My strongest,
Bravest friend.
Whether you're in the thick of the storm or on the far shore,
Shaking yourself dry,
Warming your bones,
I know the searing pain and aftershocks that tear through you some days,
Stealing both breath and hope with surprising stealth.
I know the albatross of misplaced guilt,
First socking a punch,
Inviting you to wrestle,
Then weighing down the air,
Neither of you the winner.
I know the tears your pillow has absorbed,
And you will be okay.
I know the spicy stew of emotions you simmer in,
Some sweet and savory,
Some bitter,
Threatening to spoil the pot.
And even so,
Don't barricade yourself against those unwanted feelings,
Using your precious energy to keep them out.
Instead,
Invite them in.
Have tea with anger when it calls.
Ask what lessons it brings,
And what truths you might unearth in its company.
For no emotion outstays its welcome,
Once your heart makes space for its teaching.
This is the dance.
Control.
Let go.
Accept.
Let be.
Control offers the illusion of power,
The near enemy of connection.
Don't be fooled by its offer,
As it will wear you down and erect walls between you and those you seek to control.
What if instead you make space for the unknown?
Oh hi unknown,
I don't like you,
But let's lay down our weapons and get to know each other.
What you might discover is a new bloom.
Freedom.
Ease.
Metamorphosis tucked into the painful corners of this war you didn't want.
A war that has blown you off course from your destination.
The greatest deception though is the destination.
Don't let your seeking of an ephemeral end point rob you of the quiet shaded patios where you're meant to rest and rejoice along the way.
Rest.
Rejoice.
You've arrived.
You are inside your wild beautiful life.
It's saying,
Are you there?
Are you awake?
Will you let me show you all I have for you?
Set aside those plans and expectations.
Let's dance and you will be okay.
My friend,
Don't believe you've been short-changed,
Cheated,
Punished,
Called out because you suffer.
Is the pearl offended as it's being tumbled and polished by rough sand?
You dear one are being ever so lovingly polished.
You are hand crafting the gift of breaking the cycle.
One that will impact the lives of your great-grandchildren and their grandchildren.
It's not for nothing.
It is for everything.
Yes,
There's a fracture where your vase once was whole.
Pieces missing,
Broken,
Imperfect.
It's not as you'd imagined.
But the liquid gold of acceptance,
Willingness and love will seep into the cracks,
Sealing and strengthening the vase of your family.
So that one day the imperfections become your most valued possessions.
Why then do you continue to choose the darkness?
To be a storm with skin that brumbles around,
Afraid to try on a smile.
You want someone to say,
Look at him,
Look at her.
How do they carry it all?
You want someone to see your pain,
Acknowledge the weight of it and carry it with you.
You hold immense power.
The ability to shift the mood in a room when you walk in clouded by your own storms.
There's comfort in the familiar weight of worry.
It shields you like a heavy raincoat.
The courage though lies in pulling sunshine into the darkness,
Not knowing what the light will expose.
Beauty,
Secrets,
Possibilities,
Answers.
What to do?
What to do?
Find a forest,
Thrash and scream at the sky.
Beat a drum by a roaring fire.
Howl your pain through you and give it to the earth.
Give it to God.
Get it out.
Don't let it make a home in your bones or they will become porous and break.
And you will be okay.
It happens one breath at a time in between what you would have said and what you do say.
In a moment of gratitude for a lightning bug or a peacock wandering by.
When you feel the tug of empathy where anger and judgment used to live.
It happens when your lessons become a lighthouse or another.
The greatest gift I can give you is you.
This is life's boldest invitation to awaken.
The only true failure lies in resisting the invitation.
Be gentle with yourself today my friend because you are going to be okay.
