A New Definition Of Success: Divine Feminine Leadership

Iris Angellys is my author's name. I was invited to present at the 2022 Women's RISE (Real Inspiration and Sustaining Empowerment) congress. I presented on the topic of Divine Feminine Led Leadership: A new definition of success. These concepts are not just for women. I hope that this content gives you some new insights and a more expansive view of your own capabilities.

Transcript

Welcome to this presentation on Divine Feminine Leadership.

My name is Iris Angeles and I am the author of a book called Passion to Thrive and I'm also a facilitator.

I'm writing books currently and they're called Your Body Has the Answers and A New Definition of Success to be released later this year.

What is this talk based on?

Firstly it's based on my observations of how the world seems to work particularly at the long levers of power in governments and in industry and contrasting that with what I'm observing in my own business.

Why do we need a new definition of success?

For millennia the current dominant western culture has followed a paradigm of them versus us.

Our tools are now so sophisticated that we are capable of destroying our planet which is our only home in this universe several times over and even if that's not our stated aim we're making it uninhabitable with deforestation and plastic pollution and so on.

When we look at the way leadership is conducted at the highest peaks of industry,

Government and even charities we find some common traits.

These traits are the reason we are currently flirting with disaster.

I contend that there is a different way of doing leadership.

This new kind of leadership is already being practiced in many smaller businesses,

Groups and families.

I also contend that the vast majority of women have incredibly valuable leadership capabilities and skills mostly acquired by managing a family.

The problem is that these capabilities are currently untapped because women don't know that they have them.

Current leadership is characterized by dysfunctional ego state.

So just to clarify a functional ego is one that makes you pay your bills on time,

Show up to your appointments,

Keep your house tidy,

Those sorts of day-to-day things.

The dysfunctional ego state happens when we stop trusting our soul to guide us and to lead us and we the ego feels like it needs to keep us safe to an extent that's unhelpful and dysfunctional.

So the dysfunctional ego state is rooted in fear.

This creates an internal state of fear,

Disconnection,

Lack of trust in ourselves and others,

Having always to be on alert for betrayal and so on.

So this is a very stressful way to be in the world.

Most humans are caught up in this way of being to some extent.

It is reinforced by our society because people who are self-sufficient and self-reliant and who know their worth are harder to manipulate.

The divine feminine consciousness is the antidote.

The core of the divine feminine consciousness is one of a deep inalienable knowing of our own worth.

Inherent worth is derived from who we are not from what we do.

I will just repeat this.

Inherent worth is derived from who we are not from what we do.

It's knowing that we are valuable and lovable because we are a unique expression of life.

The relentless striving stops.

Striving is fine if it serves a purpose but we have stepped into a way of being where striving is normal and resting is almost denigrated whereas resting is really essential for being healthy in all sorts of ways.

So the relentless striving stops.

We don't have to prove anything.

We know that we are enough just because of who we are.

Anything we do is a bonus.

Both men and women have access to the divine feminine and divine masculine energies just as both men and women are able to come from a place of dysfunctional ego.

The divine feminine is about having a mindset of genuine care and a desire to see everyone thrive.

My observation is that the captains of industry and government currently come from a place of dysfunctional ego.

It is probably a prerequisite to actually reach those peaks.

Sadly.

What would a world look like where divine feminine leadership is the normal way of doing things?

What are the traits of current leadership?

What are the traits of new divine feminine inspired leadership?

So current leadership is hierarchical and top down.

So basically there are very few people or just one person at the top of the pyramid and the layers get populated more and more and at the bottom there's a lot of people.

So this creates separation from top to bottom.

The person at the top makes decisions and leads and these decisions affect all the people lower in the pyramid.

But the people lower in the pyramid very rarely have any input into those decisions that are being made.

There's also a sense of creating distance in the way of pay for example.

So the person at the top is going to earn a lot more than the people at the bottom.

There is this fantasy that you can start at the bottom and work your way up the pyramid but these days it seems to be more a case of people at the top get parachuted in from somewhere else and people at the bottom might be able to get up one rung or two but not right to the top.

So that again creates a degree of separation between the people at the top and the people at the bottom.

So it's not unusual for the people at the bottom to feel resentful of the people at the top that are so far removed from the actual groundwork that's being done in the business and the people at the top feel like the people on the bottom of the pyramid are just units not really human beings with feelings and emotions and desires and goals and aspirations.

