The Path To Real Self Confidence

The Path to Real Self-Confidence explores the true essence of self-confidence, distinguishing it from external achievements and perfectionism. It emphasizes that real confidence comes from trusting yourself, embracing failure, and taking action, regardless of the outcome. Through personal experiences, I share how stepping outside your comfort zone and cultivating a growth mindset are essential to building lasting self-confidence. This episode is a reminder that embracing uncomfortable feelings, especially when faced with failure, is key to growing your confidence.

Transcript

Hi there! Welcome to this audio and today I want to invite you to dive with me into something that I think all of us not only want more of but could really do with more of. Self-confidence. I mean who doesn't want to feel more confident in some area or another, Right? But here's the thing. While we want it, Most of us aren't really sure how to build it or where it even comes from. So let me ask you this. Have you ever thought about why we crave confidence so much? It's because it feels amazing. You, When you're feeling confident, You really offer your gift to the world and you are in your essence. So in some ways, When you are in touch with that self-confidence, You're stepping into your essence. And this is so amazing, It's so beautiful. It is what I believe is our real role or, You know, We could say our real purpose to be here. When you trust yourself, Believe in yourself and value yourself, There is this inner sense of empowerment, Fulfillment and even peace. And that's something you're not only doing for yourself, You are radiating that way and therefore you're offering that to other people too. You feel like I've got this. But you know what the problem is? So many of us look for confidence in the wrong places. I used to think once I have this, Whether it's more money, A new degree or even approval from others, Then I'll feel confident. But you know what? That's not real confidence. And of course life showed me that and also my work. That's relying on something external to make us feel good on the inside. And that doesn't last. Real self-confidence, It starts within you. It's not about getting something or becoming someone else. It's about trusting yourself no matter what happens. So you are in control of your inner environment and your life. It's amazing. So let's keep going. I think this is where a lot of us get confused, Especially when we see confident people and think, Oh wow, I want that. But let me make something really clear here, Super clear. Those people didn't go somewhere and got the confidence. They built it one step at a time and they got it wrong and then they learned and then they became a little bit more confident and that's how they did it. A confident person doesn't need to prove anything. They are comfortable in their own skin and because of that they can lift others up too. Confidence isn't I am better than you. It's more like I like me, I trust myself and because of that I can also appreciate you. Isn't that beautiful? I think it is. That's the real gift of self-confidence, I think. And here's the part I love talking about too. The difference between confidence and self-confidence. Did you know there's a difference? So let me illustrate this for you. You might feel confident when you are, Oh sorry, When you've practiced something a lot. Like maybe you are confident when you are coaching or playing basketball or doing something familiar, Teaching meditation. But self-confidence, That's a mindset that goes beyond any specific skill. It's about trusting yourself in any situation, Even when you don't know all the answers, Even when you're doing something new. Take me for example. When I started coaching in English I was a little nervous to be honest. Even though I speak English every day, I live in an English speaking country, My partner speaks English, Is Irish. But coaching was different. It's more personal and I didn't want to make mistakes. I had that kind of, You know, Perfectionist, Making it all amazing, Beautiful and perfect in my mind. But I had to remind myself self-confidence isn't about being perfect. I really had to walk my talk. It's about knowing that I can handle whatever comes up, Even if I do stumble a bit, Which is fine. Now I'm totally okay with it, But it took me the journey to keep doing it imperfectly and growing and adjusting and making it better as I went along. And that's where growth happens. You build confidence by doing, Not by wanting to feel a hundred percent ready. That is an illusion. So that's where the growth mindset comes in. When you have a growth mindset, You understand that mistakes are just part of the process. Failure isn't a dead end, It's a feedback. It's like, You know, When a kid is just learning to walk, They fall down a hundred times. I remember my two ones doing it and, You know, They get hurt and they cry. But each time they get up again and they get a little stronger and they keep trying it. They don't stop. Imagine if we did stop trying to learn how to walk. So confidence works the same way. The more you step outside your comfort zone, The more you grow. Now let's talk about something important, Action. I know it sounds simple, But taking action is the key to building self-confidence, With the right mindset, Of course. If you are sitting around waiting to feel confident before you take action, Well, You're going to be waiting for a long time. Confidence doesn't come first, Action does. That's when you practice your courage to do something, To take that action, Even if it's for the first time, Knowing that you might even fail and that's okay. Knowing that you might be feeling really scared, But let's do it anyway. When you take action, You either win or you learn. And that learning, That's what builds your confidence for the next time and the next and the next. You might look at successful people and say, Oh well, It's easy for them to be confident, They've already made it. But the truth is, They got there because they had self-confidence first. They didn't wait for success to feel confident. They took risks, They worked on their mindset, On their beliefs, They did the things they needed to do, They failed, They learned and they kept going. That's how they built it. It's not like it looks so easy and that's why they are already confident. No, It's a journey and it's a journey for everyone, Including you and me. So the biggest thing that holds people back is the fear of failure. But here is something that changed my perspective. The worst thing that can happen is an emotion. That's it. Think about it. Fear, Embarrassment, Disappointment, They're just feelings. And if you believe that you can handle any emotion, And you can, Then what's stopping you from going after what you want? Nothing. Self-confidence is knowing that even if things don't go as planned, As they don't, You can handle it. You don't have to be perfect or have all the answers, That's definitely not the case. You just need to trust that you will figure it out. You will be able to manage your emotions and you're gonna feel negative emotions and it's uncomfortable and that's part of it too. So if you're hesitating, If you're afraid of failure, Don't let that stop you from taking action. The truth is, You're either going to fail ahead of time by not trying, Which is really sad, I think, Or you're going to fail by taking action and learning from it and growing and becoming more. At least one of those options get you closer to your goals, Right? And let me leave you with this. There is no person on this planet who is better than another human being. It doesn't matter if someone is a CEO or struggling with their own personal battles. As humans, We're all equal. We have different strengths and weaknesses, Sure, But nobody's better than you. Once you truly believe that, Your self-confidence will grow naturally. So here is your reminder. Take action, Embrace failure and know that you can handle whatever comes your way. You only need to manage your thoughts and your feelings. You're not going to die. That's where real self-confidence comes from. Thanks for listening and I hope this inspired you to take that next step, Whatever it may be. And remember, Your confidence grows every time you step outside your comfort zone. Until next time.