The Process Of Gaining Authenticity Within Yourself

The process of gaining authenticity is a slow one, and it starts as soon as you realize that you are putting on a mask of some sort over your real self. Every single time you do this, you are able to move closer to your real self, little by little.

Photo by Ihor Rapita from Unsplash.

Transcript

Hello everyone,

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Bhoomshakha and I welcome you to my channel.

As always I'm so grateful that you're listening,

Subscribing and commenting.

I really appreciate the support.

In this one I wanted to answer a question that was asked by one of the members of the Bhoomshakha's Free INFJ community on Facebook and the question was,

You know,

What is the process of becoming authentic?

Authenticity,

If you know,

Is one of the most primary quality or primary value of an INFJ but in general I think authenticity is something that's becoming extremely important in the world because people care about other people who are authentic.

They want to be around people who are themselves,

Who are not putting on a mask,

Who are not wearing a mask or playing roles or who are not being artificial in any way.

I mean all of us have certain masks on obviously but as close as you can get to the essence of who you are to that authentic self of yours,

The more other people will appreciate that in you and you'll notice that,

You know,

Some days you'll go in or go out into the world and you're feeling very blind,

You're putting on lots of masks and you're just like I don't want to show my real face and you'll notice that the connections you have with people are gonna be not as great as if you went out on another day where you felt really good about yourself,

You felt really great about the person that you are and you felt very connected to your true self and you were absolutely comfortable showing off that true self to the world.

You'll notice that the connections you make are gonna be deeper and more meaningful.

Conversations you're gonna have are gonna be deeper as well and you're gonna notice that everyone's gonna be able to connect with you easier,

Much much easier.

I notice that for myself at least,

I know that on those days when I feel like I'm closing myself off and I'm cutting off my authentic self from the world,

I just feel like I don't want to be outside in the world because I just I don't mesh with people and they don't mesh with me,

They can see,

People can sense in authenticity.

I feel like that's one of the things that people don't really understand or realize is that even if you're the most oblivious person on the planet,

You will still be able to sense when someone's being inauthentic.

Really you can,

You might not say anything about it obviously because most people are being inauthentic in some way,

In some shape or form but there's obviously levels of it.

Some people you meet and you're like oh my god they're completely completely fake,

Completely artificial.

You have no idea who they really truly are and perhaps they themselves don't have any idea of who they are unfortunately and some people you'll meet and they're exactly what they're on the inside is on the outside right and you can tell like wow okay you're exactly who you are like what you say you are and that feels really good to be around that because you're not you're not trying to think about the person,

You're not trying to guess who they are,

You're not trying to assume that they're this or that,

You're not,

There's no like games that you have to play and there's no thinking process that's involved.

What you get is what they are,

That's it,

You know nothing to think about,

Nothing to guess,

Nothing to ponder on.

I noticed that the process of becoming authentic is actually about knowing yourself.

It's kind of interesting to me how like every single video that I do a lot of them I do you know it always comes down to know thyself,

Know thyself,

Know thyself.

I'm pretty much like a I feel like I'm like an automaton just like repeating the same words over and over again but it really is the truth of it that the more you learn about yourself and that learning process itself is so long because what happens is you know when you are born as a baby you are authentic like there are no inauthentic babies I feel,

I think,

I believe,

I mean every baby comes into the world pretty pristine and pure and not putting on masks at all but as we get older we start putting on little by little masks and masks and masks.

By the time you're a teenager it's literally all just masks right because you have no idea who we are and so we have to play all these games and roles to try to figure out who we are so you know we kind of enter a new group and we're like all right I'm gonna play this rule and I'm gonna try and see if this is who I am and you realize no I really don't like this I don't think I am that and then you try something else and you see am I this no actually I don't really like that either and so it's like an experimental process where you try try try try try and then you figure out okay yeah this feels right this is exactly who I am.

If you have that space some teenagers some children don't have that space to explore to experiment because they're told by their parents who they are this is who you are this is what you're gonna do this is how you're gonna live your life no need to experiment no need to learn about anything you know what you are because I'm telling you this is what you are and it's kind of interesting because I've had that happen to me when I was younger as well and you know sometimes my parents still try that I'm like you know that can't happen anymore because I know who I am.

Unfortunately when you're a teenager it happens very easily because you have no clue you know you're like I have no idea who I am so if someone tells me this is what I am all right cool I am that I am.

Unfortunately a lot of Asian cultures are like that unfortunately a lot of cultures in general have become like that American I think as well sometimes it's very conformist like do what I tell you to do live the life I would tell you to do you know society tells you this your parents will tell you this your teachers will tell you this and then you kind of become more and more of a mask rather than who you are.

