The Lost Ability To Love

Society didn’t bring us up on the healthy, wholesome nourishment of play and work and the pleasures of the senses, and as we grew older, the pleasures of the mind. Instead, they addicted us to a drug called “approval.” A drug called “success.” A drug called "money" and "reputation" and "making it to the top" and "never feeling good enough or having enough." As a result, we've lost our ability to love. We can recover it by waking up to seeing all the illusion we were feed.

Transcript

Take a little child,

Six months old,

And inject heroin,

Any drug into the body of this child,

Okay?

And you keep injecting the drug into this child,

And after a while,

The child is craving for the drug.

See,

It hasn't been brought up on good,

Healthy nutrition.

It's been brought up on the drug.

And so when you deprive the child of the drug,

The poor child goes through the agonies of death,

The body of the child.

Ready for a surprise?

That's what happened to you and me,

To all of us.

They drugged us.

When we were kids,

They didn't bring us up on the healthy,

Wholesome nourishment of play and work and beauty and the pleasures of the senses.

And as we grew older,

The pleasures of the mind.

Oh no,

They gave us a taste for a drug called approval,

A drug called success,

A drug called making it to the top,

Achieving it,

Affirmation,

Triumph,

Victory.

They gave us power,

Reputation,

Fame,

Prestige.

They gave us this drug.

And you know something?

We began to feel good.

It was kind of a giddy feeling,

A great feeling when they were applauding us.

And we started thinking,

Well,

It was great to be famous.

It was great to be successful.

It was great to be made much of.

It was great to be popular.

Result,

As we began to grow,

They could control us any way they liked,

You know.

All you have to do is withhold the drug.

Boy,

If you haven't gone through this,

I salute you.

They don't approve of you.

How uneasy you feel,

How restless.

They criticize you.

They're not affirming you.

Withdrawal symptoms.

You're crawling back for reassurance.

You know,

As a result of doing this,

You've lost your ability to love.

Because when you need someone,

You cannot love that person.

Do you know why?

Because you can't see that person anymore.

When a politician needs votes,

He stops seeing people.

When a business woman or a businessman becomes crazy over money,

They stop seeing people.

When I want something out of you,

I'm not seeing you.

I want to get something out of you.

And do you know,

My dears,

It's so bad that 24 hours of the day,

Consciously or unconsciously,

We want something from the people around us.

We want their approval.

We dread their disapproval.

We're scared they'll reject us.

We're scared that what they think of us.

How could you love people like that,

When you're so dependent on them emotionally?

Reviews

Great wisdom and truth 💛💫

Ohhhhh Fantastic! Right to the point in my moment. 🔐 🔑 ❤️

Lovely

Nailed it!

Brilliant as usual. I will repeat listening to this track. Undoing the programming means reprogramming on a regular basis.

I love all of de Mello’s talks. So happy to find him here on IT

Omg what’s powerful talk

I was smiling and smarting simultaneously - this was clear, succinct and hit home hard. Thank you, Anthony!

Always relevant and useful!

Thought provoking!!

Interesting perspective, now what’s the rest of the story? ☮️💟🕉

Wow! Thank you! I needed this today 😁

Fantastic talk. I will share this with everyone.

I recently found Anthony’s work and it is blowing my mind! He holds nothing back! I feel like I am seeing some things for the first time ever. I am very appreciative.

Profound. Thank you and Blessings. 🕊

How have we not seen this before? It’s true.

Interesting view. I do seek others approval and I’m working on not doing so 🙏

In this moment I feel like those three minutes just changed my life

Thank you for sharing. Love his book and talk Awareness.

Wow. Powerful, poignant words.