A Moment Of Zen

This is a talk and meditation on Zen. I talked bout the Sonoma Mountain Zen Center, and my time there with Bill Kwong Roshi. I also talk about enlightenment, with quotes on that from Suzuki -roshi. there is a peaceful meditation with a chance for you to sit and experience being.

Transcript

Aloha, I'm Reverend Cindy Palos. Today I thought I'd talk a little bit about Zen and my Zen experiences. I have been meditating every day of my life since I've been 13 or 14, Long, Long time. And I lived in Sonoma County and let's see that was here's what 1979-80. And I one time found out that there was a Zen temple dojo up on the hill of Sonoma Mountain. I didn't know at that time that it was kind of known to be a place of great spiritual power. And I interviewed one of the teachers there and I asked them if I could help them promote their Zen center. And they declined saying we don't really like to do promotions, Which caught my attention. Seems everyone tries so hard to get and build their places right. And then I went there you drive through the hills and through some red woods and up the hill to the top of the hill where there's 80 acres up there. And an old barn that was converted into a dojo, A zendo. And they would have classes on Saturday morning. And the classes would be brilliant light, Just so beautiful. And after the classes you'd sit in meditation. There'd be a talk like I do a talk. And they would have their meditation first, Which makes sense. And then a talk. And then afterwards you could go to the main house where they would have some food, A little lunch. And then I'd walk down a path to a trail. They would take you to a rather large stone. I'm guessing it was about four feet high. It was brought up from down at Big Sur. And it's a tribute to Suzuki Roshi, Who was Bill Kwong Roshi's teacher. And there's a little rock with water. I didn't say it's a little rock. I mean it's about two feet high. And it's carved out with water on the top and a spoon, A ladle, A ladle. Where you can take the water from the top of that rock and pour it over the stone that is in honor of Suzuki Roshi. And then you watch the water drip down, Form the lovely shadows and formations you get when water drips down over the rock. And there's a bench there and you can sit there and meditate. I love that spot. I miss that spot. I've been living on Maui for 33 years and I sometimes think that I will maybe still sitting in that beautiful zendo, The dojo there where they have that wonderful large statue. It's a lovely statue that I remember Bill Kwong Roshi brought back from his trip. I don't think he realized how big it was when he brought it back. It's large. I mean this thing's got to be about 15 feet high. So it dominates the entire room of course there in the zendo. And you feel it because obviously Bill caught something in it. He felt also that recognized that power of that graceful, Beautiful, Large, Wooden statue. It's more than a statue of sorts. But when you're sitting there on the mat you do have a chance to experience yourself. A lot of Zen is about clarifying the mind. And there's a gift to that. There's a wonderful gift to just sitting. I was reminded of this when I got a newsletter from Genjo-ji. I was talking to him about Bill Kwong's background in his new book that he has called Mind's Sky, Which I just got. It's nice to be connected even though we're so far away. But there was some quotes here from Suzuki Roshi. If you're not familiar with Suzuki Roshi, He was one of the first to bring Zen to the West Coast. He started in San Francisco and Bill Kwong Roshi was a student of his. And he had the book that he wrote, Which has become very popular, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. And from that book he talks about the section which I want to talk about today. And that has to do with enlightenment. And the quote from him says, You think that you can only establish true practice after you attain enlightenment. But it is not so. True practice is to establish that energy and delusion and frustration. If you make some mistake, That is where you establish your practice. There is no other place for you to establish your practice. We talk about enlightenment, But in its true sense, Perfect enlightenment is beyond our understanding, Beyond our experience. Even in our imperfect practice, Enlightenment is there. We just don't know it. So the point is to find the true meaning of practice before we attain enlightenment. Wherever you are, Enlightenment is there. If you stand up right where you are, That is enlightenment. This is called I don't know zazen. We don't know what zazen is anymore. I don't know who I am. I find complete composure when I don't know who I am or who you are or where you are. That is to accept things as it is. There's great wisdom in those words. And there's that feeling you get when you realize, When you're