Rosewater

I wrote this reflection in 2019 - just after my beloved maternal Grandmother (Nana) had transitioned. It really helped me to open my heart to a path of acceptance of loss as well as my healing. The tears flowed and I welcomed the release. My hope is that you will find resonance and comfort in my sharing.

Transcript

Rosewater.

My nine-year-old self.

I don't like rosewater.

I don't like when Nana puts it in the lemonade.

It tastes funny.

I wrinkle up my nose in disgust.

My seventeen-year-old self.

Eyes lit up at the sight of Nana's freshly baked coconut tart.

I close my eyes as I prepare to take in the sweet,

Buttery taste.

And then.

.

.

Rosewater.

My twenty-five-year-old self.

Sugar cake.

Nana made sugar cake,

Oh yes.

Pink and white and yellow sugar cakes.

I reach for the nearest one on the tray and just as I grab it.

.

.

A familiar scent drifts my way.

My heart drops.

And I look at my Nana wondering how this woman who I love so much.

.

.

Just doesn't appreciate my disdain for rosewater.

Aye yai yai,

I sigh.

And leave the rainbow-coloured sugar cakes on the tray.

September 22nd,

2019.

I am forty-six.

I am in London lighting candles.

The tears streaming down my face.

As I spray everywhere with rosewater.

I am searching for the memories of her in everything I do.

I long to feel her,

To see her.

And most of all,

To let her know how much I now love.

.

.

Rosewater.

Reviews

Lovely, beautiful 🙏🏾🙏🏾

Thank you for sharing ❤️
Bless you, and I'm so sorry for your loss 🌹 xx

The connection to her Nana permeated every sphere of my being as I reminisced about my own Grandmother through her storytelling punctuated by her soothing voice!

Sweet! I lost my grandmother last year and this was such a beautiful reminder of the impact she (and all grandmothers) have in our lives. Thank you!

This was really sweet and it resonated with me as my 46 year old self thinks about my own grandmother 👵🏽 .

Thank you! Why don’t we appreciate what we have when we have them?! 🙏🏼🌺