Loosening The Grip Of Control

I've created this track for a yoga therapy client who came with symptoms of anxiety and PTSD. In one of our sessions, she said, "Control is a BIG thing for me". She is also someone who enjoys a conscious clenching and releasing of the fist, saying that this gives her a feeling of 'releasing tension'.

This is the inspiration behind this meditation -inviting more trust into your life and settling it next to the desire for control. Combining the clenching of the first as a symbol of control, and then releasing it to allow more space for trust.

I'd like to express gratitude to Siz Islam for the cover photo.

Transcript

I, As you prepare for this evening's meditation for stillness, Ensure that you allow your body to settle into a comfortable resting position. Let your legs be heavy, Your arms and chest relaxed, Your jaw and eyelids soft. For any meditation, Including this one, Comfort is key. Do anything you need to do to make yourself feel comfortable. And as you are slowly settling down in your position of comfort, Notice the ground, The surface beneath you, Holding your body without effort. Take a slow, Deep breath in through the nose, And exhale softly through the mouth, Slightly open lips. Allow one more breath like that, In, Feeling the expansion across your upper body, Out, Feel the relaxation across your upper body. One last time, Deep, Full inhale, Feeling the expansion across the front of the body, And out, Feeling the relaxation, The softening across the back body. Let the rhythm of your breath return to its natural flow. No effort needed, No control required, Trust your breath. Feel the weight of your body being carried by the ground underneath you. Notice where your body meets the surface, Your heels, Backs of the legs, Buttocks, Back, Shoulders, And head. Sense the air you're breathing, The subtle sounds in the space, And the stillness beneath it. Today, We practice openness. We explore how it feels to trust, Let go, Be open. In life, Wanting control is natural. Most of our decisions are anchored in the desire to gain or keep control, To predict, Prevent, Or position us for the future. To crave control in a seemingly uncontrollable world, And to prefer predictability in a largely unpredictable world. We aspire to control, For control is our instinct. Control is our very human way of creating the feeling of safety. We all tend to control a big part of our lives, And in that sense you are in good company. At different times in our lives, Different insecurities and fears show up, And it is exactly in those times that we default to control. Like putting a lid of control on a pot filled with fear. And soon enough, We begin to see the effect of control. It shows in the words of appraisal, It appears in the applause, And it solidifies in the approval. A promotion at work, A successful career, Children who listen to us, Or parents who become proud of us. Little by little, Control becomes our invisible, Unspoken force that guides our life decisions. We adopt control as if without it there would be no success, No joy, No life. And so we begin to hold too tightly, Until it becomes enclosing, Exhaustive and suffocating. The mind enters tunnel vision, The body begins to tense, The environment shrinks. We lose the space where trust and faith reside. Trust in the possibilities, Faith in yourself. This evening's meditation is not about letting go of control. It is about loosening the grip, Allowing the trust to flow into your life, Like the air that flows between the fingers when you loosen the grip. Trust. Let go. Be open. And as you lie here, In a safe space, With a relaxed body, With a receptive mind, Bring to mind an area of your life where you may have gripped too tightly, Something you think about repeatedly, Worry about, Over plan or brace for, Something that causes the constriction in your chest or throat, The unease in the stomach. Maybe worrying about your parents' perception of you, Trying to ensure everything goes perfectly at work or at home, Wanting to control your closest relationships or how others behave. Or maybe it's a fear around finances, Health or career decisions. Allow one situation to naturally surface, Without judgment, Just notice. And as you hold this situation in your mind, Imagine placing or visualizing it in one of your hands, In the palm of one of your hands. Place it there. And as you do, Close your hand, Making a tight fist with it, Symbolically in control of it. Feel the grip. Feel that. The physical expression of control. The tension it creates. The effort it exudes. And as you continue to grip with the fist of your hand, As you continue to think about that situation in your mind, Notice what happens in the rest of the body. What part of the body tightens up? What part of the body constricts? Does the heartbeat speed up? And what has happened to your breath? Now, Take a slow, Full breath in, Holding it for a few seconds. And as you take a slow breath out, Soften the grip. Let the fingers uncurl, Feeling the space, The air between them. Let this movement symbolize releasing control, Even if just a little. Just enough to let the air, To let the life in. Notice what has happened in the rest of the body. Where in the body do you feel the softening? Where in the body do you feel the opening? And maybe the heartbeat slowing down? What happened to the breath? What happens when you trust? Let go. Be open. Now, Place your open hand gently on your heart or belly. Notice the warmth of the hand of the open palm. And imagine breathing into that space. If control is the clenched fist, Trust is the open hand. Trust doesn't demand certainty. Trust allows space for the uncertainty. Releasing the grip does not mean abandoning responsibility. Trust simply asks that once you've done your part, Once you have controlled what is in your power, You soften your grip, Enough for life to meet you halfway. And as you breathe freely and easily, Invite a bit more faith and trust into that area of your life, Or a topic you've been holding on to so tight. With every inhale, Allow the trust and faith to enter the body subtly. Like that open hand is the source, Is the entry point of trust into your body. With every inhale, Letting the faith and trust enter the body. And with every exhale, Spread it all along the body. With every exhale, Letting it settle. Letting it feel welcomed. Not to replace control, But to coexist with it. And for the next five breaths, Visualize the trust, That feeling of trust, Feeling of faith, Enter and spread throughout the body. And if it feels natural and easy, You may whisper in your mind, I trust, I let go, I am open. I trust, I let go, I am open. I trust, I let go, I am open. Notice how it feels in your body, When you allow more trust and faith to flow into the area of your life, You'd like to loosen the grip on. And as we slowly begin to close this meditation, Notice how it feels to hold this truth. Where control ends, Trust begins. And life often meets us somewhere in the middle, If we let it. Take a moment to feel into this balance within you. The part of you that organizes, Protects, Plans, And the part of you that softens, Allows, Receives. You can have clarity, Intention, Preparedness, And still leave space and openness for life to unfold in ways we cannot plan. You are allowed to prepare and to surrender, To care and to release, To plan and to be spontaneous. Life is spacious enough for both. Take a deep breath in, And a full, Complete exhale out. Invite any small movements into the hands, Into the feet, And let your body stretch if it wishes. Take a final, Nourishing breath in, And exhale with a sense of soft release. Thank yourself for this time of exploration, Surrender, And courage. And thank you for trusting me with this experience.