sitting, That this is all that there is in this moment. That is all. No seeking, Just accepting, Just being. A lot of our practice, Whether it's any religion, Any way you seek, Is looking for something as if you don't have it already. This may be a very, Very important key. It's part of the process, The seeking, The finding, The being, The accepting. As long as you're pushing towards seeking, As long as you are directing your mind to think you don't already have it, You are looking for something where you already are. Just ponder that for a moment. That's really one of the keys to Zen and to understanding yourself. So many people are seeking, Seeking and paying a large amount of money to find what they already have, What they already have inside. Think how funny this is, Right? And I think sometimes we think we have to pay a lot of money or you don't think we're worth getting our full value. Aren't we funny? Whereas in some places in the world they tell you to give up everything, Go into that cave, You know, Sit there for years, One robe, Maybe go begging for some food. Here we go spend a lot of money and get a lot of things to think that we can get what we need. I wrote this poem this morning. This intimate face of our true self is beyond the mind, Not limited by time or the confined by what the form defines. Only you can decide when to show what's there inside. A breath, A look, Sometimes so sublime to turn the wheel to see what's behind Buddha's smile there inside. It's yours and mine, That precious pearl right here for you to find. Now I remember going into when you do the longer zazen retreats. You sit, You walk, You sit, Maybe you have a meal in the temple, The dojo, And then you have a meeting with your teacher. One time I went in and had a meeting with my friend, Teacher Bill Kwongroshi, And he's got a little room that's very sweet just outside. You go outside and then you go into his room just outside the dojo. Now Bill's not an intimidating man. There are very intimidating zen teachers, But he's very humble, Very friendly, Smiles quite a bit, Laughs quite a bit. But when you're going in there to have a talk with him, It's different I think for everyone, Depending on what you're expecting and what you need to learn. So one time I went in there and I sat down and he asked me to show my true face. And we just sat there. It was fascinating. We just sat there and both exposed ourselves. No, Not in the physical sense, But we both had to just sit long enough to let go of the mask, The cover-ups, The things that we do when we're with a lot of people. And just go to that place of just pure being, Just not judging, Just accepting. And when you do that with another being who is doing exactly that same thing, Who is a teacher, There is some exchange, Some energy that happens. Now I do not have a lot of teachers. I have Bill Kwong-Roshian. Do I have anyone else? No. No, I follow a mystic path and that's by going inside and actually going within and finding that connection where I get guided from my inner self, My higher self into the higher source and the oneness. But I do feel sometimes if you're with someone who expects you to be your true authentic self, Something can get triggered when you drop whatever else there is. You just are yourself, Unhidden, Right? As I said, Exposed. What if we were just to do that right now? Imagine you're sitting right there with me in a beautiful peaceful space. And you know you're allowed to just be that inner wonderful, Authentic self that you truly are, That enlightened self right here in this moment right now. Let's take a breath and do that. Let's take another breath and be that. Just breathing. Just breathing in. And breathing out. Bill Kwong-Rosh said one time, Breath sweeps mind. Sweep that mind into the empty sky until you are here in this unlimited empty sky. Just allowing yourself to accept this moment of being. Be here now. Allow yourself to accept all of who you are. Feel the clearing. Feel the space and the pause that allows that presence to be here with us. Follow the breath within the breath. Nothing to gain. Nothing to lose. It's all here right now. Breathe in, Breathe out. Scan your body. How do you feel? Ah, Feel that energy. Ah, And now slowly, Ever so slowly, Come into that place of your conscious mind and body. And allow yourself in this presence of now to absorb anything that may have come to you, That you may have felt, That may have been revealed. And if any thought or any words come, Write them down. Respect yourself. And be there always in that presence. It's always there. It's always there. Enlightenment is not something outside. It's right here. It's right now. It's in all of your practice, On the mat and outside the mat, In meditation and in life. There is no separation. I thank you. I bow to you in deep gratitude and respect, And I appreciate you taking the time to just be here now with me.