Hi,
My name is Bethany Dearborn-Heiser,
And I'm honored to have you join me as I lead this time of contemplation,
Using our imagination to enter a gospel story.
I'm going to invite you to place your hands on the side of your ribcage,
If you are able.
So,
Feel your ribcage expanding as you breathe in and as you breathe out,
Like an accordion,
Just feeling the ribcage moving.
And then relax your hands,
Maybe placing them open on your lap,
Just coming into this present moment and letting go of whatever thoughts are coming.
And as you engage in this practice,
And as you notice yourself becoming distracted,
Letting go and returning to the practice with as much grace and compassion toward yourself as you can.
Ignatian spirituality emphasizes that our imagination is a gift from God,
A gift we can use in prayer to encounter God and know ourselves more deeply.
There's no pressure to conjure up anything in your imagination to make something happen,
So just even notice how you're feeling as you consider engaging with this imaginative practice.
Sometimes I have felt stressed,
Really wanting something amazing to happen,
And just letting go of that as much as possible.
Picturing a child playing freely,
Or if you've done improv before,
Just knowing that whatever comes,
You can say yes to,
Asking God to guide this time of imaginative prayer.
The story we are going to read comes from John 13.
The disciples and Jesus have just shared a meal,
A very significant meal known as the Last Supper.
During this meal,
Jesus tells of one who would betray him.
The disciples are aghast and affirm their love of him.
I'm going to read the passage,
And I invite you to allow your imagination to bring light,
Color,
Images,
Smells,
And sounds to mind.
Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything,
And that he had come from God and would return to God.
So he got up from the table,
Took off his robe,
Wrapped a towel around his waist,
And poured water into a basin.
I'm going to sit with that.
Imagine that table,
Where the disciples are,
They've just finished a meal,
Maybe they're still talking to each other,
Maybe they're wiping their mouths.
Notice where you picture yourself in that scene.
Are you on the edge?
Are you standing by the wall?
Are you at the table?
Sitting next to the disciples as they finish up their meal,
Chatting to each other.
What smells do you smell?
And then notice Jesus.
He gets up from the table,
And takes off his robe,
And wraps a towel around his waist,
And pours water into a basin.
Watch Jesus as he begins to wash the disciples' feet.
How are the disciples responding?
Are there a few on the edge of the table still talking and eating?
Watch the murmur,
The whispers that travel around the table.
The curiosity.
What is he doing?
For a moment,
Picture the disciples' feet.
These feet in sandals,
That have trod very unclean roads.
Imagine them looking down at their feet,
Thinking,
Is Jesus going to wash my feet?
Jesus continues to wash the disciples' feet,
Drying them with a towel,
And he comes to Simon Peter.
Peter says to him,
Lord,
Are you going to wash my feet?
Jesus replied,
You don't understand now what I'm doing,
But someday you will.
Imagine Peter's thoughts,
His feelings,
What sensations is he feeling?
He replies,
No,
You will never ever wash my feet.
Jesus replies,
Unless I wash you,
You won't belong to me.
Imagine Peter's face at hearing this.
Simon Peter exclaims,
Then wash my hands and head as well,
Lord,
Not just my feet.
Jesus comes up to Judas and washes his feet.
Can you picture the face of Judas?
Jesus knows what Judas is about to do,
And he washes his feet.
How do you imagine Judas felt?
Now imagine that you're at that table,
And Judas comes up to you,
Towel around his waist,
Asking to wash your feet.
What stirs in you?
What sensations do you notice in your body?
Imagine he takes one foot,
Carefully washing it,
And places it back down in the water.
He picks up the other foot and carefully washes it,
And then dries your feet.
What do you feel?
How does it feel right to you engaged in conversation with Jesus?
It often feels easier to help others than to be helped.
Maybe acknowledge or confess your desire to be strong,
Independent,
To not have needs,
To not receive,
To be capable.
Whatever comes to mind right now,
To share that with Jesus.
Maybe even noticing what growth you've had in your ability to ask for help or receive care.
Does it feel easier to receive now than it used to?
What gets in the way of you receiving care?
Give thanks to yourself,
To Jesus,
For the ways that you've worked on this,
The ways that you have shown up for yourself,
Or showing up for yourself right now.
Whatever else comes to mind in this moment?
Jesus demonstrates his humility by washing the disciples' feet.
In doing so,
He also inherently asks them to humble themselves and receive.
This is the way of the kingdom,
To serve and to be served.
This Monday,
Thursday,
This practice,
This time,
May you let yourself be washed,
Be tended to,
And receive a love that is deeper and richer and more expansive than we can grasp.
I invite you now to open your eyes,
To come back to where you are,
And if you have a pen and paper,
To take a few moments to write down your reflection.
What are your blocks to receiving care,
Or in what ways have you learned to receive care?
Feel free to take as long as you need.
You'll hear the sound of a bell to close our time of meditation together.
