What's Popular Isn't Always What's Right - Alain de Botton

Alain de Botton says in his book that philosophy teaches us to be more discerning, to realize that what's popular isn't always what's right. To be more authentic to our wants, desires, and needs. To move away from the mainstream and status quo.
Track culled from video material and contains ambient noises

Transcript

Hello everyone!

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Bhoomshakha and I welcome you to my channel.

As always,

I'm so grateful that you're listening,

Subscribing and commenting.

I really appreciate all the feedback that you gave me upon my videos and the fact that you are still liking them.

I was a little bit worried that it was kind of getting boring,

The format,

But I'm glad that it isn't.

Because I have so much to talk about still.

There's so many things that are going on in my life and in the world.

I'm sure that there's so many things to talk about in general.

I'm not running out of things to talk about yet.

So let's see how far this goes.

How far the tunnel goes or the rabbit hole.

In this one,

I wanted to speak to you about something that I read recently in a book I'm reading or listening to called The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain de Botton.

I don't know how to say it.

He's French philosopher,

A writer and he's brilliant.

If you haven't read any of his stuff,

I do recommend it.

I'm not an expert.

I just started reading him.

But I've always loved his quotes whenever I've seen them.

So I was like,

Why don't I read some of his stuff?

So I've been listening to the book little by little,

Trudging along.

And one of the things that he said in it that I found really brilliant was,

What's popular isn't always what's right.

And I think that's exactly how he said it.

I'm not paraphrasing.

I just heard it a few days ago.

So I'm sure it's exactly right.

What's popular isn't always right.

This is something that I struggle with all the time as an individual,

As a human being,

As a person,

As an INFJ,

As whatever you want to call me,

This being that I am in this world right now,

Because I've struggled with this actually all of my life,

All of my entire,

Well,

As much as I can remember from the time I was 12 or 13 years old,

When I can remember myself thinking about these things.

I remember that I struggled with this because I always would think,

I was like,

All right,

Cool,

Just because everyone else is doing something,

Does that mean that is actually the right way to do things?

And a lot of cases actually,

In my opinion,

It's not.

Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's right,

In my opinion,

Of course.

And these are all my opinions.

So if you don't agree with it,

Please let me know,

Obviously.

But also realize that I'm just one measly little human being in this entirety of the universe.

So really,

What does my opinion matter anyways?

This is Rich coming from a YouTuber,

But that's what I think.

But the reality is that just because everyone else is doing things a certain way,

Does it really mean that it's right?

Or does it just mean that we have been conditioned to believe that that is the right path in this moment in time,

In this epic that we are in,

And maybe in the future,

Things are going to be a little bit different,

And they're going to change so much that what was right right now is going to be wrong in the future.

And you've seen this happen throughout history,

Over and over again,

Where at first slavery was right,

It was the right way to do things,

And now obviously slavery is wrong.

And right now we're all like,

Of course,

Slavery is wrong,

I mean,

Come on,

How could you even think the other way?

But back then,

No one argued with the fact that,

Yeah,

No,

Of course,

Slavery,

Awesome,

That's the way to do things.

Same thing with women not having any rights,

Or not being able to vote,

Or having to work at home and not having jobs,

Or being basically treated like slaves,

Domestic labor.

Of course,

At that point,

It was considered to be right,

Completely right,

Absolutely right,

Of course,

Yeah,

That's the only way to do it,

And now it's completely wrong.

No,

That's not how you do it.

So I always think of it that way,

Because we can learn from history,

Even if we don't.

The fact is that things are always changing,

Things are always,

Always changing.

And the example is homosexuality,

Right?

I mean,

I don't know about the Roman times or the Greek times,

I believe that during those times it was okay,

But I do know in the last few years,

A few hundred years,

Homosexuality was wrong,

Everyone considered it wrong.

And now,

Of course,

It's right,

And everyone's like,

Well,

Yeah,

Of course it's right,

Everyone's allowed to love the way they want to love.

Why should there be a ban on it,

Right?

