Hello.
And.
Welcome.
Bye.
Haven't done this in a while.
Which is to do a tour.
And I haven't done one on video.
So.
.
.
My name is Teredo Mundawarara.
And I talk about.
I typically talk about.
The journey.
Of bringing ourselves.
To relationship.
With self.
And fundamentally Becoming one's best friend.
You know,
My talk.
If you've heard them before,
They're typically on audio.
And if I look at my journey here,
I wouldn't say largely.
But for me personally,
It feels like it really started to gain momentum.
Personally.
When I would.
Give a talk like this.
And today I want to talk about Stopping.
Something really quite interesting happened last week.
And it's been slowly happening over the last six to eight weeks and ultimately somebody might even sit and say you know what it's been happening.
For the last five years of this journey.
I found myself having a conversation on Friday which I didn't expect to have.
I found as I was having the conversation that it was the right conversation to have.
Annabelle's really where I am.
Now.
And to give context,
What's been happening is that.
For probably.
.
.
Since 2021,
I've had this ritual of Wake up.
Meditate.
Do some personal work.
As in my own personal admin basically putting myself first.
Exercise.
Eat.
Connect to family.
And start my day.
And really,
Interestingly enough,
Over the last four or five months.
That routine has started to.
.
.
Not feel like a necessity.
And I've been alright with that.
And it was such an interesting contrast because I found myself for so many years.
And I've probably said it here,
I've said.
.
.
I felt so dysregulated when I was out of that routine.
And what has been so interesting is that I haven't been dysregulated being out of that routine of late.
It's been.
.
.
I don't even know if the word is comforting as much as it is.
.
.
Feels right.
Like a warm jumper.
On a winter's morning.
It felt right.
It feels right.
And the context with this past Friday was.
.
.
So an online session with.
My IFS therapist.
And basically.
.
.
I can't put words in her mouth.
Came to the conclusion that time now to.
.
.
Pause,
Take a hiatus.
And What is it that I'm getting at?
You know all too often.
There's this desire to instate.
Amidst this continual Need speaking for myself.
But what these last few months have shown me,
And in particular this last weekend,
Is that Sometimes you get to a point where.
.
.
It's okay.
Be there.
It's okay to.
.
.
I don't even want to say the word rest because that's not the right word.
It's okay to be there.
It's okay to be present with self,
It's okay to be.
.
.
OK with me.
Being okay.
And I know people say that.
But in saying those words right now,
I'm meaning it in a very different way.
Sometimes.
There just simply isn't anything.
To Unpack.
To work on.
And I guess the point of this.
.
.
Video in many ways is to say something that I at least haven't heard and that's really always been what I do this full.
Is to kind of speak to me.
Five years ago.
And for me five years ago to hear the words.
That I feel like I needed then.
And Sometimes it is.
Alright to just not need to be doing anything in this.
Spiritual mindfulness space.
And to just enjoy what you've accomplished,
To enjoy who you are,
Enjoy where you are,
Enjoy what you've become.
Full stop.
The becoming will come.
And I don't.
.
.
Believe that there is a coincidence in the terms of,
For me at least,
How this state.
Has come at the same time as.
.
.
Answering the question about.
Do I feel seen?
And even that conversation has a journey.
Because for so long it was always external,
It was always.
.
.
This person doesn't see me,
That person doesn't see me,
Who sees me,
Etc,
Etc.
And then.
.
.
A friend of mine and coach on this space.
Lou Redmond said.
Do you see yourself?
Such.
Such a powerful a combination of words in a sentence.
Which may lead.
Hit me between the eyes.
And I guess I wasn't.
To know how to.
And in many ways I probably didn't know that I needed to.
That I wanted.
And what started to happen.
Maybe not started,
But what I've begun to notice more began to notice more of these last few months is a lot less in judgment of myself I've become.
And was never.
.
.
Poisonous judgment.
It was.
.
.
Always gentle.
Well,
Maybe it wasn't.
But it was always,
Oh,
I should've done that,
I should've done this.
And I had a session,
I spoke about it previously,
About the difference between should and want.
And the more I started to use the word want.
The more I started to feel and be.
And in less judgment of myself.
And with that.
Feeling of not being in judgment of myself,
I was actually seeing myself.
Who I truly was,
Warts and all.
Saying it's okay.
And I think the two.
.
.
Have overlapped.
Become one.
And when i started to put.
An identity on what it was,
What my through line is for myself,
Which was really identity.
I started to see myself more.
I started being less judgment with myself.
I was.
Becoming my best friend and Best friends don't judge.
Best Friends.
Kind.
Best friends.
Hold space.
Best friends allow.
And I can say that I'm really.
.
.
Grounded Connected.
And happy.
And again,
And in closing,
That word happy.
2021-2022,
I must have said the words.
Oh,
I want to be happy.
Six times a day.
It feels interesting saying that word now out loud because I haven't said it in such a long time because I'm at peace.
Self-circling back.
What am I saying?
I'm saying that.
Like.
Any journey.
If you find yourself.
Climbing up a mountain,
Walking along a path,
Walking through a forest.
There comes a time when you need to.
.
.
Simply stop.
Pitch a tent.
Walk into the cabin.
And reflect and enjoy what you've done.
Who you are,
Where you are.
Who you're with,
What you're doing.
And exhale.
Thank you for listening.
For those of you.
.
.
Who,
Whether it be through the years or through listening,
Have been along that journey.
Thank you.
And I will continue to talk,
I will continue to do meditations.
I just feel that.
Saying that out loud.
Something that I needed to hear.
It resonates.
All the best.
The bowels.
And I'll see you again soon.
