Blethingwood Hall Written and performed by Stephanie Poppins Chapter Six The next morning dawned bright and cold,
And having breakfasted like kings for a change,
Penny and William found themselves at the front of Dr.
Ling's science lab,
Optimistic for the lesson ahead.
The resolution they'd made to stick together was proving easy to keep,
As they'd both been put into lowers.
This meant they would be sharing the majority of their classes.
The same couldn't be said for Adam,
However.
Being that bit older,
He was standing outside with the Upper West and the Ferrador to keep him company.
Penny felt sorry for him.
Rugby on such a cold morning was anything but fun,
Especially for Adam.
William,
Meanwhile,
Was absorbed in the dusty space they were lucky enough to have found themselves in.
Full of all the things he expected to see,
And quite a few he didn't.
Dr.
Ling's laboratory did not disappoint.
With its many rows of cut glass receptacles and luminous test tubes,
It was a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of Blethingwood Hall.
And both he and Penny felt instantly at home in the one room that hadn't been doused in bleach in the last 24 hours.
It's what Dad would call atmospheric,
William whispered.
He'd love this.
They sat quietly together at the front,
Taking silent bets on how long it would take the doctor to look up from whatever it was he was inspecting.
Meanwhile,
At the back,
Tamarine Swift,
A Lower West girl who'd spent more than a considerable amount of time that morning coordinating her hair accessories with her shoes,
Was entertaining her friends.
I don't even think he knows we're here,
She mocked.
Look,
I'll bet he won't even notice me get up.
It had been no more than a minute since she'd began the charade,
But this was clearly a minute too many.
And without warning,
Dr.
Ling scraped back the legs of his chair for a full five seconds before placing the object of his fascination carefully on his desk.
For what is a lesson without a little drama,
He said to himself.
He lifted his head very slowly,
As if resigning himself to battle,
Then stepped out with two brown sandal-besot feet.
He picked up speed,
His matching polyester trousers swinging carelessly around his dark-haired ankles.
Then reaching the object of his distraction,
He stopped,
His round face leaning into Tamarine's.
Dr.
Robert Ling was a teacher it was easy to underestimate,
And underestimate him,
Tamarind,
Most certainly had.
There was a prolonged pause before he spoke softly through his wide grin.
As tedious as some may find it,
I just love to listen to elevator music,
He said.
His theatrical tone in no way reflected the look on his face.
In fact,
I would go so far as to say it represents the chosen backdrop to my existence.
His grin was waning now,
His carefully orchestrated pause allowing stolen glances from one pupil to another.
They were unsure as to what their teacher was getting at,
But were certain they were going to find out sooner rather than later.
Do you understand what I'm saying,
Child?
The doctor's voice was firm,
His thick dark-framed glasses holding a determined stare.
This whole thing we have here needs to be simple,
Calm and simple,
He gesticulated.
No fuss,
No drama,
And if I get drama,
Well.
.
.
His broad smile returned,
Albeit unmatched in his dark eyes.
Let's just say I won't get any drama and leave it at that,
Shall we?
Tamarind opened her mouth to speak and he cut her short.
Given the choice,
He smoothed down his mud-brown tie with two dark-haired hands.
I'd much rather be sitting in the corner drinking whisky than having to teach the likes of you.
Now open your textbook and turn to page three.
There's a good human.
Oh,
And while you're at it,
Your fine pens are much more effective with a lid off.
Defiance lit up Tamarind's cold eyes and she bit back hard.
You can't speak to me like that.
My father will have something to say about this.
He's a chamberlain.
He can have you sacked.
Sacked?
Shmacked?
Mr Ling replied coolly.
My father's a stand-up comedian.
I win.
At this,
The class burst into laughter.
You'll have to wake up a lot earlier than that to get one over on him,
Smirked Jacob Tatler-Hughes,
And Tamarind squirmed.
Oh,
Shut up.
He'll get what's coming to him,
Just you wait and see,
She sniped.
As the doctor sauntered around the room,
Swiping his metre stick over any head deemed tall enough to warrant it.
Down at the front,
A rush of purulation reached Penny's throat and she lowered her gaze for fear she would jump up and shout yes at any moment.
The almost comical figure of Dr Ling was,
She decided,
The best thing to happen since their return and science was now most certainly at top of her list.
Now that we've transcended that small obstacle,
Let us consider this as scientists,
The doctor continued,
Floating up and down each aisle with a buoyant beige sock step.
Then clicking the projector screen into action,
He gestured to the curtains with his forefinger and Jason,
Eager for what was to come next,
Jumped up to close them.
Recent scientific research has shown people who struggle with the most rudimentary of academic tasks may well fare better after a course of gentle electric shocks to the brain.
Click.
The doctor's voice was smooth and mellifluous and Penny's eyes began to close in spite of herself.
In the following slides,
We can see clearly the results before and after such an electrical charge has taken place.
Click.
A rather bewildered,
Vacant-looking boy was pictured with various men in white coats lined up behind him.
This boy was a former pupil of Blethynwood Hall.
He is now a successful accountant in London.
Click.
The transformed young man in this slide was positively glowing with two rosy cheeks and a smug grin plastered all over his face.
The class was silent.
Deadly silent.
Now here at Blethynwood,
Dr Ling continued,
We are committed wholeheartedly to bringing out the very best in our exceptional pupils.
Penny suspected there was a little too theatrical an emphasis on the word exceptional,
But she listened intently nevertheless.
And with this endeavour in mind,
We've selected a privileged number of pupils to participate in this elite programme.
There were murmurings at the back of the room.
Although we do not wish to discriminate,
Mr Ling condescended,
The treatment is an expensive one and therefore comes with a financial commitment from your parents.
My mother would definitely have signed me up,
Butted in a heavy set pigtail girl.
She wants only the best for me.
Then right on cue,
Alfred appeared at the door,
Accompanied by a rather odd looking metal contraption.
Penny looked at William in disbelief,
But he was staring agog at the picture of the man on the screen.
Is he mad?
This can't be real,
Surely?
Penny whispered,
Nudging William out of his stupor with a sharp elbow.
I heard something like this on the news once.
William replied matter-of-factly,
His eyes still locked in.
Now I will call out the names of those pupils chosen as suitable participants,
Dr Ling continued.
And grabbing a clipboard from his desk,
He added,
Please come to the front if your name is called.
