Hey guys,
Just a fair warning before you dive in that this podcast does contain explicit language.
Hey guys,
So I am coming at you from this beautiful sunny day in Italy.
Today has been more of a light day in terms of work,
So I have a bit of an opportunity to focus on creating and playing and having some fun.
I am really,
Really excited about the way my day is unfolding.
I just recently bought a new chair and I am kind of playing around with the idea of whether or not I am going to keep it.
I am not sure I am in love with it and I am not sure it is the right fit for me.
One of the things I am learning in my life is how to not settle.
So I think that after I record this podcast episode I am going to look a little bit more into this chair and see if it is the one that I really want.
But before then I am here to share a little story,
As always,
About the power of protecting your vibration and how this is showing up for me in my life.
So protecting your vibration is pretty much everything,
To be honest with you.
And in my life some shit has been going down,
Especially in personal relationships.
In a lot of ways I am not really proud of the way that I behaved.
I think that there was a lot that I could have done better,
But the first thing that I realized I didn't really stick to is prioritizing myself,
Prioritizing my well-being,
And prioritizing my own vibration.
Because the reality is the energy that we bring to the world is the only thing that we are in control of.
Our thoughts and our way of being and the actions that both of those things influence,
That is our entire life.
That is our sphere of control.
And everything else,
And I really mean every other single fucking thing,
Is completely out of our control.
Completely.
So in my personal relationships I've been having a bit of a tough time.
I haven't been showing up as my highest self.
I've definitely been giving in to lower vibrations and I've been allowing a lot of shit to really get to me.
And none of this would be happening if I had chosen to protect my vibration in the first place.
So one of the first things that I noticed is that I did not honor my alignment and my self-care practices in a more strict way.
Now you've,
If you've ever heard me talk on Instagram or,
I don't think I've mentioned it too much in the podcast yet,
But I really don't believe in having a rigid morning routine.
I think that having any kind of routine or having a lot of rigidity in life actually doesn't give us space to show up where we're at and to be who we are in any given moment.
So I do believe that there's value in having practices that you can turn to when things get difficult,
But I don't think it should be like,
Okay,
7.
45,
I wake up and I meditate.
And 7 or 8 o'clock I get up and I do yoga and then I have a green juice and then I sage my house and all these sort of white girl tactics.
I'm just going to say it.
A lot of these white girl spiritual tactics that we all have,
There's so much privilege behind this and that's a conversation for another day.
But regardless,
I do think that showing up and honoring yourself wherever you're at is super,
Super,
Super important.
So I don't think that I did that.
I don't want to be rigid with it,
But I think I could have been a little bit more strict about showing up and doing things even when I didn't want to do them because I needed to do them.
So that was like one of the first ways that I kind of fucked up this week.
And when you don't take care of yourself,
You really can't take care of other people.
And protecting your vibration and making sure that your energy is in a good space.
And I mean the energy that you're giving off,
Not necessarily your energy levels,
Because I think those two things are different.
I think that they're connected,
But I do think that they're different.
Because since I've been back in Italy,
My energy levels have been quite low because I haven't been sleeping very well.
But the energy that I give off can still be pleasant.
It can still be high vibe,
Even if I'm not feeling high energy.
I think that there is a huge difference here and something that we really need to be mindful of.
So I think that taking the time to invest in myself and my alignment and doing some more things that are self loving and self care would have made a huge difference for how I was showing up in conversations with people.
And how I was showing up when people maybe behaved in a way that I didn't find very aligning or that I didn't really mesh well with.
I could have had more of like that sort of pause that would have allowed me to show up in a better way.
Another thing that I kind of did this week that I wouldn't have done had my vibration been higher,
Had I been taking care of my own energy is I lowered myself to meet this other person that I'm in this situation with.
And where they're at instead of holding steady to my own vibration and giving them the opportunity to meet me where I'm at.
You're going to meet different people in your life.
Everyone has their own energy,
Everyone has their own vibration.
We all know somebody who's like super negative Nancy and it doesn't matter if it's like the most beautiful day and everything's going well they're still going to find that one thing to complain about.
And to be honest with you,
Different strokes for different folks like I'm not here to get you to change people or to encourage you to like walk that path because I think it's destined to fail if you do do that.
But I really do think that like we have a choice to show up as our best selves,
And we have a choice to stay there even when it gets hard.
And this week,
I did not choose to stay there.
I definitely chose to lower myself and to respond to someone's negativity with negativity,
Which really doesn't get us anywhere,
We don't end up moving forward we end up moving in a circle.
I behaved in a way that I'm not proud of,
Because I prioritize my relationship with this person instead of ensuring that I was taken care of.
So it was more important to me that we be on the same level and we have a conversation about our relationship,
Rather than I show up and take care of myself,
And then I come to you and come to this relationship with my own unique perspective,
And that's just literally it's a recipe for disaster,
It's really really really a recipe as recipe for disaster because when you try and meet people where you,
Where they are at,
Instead of maintaining the level that you know is right for you,
You're taking away an opportunity from that person to grow,
And you are taking away a growth opportunity for yourself by not challenging yourself enough to maintain your vibration,
Even in a shit situation.
