This is S.
D.
Hudson Magic.
Jane Eyre.
Chapter 35 Further Continued St.
John continued unerringly,
He that overcometh shall inherit all things,
And I will be his God,
And he shall be my son.
But,
Was slowly distinctly read,
The fearful,
The unbelieving,
Etc.
,
Shall have their part in the lake,
Which burneth with fire and brimstone,
Which is the second death.
Henceforth I knew what fate St.
John feared for me.
A calm,
Subdued triumph,
Blent with a longing earnestness,
Marked his enunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter.
The reader believed his name was already written in the Lamb's Book of Life,
And he yearned after the hour which should admit him to the city to which the kings of the earth bring their glory and honour,
Which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it,
Because the glory of God lightens it and the Lamb is the light thereof.
In the prayer following this chapter,
All his energy gathered,
All his stern zeal woke.
St.
John was in deep earnest,
Wrestling with God and resolved on a conquest.
He supplicated strength for the weak-hearted,
Guidance for wanderers from the fold,
A return even at the eleventh hour for those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path.
He asked,
He urged,
He claimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning.
Earnestness is ever deeply solemn.
First,
As I listened to that prayer,
I wondered at his.
Then,
When it continued and rose,
I was touched by it,
And at last awed.
He felt the greatness and goodness of his purpose so sincerely.
Others who heard him plead for it could not but feel it too.
The prayer over,
We took leave of him.
He was to go at a very early hour in the morning.
Diana and Mary,
Having kissed him,
Left the room,
In compliance,
I think,
With a whispered hint from him.
I tended my hand and wished him a pleasant journey.
Thank you,
Jane.
As I said,
I shall return from Cambridge in a fortnight.
That space,
Then,
Is left you for reflection.
If I listen to human pride,
I should say no more to you of marriage with me,
But I listen to my duty and keep steadily in view my first aim,
To do all things to the glory of God.
My master was long-suffering,
So will I be.
I cannot give you to petition as a vessel of wrath.
Repent,
Resolve,
While there is yet time.
Remember,
We are bid to work while it is day,
Warned that the night cometh when no man shall work.
God give you strength to choose that better part,
Which shall not be taken from you.
He laid his hand on my head as he uttered the last words.
He had spoken earnestly,
Mildly.
His look was not indeed that of a lover beholding its mistress,
But it was that of a pastor recalling his wandering sheep,
Or better,
Of a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is responsible.
All men of talent,
Whether they be men of feeling or not,
Whether they be zealots or aspirants or despots,
Provided only they be sincere,
Have their sublime moments,
When they subdue and rule.
I felt veneration for St John,
Veneration so strong that its impetus thrust me at once to the point I had so long shunned.
I was tempted to see struggling with him,
To rush down the torrent of his will into the gulf of his existence,
And there lose my own.
I was almost as hard beset by him now as I had been once before,
In a different way,
By another.
I was a fool both times.
To have yielded then would have been an error of principle.
To have yielded now would have been an error of judgment.
So I think at this hour,
When I look back to the crisis through the quiet medium of time,
I was unconscious of folly at the instant.
I stood motionless under his touch.
My refusals were forgotten,
My fears overcome.
My wrestlings paralysed.
The impossible,
I.
E.
My marriage with St John,
Was fast becoming the possible.
All was changing,
Utterly,
With a sudden sweep.
Religion called,
Angels beckoned,
God commanded,
Life rolled together like a scroll,
Death-gates opening,
Showed eternity beyond.
It seemed that for safety and bliss there,
All might be sacrificed in a second.
The dim room was full of visions.
Could you decide now?
Asked the missionary.
The inquiry was put in gentle tones,
And he drew me to him as gently.
Oh,
That gentleness!
How far more potent is it than force!
I could resist St John's wrath.
I grew pliant as a reed under his kindness.
Yet I knew all the time,
If I yielded now,
I should not the less be made to repent some day of my former rebellion.
His nature was not changed by one hour of solemn prayer.
It was only elevated.
I could decide if I were but certain,
I answered.
Were I but convinced that it is God's will I should marry you,
I could vow to marry you here and now,
Come afterwards what would.
My prayers are heard,
Ejaculated St John.
He pressed his hand firmer on my head,
As if he claimed me.
He surrounded me with his arm,
Almost as if he loved me.
And I say almost,
I knew the difference,
For I'd felt what it was like to be loved.
But like him,
I had now put love out of the question and thought only of duty.
I contended with my inward dimness of vision,
Before which clouds yet rolled.
I sincerely,
Deeply,
Fervently longed to do what was right,
And only that.
Show me,
Show me the path,
I entreated of heaven.
I was excited more than I had ever been,
And whether what followed was the effect of excitement,
The reader shall judge.
All the house was still,
For I believe all except St John and myself were now retired to rest.
The one candle was dying out,
The room was full of moonlight.
My heart beat fast and thick,
I heard its throb.
Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that thrilled it through,
And passed at once to my head and extremities.
The feeling was not like an electric shock,
But it was quite as sharp,
As strange,
As startling.
It acted on my senses as if their utmost activity hitherto had been but torpor,
From which they were now summoned and forced awake.
They rose expectant,
I and we are waited,
Whilst the flesh quivered on my bones.
What have you heard,
What do you see?
Asked St John.
I saw nothing,
But I heard a voice somewhere cry,
Jane,
Jane.
Nothing more.
Oh God,
What is it?
I gasped.
I might have said where is it,
For it did not seem in the room,
Nor in the house,
Nor in the garden.
It did not come out of the air,
Nor from the earth,
Nor from overhead.
I had heard it,
Where or whence,
For ever impossible to know,
And it was the voice of a human being,
A known,
Loved,
Well-remembered voice,
That of Edward Fairfax Rochester,
And it spoke in pain and woe wildly,
Eerily,
Urgently.
I am coming,
I cried,
Wait for me,
And I will come.
I flew to the door and looked into the passage.
It was dark.
I ran out into the garden.
It was void.
Where are you?
I exclaimed.
The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly back.
Where are you?
I listened.
The wind sighed low in the firs,
All was maul and loneliness and midnight harsh.
Down,
Superstition,
I commented,
As that spectre rose up black by the black dew at the gate.
This is not thy deception,
Nor thy witchcraft.
It is the work of nature.
She was roused,
And did no miracle but her best.
I broke from St.
John,
Who had followed,
And would have detained me.
It was my time to assume ascendancy.
My powers were in play and in force.
I told him to forbear question or remark.
I desired him to leave me.
I must and would be alone.
He obeyed at once.
Where there is energy to command well enough,
Obedience never fails.
I mounted to my chamber,
Locked myself in,
Fell on my knees,
And prayed in my way,
A different way to St.
John's,
But effective in its own fashion.
I seemed to penetrate very near a mighty spirit,
And my soul rushed out in gratitude at his feet.
I rose from the thanksgiving,
Took a resolve,
And lay down unscared and enlightened,
Eager but for the daylight.
