Letting Life Surprise You!

This episode has been inspired by some really beautiful synchronicities over the last week! In this episode, I talk about why it's so important to allow yourself to be open to receiving the good that life has to offer and I also break down exactly how to do that! If you've been in need of a little mindset refresher, this is the episode for you. I take you step-by-step through the process of reframing your beliefs to help you be more open to letting life surprise you!
Let me know what you think!

Transcript

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Wild Free Will podcast.

I'm excited to talk to you about the topic today.

It's a little bit different than like where the direction of the podcast has been lately because I've been really surprised by life lately.

Yeah,

It's definitely been a trip the last like week or so and I kind of wanted to talk about that.

So last week I was just kind of doing my thing and like working and nothing was really like out of the ordinary but all of a sudden I was being just kind of inundated with requests from friends to do things and like receiving messages from clients and stuff like that.

It was really different and it was really pleasant like it was really really nice to be in that in that energy and that kind of got me thinking about this idea of are we allowing ourselves to be surprised by life essentially.

Like these requests that came in for me were from people that I wasn't really expecting to hear from.

So like one was like from a new friend and then one was from like a friend that I haven't spoken to and like god I don't even know I think a year or more maybe yeah maybe like a year or two.

It's definitely definitely been a while maybe even longer than that actually which is like crazy to say.

So yeah definitely like a year or two like stuff that was just like totally out of the blue and it was so interesting because these these kind of like last minute plans like I think that normally I struggle a little bit with this and I feel like a lot of people can relate to it because there's so much to do in life and we have a lot on our plates and not even talking about like work or whatever but even just like the balancing of doing all the things that you need to do at home,

Taking care of yourself,

Taking care of your kids,

Like taking care of your relationship if you're in one,

Pets if you have them.

There's a lot of demands on our time right and then there's work and then maybe there's also like passion projects outside of work or hobbies and really there's only 24 hours in a day and so I know that like these surprises can can sometimes be sort of I don't want to say unpleasant that's not exactly the right word but it is that kind of idea like when something is unexpected it can be kind of hard to fit it in to this like predetermined sort of path or routine that we have set out for ourselves right so and that's definitely something that I struggle with.

I can't I would not say that I am super spontaneous in my day-to-day life so if I decide to travel I often decide to travel spontaneously and while I'm traveling I don't make any plans basically at all.

I don't buy any tickets,

I don't buy I don't schedule tours,

I don't do anything like I'm just completely free to do what I want and I think that's so interesting even to like the dichotomy of how like within our regular lives we feel like we need maybe more structure and more stability but then that kind of for me at least all goes out the window when I travel.

