Part of what happens when we're codependent is we cling to the other person.
And we don't recognize certain red flags that we may be doing that are contributing to the friendship not working out.
Because often the other person doesn't really feel comfortable sharing that with us because they're afraid that we're going to get hurt.
Because as codependent people,
We are extra sensitive.
And even though I love that trait in myself and people I know that are also codependent,
Make it hard to have healthier relationships because the other person,
If they start to feel so worried about our feelings that they don't speak up,
Then that also contributes to that codependent dynamic where both people aren't really being honest.
The codependent person doesn't want to be honest because we don't want to lose the relationship and the other person doesn't want to be honest saying that something isn't working.
So what ends up happening is slowly over time the relationship starts to fade until usually they leave all together,
And it can be super sudden.
I know this happened for me a couple years back,
Probably 10 years back,
And it was a huge wake-up call.
So if you've had friends ghost you or relationships end without warning,
I really need you to hear this.
You can heal your codependent behaviors,
But part of what we need to do is look at how they're impacting our friendships and our relationships,
Like people-pleasing,
Not setting boundaries,
Pretending everything's okay when it isn't,
Putting all of our emotional energy into that one person,
And it ends up creating an unhealthy dependency.
These are things that are really important to examine in our recovery process,
Because that's how you're gonna reverse codependent one-sided relationships and start to build healthier connections moving forward.
That to me is the biggest goal in our codependency recovery is to first start building a relationship with ourselves so that we have a solid foundation and from that place then be able to create healthier relationships with other people.
But in order to do that we have to be mindful of certain behaviors that tend to trip us up.
Like getting too attached,
Seeing the potential in someone rather than who they are,
Committing too quickly,
Never setting a boundary or having needs.
So we actually set up that relationship to be one-sided and I don't want that for you.
Do some baby steps at your own pace to start knowing what you need,
Setting the boundaries,
Detaching when you need to,
And really start building that stronger sense of self because that is how you recover.
Thanks so much.