I mean,

In certain countries,

Still it's considered wrong,

And people are stoned down for it.

Whereas in certain countries,

People are legally allowed to do it,

To get married and all that stuff,

Or legally told,

Yeah,

You're okay,

You're awesome,

Great,

Love who you want,

Love all,

Love is for all.

I'm not saying that one side is right or one side is wrong,

Of course,

You know which side I'm on,

But I'm just saying that things are always changing.

Things are always changing.

Even if I believe,

Yes,

Of course,

Homosexuality is normal,

It should be allowed,

It is allowed,

It is just a fact of life,

Or the fact that women should be allowed to be free and do whatever they want,

And obviously we should not have slaves,

Even just because I believe it as one individual,

Or we believe it as a nation,

Or we believe it as a collective humanity in this moment in time.

In the future,

It might completely be different,

Or it might be exactly the same,

Who knows,

But things are always changing.

So what's popular right now,

The opinion,

The popular opinion right now,

Doesn't mean that it's actually right.

It's right for us right now,

Yes,

It is right for us right now because that's the way we're living our lives,

And if you want to go along with the collective,

And if you want to integrate well into society,

Then yes,

Go along with the collective,

Follow what they're doing.

But if you don't agree with it,

Does it mean you're wrong,

Or does it mean they're wrong?

For example,

A few years ago,

Even maybe 10,

20 years ago,

A woman like me,

I'm already 37,

And if I wasn't married in India,

I'd basically be shunned from society,

I'd be thrown out of society,

Or really denigrated,

Or treated terribly.

And right now,

Look at me,

I'm living the best life possible,

I'm living my ideal life,

Even though I'm unmarried,

Ashamed,

And single,

Just loving life.

So what's right?

Was that right?

Is this right?

What's right?

How do you even know?

Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right.

Just because it's popular to get married doesn't mean it's right.

Just because it's kind of getting more popular to have polyamorous relationships,

Many relationships,

Doesn't mean that that's right.

Just because it's getting more popular to have common law relationships,

Doesn't mean that that's right.

Why?

Who decides what's right or wrong?

Why do we have to even decide what's right or wrong?

Of course,

In order to maintain society,

And the structure of society,

And to make sure that crimes aren't committed,

Or people aren't killing each other,

All that stuff,

Of course we delineate laws,

So we're not going into each other's homes and doing all these terrible things.

But beyond that,

The reason we have the justice system is because law in general,

And what's right and wrong,

Is completely a gray area.

There are no black and white areas in law.

Yes,

Maybe one or two things like,

Okay,

If you kill a person,

That's wrong.

Yeah,

That's pretty much a black and white thing.

If you kill an animal,

Though,

It's not wrong.

Why?

It's the same thing.

It's a being.

But it's not wrong because you're eating it.

Certain people will say,

No,

It's absolutely wrong.

Some other people will say,

But no,

It's not wrong.

I'm eating it because I need to live.

I need to eat to live.

Of course,

Again,

There's this weird thing where you're like,

Who's right and who's wrong?

Is this party right?

Is this camp wrong?

The same thing with the religious arguments that people make,

Political arguments,

Or the pro-life,

Pro-choice arguments.

Which side is right?

Which side is wrong?

Really,

There is no way to tell because whatever's popular right now seems to be right.

But a few years down the road,

It might not be popular anymore and it might be wrong.

And then a few years down the road,

We might kind of backtrack again and be like,

No,

That's actually right.

So really,

The whole point of this video,

I think I've iterated it enough,

Is that really what you have to do is figure out what's right for you,

What's wrong for you.

Now,

I'm not saying,

Of course,

That you kind of start harming other people in the process.

But like,

Well,

It seems right to me that I start killing people.

Well,

Maybe not that far going into it.

But for me,

For example,

Living the life that I lead,

Not being married,

Not having a typical 9 to 5 job,

Roaming around the world,

Not being situated in one place with one person in one location is right for me.

It feels right.

It feels good.

It feels like I'm in alignment with the universe.

I feel just perfectly aligned with everything that's going on with me and perfectly aligned with my life purpose,

Living like this.