But anyways this time the the surprises like they were just so pleasant and so well-timed and it really got me to thinking about how we can maybe block life or God or the universe use whatever terminology like suits you best whatever you you resonate with the most but how we can often block life from delivering or like literally bringing good things to us because we are so maybe trapped in our thoughts or we're so like stuck in our ways or we kind of have our head down you know in some ways like we're plowing through life literally with our head down not really stopping to see what's around us and so we're not inviting in this new energy not inviting in this new perspective we're just kind of staying where we've always been and just kind of going on like that which is a recipe for a really truly boring life because that's just not where you I mean you don't learn and grow from your routine right like the best and most expansive experiences that you've ever had in your life I'd be willing to bet if you looked back over your life would be from things that were completely unexpected or like times where you did something that was unplanned so like maybe the nights that you went out to the bar and you met your partner for example but that night you didn't want to go it was kind of like your friends said oh no come on you know and then you kind of went along with it or whatever and so when we are able to shift our perspective and there is a little bit of mindset work that's that's here to be done as well right because routines and habits like we get so ingrained in them it can be very very very difficult to let them go so there is like a perspective shift and like some mindset work that needs to be done but when we can be in a space of openness and receptivity and like when I say openness I mean literally like look up look up from your phone like look up from your feet look around you and see what you see differently like walk through your neighborhood and instead of seeing things as always the same or taking the same route or going the same direction even just shifting that way can like just just really blow your mind and really change the way that you view your own world but just really shifting into this space of expecting good things to come into our lives which is not I don't think it's necessarily easy I definitely think it's simple everything is simple because it really just at the end of the day boils down to a choice so everything is simple but I'm not certain that it's necessarily easy to be in this space where you are breaking out of your comfort zone often and releasing your habits and releasing your routine and trying new things like that's not always easy and I also believe it comes in seasons okay I don't think that for me personally when I am in actual winter like the season of winter and when I'm in maybe a personal winter all of this is just like a nice idea this is not something that I'm necessarily able to actively put into practice or if I do it might require more energy than it would if I was in spring or summer right whether whether that be literal spring or summer the seasons that we all live together or a personal spring or summer where I'm in a really good space mentally and and so on and so forth so I think that it's easy to do because all it takes is a decision to do something differently and that single decision to do something differently automatically it's like a domino effect right it changes everything that comes after it because you've done something differently and so the response to that action will automatically be different but it can be difficult to put ourselves in that situation depending on how we feel and then if that is the case and that's where you're at then it really does go back to the podcast from like the last three weeks or so which have been very very much rooted in self-care so how can you take care of yourself so you can be in the space of a sort of internal summer so that you can be in the energy of allowing life to surprise you and expecting good things to come to you right so it's all cyclical and it's never one without the other it's always all of these moving parts and all of these little pieces together which can become overwhelming at times if we let it but it doesn't necessarily have to be because it's more about the way that we approach things right like we don't have to choose to see this as work we don't need to choose to see personal development or our lives as only work we get to choose and we get to write literally write craft create the story that we live every single day and it can be a story of woe is me and shit always goes wrong and nothing good ever happens and whatever or it can be like you know good things are coming to me and I'm open to receiving whatever the universe has to to give to me today and I am willing to see this from a different perspective right those are also each of those things that I said on both sides are just choices that is it it's not that one is and you adopt them over time like I'm not saying that if you're starting from one side of the spectrum okay if you're starting with like things always go wrong you're waiting for the other shoe to drop the shit is inevitably going to hit the fan and I mean yeah okay life the shit is inevitably going to hit the fan and it's more about what you do when it does but anyways if you're living from that space you're not going to wake up necessarily tomorrow you might you might wake up tomorrow but you know it may not happen that way you you're probably not going to wake up tomorrow and just all of a sudden be like Pollyanna and like oh yeah good things are coming everything works out for the best and whatever it is a series of small decisions that you make every single day to move in that direction so you move away from this idea of and like if we're really going to break it down let's say that the idea that you have is like things don't work out for me the first place you're wanting to start is does that actually serve me like is that is that thought creating the life that I want to be living and and you need to be really honest with yourself because if you're if you're thinking a thought like that or similar it is serving some kind of purpose in your life full stop full stop it doesn't matter what the thought is if you are thinking it repeatedly it is because you are getting something from that thought now maybe that is you know being able to be a victim or receiving