't disturb my inner peace.

I have this thing I need to protect.

So the external miracle is really profound and very much feels like an additional way to learn the truth about ourselves.

Oh,

Yeah.

And that's what I love about the Course.

I mean,

There's so much.

I feel like I've said in this whole podcast,

That's what's so great about the Course.

I mean,

There just is.

There's so many layers to it.

And one of those layers is that,

Yes,

You discover the truth of who you are as you see that truth in everyone else.

And so it's not really a spiritual path.

I guess maybe it could be a spiritual path,

But it's not my spiritual path to focus solely on the cultivation of one's own personal peace.

I mean,

Maybe that's something that needs to happen in order to express the love that we are.

But if that's where your path stops,

You know,

If it sort of ends with a period there,

Don't bother me,

I'm cultivating my inner peace.

Well,

Then that's not helpful to the world.

And we need lightworkers right now.

We need,

The world needs help.

And so we need people who are willing to rise up in this foundation of their own strength and their own light and reach out and extend that light to other people.

And that's what the Course is.

That's what the Course trains you to do,

Is to cultivate that light within yourself and extend it to others.

But that extension is a massive piece of the practice,

Because you can't practice the Course without seeing God in everyone.

God is put directly in the eyes of everyone you meet without exception.

And that to me is a true spiritual path,

Because we can't live in isolation,

You know.

We grow in our own path as we rub up against other personalities that trigger us in ways that cause us to grow.

And so if everything is just sitting alone,

Cultivating your own peace,

Then how much are you really growing as a result of that?

That interpersonal experience,

That interpersonal piece about the Course is just so striking to me now.

It's so beautiful,

Isn't it?

It's everything to me.

It's everything to me.

And you know,

I feel like maybe we've talked about this before,

Too.

We've talked about so much,

Corinne.

So I know your listeners may not have heard this before,

But in our conversations we've shared it.

The path of religion for me,

And I'll speak for myself,

Coming from Christianity was always a one-on-one direct relationship with God.

And it was very sort of subservient in the sense of,

Well,

If you're on your knees and if you're praying and if you're good and you do the right things,

Then God will bless you.

But it was vertical,

It was direct with God,

It didn't have anything to do with other people other than be nice,

Do unto others,

That sort of thing.

But it wasn't baked into the path,

How I should treat others the way it is in the Course.

I mean,

The Course actually says you cannot find the peace of God unless you express it to others.

Like,

That gift will be withheld from you unless you give it.

And so that just takes it to a whole other level,

Right?

So it's like you can't find peace unless you share it,

Because you only get to keep what you give.

And if you think about it,

Gosh,

That makes so much sense,

Right?

If I'm giving anger,

Then I'm keeping it for myself.

But the same thing is true with love.

And so that's something that I'm not sure I would have learned that without the Course.

And so it's another,

You know,

Check on the box of gratitude for this practice.

I'm just very deeply in love with it.

Me too,

Me too.

I'm just so I'm smiling just listening to you describe this process,

This interpersonal peace.

And I love how you said that in the eyes of every single one of our brothers,

That is where we find God,

That's where we come to know ourself.

And so what a beautiful opportunity we have in every interaction to be willing.

This really comes down to willingness,

Because we have to always remember that we can't do this of ourselves when we're identified with ego.

The ego is only going to call out the ego in another person.

It's the truth in us,

The spirit in us that meets the spirit in another that therefore then reinforces the fact that the spirit is in us.

And so I love that,

That interpersonal peace.

It's just so,

So beautiful.

Yeah,

There's a quote,

I don't know the exact quote,

But it's something along the lines of egos can clash with egos in a world where nothing happens.

And that's just so true from our experience.

I mean,

How much of what we experience and what we see in the world around us is egos clashing with egos in some way,

Shape or form.

And so as a student of this path,

What you do is you're able to just observe it as that just egos clashing with egos in a world where nothing happens.

And that doesn't mean that you retreat from the world,

As I was talking about earlier,

It means that you go through the world knowing that the essence of who we are is untouched by what we think about ourselves,

What other people think about us,

What they say,

What they do to our body.

None of that ultimately matters.

And so that gives you a tremendous amount of peace that can calm a lot of that anxiety that you talk about and have experienced in your own life.

When you,

The course talks about the proper use of denial.

And there's a line in that section that I love,

It says when you're afraid of anything,

You're acknowledging its power to hurt you.

And so if you know that underneath the body,

Underneath what you think about yourself,

Underneath what you think other people think about you,

There is this truth and nothing can hurt it.

And that creates a tremendous amount of peace as you go through your day,

If you can hold it.

That's so beautiful.

And what's coming up for me at this moment is just thinking about how the course for me is a complete pathway.

And yet I've heard folks say that they felt like it has taken them very much into their heads.

And so they found other pathways that now take them into their hearts.

And I wonder if that's partly a factor of this veil that we've been seeing the course through and it doesn't get more heart focused than miracles or expressions of love.