Some people are able to break free and able to be themselves and that's great that's awesome you're strong enough to do that that's great some people are not it takes some time for me I think it took me until I was 30 31 32 to be like all right yeah this is who I am actually to figure that out I think it took me that 20 years to be like all right this is exactly who I am awesome I know who I am right so it took me a while so don't be worried if it takes you a decade or two it's fine if it takes you longer than that it's fine as well if this is the life this is what life is about it's to figure out who you really are and so obviously I do recommend experimenting a lot to figure out who you are like really I'm not saying obviously do very crazy dangerous experiments but I did do a lot of random things in my youth in my 20s to be like all right who am I really what do I really like to do what do I want to do what do I want to do this or that that or this who do I like who do I want to be and so I tried many different things you know I would go to a class of like salsa dancing to see do I am I a dancer do I like that kind of dancing and then I was like no I don't like strict restricted dancing like ballroom dancing or salsa I like free flow modern dance and so I put it that out and then you know what kind of music do I like so I tried all the different musics and I was like I like techno I love techno or electronic and so like little by little you can experiment you kind of run your own life experiments you know you're doing it for yourself you're trying to figure out who you are and so some experiments are gonna be extremely big like quitting your job and roaming around the world for ten months like I did some are gonna be smaller like trying out a different pair of shoes maybe you know trying out a different yoga class maybe or trying out a different backpack I don't know I'm just making up stuff here but literally like it's huge range and so every day or every other day or every week or every month you know you're trying out something new you know I tried a keto and I really liked it I didn't I didn't like Brazilian jiu-jitsu at all like I was just way too aggressive for me a keto is very sensual and very very soft and I love that about it so you know you try different things try all these you have so many things to try but eventually you know you will figure it out really it's actually quite apparent when you like yeah I know what I don't need to experiment anymore because I really know who I am like this is what I am and even though everyone else is telling me this is not who I am because that's what happened to you as well people still try to tell me you know that's not who you are and I'm like you know that's that's that is who I am for example you know people I was like no you're an extrovert you're not an introvert I'm like you know what how can people be so sure just because they watch a couple of my videos or you know they kind of hang have hung out with me a couple of times but they know me better than I know myself it's just craziness but anyway so that's the process of becoming authentic is that little by little the more you know yourself the more you're able to be like all right this is who I am this is not what I am doesn't mean that you won't still put on masks when you go outside in the world right of course that's not the point of it the point is you yourself within yourself know who you are right and sometimes I will go into a group and I'll notice myself putting on masks I'll be like ah the mask coming on I can see it happening because I just don't want to show them my authentic self because I don't feel safe in that group I don't think that they would accept me for who I am and so I'm like all right I'm fine with putting on a mask pretending for a couple hours and I'm leaving or pretending for a few minutes and I'm leaving but you will notice you know as soon as you're putting on a mask you'll start noticing that moment and you'll be aware of it and you're like I don't like this and then you'll basically run away from the situation right so I when I notice that happening to me particularly I know I know I know that that group is not good for me and I need to not spend that much time at them or as little time as possible or even like abandon that group completely in general I spend a lot of time by myself so I don't have that issue because I can be as authentic as I want a majority of the time which is nice there are some moments when you know family friends will come over and I'll be like all right let's put on a mask let's go in and play the role and so that's okay I got on mind as long as majority of the time I can be authentic and myself with myself true to myself I am alright with putting on masks the rest of the time it's absolutely fine 10% of the time 15% of the time it's not a big deal at all because I know what's going on I'm aware of it it's a conscious process rather than an unconscious one so that's basically literally the process of becoming authentic very long very slow very tumultuous chaotic arduous like just low goings and at point you can be like I'm not I don't know what I'm doing I don't know if I'm making any progress and I know from myself I I know the entire 20s that I was in I was like I was doing some experiments and I trying someone trying trying trying but it felt like my goal of becoming authentic or learning about myself was so far away and all of a sudden you know I turned 30 or 31 and clicked I think it was like a 28 it clicked that's like oh right no this is it I think I made it but even now like I'm 37 now and I still feel like I have moments where I'm like oh right no I don't actually like that and so little by little I'm still discovering parts to myself and it's just fascinating because I feel like I've been doing this for the rest of my life until I die I'll be discovering parts of myself that I've probably pushed away or hidden or not spoken about or whatever might be right there's still me so many reasons for that I basically think that's it again if you have questions about its further questions please comment below and I shall do a follow-up video because it is such a wide topic right it's so varied and there's so many aspects to it so if something doesn't make sense comment below and I shall do a follow-up again thank you so much for listening for being on my channel I really appreciate your support and I shall see you the next time around bye for now