pity from other people or whatever it might be whatever floats your boat we've all got our kinks okay we all get something though out of these like negative thoughts maybe it's never having to try because if things never work out for you then there's no point in putting in the effort to try because you already know that things aren't going to work out so you can just stay the same and like ho hum and and kind of cry in a corner and it's fine right because you already know that it's not going to work out so trust me when I say you're getting something from it but when I say is it serving you what I mean is is it going to take you from where you are now to the life that you want to be living are you moving in the direction of the life that you want to be living yes or no and if the answer is no then it's then it's about moving on to the next step okay so kind of there's a couple of kind of deviations here that we could take one of the things is where did this thought come from it can be useful for some people especially people who are who are addicted to or need to really know the why it can be really helpful for you to look at where did this idea come from who modeled this behavior to me when I was a child because 90% of what we're doing we're basically just like running around as like seven-year-olds trapped in like adult bodies basically so who modeled this behavior of things never work out for me was it mom was it dad was it someone else in your family was it your teachers your siblings was it your friends like was it something that happened to you personally like you had an experience at a very young age that kind of created this thought within you you can be there and figure that out some people don't necessarily need to do that though some people can just go straight on to the next step which is okay if this thought isn't serving me I need to create a thought that does what is the thought that is not this doesn't work out for me what is the thought that actually does serve me and help me get to where I'm going so in this case we could take um the actual same sentence and switch it so from nothing ever works out to me or sorry nothing ever works out for me to everything always works out for the best or everything always works out for me okay that's that's literally just flipping it now what happens when you've been living in a negative mindset for a really really really long time your brain hears everything always works out for me and it thinks no that's a crock of shit like look at all this laundry list of examples that we have available available for you from our you know filing system of all the times in which things did actually not work out for you um and so your your brain is going to begin kind of negating that okay that new thought and there's a lot of things that I'm not going to be getting into today that you can do in order to in order to combat those um there's a lot of work that you can do um with like the subconscious and stuff like that and and even just like actively like active practices that you can do for helping to instill that thought but I'm only going to focus on one for today which I think is actually the simplest um simplest in terms of the fact that it actually gives you something to do it's not passive it's active okay so if that's if that sentence everything always works out for me triggers something in you and you feel this sort of like that's bullshit ringing in your ears okay what you're going to want to do is add some kind of like introductory phrase that makes the sentence true so something along the lines of I'm in the process of believing that everything always works out for me or I'm willing to believe that everything always works out for me or I'm willing to live or experience whatever that everything always works out for me or there's another one too but now I can't remember what it is there's another one that I always use with clients and now it's like totally evading me but anyways those two are valid enough and you can switch them up don't take my words either if they don't fit with you like definitely use whatever whatever resonates most with you so now you've got your new thought and the next step after that is obviously a million things that you could do there are a lot of steps a lot of tools that you could use but if we're talking just about the thought itself so the new thought I'm in the process of believing that everything happens for a reason or everything happens for me or just everything happens for me right everything always works out for me whatever version of that that you want to use then you begin to browbeat yourself with it and I understand that that sounds ridiculous but it really is that you need to constantly tell yourself that story because your brain is busy running the opposite on default so you need to like almost no I don't want to say it in a negative way but you almost need to overwhelm your brain and your thoughts with the new thought until it slowly starts to eke out the other one okay until the old thought of like nothing ever works out for me begins to dissipate until and until it eventually I don't want to say disappear either because I'm not certain that that's actually the way that it goes but it certainly lessens to the point where when you hear it come up you're like oh hang on like that's not what I believe anymore it's there but it's not loud okay it might make itself known every once in a while you know it might show its face but it's not the predominant thought you're able to recognize it as well when it comes up and shift it to this idea of no actually everything is always working out for me so and then from that point you would just build on that and you would begin to to engage with the world from that space and one of the ways that you do that is by by living and behaving as if you were a person who actually believed that everything always works out for you and you would do that by taking actions that are probably quite different if not polar opposite to the actions that you were taking when you believed the other thought and this is where people get tripped up it is one thing to sit in your house and repeat an affirmation to yourself it is another thing entirely to get out in the world and actually live it that is where the rubber meets the road it's not enough to just think pretty thoughts you need to think pretty thoughts while you're driving and somebody cuts you off you need to think pretty thoughts while