New leadership so divine feminine leadership is horizontal and co-creative.

What does that mean?

So if we take the example of a flower the leadership is symbolized by the center and the center of the flower is connected with the stalk down into mother earth.

So this the leadership in the center has to be grounded in something that sustains it.

So that can be values for example or a mission or a vision an energy of being of service and that's what holds the whole construct up and each petal is connected to the center right.

Each petal is connected to known to so each employee is known to the person in the center.

There's a communication that can happen horizontally from the petals in towards the middle and from the middle outwards yeah the middle holds and sustains all the petals on the outside but the petals on the outside are doing their job as well and each individual petal each individual part of the whole is necessary and performs a function.

So the why of running a business in the current model is profit at all costs.

It doesn't matter if the service of the good that I provide is actually helpful.

It doesn't matter if it damages a river.

It doesn't matter if people suffer a result.

It doesn't matter if I create a gadget that sells and then two months later ends up in landfill or down a turtle's throat.

Yeah it doesn't matter the only important thing is making that profit.

There's this concept of an individual's net worth meaning how much is this person uh does this person have in the way of wealth?

How big is that bank account?

So that's a very exterior way of defining a person's worth.

There's also this concept of never enough.

There's never enough profit.

There is uh never enough work that you can squeeze out of the workers.

Yeah there's a sense of lack.

James Packer who's famous in Australia um summed this up beautiful by saying he who dies with the most toys wins.

The why in the new paradigm is one of being of service.

We're creating a good or a service that helps the way or the community in some way shape or form.

Yeah it's beneficial.

There's a concept of triple bottom line which means that the business has to create financial economic and social benefits and if it's not causing those sorts of benefits,

For example environmental,

Then at least it should not harm.

But at least all those three things are considered.

Why?

There's also a concept of inherent worth.

So acknowledging and honoring the inherent worth of the people in the business,

Of the customers of the business,

Of the people in the community and of all the other living beings that we share this planet with including the planet herself.

They're also unique expressions of life.

The current modus operandi is power over with no accountability.

So I'm sure that the head of a government or a CEO would tell you that they're being held accountable by the shareholders or by the voters.

But ultimately if they do something that's not acceptable and not in line with what good practice would be or decency um there's a spin put on it or there's an inquiry started and ultimately they never really get held to account and there's not a direct sense of being held to account.

So there's two senses that encapsulate this way of being.

One is do whatever you like just don't get caught.

This is also known as the 11th commandment.

So basically and if you get caught try to get a good spin doctor and try to wriggle your way out of it.

The other one is I will do it because I can and because I want to right.

So for example there is a company that wants to own all the seed stock in the world and in order to do this it has created genetically modified organisms because that's patentable whereas the usual seed stock isn't.

But the thing is that these um these genetically modified organisms the seed stock actually potentially or is creating harm in humans and also in animals who eat this seed stock.

And we're playing with the very core of what life how life happens on planet earth.

And the thing is we don't own as humans we don't own the seed stock we partake in it we share in it.

All the other animals on planet earth are equally entitled to healthy food.

The other one is putting 23 000 satellites in the sky so that we can you know blanket the entire earth with 5g radiation which we don't even know is safe right.

Like the night sky belongs to every single living being on the planet.

It doesn't just belong to humans and it definitely does not belong to the one person who feels like they want to send all these satellites up.

The new modus operandi is power with.

So the bosses has power with their employees.

Yeah it's a two-way line of communication.

If there's something that doesn't work for the employees they will talk to the boss and a solution will be found.

It's power with the customers.

If there's a problem that a customer brings up there's a solution found to make sure that this customer or the other customers who didn't say anything are happy and keep enjoying the service or the good.

Instead of kind of you know putting on the the service and then not following through,

Not having integrity in it.

The whole point behind the exercise is being of service.

How does this serve our mission,

Our community and our world?

The new modus operandi is self-accountability and that is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

Yeah staying with the vision,

Staying in alignment with the stated goal even when no one is watching.

That's also called integrity.

So currently integrity there are double standards everywhere.

Yeah things that people right at the top of the pyramid get away with they frown on when the people right at the bottom do the very same thing.

Whereas in the new paradigm integrity starts with the leadership and permeates the whole organization because ultimately the leaders are modeling to the people in the organization how things are done.