I know that that's not always possible okay I know that life gets in the way and shit gets hard and it's,
You know,
Not necessarily super easy to keep that vibration going,
But I do think that it is one of the most important skills that we will ever learn,
And real talk,
I have been crap at it,
It has been a month of me,
Lowering myself to like the level of everybody that's around me and not making sure that I am showing up as like the best person that I can possibly be in a situation,
But especially in fights,
Especially in fights,
And especially in like situations where I've been really uncomfortable and I've been in a couple situations since I've been back in Italy where I have been ultra uncomfortable,
And I have chosen to respond,
Kind of as not the worst person,
Worst version of myself but definitely not the best.
And yeah,
So that's like something that's huge for me because the reality is I want to show up,
Always as the best person that I can possibly be as the person that I want to be maybe even in some cases you know like that ideal version of me and not necessarily who I am,
Even,
But like striving in a healthy way to reach a new level and to reach a new best if that's possible,
And I allowed myself to be pulled back into old patterns,
Instead of doing this.
So,
It's a choice.
I know that sucks because I'm not giving you some kind of how to today but literally it's a choice.
If you want to be your best self,
Then in the moment when it's shit,
When it's really fucking hard,
You have to stand up and say,
Okay,
I am going to do this instead of what I used to do.
Here's all my old patterns.
Here's all my old shit.
Here are all my old habits,
And now I'm going to choose the opposite,
Or I'm going to do things differently.
And it's not simple,
And there is no one and done.
This is going to be totally like a learning lesson where you're going to like do this and one time it's going to go great and the next time it's going to be okay and another time it's going to be shit,
And it really doesn't matter because it is your responsibility as a decent human being to constantly make sure that you are showing up as the best possible version of you that you can in any given minute.
Okay,
Despite low energy,
Despite being tired,
Despite being whatever,
Despite the situation being hard,
Okay,
All of it.
And let me tell you to like in the last month I've cut myself so much fucking slack.
I have cut myself way too much slack in saying like well I'm tired so you know it's okay that I behave this way or,
You know,
Things have been hard so it's okay that I behave this way or those people were mean to me or those people did this or that person did this.
And so it's okay that I didn't show up as my best version of myself,
No,
No no no fuck that because the reality is is that those people are in control of me and I'm not in control of those,
Those people,
I can't control how people show up or what they do the only thing I can control is how I feel and how I behave.
Another thing that I kind of fucked up on is I rearranged my whole life to make someone else comfortable.
I went way more than halfway,
I did way more compromising than was strictly necessary.
And I understand that compromise is necessary,
But not when only one party is doing it.
I went way over 50% to make someone else comfortable.
I made decisions that I wouldn't normally have made to make someone else comfortable and being in situations like that made my vibe,
Obviously lower,
Like I,
My energy was way lower because I was sinking to meet someone where they're at again and not asking them,
Like,
Hey,
You know,
It's better up here like do you want to maybe come and meet me where I'm at.
So I'm going to kind of wrap this up because I don't want to like take up too much of your time but protecting your vibration is the number one thing that you can possibly do,
And you do this by honoring yourself by loving yourself by setting by setting vibrations by setting healthy boundaries and I actually have a podcast episode coming out about that as well.
And just like constantly doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.
And that looks like a million things.
Sometimes it looks like walking away.
Sometimes it looks like taking a bath and all the stereotypical sort of self care things.
Sometimes it looks like eating healthier prioritizing sleep prioritizing exercise prioritizing time to connect with yourself through journaling through meditation through Oracle cards whatever the hell it is that makes you feel most like you and allows you to connect to the truth of who you are.
That is always going to be more important than any other single fucking thing on planet Earth.
And I know that that sounds like maybe selfish to you.
And if it does,
I would encourage you to dive in and ask yourself why you feel that taking care of yourself is selfish and what paradigms and patterns from other people from culture from society from your family are you running that makes you feel unable to honor yourself in that way.
And then once you kind of dive into that pattern like why do I feel this way,
And then ask yourself again,
Why do I feel this way and then maybe ask yourself one more time,
Why do I feel this way.
Once you've kind of gotten clear on that.
How do you move forward,
You move forward by honoring yourself by loving yourself and putting yourself first so you can take care of other people.
Second,
And by prioritizing your own vibration and staying true to who you are and asking other people to step into the best version of themselves in order to meet you where you're at,
And not sinking to other people's level because it's often much easier to do that than to hold true to who you are.
And to how you feel,
As always,
I hope this serves you.
And I hope that you get something from this that you can apply to your own life.
If you ever want to connect with me or if you have any questions about any of the topics I've talked about in the podcast you know today the vibration or any of the others that have come out or are coming.
You can always reach out to me at Candace Elasia on Instagram at Candace Elasia coaching on Facebook,
Or on my website www.
Candaceelasia.
Com I've got a little contact me button if you scroll down to the bottom of the page you can see my email,
Reach out because that's what this is all about.
This is about connecting.
This is about healing.
This is about serving and I really want to be there for you in any way that I possibly can be.
So yeah,
So much love mad mad love for you guys and I can't wait to connect on the next episode.