It's right for me.

Is it right for everyone?

No,

Of course not.

Actually,

In fact,

A lot of people look at me and they try to live like me and are not able to because it's too difficult for them or too different.

They just can't do it.

So what's right for me is not right for you.

What's right for you is not right for me.

And this all results in the thing that we all need to decide what's right for us in our own minds,

With our own conversations,

With our soul,

With our psyche,

With our self,

With our deep,

Deep,

Deep self and figure out,

Okay,

Maybe if everyone else is doing something,

Yeah,

Maybe I want to do it like that too.

If everyone's buying an iPhone,

Yeah,

I think I want to buy an iPhone too.

I think that's great and I'm going to do it.

If everyone is jumping off a cliff,

Yeah,

You know what,

Actually,

I think I would like to do that too because I feel good about it.

I feel like it's the right way to do it.

So yeah,

Just feel into yourself.

Feel into your deep self,

To ask yourself questions.

It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong for someone else or if it's popular or not for someone else or for society or for the collective,

But what feels right or wrong for you.

What is it about yourself that dictates how you want to live your life?

And the example that he gives in it is a military example,

Which he uses a lot of military examples,

Of course,

Which for me is a little bit weird,

But that's what he does.

And he said something like,

You know,

There was this,

He asked a couple of questions,

Socrates,

I think he was talking about,

Asked a couple of questions to these military guys saying,

You know,

What's courage?

And they were like,

Well,

Standing in front of an army or a battle and not giving up,

Not retreating,

Just standing tall and pushing forth,

Right,

Kind of thing.

That's courage to them.

And Socrates was like,

Well,

What about that general?

And he gave an example of a general who actually retreated at first or an army that retreated at first because they knew that they needed to girdle up their loins or whatever,

You know,

Like they needed to get their resources up together again.

And so they retreated for a bit and then they went back again into battle and they won.

And Socrates was like,

Were they not being courageous?

Were they not being diligent in their strength?

Like they weren't actually taking care of the situation properly?

Were they actually doing the wrong thing?

They won though.

Like,

Does that not mean that they're courageous?

They were brave enough to take a step back and then move forward when the time was right.

Is that not courage?

And so,

Again,

If we kind of go by what's popular and not actually ask our heart what's popular or what's right for us,

Then we might follow an adage or a rule that's set up by someone else that was right for them,

But is not right for us.

Or is wrong for them,

But is right for us.

Right?

And so we need to come back to the source of our decision making,

Which is our soul.

And of course,

We do that by going still,

By asking ourselves lots of questions,

By knowing ourselves,

By knowing what's good for us and not good for someone else.

And that will all require a lot of conflict,

Perhaps,

Maybe confrontation with the people around you,

Maybe arguments where you're like,

No,

Actually,

That's not right for me.

I'm sorry,

But I'm not going to do that.

Maybe you lose some friends,

Maybe you lose some family members,

Maybe you'll get into arguments or confrontations with people around you because they're like,

Well,

You're an idiot.

Stop doing that.

But all of that is necessary because what's popular is not always right.

And it's not probably always right for you as well.

So you're going to have to decide,

Okay,

What do I want to do?

Do I want to do what's popular?

Do I want to go along with the crowd?

Or do I want to do what's right for me?

Do I want to do what's absolutely perfectly all right for me and my soul in this moment in time?

So I do not get deterred and thrown off the path to some random path that's not right for me.

But it's popular.

And so I hope this makes sense.

Oh,

My God,

This video is already so long.

I hope this makes sense to you.

If you have any questions about this,

Obviously,

Please comment below and I shall do a follow up video.

Again,

Thank you so much for being on my channel.

I really appreciate your support.

And I shall see you in the next one.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Always nice to hear validation of a core value/principle such as this. Thank you for continuing to share these insights with us here on Insight Timer. Your enthusiasm and joy is so refreshing when things are getting a bit challenging. ❤

I see you and the light within you. Be well. 🤲🏻❤🤲🏻