Like everything that you've just been describing about the interpersonal piece is so heart centered and so heart focused.

And so I just,

Again,

Feel an enormous amount of gratitude for these fresh eyes that you and Robert have been encouraging everybody to read what's on the page with.

Yeah,

The course is extremely heart centered.

It just takes work and we're not always willing to put in that work.

And if you want to get out of the course,

If you want to unlock the gifts that it has to give you,

You have to make it a practice,

Which means you have to read it,

Which means you have to find a community,

Which means you have to study.

And the course talks a lot in the text about the need to study and it puts a heavy emphasis on that.

And so I have also met course students that say,

Oh,

I did the workbook once,

You know,

Or maybe I did half the workbook and thought that they quote unquote did the course and that's just not accurate.

It's a lifelong path.

It's a,

Robert calls it a deep mine and we've only got to the surface and there's so much more in it than I think we have given the course credit for.

And it will get you to your heart,

But you have to meet it halfway.

And part of meeting it halfway also is the ability to be willing to look at our unwillingness.

Yes.

Or our willingness to look at our resistance.

And that was huge for me.

And I just want to throw this out there and really normalize this for people.

If this comes up for anyone.

When I was first listening to this audio that you and Robert did the video about the definition of a miracle and the other ones that have sort of really challenged me,

I had a heck of a lot of resistance come up.

I was like,

What?

You know,

Of course a miracle is a shift in perception.

How can it be an expression of love?

I know that they're not divergent.

They're definitely related.

But I was just really,

Really stuck with the definition about the shift.

And I was willing to just see the resistance rising rather than get caught in it just to say,

Okay,

You know,

I want to keep going with this.

I don't want to just stop where I'm at.

I want to keep going further.

And so I'm going to be open and willing to hear.

And the result of that has just been so profound.

But I've just felt like he has helped us take the next step.

So it's really important that we're willing to look at the fact that we often see through our preconceived notions.

I mean,

This is a field of cognitive psychology.

This isn't even the course.

We know that our perception is biased when it comes to,

You know,

The science of psychology.

And so being willing to just look at our resistance or our unwillingness with spirit is key.

Yeah.

And then you can take that and apply it to other situations.

So when somebody says something to you that you feel triggered by or you feel that resistance rise within you,

Then you remember,

Well,

That one time when I was thinking that a miracle was a shift in perception and that was very hard-boiled in my head and I opened up to a new definition,

Then you apply that to the situation you're in with the other person and you say,

Well,

Maybe I need to let go of some of this resistance now.

And it reminds me of that quote,

Like just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

You know,

Just because you have resistance doesn't mean you're right.

It just means that you have resistance.

And so part of the process is just looking at that and as the course says,

Being willing to see it differently.

Beautiful.

Emily,

This has been so much fun.

I'm wondering if you have any takeaway that you'd like to leave with the audience.

I was thinking about a takeaway that would be applicable to your audience.

And I know how much work you do in anxiety and I know how much you care about this topic.

And I know how deeply it affects you and how much you want to give the piece that the course has given you to other people.

And I just truly admire that about you and love that about you so deeply.

And there's a line in the course,

I don't know if I'm going to get completely accurate,

But it's something to the effect of every other voice,

Let every other voice be still,

But love.

And I just know that you know,

But I want your listeners to know that that's possible.

That maybe not all the time,

But a lot of the time,

Most of the time with the true continued,

Engaged,

Dedicated practice,

You can get to a place where every voice in you is still but love.

And wouldn't that be amazing?

And it can happen.

It's possible and it can happen through this book.

I love you,

Emily.

I'm smiling.

I just feel that gratitude and that love so deeply.

Thank you so much.

Could you just tell folks where your website is and the Course Companions website as well?

Sure.

I'm at EmilyBenington.

Com and you can find Course Companions on Facebook if you go to Facebook and search Course Companions,

Or you can go to Course Companions.

Com.

Beautiful.

Thank you so much for being here.

This is fantastic.

Thank you,

Corinne.

That was so helpful.

Emily is so clear in explaining these really important concepts from A Course in Miracles.

In addition to Emily's beautiful takeaway,

I have two more takeaways to add.

Number one,

Miracles are expressions of love that include shifts in perception.

As we allow love to express itself through us,

We call out that love in others and reinforce the fact that that love is already in ourselves.

And more so,

That teaches us that the love of God isn't just in us,

But we're in it.

We've never left our source and the seeming separation from source never happened.

In that awareness,

Even just touching on that awareness means that anxiety cannot exist.

Number two,

If you ever get caught in the feeling of,

Don't disturb my inner peace and you feel like you need to hide out and protect that peace,

Remember we can go further.

I love how Emily said that God is in the eyes of your brother.

Be willing to allow your challenging relationships to be your greatest teachers.

Be willing to see that love with a capital L in their eyes.

I love you.

Thank you for listening.

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