False Assumptions - Are You Basing Your Important Decisions On Them?

Today, we discuss how we often based decisions on false assumptions. We rely on these learned assumptions to guide us through life. Sometimes, we are still using assumptions that worked a long time ago but are no longer applicable today.

Please note: This audio is ripped from a video blog.

Transcript

Hey guys!

I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakha,

As always,

And I welcome you to my channel.

I'm so grateful that you guys are listening,

Subscribing,

And commenting on my channel.

I really appreciate the support.

In this video,

I want to speak to you guys about how a lot of us are actually living by assumptions or learnings or gains that we made in our childhood or a long time ago,

Depending on where you are in your lifetime right now.

We're basing our life and a lot of decisions on these false assumptions or learnings.

A lot of times,

We made these learnings or assumptions at a time when it was appropriate for that learning or assumption.

It made sense at that time in the environment that we were in or in the era that we were in or in the time that we lived in.

But suddenly,

Things have changed.

The environment has changed.

Technology has improved.

Right now,

We're still using sometimes assumptions or learnings that we've gained a long time ago.

Even though it worked at that time,

It doesn't necessarily mean that it'll still work in this time.

I'll give you a really easy,

Quick example.

When I was younger,

Much younger,

I think I would have been about 8 or 10 years old.

We lived in the Middle East.

I was born in India,

Obviously,

In New Delhi,

But we lived in the Middle East.

I lived in the Middle East all throughout my childhood.

We'd go back to India for our summer vacation.

My mother would take the three of us.

I don't know how she managed it.

She would take us through all of this mad journey.

We'd come back to Delhi and we'd stay there with my grandparents.

My grandmother,

From my father's side,

She was a very stern woman.

She was extremely strong and strict and a little bit scary as well.

I avoided her as much as possible because her energy was a little bit too tough for me,

Perhaps.

Maybe I was too sensitive.

I don't know what it was,

But I just tried to spend as little time around her as much as possible.

I felt like she was too critical,

Perhaps.

Also,

I felt like she didn't like me.

I don't know why.

Just a child's intuition,

I guess.

At nighttime,

We didn't have that many rooms.

We were poor.

We didn't have that many rooms in our house,

So we slept on the ground.

My grandma slept on the ground.

My mom and my sister and brother slept on the bed in the bedroom.

That was the only room with air conditioning.

We got that room,

Which is nice of them because we were a little bit more pampered than them.

I'm sleeping on the ground and I'm afraid.

My heart is beating so fast because I'm so afraid that there's going to be bugs around and rats and I'm freaking out.

I'm sleeping on the ground with my back to the ground.

My back is protected.

I'm looking up at the ceiling,

Worried about the fact that I'm sleeping on the ground,

Especially next to the stern woman who I'm a little bit scared of.

I'm lying there and my grandmother looks at me and she says,

What are you doing?

Why are you sleeping like that?

You have to sleep on your side,

Otherwise you're not going to be able to fall asleep.

You need to sleep in that fetus position she showed me.

She's like,

If you don't sleep like that,

You're not going to fall asleep.

If you sleep on your back,

You'll never fall asleep.

I am an impressionable eight-year-old at that point.

I'm thinking to myself,

Really?

Is that really true?

I mean,

She's old,

So she should know what she's talking about.

She must know what she's talking about,

Right?

She has to know what she's talking about.

So I kind of integrated that learning into myself as if it were gospel.

Ever since then,

I cannot sleep if I am lying on my back.

Seriously,

Guys,

No matter how tired I am,

I'll be lying there and I'll just lie there for hours and hours and hours because I just feel like I cannot fall asleep because I'm lying on my back.

As soon as I switch positions into the fetus position or the fetal position,

I'm on my side,

Laying in that curled up ball-like position,

Instantaneously I'll fall asleep.

I've kind of experimented with this in the past couple of weeks because I want to do this video.

It's really so freaking true.

I'll be on my back and I'm lying on my back and I just cannot fall asleep.

I'll try really hard and I'm really sleepy and I'm tired and I know I'm sleepy.

I can't fall asleep.

I'm motivating myself and I can't.

It's because basically of this learning or assumption that was created in my mind in my childhood by my grandmother when I was obviously really young and impressionable and it stuck with me until I'm 35.

I mean it's like more than 20 years later and I'm still running by the same assumption.

Now of course this is a very simple thing and it's not really such a big deal.

It doesn't really matter that much.

It's not going to change my life in any way.

It's not going to harm it in any way.

So it's all right to have this assumption.

It's not a big deal.

But there are certain assumptions that we make in our life and certain learnings that we gain and we keep these with us until we die just much to our detriment.

It's actually creating harm in our life.

It's creating a negative impact in our life.

It's causing us to live a life not up to our potential.

How should I put this?

What example should I use?

There's so many examples that you know I've been breaking a lot of my assumptions in the past year.

This has actually been the year for it where I'm looking at myself and thinking ah this is an assumption that I'm holding true to my heart and it's actually not true or another assumption that I've been holding true to my heart for years on end and it's not true.

One of those assumptions I feel like I have held to my heart for a long period of time is that I'm not good at relationships.

