Embrace The No

Understand & shift your perception of the word "no." Embrace the power & the freedom that rests in your "no." NO is powerful, freeing, kind, protective, an expression of awareness, compassion, respect...

Transcript

Well hello everyone and welcome to In Motion with Shirelle.

I'm Shirelle Brown,

Founder of the 818 In Motion Life Empowerment Practice and you're listening to In Motion with Shirelle.

Today we're going to talk about the power of no.

Really I want you to embrace no.

What do I mean embrace no?

Well for many people the word no is a negative word.

It's kind of like the four letter word.

You know it's the word that nobody wants to hear and many people don't even want to say it.

But why is that?

Because we equate no with the negative,

We equate no with rejection,

We equate no with something that someone else is refusing to give.

We think of a no as something that is harmful or detrimental to us.

But I want you to think differently about it.

I was going through the Bible and I read in Matthew chapter 5 verse 37 where it said to let your yes be yes and your no be no.

It's talking about making vows and swearing and you know over extending yourself.

Just simply say yes or simply say no.

Anything beyond that you start getting into some really tricky stuff.

But that told me that it's okay to say no.

And it's even okay to hear no sometimes.

So what I want you to do today is I want you to kind of rethink some things when it comes to no and how we receive it.

In the empowerment practice we talk a lot about being intentional.

Being intentional with our words,

Being intentional with our actions and it is that intentionality that makes all the difference.

There are some things that we do on a consistent basis in life and we do them kind of rote automatically without even thinking about it subconsciously.

And sometimes when we do that we give results that we didn't expect,

Didn't want,

Didn't plan on.

Think of it like this.

Have you ever been driving and you wound up in a location that you weren't intending to be in?

I used to do it a lot.

My daughter would work.

She worked in one specific direction and my son's school was in a similar direction.

And so I would intend to go to the school and find myself pulling up to my daughter's job because I was driving really on automatic pilot.

And so intentionality keeps us from coming up with results that we didn't want to have.

We weren't expecting,

We didn't need or desire at that time in our lives.

And so when we're looking at the word no,

I want us to start rethinking how we perceive the word no.

Especially for those of us who have a hard time saying no.

We have a hard time saying no because we think that we are somehow rejecting people.

You know,

So people will come and ask you to do something and you feel like they really need it.

I can't tell them no,

But their emergency is not necessarily my emergency.

And so sometimes I have to tell them no.

But it's kind of hard because I don't want them to feel like I don't care.

I don't want them to feel like I'm not there for them.

It's because of how I perceive the no that I have a hard time saying no.

So what I learned is that no can be kind.

No can be powerful.

It can be protective.

No shows that you are self-aware.

No is a form of compassion.

It is empowering.

It is something that shows and gives respect.

No gives you the opportunity to trust and to be trusted.

No is my right.

No is my responsibility.

So let me help you.

When I say no,

I'm being kind first to myself and then to you.

I'm being kind in that by saying no I'm not raising your expectations to look for something that I am not able or willing to give.

I'm being kind to myself because I'm not overextending me.

When I say no,

It is a powerful thing.

It is me standing in all the power that I have and making a choice,

A resolute choice.

That's my no.

No protects me and no protects you.

When I say no,

That means I'm not going to allow this thing to happen.

I have a right to do that.

I have a responsibility to say no and to protect myself or others.

No shows self-awareness in that when I say no,

I am aware of my boundaries.

I am aware of my limitations.

I am aware of what I desire and don't desire and by simply saying no,

I express that awareness.

No is a form of compassion.

When I say no,

I'm being very compassionate with me and with you.

No.

I already talked about the power.

It is definitely empowering but again,

It is a form of respect.

Why?

If I say no,

I respect you enough to be honest with you.

If you tell me no,

I can respect that you know what your limitations,

What your boundaries are.

You know what you are willing to do and not willing to do.

I can respect you more when you tell me no than I can respect you but if you tell me yes and you do this thing begrudgingly or you don't get it done at all.

No brings the opportunity to trust and to be trusted.

Simply by saying no,

I trust myself first of all but I give you the opportunity to trust me to know what is best for me,

To know what I can or will not do.

I give you the opportunity to trust me when I say no because you know that if I say yes,

I will do it and if I say no,

I will not do it.

So I'm not waffling.

So now there's trust,

Mutual trust being formed in my note and again,

It is my right.

Every human being on the face of the earth has a right to say no.

No doesn't need an explanation.

It is a complete sentence.

No is powerful and no is yours.

Not only is it your right but it is your responsibility.

It is my responsibility.

When we say no,

We stand in our power.

When we say no,

We're being kind to ourselves and others.

There's nothing malicious or salacious or evil in saying no.

No just is.

No and it's okay.

So today I want you to be encouraged to go ahead and say no.

Embrace the no.

Again,

I am Shirelle Brown,

Founder of the 818 Life Empowerment Practice.

You've been listening to In Motion with Shirelle.

Thank you for joining me.

If you like what you heard,

Go ahead and share it with others.

Hopefully if I've been able to bless you together,

We'll be able to bless someone else.

Alright,

That's it for now.

Go in peace and let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Aa we approach the Christmas season, this is one on the most important things I've heard in a long time. I will embrace "no" without explanation or apology. We never have to explain "yes". I wonder why?

Thank you so much for this !