Loyalty currently is demanded and in the new it's inspired.

Yeah if you are working with somebody and for somebody who has integrity who actually genuinely cares about you about the business and the product this is going to inspire you to live up to those those goals.

Mistakes in the current paradigm are hidden and then the mistakes compound and become real problems.

Whereas in the new paradigm feedback is taken and acted upon.

Yeah and the feedback goes from boss to employee,

Employee to boss,

Customers to employees,

Customers to boss.

Yeah so it's a it's a multi-way communication and that way mistakes in the future are prevented.

In the current in the current paradigm superiors ego are being pandered to.

Yeah let's not upset the boss,

Let's obfuscate this so this doesn't get found out maybe somebody else can take the blame down the track when it's found.

Right in the new paradigm it's recognizing everybody's strengths worth and contribution and again that's boss and employees,

Employees and boss as well as customers and also co-workers recognizing each of the strengths.

Yeah so if I have a worker who's really good at a particular task and really enjoys it and makes it look easy I'm going to give her this task rather than somebody else who might really struggle and feel really frustrated and take longer and feel really bad because they aren't able to complete the task in the way that they feel they should.

The view of co-workers currently is often one of competition.

Yeah so there's an internal struggle between people to kind of you know get that extra promotion or get that extra bit of pay or whatever it is and that can be sabotaged between co-workers because there's this carrot in front of them.

In the new paradigm it's about community right if one of my co-workers does particularly well I can celebrate that because I know that he or she has our model to me how to do this yeah and it also means that they will be cheering me on when I reach a particular a particular goal.

It also insulates the organization from outside forces because it means that the co-workers will look after each other and show each other up where it's necessary.

Achieving goals currently is done by KPI box ticking.

Yeah I'm sure we've all been at the receiving end of this where you're on the phone to somebody if you're lucky enough to be on the phone to somebody and it feels like they're just ticking their boxes they're not actually really engaging with what it is that the problem is that needs to be solved.

My most recent example of this that I saw was during the pandemic where the KPI box ticking was all about let's not get people in hospital let's not get people on intensive care which was great but at the same time all the suicides,

All the broken lives,

Broken businesses,

Domestic violence,

Children not being in school,

Children not socializing,

Not learning and developing,

Not being able to hold their grandparents,

Old people dying on their own,

None of that was being considered when lockdowns were being extended and extended and extended and extended and these things are going to have knock-on effects for generations.

In the new paradigm there's genuine caring right there's genuine caring of the boss about the business and about the product or service,

There's genuine care about the employees,

The employees genuinely care about the product or the service and they generally care about the customers that come in.

It's a completely different way of doing business.

The reason for working currently is work for a paycheck and for time off yeah go in to do your thing go what you need to do and just get out of there as quickly as you can doing a minimum.

In the new paradigm workers work for a sense of fulfillment and for serving a greater whole as well as for pay yeah they don't resent going to work every day it's a place where they feel good,

It's a place where they feel connected,

It's a place where they feel valued and pay as we already mentioned currently right at the top are getting massive amounts of money whereas people at the bottom often get exploited.

There's a company that has been shown to be paying their staff not very well at all while the CEO goes out and builds himself a spaceship.

It should not be that hard to pay your staff well when you can do that sort of thing with the money that you earn from that business.

So in the new paradigm workers are paid well there's less disparity there's this concept of ubuntu which means basically if you're not okay I'm not okay because our shared humanity means that we share we share pain right so if one of my workers isn't well I will do what I can to support her to get through whatever it is she's going through in whatever way that's necessary even if it's nothing to do with work right because she's part of my community.

So an example of this disparity apparently in the 1950s a bank manager would earn roughly four times the amount of money that an ordinary worker would do.

Today that that disparity is much much higher.

These days the prime minister of Australia gets to spend five hundred thousand dollars in three months on expenses right whereas an Australian average worker it would take them 10 years to earn that same amount of money and it creates this disconnect it creates this unreality on both sides about where the other person's at what their goals are.

Work-life balance so I actually have an issue with this concept of work-life balance it should be work-leisure balance right how much time do we spend at work and how is that not a part of life.

Yeah most of our awake hours are actually spent at work or getting to and from work so it should be work-leisure balance.

So currently employees are expected to live to work.