you're walking down the street and like you accidentally step in dog poo okay and like something goes wrong or you know your boss gets mad at you at work or your you know your your husband or your girlfriend or your wife or your partner or whatever says something ignorant to you and you're like mad you need to live those affirmations even in those moments that's when you know you've achieved some kind of mastery with that thought another thing that often trips people up in this process is they work on seven million things at once don't do yourself a favor and do not do that work on one thought at a time focus and go deep and then incorporate it as you build your skills and you build your muscles okay of like mindset work so this is like me literally taking you through like a process right and it doesn't have to be just for this thought but this in this all of this is connected to this idea of like being able to be surprised by life and if you have this mindset of positive expectations and good things are coming and things always work out for me and so on and so forth and you know I didn't even talk about the fact that a lot of people say that works that that's selfish that's a whole other ball of wax that I'm gonna call massive bullshit on um I actually got fed that I believed for many many years almost like irrevocably that everything always worked out for me and then I had a couple of people very very very close people in my life like inner circle people tell me that like I wasn't allowed to believe that because other people don't believe that and like that's exactly why you need to believe it it's because other people fucking don't but anyways I had like a little bit of brainwashing and I I'm now in the process of recapturing that but I don't believe that it's selfish for people to believe that things work out for them I think it is fucking survival it is necessary for you to believe that things are working out for you because what is the alternative think about that for a second what is the alternative to sit on the couch like a sad sack and believe that life is shit like is that really how we want to spend our time and we should do that why because everybody else is because everybody else believes that that's the case like pass if I wanted everybody else's life I can assure you I would not be having this conversation with you right now I would not be living the life that I'm living so I don't want to believe what everybody else thinks is okay or what everybody else thinks is quote unquote right or good because it's not getting them what they want so it's certainly not going to get me what I want so I don't believe for a second that believing that everything works out for you is selfish it is only selfish in the eyes of people who are not able to buy into this idea because they don't think they're worthy of having things work out for them let me say that again because it's a big one the idea that everything always works out for you is only selfish in the eyes of people who don't believe that they are worthy of things always working out for them who don't think that they are worthy of believing that or living that experience 100 million percent right that's somebody else's bullshit and if that's something that you struggle with please go back to episode one of my podcast which is the that's not mine technique and go have a little deep dive into that okay because if that shit is not yours that belongs to somebody else and the the sooner you drop it like a hot potato like the hot potato that it is the sooner your life can go on being awesome seriously so there is no selfishness in this what happens is though as you begin to adopt this more and more you are able to become magnetic you literally become magnetic with this thought because your expectation is that things are always going to work out for you and your your brain is like a computer okay so when you are feeding it this kind of input which is positive mindset positive thoughts positive beliefs believing that everything is going to work out believing that you're you're worthy and deserving of things working out when you are feeding yourself that your brain looks for an output or a result or whatever that is in alignment with the information that you have provided it okay so for example when you ask a question or when you present a problem to a computer it automatically begins finding an answer that matches the problem so if you're walking around thinking that nothing ever works out for you your your brain the computer in your brain is going to be looking for evidence and proof of every single thing that doesn't work out for you it's literally going to be presenting that for you to you sorry that does not mean that there is nothing in your life that is working out for you it's that your focus is on what isn't working and you can shift that with the power of your decision which is what we talked about at the beginning okay and a great example of this is when you go to buy a car i remember when i was living back in my hometown and i was thinking about buying a car because i thought that i would end up staying for a while in my hometown and boy was i wrong i was there for like all of three months i think at the end but anyways um so i was thinking about buying a car and in particular i was thinking about buying a nissan micra and at the time like before that i'd never like thought to like literally not ever thought about it at all and then all of a sudden i swear to god the only car on the road was a nissan micra why why because the nissan micra was something that i chose to put into my field of awareness i inputted the nissan micra into my computer in my brain and my mind started looking for things that were related to or associated with the nissan micra so i was seeing them everywhere where before i saw none now does that mean that there were none of course not of course not it's not like magically there's more nissan micras because i'm thinking about buying one that doesn't make any sense so they were always there i just wasn't paying attention to them and that is exactly what i'm talking about here there are good things in your life there are ways in which life always works out for you there is proof available to you through your lived existence that you are simply not aware of because the thing that you're inputting into your field of awareness right now is things are not working out for me or things never work out for me or things are