It's actually an assumption that has hurt me in a lot of ways and still continues to hurt me because I refuse to get into relationships because I have this knowing inside of me,

Not based on intuition or anything but just something that I've learned or assumed about myself,

That I'm not good at relationships.

Notwithstanding the fact that I have many relationships that I'm extremely good at that I've kept contact with and people love me and I love them and we have a great relationship,

Notwithstanding that I kind of look at the rest of my life and the two or three examples that I have in my life are four or five where I failed in that relationship and I did not do a good job.

I look only at those failures and I just ignore all of the good relationships that I have in my life that are successful,

That are running well and are continuing to run well.

And so I made this assumption in my heart because of those two or three failures,

Four or five,

Whatever you want to call it,

And I'm just thinking to myself,

All right,

I'm crappy at relationships.

I should just not even bother.

I'm just going to be single for the rest of my life.

Now again,

Perhaps that's true in certain manners.

I am not perfect at relationships.

No one is.

I have a lot to learn and gain but that's the whole point of being or going into a relationship.

You're going into it to learn about yourself and to grow as a human being and also to learn about the other person.

That's the reason people get into relationships because they think or want to learn more about that person.

They like them and they think that there's something interesting about them and it captures them,

Captures their heart and they want to spend more time with that person,

Right?

And so this false assumption is ruling my life right now and as I said,

I'm really trying to break it,

Smash it into the ground and trying to learn new things about myself so that I'm not basing my life on assumptions that I've made years ago based on some wrong things that I did that were true for me at that point in time.

Absolutely true.

So yes,

I was much worse at relationships in the past in my teens or in my 20s.

I actually was not as good as I am right now.

I am a little bit more careful,

A little bit more empathic.

I have a little bit more self-love which helps and I know myself so much better which helps absolutely in my relationships.

So I am absolutely 10,

100 times better than I was in the past but I'm still basing my assumption that I'm bad at relationships on that past.

And I'm sure you guys do exactly the same with a lot of different things that you are perhaps doing in your life,

Right?

I don't know exactly what's going on in your life.

I can't make assumptions about it but what I do recommend is one of the things that you can actually do with your free time,

With your reflecting time,

With your journaling time,

With the time that you spend on your own learning about yourself is to learn what are these assumptions that you are keeping true to your heart or keeping close to your heart and what are the assumptions that you're living your life by,

Right?

What are these false or true?

Some of these assumptions might be still true and might still be able to help you live your life in the best possible manner but a lot of them because of the fact that time has passed by and the world has changed are going to be false.

They're false assumptions that you're running your life by and that's one of the reasons probably why your life is not as optimized as it could be,

Right?

And so if you could just go back to those assumptions that you made a long time ago and just sit down with it and try to feel or sense into it if it's actually still even true for you,

Right?

Does it still make sense for where you are in your life?

Perhaps it does,

Perhaps it doesn't,

Right?

It's what people do when they're getting a divorce,

You know,

They actually sat down with themselves and assumption that they had made a long time ago that I love this person and I want to spend the rest of my life with them,

All of a sudden that assumption isn't true anymore,

Right?

And so all of a sudden they realize,

I don't think I'm supposed to be with this person anymore and so they don't,

They're not,

You know,

They break up or they separate or they divorce,

Right?

And the same thing happens to our assumptions,

We have to divorce ourselves from our false assumptions that we made in a long ago past where we were a completely different person,

Right?

And so one of the things that I do recommend to you guys,

If you do journal,

That's a great way to do it.

If you,

You know,

Sit down and reflect or if you go for long walks where you have your music on and you're just chilling out and you let your mind wander,

One of the things that I do recommend that you let your mind wander to are thinking about these assumptions that you're holding true to your heart,

Okay?

And there'll be a lot of these assumptions,

We actually have millions I'm sure,

I mean at least hundreds of thousands or if not hundreds of these assumptions that we hold that we run our life by,

Right?

For example,

Racist people,

This is a random example,

Racist people run by the assumption that anyone who's not white is not good enough as someone who is white,

Right?

Now that's an assumption and it was true for them or it was something that they kind of came up with when they were younger perhaps,

Perhaps their parents taught them,

Their religion might have taught them that or whatever it is,

I have no idea how they learned it but it was true for them because everyone around them believed it and so they believed it as well but now they're living in a world where it shouldn't be true obviously,

Should never be true but as you grow older you learn your own,

You have to make your own assumptions about the world and you have to realize that you can't rely on these learnings that you gained in the long ago past,

Long,

Long ago past,

Right?

Again,

I hope this makes sense,

I really wanted to share this with you guys because it has been a game changer for me particularly in my mindset shift and in this awakening process that I am in right now and so I hope that this can actually help you guys as well in gaining more insights about yourself.

If you guys have any questions at all about this video topic or any other topic at all,

Please message me anytime.

All of my contact information is in the description below and I shall see you guys in the next video.

Bye for now!

Reviews

Great topic, friendly approach and nice energetic voice. made me think about my assumptions. I foresee that this could be life changing for me and many people.

Love this! Excellent advice in terms of checking the evidence and our motivations. I have trouble sleeping on my back too. 😄 Thank you!! 🙏🏻😄