When you think of becoming an adult,
What comes to your mind?
Do you think of getting a job,
Buying a house or finally organizing your own doctor's appointments?
Today I want to talk to you about growing up,
But not in the way that you might think.
No,
Today we're diving into the concept of emotional adulthood.
Growing up emotionally doesn't always happen with age.
You may know people in their 30s,
40s,
50s,
70s and beyond who still seem stuck in emotional childhood.
Emotional adulthood isn't about a job,
A house or the external markers of success.
It's about something much deeper.
In order to become an emotional adult,
We have to turn inward.
We need to look at situations in our lives with a new perspective,
With more empowered eyes.
Are you ready?
Let's dive in.
Before we talk about emotional adulthood,
Let's get clear on emotional childhood.
Now,
If you recognize yourself in these patterns,
Please don't judge yourself.
Most of us live in emotional childhood before we learn this.
Even when we do understand emotional adulthood,
We can still slip back into old habits,
Myself included.
So let's be gentle with ourselves as we explore this.
Emotional childhood happens when we depend on external things,
Like what people do,
Say or what happens around us,
To feel good.
And we blame those things when we feel bad.
It's a real insane cycle.
We don't take responsibility for our thoughts and feelings.
In emotional childhood,
We don't yet understand that we are in control of our thoughts and emotions.
And as a result,
We often blame others for our circumstances.
And here's the truth.
Most adults are living in emotional childhood.
If you ask someone who is upset and why they are upset,
They rarely say,
Oh,
It's because of how I'm thinking.
Unless maybe they are into mindset work or awareness work.
Instead,
They'll say,
This thing happened and now I'm having a bad day.
Maybe,
You know,
My partner doesn't want to talk to me about a problem we're having and I'm pissed off.
Or my boss said no to my holiday request and I'm really frustrated.
We think changing people,
Circumstances or situations will change how we feel.
But that rarely works.
And I would even say that's a real emotional trap.
Now,
One of the most common areas where emotional childhood shows up is in,
Yes,
Relationships.
Whether it's romantic or with a family member or friendships,
Many of us expect others to make us happy.
We write unspoken kind of instruction manuals for how they should behave.
And when they don't follow it,
We get upset.
But when we hand our happiness over to others,
What happens is we lose control.
We disempower ourselves and this damages our relationships and our self-esteem because we forget how to create happiness from within.
And that,
My friend,
Is the only way to create real happiness and real inner peace.
Now,
If you are realizing you've done this,
Don't you worry.
It's not your fault.
Society conditions us to think this way.
We hear things like,
Oh,
Did he hurt your feelings?
Or,
Oh,
Don't say that.
You're gonna upset her.
So this kind of thing teaches us that others control our emotions and they are the other way around as well.
But the truth is,
Our emotions are ours to control.
So how do we shift out of emotional childhood?
When we realize that we are responsible for our emotions,
That's when we begin to step into emotional adulthood.
Emotional adulthood means taking ownership of our inner world.
No matter what's happening around us,
We get to decide how to think,
Feel,
And respond.
And this is where emotional freedom comes in.
Emotional freedom is the ability to face life's challenges and triumphs without giving your power away.
When you master emotional adulthood,
You take control of your entire experience of life.
It's just amazing.
It feels so good.
You stop being a victim of circumstances and start actively creating your happiness,
Fulfillment,
And peace.
In emotional childhood,
We indulge in a victim mentality.
We believe life is happening to us.
But when we shift into emotional adulthood,
We realize life is happening for us.
Each challenge,
Each situation,
Is an opportunity for growth and choice.
And many people resist taking responsibility because they don't really see how empowering it can be.
But once you realize that your results are connected to your thoughts and feelings,
You open the door to true emotional freedom.
And again,
That is just amazing.
It feels so empowering.
Now,
Let's talk about how you can start this journey today.
I'm going to give you some practical tips to get started.
Okay,
So take a moment,
Pause,
And breathe.
Maybe grab a journal.
Then ask yourself,
Where in my life am I letting others control my emotions?
Where do I feel powerless and how can I reclaim that power?
What beliefs are holding me back from creating my own happiness?
And what steps can I take today to embrace emotional adulthood and reclaim my emotional freedom?
Let me leave you with a powerful quote from Viktor Frankl,
A Holocaust survivor and author of Man's Search for Meaning.
He said,
Between stimulus and response,
There is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
That space between what happens and how you react is where emotional freedom lives.
When you practice giving yourself that space,
You take back control of your emotions and you can respond from a place of power instead of reacting impulsively.
We all have the power to choose.
We can step up,
Take responsibility,
And unlock the true freedom of emotional adulthood.
Now,
Take the first step and start creating your emotional freedom.
Thank you for listening.
Lots of love.