always bad or whatever whatever bullshit story you're telling yourself that's the that's do you guys know the story of like the two wolves that's the wolf that you're feeding okay and so you when you begin to believe this idea of like okay good things are coming um i'm gonna let life surprise me i'm gonna go with the flow i'm gonna like just allow whatever it comes come i'm gonna be okay with whatever comes you become magnetic and you actually attract more of what you want because you're vibing like you're you're totally vibing and you're feeling good and that attracts more good over time and it's just it's such a powerful process not necessarily a simple process or sorry not necessarily an easy process especially it depends on where you are in your personal development journey like how long have you been doing this work for have you done mindset work before because if you haven't then then this might take a little bit longer and that's normal and you're gonna have to focus on it probably quite a bit at the beginning which is a huge pain in the ass i remember i was there like it was a while ago but i've been there and i hated it i hated the process because i wanted to get to the destination right away but if i had been kind to myself and if i had focused on the process instead of focusing on how hard the process was i would have made changes so much faster now that being said we're all on our journey and everything always works out exactly how it's supposed to everything happens for a reason i believe it's so so wholly i've done like 7 000 podcast episodes on it go back and into the archives and you can find like at least two or three episodes where i talk about that i genuinely believe that so i wasn't meant to learn any sooner than i am but i know too now that i'm in a place of accelerated growth and like so much self-responsibility and sovereignty that like when i see things going wrong in my mind i deal with them right away and it took a long time to for me for me personally it took a long time it doesn't have to take a long time but it did it took me i started this this journey in about 2008 and it's 2023 so we're at 15 years now that i've been in this world that i've been in the personal development world um and it's not really until the the last probably like two or three years that i've really been able to do this with any kind of efficiency because i never stopped once i got to this point in the last two or three years i i just kept moving forward and never stopped the process i never gave up i never quit i just kept going right and every time i would see a thought i would work on it and so on and so forth and i would say too especially in the last three months like in 2023 that has been the probably the biggest game changer um in terms of like focus like i just don't have i don't have time for bullshit anymore i don't have time i mean for my bullshit i don't have time for my own crap like if i'm feeling something i'm gonna feel it if i'm having a big emotion i'm gonna have a conversation with myself i am literally going to treat myself like a child and ask myself what is going on you know why am i feeling this way is it true and so much of this is what i talked about in this episode too it's similar right in ways and i'm going to to say okay but is this serving me and then i'm going to make a change and it becomes easier because i am doing it all the time now especially in the last three months like the last three months i have been in the school of life and i have been moving through a ton of shit my own shit again and it has been wonderful um it has been triggering but it has been wonderful and i feel like i'm coming out the other side of it and i'm coming out the other side of it with a toolbox that is exploding with with things that i can use whenever something doesn't feel right and whenever i need to feel good again i have a toolbox available to me that i can tap into that that moves me immediately from a to b it's just phenomenal so it does get easier over time but the crux of this is that it starts with a decision you are powerful you are sovereign and the only person who can make a change in your life is you and you can only make a change once you have actually decided that you're going to do it and not like somewhat decided and then thinking about maybe going back on it or whatever but like actually legit 100% decided that you are just going to do the damn thing and then wait and see the magic that comes so to kind of like leave you just with a question can you let life surprise you are you ready for that are you ready to be surprised are you ready to receive good are you ready to attract what you want by feeling good are you ready to get your mindset right people my goodness it is the foundation of everything you live in your head right you think thoughts all day long they had better be something that actually serves you no because like you get one life so if you're going to spend it thinking bullshit about yourself like what a waste right why not think the best why not think the most wonderful thought that you can possibly think about yourself in your life that's what life is about it's about feeling good and enjoying yourself it's not about working and dying right like it's not well paying taxes too working paying taxes and dying it is about feeling good and you deserve that you absolutely deserve that I hope this episode served you I hoped you loved it um I think this was kind of a bomb ass episode honestly like not to toot my own horn but toot toot anyways uh I hope that you loved it and if you did I would love it if you left a review or if you subscribe that would just mean so much to me your support is just invaluable and I'm so grateful that you're here listening to me every week and yeah this and to all the people who have been leaving reviews thank you so much for your kind words and like even for your critiques I just I see you and I appreciate you and you guys are helping me refine and make this a better and safer space so just yeah I see you and I appreciate you and I love you and thank you so much for for being here um if you want to get in touch with me I'm always open for a little chat right I'm here so you can find me on instagram at candicealacia c a n d i c e a l e s s i a or on my website at candicealacia.

Com have an amazing weekend and I will see you on the next episode ciao

Reviews

WOW. WOW! WOW! This is exactly what supports my path. Thank you. Namaste.