I remember a friend of mine who was from America this is in Europe his dad came over to visit and my friend told his dad that he got four weeks of paid holiday time and his father said oh that must mean your boss doesn't really need you and I was really taken aback because to my way of thinking you know our whole lives should not revolve around work.

People need to have time out people need to have time to rest and to play and that's what four weeks of paid leave is all about.

So in the new paradigm employees work to live yeah in my business I consider my employees other employment or family commitments or needing time off or study or whatever it is that they need to live the highest potential not just within my business but also in their own private lives.

The relationships currently are employees need to be managed controlled and motivated everybody needs to be standardized put into a little box and kept in there whereas in the new paradigm employees can be trusted because they're in alignment with what the company is trying to do and they're supported in their strengths and they're supported and when they're feeling challenged as well yeah so the employees know what the core of the business is and they're there because they support it so they can be trusted to do the right thing.

The employees power currently is to be kept dependent they have to fit the mold you take people that are unique individual and you make them uniform whereas in the new paradigm the employees are empowered so we basically want to empower them to the point to where they're able to go and work for a different company but they choose not to because they like working for the company that they're currently in so the basic mindset currently is what's in it for me yeah and that's at all levels of the pyramid whereas the new mindset is we how can we all thrive how can we all thrive together rather than how what can I take from you so that I feel a bit better momentarily.

So the team structure currently is of a pyramid right there are too many workers at the bottom of the pyramid for the boss to know everyone sometimes there are large open plan offices where some people might kind of start connecting but sometimes there's even hot desks so a person can't create a little space of their own where they feel safe and nurtured where they where they feel happy so the new team structure that I'm proposing is to have these horizontal arrangements so if you look at the picture the big blobs are the leadership team yeah so all the leadership team know each other yeah there's only a finite amount any of people in each team it's got to be few enough people so that everybody knows each other and can care about each other so if you have say 10 people in the leadership team and then each one of those leaders has 10 people in the team that that they're the leader off and then if you need more levels then you can each of those 10 people will have another 10 people with them so that way there's actually a direct line between a worker and a way of getting a solution to a problem yeah also if you have these small teams it means that anybody who works as cross purposes is going to be found out really quickly yeah it's like a web in fact divine feminine leadership is everything that current leadership structures desire but cannot obtain because they come from the wrong mindset being ego and fear as you can see anyone who successfully and lovingly manages a family already has a complete leadership skillset right any mother who is managing husband and children and possibly parents or parents-in-law and I'm going with the archetypical setup here it would be the same if it was a man who was being the heart of the family like you know the mother is going to consider take care of support as much as possible each individual family members thriving in their own idiosyncrasy and preferences and hobbies and skills and weaknesses yeah it's only a matter of scale so what is the key to embodying the divine feminine energy it's gratitude the moment we step into gratitude we step out of lack the moment we step into gratitude that sense of having to keep striving just falls away so I would encourage everybody to count their blessings on a regular basis and really feel that sense of gratitude and feel the relaxation that comes with that when we count our blessing we realize how abundant we already are yeah if you have a house if you don't live a war zone if you have running water in your home if you have regular meals if you have somebody who cares about you basically everything else is just a problem of abundance yeah if you have those basics covered you're doing better than most people on the planet so be grateful for that and watch yourself grow and expand in joy so the current definition of success is he who dies with the most toys wins by James Packer my new definition of success is she who can create a thriving community that can continue thriving without her wins so if you can create a business a charity a club an organization a family that can thrive without you being there yes it might be different from how you would do things but it can still thrive without your presence being there without you directing it without your micromanaging it now that to me is winning it means you can go out and do something else it means you can have a rest and you can come back in or not depending on what it is we're about to your own life so I hope you enjoyed my talk I would love for you to get in touch my Facebook page is called Passion to Thrive my book is called Passion to Thrive on YouTube I have a a lot of meditations it's called Iris Angelis or you can send me an email on iris.

Angelis at gmail.

Com thank you for listening and thank you for making the world a better place

Reviews

That part right at the end, about thriving w/ out me there, although it will look different, can still be thriving. Made my day so much better. Thank you 🕉

I really enjoyed listening to this talk. You put into words what I innately do and feel. Yes, GRATITUDE - it is so true. Too many of us are chasing the notion that “just one more dollar and I will be happy”… one day. Most of us have it now if we could just stop and realise. Then, we could spend more time caring for others, for the planet… oh what a beautiful world it could be 🤗