Hi,
Welcome back to another episode of the April Sings a Lot podcast.
This podcast is going to be sharing story and song and inviting you to sing along.
There's a ministry that provides spiritual retreats for inmates.
I have had the honor to participate now in three experiences on the music team.
The ones that I've been a part of are in women's prisons.
When you're preparing to do a ministry like this,
You go through all kind of trainings on what you can and can't wear or say or do when you're in the facility.
So I had participated in all of those trainings.
And honestly,
Even though more experienced people were telling me,
Hey,
This is going to be really tough that first day when you walk in and the gate closes behind you.
And I was like,
I got this,
You know,
Very,
I was very self-assured.
So sure enough,
We get there to the prison first day.
We sign in and all that stuff.
And then we get a few of the guards to lead us to the chapel,
Which is where we're going to be doing all of our activity.
And as we're walking into the prison,
I see all these women.
And I was struck by this fear and we were there to love them.
Our mission was to show that Christ loves them.
And all of a sudden,
What I had in my heart was not love.
I'm not proud of it.
I was horrified at the things that were running through my head and the things that I was feeling.
When we get to the chapel on the prison grounds,
I go to the restroom and I lock myself in a stall.
And I had a meeting with God and I was like,
Listen,
I had no idea I felt this way.
This is wrong and terrible.
And I just want to be filled with your love for these women.
And that's what I'm here to do is to show your love to them.
And why,
Why,
Why would you choose now to show me how horrible I am?
I'm going to trust that your love will flow through me and that I will be changed by this experience.
So get myself out of the bathroom,
Go into the meeting area,
And each of us is going to be paired with a resident.
And we only know the person's name beforehand.
And we meet them for the first time as they're walking into the chapel.
I was just really wondering how this was going to go because,
Because I was having these feelings that were not Christ-like.
And I just,
You know,
I wanted to be better than,
Than the way that I was feeling.
I wanted to treat these women with respect and love and,
And what I was feeling was really not.
So the residents are lined up and they're coming in and they,
They call out the name of the person.
And then if it's your person,
You walk up.
And when I tell you,
When I saw my person before they even said her name,
I knew it was her.
It was the closest thing to the experience of love at first sight that I've ever had.
I'll call her Jane.
Obviously,
That's not her real name,
But I'll call her Jane.
She and I immediately connected and had so much in common.
She had also been in the military.
And so we connected over that.
And when I tell you,
She was better than me in every single way.
She was more educated than me.
She had children that were successful.
She had had a wonderful career.
She'd been a part of some things that led her to be incarcerated,
But that did not make her any less than me.
And those feelings that I had of pride and being better than these people were so glaringly wrong.
And God used Jane as an example of,
Really?
Really,
You think you're better than this?
I mean,
Honestly,
How?
How could you think that?
It was such a humbling experience,
And there's nothing like it.
There's really nothing like being confronted with your own bias,
Even though that's a hard thing to think about yourself.
I needed that experience to show me how much I needed to change and grow.
Being uncomfortable can be a very good experience if you use it as a way to get better.
Today,
The song that I'd love to sing with you is Nothing But the Blood of Jesus.
And the lyrics are,
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh,
Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Thank you,
God,
For your blood that covers and washes away all of our sins.
The ones we know about and the ones we don't know about.
Lord,
Help us to be the people you want us to be.
I keep wanting to say help us to be better.
But that honestly is not a great thing,
Right?
Because being better means that we're looking down on other people and that's the exact opposite of what we need to be doing.
So help us to love as you have loved us,
To love our neighbor as ourselves.
And to see every human being as our neighbor.
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh,
Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my pardon,
This I see.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleansing,
This my plea.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh,
Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing can force an atone.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Not of good that I have done.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh,
Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh,
Precious is the flow that makes me white as snow.
No other fount I know.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
